lone parent - need to ensure ds doesn't go into care if i die - will advice

[swallowedAfly]

someone some time ago pointed out to me that as a lone parent with no father named on the birth certificate (and no father in his life) if i died my son would automatically be put into care despite the fact he has a close relationship with my parents and they'd be willing to have him. they said that i needed to make a will specifying them as guardians or they'd auto take him into care and then assess everything.

obviously that would be horrendous for ds - if his mum dies the last thing he needs is to be taken away from the rest of his family and put in foster care.

can anyone advise me if this is true and if so what do i need to do - how do i legally cover this eventuality?

thank you for any help

[DowagersHump]

Hi sAf - as you know, I'm in a similar situation.

I think SS will try not to take children into care if you have family members who will care for them but it will certainly make things easier if your wishes are all documented.

I have made a will which makes my sister and her husband my DS's legal guardians if I die. I don't know if you are buying or renting but my will also says that the proceeds from the sale of my house will be put in trust until DS is 25 with amounts paid out to my sister/him as agreed with my executor (my solicitor) to cover the cost of his care/education until then

[OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly]

I have no advice I'm afraid but am marking my place as am in a similar situation.
I would assume that the age of the child would be taken into account and if they are over a certain age their desires would be heeded?
I'm sure an expert will be along soon.

[Lizcat]

We have appointed legal guardians for DD in our wills should something happen to both of us for this reason.

[Collaborate]

DowagersHump is correct re social services response.

[mumblechum1]

The best thing to do would certainly be to appoint Guardians in your will.

You could also make provision in the will to ensure that the Guardians can access the trust fund with the trustee's consent, so that they're not out of pocket.

I'm a lawyer specialising in wills and have a paid for advert over on the Small Business Section of Classifieds titled "5* Will Writing Service" if you're interested

[cestlavielife]

make a will naming a guardian.

Ss will look to family members first anyway.

[swallowedAfly]

can one not write their own will?

[swallowedAfly]

[DowagersHump]

You can write your own will but I felt more comfortable getting a legal person to write it for me (in case my other sister decided to fight it :o)

[Collaborate]

swallowedAfly: That is perhaps why people shouldn't be writing their own wills. Do you really think that children under 18 can inherit a property or substantial savings and investments without them going into trust? Many people want to delay children becoming absolutely entitled to an inheritence until a later age, like 21 or 25.

[emsyj]

Please don't write your own will, swallowedAfly - it doesn't have to be mega-expensive, but do pay someone properly qualified to do it for you - there are too many things to get wrong that could mean the self-penned will is useless. I remember administering a deceased gentleman's estate who had written his own will and there were problems with it that cost £6k to resolve. If I hadn't sought rectification via the courts his estate would have gone to the crown as bona vacantia - he wanted it to go to the hospital that had nursed his late wife. So very important to get it right, and so so easy to get it wrong IME - stuff you would just never even think of can cause issues.

[Trizelda]

Definately get proper legal advice. Our guardians named in our wills are my parents but with my brother aswell in case social services deemed my parents too old.

[Hobs]

You'd be much better having the will drawn up by a solicitor - they're easier to overturn if you write your own.

You can have a guardianship clause added to the will stipulating your wishes.

SS would not take a child into care when there is a suitable family member willing and able to care for them - they are not in the habit of unnecessarily breaking up families.

[Becaroooo]

We have appointed a guardian in our wills for the dc.

[Becaroooo]

It cost us £70 each to write our wills btw

[razumov]

I am in a fairly similar position and would recommend Mumblechum's service despite being a bit of a nightmare client

[TeaTeaLotsOfTea]

SS will not take in a child if it can go to a family member. They're too short on space and it costs a fortune in legal services. If a child can go to a family member it is a quick(ish) procedure. Only all the legal side can be a bit time consuming but the child will already be with the family member anyway.

With regards to your will. Speak to a family solicitor, they usually have another solicitor in the firm that deals with wills and they can write it all up for you and make it simple.

A Will can be as little as £150 but if you're a single parent on low income then there is a good chance you'll get help with it.

[kmdwestyorks]

i did some research in this area being in the same position when DD was born.

If you have a will that states who should care for your child and it is a close family member ( e.g your parents who have agreed to be named) your wishes will be followed with limited inteference from SS and the child will not go into care.

i was recommended to list additional options as grand parents are obviously older and just in case the need ever arises you might want to have planned this (i opted for a cousin with children). my DD will go to my DSis first, then parents, then cousin.

you should lodge a will with a local solicitor for preference and make sure you keep your own copy where your parents could access it quickly and easily if they should ever need to.

it doesn't guarantee your child will absolutely go to your parents but there would have to reasons/evidence why he shouldn't/couldn't.

hope that helps

[swallowedAfly]

no i don't think children can inherit a substantial inheritance or property without a will - i was chuckling at the idea of having anything to leave that would amount to trustfund-worthy.

yes that was my understanding kmd - that the will would ensure no time lags and interference from ss. good idea about naming more than parents - i will ask my sister.

[floatyjosmum]

I am a SW and we only ever become involved if the matter goes to court (exp v parents or newp etc) and there are cp concerns and they want a s.7 report.

i know ive oonly ever been inv with 2 cases in 5 years and both were arguements between family members!

I know when my aunt dies my cousin stayed with family and it was all dealt with by solicitors with no ss involvement

[swallowedAfly]

thanks floaty

what if a child's father (who had never met the child) suddenly decided they wanted them when the mother died?

[swallowedAfly]

more chance of hell freezing over i'm thinking but i need to know all eventualities.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Could your parents apply for PR? That way they are automatically and equally responsible for the DCs - not only if you die, but if you are temporarily incapacitated for any reason, they could deal with schools, GP etc on your behalf?

[swallowedAfly]

the idea of that scares me a little disneymum. i don't think i'd want to give pr to anyone.

[NotaDisneyMum]

Oh, sorry - I thought you wanted to avoid Local authority involvement? If you are incapacitated or die and are the last surviving adult with PR, the LA are given PR by the court until alternative arrangements are made, I think?