Fasle Rape Accusation

[felix2012]

I was very pleased to see Mumsnet working to incease awareness of rape and the myths associated with the crime.

I (a bloke) was accused of rape about 18 months ago and had to go through hell for the over six months of uncertainty being on repeated re-bails before the CPS decided not to proceed. My accuser has recieved no penalty for putting my marriage, job, house etc at risk.

There is an assymetry in the law here, I genuinely believe. It is perfectly safe for a woman to accuse a man maliciously and she is very unlikely to be prosecuted for perverting the course of justice and is quite likely to be paid financial compensation.

I have no redress against my accuser.

Is this right?

[VivaLeBeaver]

Such a situation is not right, no.

But then I also think it would be awful if a woman genuinely had been raped but the man was found not guilty due to lack of evidence if she was then prosecuted.

[sneezecakesmum]

Its wrong whether a man is falsly accused or a woman not believed.

I think the first thing they should do is grant the same anonimity to men as to the woman, unless they are proved guilty. That is the least they can do to protect against false accusations.

Short of a civil action taken by yourself for damages (cost a fortune) there is not much you can do OP. Have the CPS said for sure they will not prosecute the woman for wasting police time?

Think it will probably need to be chalked up to experience and maybe men and women need to be a bit more careful of the situations they put themselves in where bad things can happen.

[vigglewiggle]

sneezecake your last sentence is appalling! I don't think you can chalk being accused of rape "up to experience" any more than you can hold a someone responsible for putting themselves in a position where they are raped/falsely accused of rape.

[AdelaideAussie]

sneezecake as a bloke I'm very careful not to put myself in a position where I could be a victim of a false accuser this does put a strain on dating but It's the way of the world these days

[McFluffster]

In this country anyone can accuse anyone of anything. We are all vulnerable but just have to accept that the system must work like this so as not to deter people from reporting crimes.

I was attacked randomly in the street a few years ago. They found the woman, arrested her and the CPS decided not to press charges. She was responsible, she admitted it but said I had attacked her and she was defending herself. My word against hers, it just wouldn't have stood up in court. I did not retaliate and I trusted in the system that justice would be done. It wasn't, she got away with it. Should this woman have some redress against me?

[McFluffster]

Am sorry to hear of your experience by the way. I can't begin to imagine how angry you must be about it.

[sneezecakesmum]

viggle Did you deliberately misread what I put? The OP is clearly going to have to chalk it up to experience if the CPS are not goiing to pursue it! Unless you suggest he starts stalking his accuser to 'pay her back' ???

As adelaideaussie accepts, its about not putting yourself in a vulnerable postion. Its called 'personal responsibility' and its the way of the world whether you like it or not.

Having been attacked in a dark alley when I was a teenager (luckily not seriously injured but had the potential for it) I now take great care not to put myself in that situation.

[vigglewiggle]

No I didn't deliberately misread it. Given that most women are raped by someone they know in their home and not in "dark alleys" I would be interested to know how you suggest they avoid that situation. Given that a man is most likely to be falsely accused of rape after a consensual sexual encounter then I'd be interested to know how a man can sensibly avoid putting himself in that position?

[sneezecakesmum]

yes you did misread. I said situations they put themselves in where bad things can happen. Obviously if you are in a relationship and rape happens it is not a situation you put yourself in realising the risks. I'm talking about risk assessment where it is possible from a male and female perspective.

There was a news article not so long ago where men were advised to get a verbal or written agreement (as on their phone) when they are about to have consensual sex with a new partner!!!


I've no idea what your issues are but I totally resent your implication that I am saying 'women deserve to be raped' as that is how it is coming across. If you choose to twist my words then go ahead I am not wasting more time replying and justifying what doesnt need justifying!

[dadhasnamechanged]

I?m male, and am an irregular poster on several of the boards here. I?ve namechanged for obvious reasons.

A few years ago, having told my wife I wanted to divorce, she went to the police one afternoon and falsely accused me of raping her over a period of years. The number of rapes apparently ran into four figures. I was arrested in front of the kids without warning, carted off to the cells and interviewed the following day. I was then released on bail and barred from going back to my house. Twelve weeks later I was told that the police were taking no further action.

In the meantime, my wife used the fact that I was on bail to get an occupancy order and non-molestation order against me. I started divorce proceedings on the grounds of her unreasonable behaviour, and the kids decided to live with me as they didn?t believe what she was telling them that I?d done to her. When the police told her that I wasn?t going to be charged with rape, she tried to persuade the police to interview the kids to support her by now wilder accusations against me. They refused to do so.
There were a number of occasions over the period where, if I had been raping her or otherwise abusing her, she had the opportunity to make this known. Of course, she hadn?t done so and her accusations only arose after I said that I wanted to divorce.

I spent fifteen months moving from one temporary accommodation to another with three kids whilst my wife lived alone in the four bedroom house, protected by the occupation order. All the housing costs were paid by me, again under court order which my wife obtained alongside the occupation order. Because of all these costs I don?t have any cash to pay for the kids school fees, which I had been paying out of savings accumulated before the marriage. They have suffered greatly because their mother decided to spend a few hours one afternoon trying to punish me for what I think is no more than wanting to divorce her.

It?s taken time, but I?m one of the few hundred, out of 1.4m arrests per year, who have had their dna, fingerprints and arrest records deleted from the police computers. The police say they will do this only when there is no doubt that no crime has been committed.

I agree that all accusations of rape should be taken very seriously, but it?s all too easy to make a false allegation of rape with no legal consequences for the accuser. Because the police do not prosecute for perverting the course of justice as a matter of policy there is no apparent downside for vengeful women who make these false allegations. My now ex-wife has done a gross disservice to women who are genuinely raped, as I now have a number of male and female friends who have seen my situation and have expressed scepticism at the claims of some rape victims in the newspapers. In short, it has been an eye opener to my middle class friends and colleagues who have never witnessed anyone else?s involvement in such disgusting allegations or crimes.

I?ve seen many questions on the relationship boards where someone asks ?My husband?s unreasonable. How do I get him out of the house?? I am tempted to reply, tongue in cheek ?report him to the police for rape. You don?t have to prove anything and you?ll get rid of him and a lot of sympathy from strangers who?ll believe you.? Of course I appreciate that not everyone is as amoral or as narcissistic as my ex-wife.

I can completely understand and empathise with felix2012 above. False accusers should be charged and prosecuted. This will make it easier for genuine rape victims to report and engender more sympathy for them, not less.

[duchesse]

dadhas and all the other men falsely accused- I am so sorry that this happened to you. You all sound very magnanimous in the circumstances. It is a low thing to accuse someone of as the burden of proof is elusive and the stigma stays for a long time (if not for ever).

As a teacher you have to live with the slight but real possibility that some immature little git pupil with a grudge over homework will falsely accuse you of sexual abuse, thereby forever wrecking you career and reputation and putting you on the sex offenders register for ever, no matter what the actual evidence. Most teachers will now not see pupils 1-1 in a closed room to reduce the risk. The only mitigating circumstances for the false accuser is that they are 13-14 years old and usually fairly disturbed already.

I am sorry if you have been subject to this by a so-called adult.