Grandparents rights

[dana4nyc]

Hi all,

I am not going to go into too much depth but the basic fact is that my MIL and I do not get on. Our relationshi has been very up and down and it all came to a head 2 weeks ago and I very much doubt a reconciliation is on the cards.

My husband and I have a almost 13 month old DD and my IL's do love her dearly and they are great with her. The problem is is that during the argument between my MIL and I she threatened to take me to court to get custody of my DD. My husband says "she didn't mean it" and is a bit sympathetic to her because he says that they have done nothing to DD and it's cruel to let DD suffer by not seeing her GP's. I, on the other hand, am scared to let them see her because I am afraid that they (mainly MIL) might try to do something insane like drive off to Scotland with her (she is from Scotland and ALL of her family is there). We currently live an hour away from IL's and I don't drive so getting there in case something happened would be difficult for me.

I am not opposed to my husband taking DD to see GP's (after the dust has settled on the argument) but my stipulation is that he is NOT to leave her alone with them.

My question is this: Could MIL honestly take my daughter off me? I am an American citizen living in the UK with my DH and DD as my only family. I am also pregnant with DC2 and the stress of this whole situation is keeping me awake at night.

Many Thanks for any advice.

[mumblechum1]

Of course she couldn't!

If she didn't return her, you'd get the police to collect your dd if necessary.

Grandparents have no automatic rights for contact.

If you're that worried, make sure that your dh stays with your dd while visiting his parents (I would have thought that would automatically happen anyway).

Am a family lawyer if that's any more reassuring.

[sneezecakesmum]

There is no way she could 'steal' DD, the law would come down on her for kidnap like a ton of bricks. Try not to stress yourself out over this. If DD has a good relationship with GPs then its best to maintain that. Make sure DH is present so that your mind is put at rest. It will all blow over but unfortunately we can't choose our inlaws.

[dana4nyc]

Thank you both for your replies!

Mumblechum1 - My IL's have been asking my DP to come and get DD to spend some alone time with them and I have refused. I would be willing in the future to let him take DD to see them as long as he stays there as well. He tells me that he is willing to do this but there is some niggling doubt that to "keep the peace" with his parents he would take her there and leave her for a few hours while he goes out because I would never know. I hope that he would never break my trust like that but I know the pressure his parents could put on him in this situation.

[dana4nyc]

I mean DH, not DP.

[NomNomNom]

It's an awful situation for you to be in, I'm not surprised it keeps you awake at night. I really hope your husband understands that he has to be on your side and that you need to be able to trust him.

At the moment, grandparents have no right to contact with their grandchildren, they even need a judge's permission to apply for contact in the first place.

So if your MIL does do something crazy, ring the police because she has no more right to take your DD away than e.g. a neighbour. However, there are now plans to change this, but I have no idea what the situation will be or when it will change.