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Legal matters

Can ex DH move back into family home 7 months after we split up?!

27 replies

aspyqueen · 16/07/2012 20:20

He's just announced he's moving back in this weekend. "to stop my negative influence on our ds" DS has been refusing to go stay with him. He's never been that happy going there at all and lately has been refusing. We did just day outs with DH for a few weeks, but DH is furious with the situation and actually ds doesn't even want to do the days out unless it's to the cinema then straight home again. DS saw a child psychologist through the school last month who said he does not feel safe with his father (due to DH's temper).
Can i stop DH moving back in?? He has his name on the deeds. My name's not on them even though I put in most of the money. Doh! We're not divorced yet. have only a separation agreement we penned ourselves, no lawyers. DH said I could stay in the family home for 12 months then he wants to sell it. It's been 6 and a half months.

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HeadsShouldersKneesandToes · 16/07/2012 20:33

You need a solicitor and a restraining order right now! pronto! do not delay.

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aspyqueen · 16/07/2012 20:38

On what grounds will I get a restraining order? He's not violent. Just shouty

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HecateHarshPants · 16/07/2012 20:44

Is there any way at all you and your son could just go? Him moving back in is not going to work. What if he started on at you to cook, clean up after him, wash his clothes? What if he appeared at the dining table at dinner time and expected there to be food for him? What if he started acting like he had any say in your life?

Get a solicitor. You need legal advice pdq

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aspyqueen · 16/07/2012 20:52

Me and DS could go, but this is our home. And cos it's in DH's name I'd prob be in a bad position re getting nay share of it if I moved out. Also Dh would be in a better position to have more custody of DS if he's in his family home Sad. I am getting legal advice. they only managed a quick call to me today saying tell him if he tries to move back in you'll get a Non Molestation order, but that it's quite tough to get one.

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RandomMess · 16/07/2012 20:54

As you are married the house is joint marital assets.

First time he starts shouting phone the police as you are frightened?

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aspyqueen · 16/07/2012 20:56

Well lawyers are advising not to leave. I know living together won't work though. LOTS of arguing. He hates me, Would not be a nice atmosphere. He's also very unpredictabel

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RandomMess · 16/07/2012 21:16

Lots of weekends away to visit friends and family to keep you and ds sane.

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aspyqueen · 16/07/2012 21:22

Yes I'm thinking long summer holiday abroad

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mamas12 · 16/07/2012 23:51

do not let him move back in He is not allowed.
phone womens aid or cab and find a solicitor and get something in place first thing in the morning. He will then get the paperwork before the weekend.

He cannot move back in after 7 months after you have separated he is bullying you I think you can even change the locks by now.
Stop believing him and act by getting the authorities onto him.

Good luck

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Collaborate · 17/07/2012 09:19

"He is not allowed"? At the moment, he is very much allowed.

There may be grounds upon which a court might exclude him, but you need to take legal advice quickly. It's not straightforward.

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mumblechum1 · 17/07/2012 10:22

do not let him move back in He is not allowed.

Legally he is perfectly entitled to move back in. It may, however, be possible to obtain either a non-molestation injunction or an occupation order, but you'd have to get on with it quickly.

phone womens aid or cab and find a solicitor and get something in place first thing in the morning. He will then get the paperwork before the weekend.

No, sadly you won't, OP. You are extremely unlikely to get an ex parte injunction in these circumstances, you will have to do it on notice.

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babybarrister · 17/07/2012 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Collaborate · 17/07/2012 10:44

Babyb I was thinking about the Grubb case - might apply to this situation, but far from straightforward.

OP - babyb operates at the sharp end of the system - i.e. in front of judges, so is the one to listen to about what usually persuades judges to make the kinds of orders you are asking about.

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EchoBitch · 17/07/2012 10:46

Can't you just change the locks?

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babybarrister · 17/07/2012 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mamas12 · 17/07/2012 11:13

Thought you might get some proper advice after my post Wink

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MOSagain · 17/07/2012 11:48

ah, see the 'Jeremy Kyle brigade' and my learned friends Collaborate, Babyb and Mumbles have been here already and set the record straight. I completely concur with them. Instruct a family lawyer, preferably a member of Resolution asap and find out what your actual rights are.

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cestlavielife · 17/07/2012 13:48

www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed43513 on grubb.


it is your home but also dh's home.

you need to sort it out.

i fyou amrried then its marital assets so presumably eual shares anyway.

if DS doesnt want to see him then you moving out with DS to get away woudl not equate to him getting residence - if psycholiogist evidence is that he should not reside with him. do you have your own finances, job etc?

i had to move out in the end. it has taken a long time and court and still for various reasons ex lives in former joint home and i am renting with DC. i have residence of dc. ( i have an order to sell the proerty but other factors coming into play as is flat and communal works currently being done. )

anyway, in my experience residence is not always determined on who lives in the "marital home"

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STIDW · 18/07/2012 09:28

But DH hasn't been living there for 7 months so it isn't his home any more.

There is another more recent case where the judge used his discretion under s33 FLA 1996 to a make an occupation order;

www.lawgazette.co.uk/inpractice/lawreports/family-proceedings-0

(Think there is a typo and it should read "no physical violence")

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Collaborate · 18/07/2012 10:08

An extract from the case referred to by STIDW:

"...the judge's finding, in respect of the health and wellbeing of the children, had gone beyond the sort of harm that children inevitably suffered when a marriage broke down and he had found that they had suffered significant harm.

He had further found, and been entitled to find, that both parties' conduct had contributed to the situation and that their presence together in the house was a problem. The judge had concluded that it was not possible for the parents to live together under the same roof without damage to the children. The parents themselves had seemed to be of the same view. In the light of those findings, it was not surprising that the judge had determined that he had to intervene. He had been correct, in determining how to intervene, to consider who should have care of the children.

Where one parent had had to be chosen as the primary carer, in the particular circumstances, the judge could not be criticised for having chosen the wife as it was not outside the band of reasonable decisions."

The crucial thing in that case was that the children were found to have been suffering "significant harm" (the test for taking a child in to local authority care). The harm has to go beyond the usual harm/upset suffered by a child in a family breakdown situation.

(Also don't think there was a typo - the court is saying that there's nothing in the statute that says that there must be physical violence otherwise the court cannot make an order - although absent physical violence it's hard to persuade a judge that's the right thing to do).

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STIDW · 18/07/2012 10:08
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aspyqueen · 18/07/2012 10:31

Is an occupation order hard to get? My lawyer doesn't seem to think so. I hope she's right. She does say it's harder to get him out once he's in, but she may be able to get the occupation order to prevent him getting back in. Anyway at present have talked him out of it til after the weekend so am thinking today whether to go to court tomorrow for an occupation order.

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cestlavielife · 18/07/2012 12:27

does it say on separation agreement that you would stay here and dh live elsewhere for 12 months til i sold?
in which case he would be going back on that agreement.
so maybe your sol coulda rgue tehre was an agreemetn already

and then that moving back in would be detrimental to dc wellbeing etc

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aspyqueen · 18/07/2012 12:43

Yes it says I stay in house for twelve months and take on payment of all bills and mortgage. It says he finds somewhere else to live.
Just poke to police and they said change the locks, If he forces his way in they'd come and get him out. I think it's like the squatters law. Even if it's your own house you're not allowed to force your way in if the person inside does not want you in.

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Collaborate · 18/07/2012 13:01

It's in the Crime Act 1977.

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