If a court order says....

[worriedwretch]

the mother shall make the child available for reasonable contact to include ... as may be agreed between the parents.



What does that mean?

[worriedwretch]

*should say "contact to include (and then a set of specific dates and times and venues) and then FURTHER contact as may be agreed between the parents"

[balia]

I think it means that the court have listed the minimum contact and have placed an expectation on the parents to sort out further contact as appropriate for the child and the circs (eg more in holidays, for example). I'm guessing this is an interim order?

[MOSagain]

It means that as the minimum, you have to make the child available (allow to go to contact) on the times and dates specified in the order. If you are able to amicably agree any other contact between you and your ex then all well and good.

[worriedwretch]

Who dictates what is reasonable?

I feel like im constantly living with the threat of being taken back to court if he doesnt get what he wants

[balia]

Well, either the two of you can agree/compromise on what is reasonable, or you need to go back to court and have the order defined. You haven't given a lot of detail, but making the massive assumption that you are the primary carer/resident parent, perhaps consider what you would feel would be reasonable if the situation were reversed? People talk about every other weekend, a midweek overnight/evening plus split holidays to be 'reasonable' but it does depend on the situation, age of child etc.

[ItsRainingOutside]

I have recently been issued with an Interim Order saying the exact same thing. My ExP refuses to communicate with me other than through a solicitor so makes a mockery of reaching agreement between both parties. I too am worried that, through no fault of my own, we can't agree mutually acceptable contact terms and the court looks on me unfavourably as a result.

[worriedwretch]

I've made reasonable offers, days in 1/2 terms etx and always either been turned down or he's had DC and then left them with friends or step kids (who are minors in their own right and shouldn't be left with children to look after)

I've also tried to make sure that the DC get to do what they want, but I'm scared of EX physically and mentally he was abusive towards me
And I still feel threatened by him.

Sad.

[balia]

If he isn't interested in more contact then you don't have to do anything, just follow the defined dates. If he makes a specific request, judge whether he is likely to be with the kids/they are safe and make your decision based on that, obviously bearing in mind that DC's also need a relationship with the wider paternal family. (Am still working on the assumption that this is an interim order, BTW. If it is final, you do not need to go beyond what has been ordered eg if overnight contact has not been ordered you don't have to offer it)

Have you thought about counselling to help you with the after affects of the abuse? It helped me.

[worriedwretch]

This isn't an interim order - its a final one - along with a residence order