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Legal matters

DSD in potentially harmful situation, Mum won't discuss

14 replies

Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 13:39

DH and I are very concerned as DSD told us at the weekend that she saw bitemarks on her Mum and that her Mum has said that her DP has a problem with bad dreams and he sometimes hurts her when he is asleep. This includes biting, punching and headbutting, apparently he dreams that he is a
Vampire/wolf

We were and are both very concerned so DH asked to talk about it with her mum and he was told to "fuck off and mind your own business". This made us even more worried so he tried again and got the same response. We called the NSPCC and they said to call social services. We weren't keen but didn't see any other option. They have said they will look into it. DSDs Mum has now said that i am not to collect DSD from school as I would normally do.

Please help, any advice appreciated.

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 16:11

Anyone?

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Collaborate · 30/03/2011 16:23

If what she says is true she probably resents the interference and this is her knee jerk reaction to it.

He can always apply for a contact order.

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RitaMorgan · 30/03/2011 16:28

Hmm... any chance it's a consensual sex thing and the mum just came up with an excuse when the daughter asked?

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 16:34

Collaborate, not sure how a cOntact order would help?

Rita, I dont think it's that, her Mum and I normally get on ok and I think she would probably tell me if it was that. It seems a very odd thing to say if it's not true IYSWIM

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Collaborate · 30/03/2011 16:42

On the basis that SS are looking in to it, leave it with them. If she's suddenly cutting off contact, I suggested a contact order. wouldn't that help?

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 16:45

Oh I see, sorry I wasn't really clear in my OP. We have joint residency, but on the weeks that DSD is living with her Mum I collect her from school and drop her home to her DP as she works FT, school is a drive away and he doesn't drive.

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 16:47

A favour really rather than a formal agreement.

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Collaborate · 30/03/2011 16:55

Then she's cutting off her nose to spite her face.

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 17:04

I know and ifs daft in that respect, but DSD will be upset at the change in her routine as she loves being met by me and her little brother and going in the car with us all. It seems a shame that it's happening just because her Mum is upset with us. Also it makes me worry that she will try and change residency arrangements.

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Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 19:52

Also more to the point, if it is affecting DSD, and she's already worried about her Mummy, is there anything we can do?

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nottirednow · 30/03/2011 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Humphreythehamster · 30/03/2011 20:07

Why isn't it our business if DSD is spending half her life in a home where her Mum is being physically abused whether intentionally or not?

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STIDW · 30/03/2011 22:13

Of course when there are serious concerns about the welfare of children the correct thing is to involve the SS. Even if someone is wrong and incurs the wrath of their ex the safety of children comes first. The thing is you don't know Mum is being abused, children often get the wrong end of the stick and unwittingly contribute to disputes between separated parents. See;

www.mediate.com/articles/saposnekD4.cfm