PR and leaving the country without permission

[Gster]

I'm worried my XP the main carer of my DD is going to leave the country for a few days with my DD without informing me or getting my permission.

This is I believe an offence as there is no residency order and we both have PR.

How do you prove someone has indeed left the country without your permission ?

[Collaborate]

What is your objection to him/her taking your DD away for a few days?

[Gster]

No objection in regard to my XP going away with DD, I would however like to be informed about where she is staying and when she'd be back.

My XP is ignoring my rights on a number of issues. I believe with PR I have a right to know these things.

[mumblechum1]

TBH unless you have a reasonable fear that your dd will not be returned, I'd let it go in the interests of harmony. You could mention it to your ex, and say that you expect her to allow you the courtesy of taking your dd out of the country for short holidays as well.

[SooooCynical]

The thing is you either consent or you don't. There's not really a half way house.

If you don't not consent you report the matter to the Police and if they are already abroad then he gets arrested on his return (so you obviously really need to consider if this is in the best interests of your child). If he's not gone they would probably go and speak to him.

In a very similar case of which I'm aware he was advised to go and see a solicitor and he got the residency order and took his child abroad.

[SooooCynical]

Agree with mumblechum. Once you start involving third parties police/solicitors it all gets very nasty unless you have genuine concerns. In my example it really backfired on the mother (who was quite clearly trying to cause problems for the sake of it - there were other examples and SSD were invovled) as he went and got the residency order which was quite clearly not what she intended at all.

[Gster]

Reality, I'd quite like to know when my DD goes abroad as there is a risk of her taking flight ( my XP is not British ) . Having explained to my XP I'm perfectly happy with her taking DD away as long as I'm informed . Not much to ask really. Not unreasonable.

SoooooooCynical. Yes you're right. I don't intend on anyone getting arrested, but my XP is currently refusing mediation over access to DD and if she forces it to court I'd quite like a record of her ignoring my PR.

[SooooCynical]

Also agree with reality (second post!! I have also read your other posts and it seems like a nightmare situation).

I can't think of anything legal to 'prove' she has ignored your concerns/issues about taking your daughter abroad but you could keep some sort of diary which will make it easier if you do have to go down the legal route.

Like reality I do tend to think you may get to a point where you will have to speak to a solicitor.

My DP went through this and it was a nightmare. Things actually eased when his ex met someone new and she needed to keep DP sweet as she wanted him to look after his DS a lot more. 12 years down the line and DP and his son have a very good relationship but only because DP never gave up.

[Gster]

Reality, thanks.

I really do have my DD's best interests at heart. My Sol said she may well now be trying to find an aggressive Sol or Lawyer who'll be interested in her money not her or our DD. So I'm expecting her to get nasty as she seems to be avoiding mediation.

Suppose I'm hoping if it comes to it, it may help my case if she's shown to have ignored my PR.