Not married, what happens to children???

[tiredpandabear]

Is it true that if a mother is not married to the father of her children, should anything unfortunate happen to her, the father may not automatically get full custody and that a will should be drawn up to make sure the father gets the children?

[motherinferior]

If they were born after, I think, 2001 (it may be a different year), the father automatically has parental responsibility if he's on the birth cert. Make wills in any case. You can also change your next of kin, legally, to be anyone you want.

I am not married.

[workshy]

depends on how old the children are

if they were born in 2004 or after and the father is on the birth certificate then he has parental responsibilty so this isn't an issue

although a will does simplify things

[motherinferior]

You need to make wills with guardians for your kids in case you both die, anyway.

[EdithWeston]

You cannot change your next of kin (other than by marriage or CP).

In practice, most organisations will treat a non-marital/CP partner as if they were NOK, but if you come up against an organisation that does not, or legal NOKs who obstruct, then you have no legal right to insist you are.

< sorry, realise that's not really part of the original question - the father, if he has PR will be legal NOK to your DCs should anything happen to you >

[mumblechum1]

The relevant date for automatic parental responsibility, so long as the father is named on the birth certificate, is actually 1st December 2003.

If an unmarried mother dies and the father doesn't have Parental Responsibility then he would potentially have to make an application to the court for a residence order.

Parental Responsibility for older children can be acquired either by the parents entering into a PR agreement, or by the court awarding a PR order.

It would be sensible to make a will to appoint a Guardian who would look after the children in the very unlikely event that both parents with PR die while the children are under 18. I'm a will writer and usually include provision for the Guardian's reasonable expenses to be paid from the trust fund.

The Guardian should be separate from the Executors to avoid a conflict of interest and also to spread the workload.

If you're interested in making a will, I have an ad over on the classified section of Mumsnet under Small Businesses. The ad is titled "5* Will Writing Service recommended by Mumsnetters"

[motherinferior]

I thought you could change your next of kin? A friend did, recently. She had MS, changed it - with their consent obviously - to two gay male friends. They therefore were able to manage her affairs when she took her own life.

[mumblechum1]

MI, that sounds more like a Lasting Power of Attorney.

[motherinferior]

Hmm. I do not, actually, think it was power of attorney - but it may have been. Not that it matters. She's dead either way.

[mumblechum1]

MI. Did she have children?

[motherinferior]

No. Didn't want children, ever. She had a very nice life instead. Before the MS, obviously.

[motherinferior]

(Sorry about thread hijack, btw!)