Hi I was after a little bit of advice re attending court for a contact order.
A bit of history, My Partner was with his ex for 2.5 years, what started as a casual bit of fun quickly changed when she fell pregnant. Their relationship was very on an off, they would always argue she has a gambling problem loves to play bingo and he used to love to be out at the weekends with his mates. She loved bingo so much so she would log in to his bank account and transfer money for her to use. Or pawn items in the home. He would work nights so would sleep during the day and then spend most weekend out cos he didn?t really want to be at home with her as they would always argue so he would storm off and she would lock him out he would end up at his mums all weekend. This basically continued for the whole relationship both kept promising to make more effort but both never did. Not the best relationship to have a child but they went on to have another one too.
They both had their faults in the relationship but this woman is quite nasty, (I have encountered abuse from her and her sister several times since starting this relationship with my partner she has also sent nasty messages to my family and ex husband) she accused him of domestic violence it went to court and thankfully the magistrates saw through what she was saying and found him not guilty, however her very good barrister really pushed for a restraining order which my partner didn?t object to as he wasn?t going anywhere near her so a bit of paper wouldn?t change it. The problem is his Ex is very clever, for example at court for the domestic violence court case she was strutting around giving us both dirty looks along with her family but in court really acted the victim had a screen put up, made my partner leave court as she entered and left etc. she also previously said if he didn?t love her he didn?t love the kids and if he left her he was leaving the kids and she would do everything in her power to stop him seeing them ever.
The reason I have given this bit of history is because of the type of woman she is and were worried what she will do in court.
Currently my partner is going through solicitors to get access to his children, she has told numerous lies about him, drug addict, alcoholic, used to beat her up which she is using the restraining order to back her claims up, despite the not guilty verdict. Through the solicitor he has asked for very basic access to increase slowly as its now been 8 months since he has seen the children and they are young, so is obviously trying to be responsible for the kids, but she has come back with lies and said contact centre and no where else. He is currently awaiting a date for the contact centre and having drug tests etc to prove she is lying, he wants to be able to go to court and show he has done everything she has asked, proven its all lies and started to build back the relationships with the children
He will eventually go to court to get a contact order to have proper agreed access away from the contact centre but there are a few things were concerned with and was hoping for some advice or suggestions?apologises it has been long winded but you needed the facts lol
Due to the restraining order he cannot contact her directly or indirectly or attend her home address, so having access away from the contact centre maybe difficult for handing over the children, there are no mutual friends, and his family have pretty much wiped their hands of it as she is so nasty they are sick of dealing with her. Her family feels the same about dealing with my partner. Is there any other options for the handing over of the children can they meet at a public place to do it or is that breaking the restraining order? We would something to suggest for the contact order.
He obviously would eventually like the children overnight at his home which he has purposely rented so its suitable for the children, is that something he should build up to or can it be requested straight away?
Can she have conditions included in the contact order?? for example she doesn?t like me and the fact we have a very good happy relationship and doesn?t want me or my daughter anywhere near her children, is this something the court will agree to or are they usually not interested in that unless im a proved drug addict or something?
Any other advice on dealing with this would be really great. Don?t get me wrong im not for one second putting all the blame on her for the way their relationship was but he left her as it was better to be apart for the children then together and all he wants is to be able to see them fairly and eventually away from the contact centre so he can be a proper daddy to them and were very concerned about what she can try to do and if the courts would automatically believe her lies as the police did before.
Thank you to anyone who got to the end of this and has some helpful advice!!
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courthelpneeded · 20/06/2011 16:17
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