Who Pays For Mediation?

[sneezecakesmum]

Unmarried couple and its basically the sale of the house in dispute.
Which partner pays for mediation or, if they both agree to try mediation, is the cost split 50/50 ?
I have read the info on the Resolution Website but this is not clear.
I doubt whether either side will get legal aid.

[Resolution]

Usually each will pay half.

[floatyjosmum]

ive used mediation albeit with regards to the children but i think its the same people. exp gt legal aid so didnt pay whilst i got stuck with £110 per hour plus vat!

[sneezecakesmum]

Floaty - Think it will only take BILs ExP 1/2 an hour to tell him to get stuffed - she wants the house, the business, extortionate CM !! It may be a way of 'setting out their stalls' and pretty sure a waste of time, but its what his solicitor is pushing for.

btw She's already told him he can pay for everything and she won't cooperate anyway!

Thanks for info. Will let him know.

[cestlavielife]

i suspect he will end up paying - but it could be worthwhile just to then go to court sand say "look i tried mediation and she didnt play ball"

he should ask mediator before if they will be willing to report on what has happened in the session? not sure how that works?

[Resolution]

Nothing said in mediation can be used in court, save that an agreement reached in mediation, and confirmed by solicitors to ba approved by them, can be brought to the attention of the court.

[cestlavielife]

"say it is not an appropriate case for mediation"
presumably that would be enough ?

• if that is the case - for BIL to say to judge look i tried mediation and mediator said
  " is not an appropriate case for mediation"
  
  then BIL could epxlain more in his statement why mediator came to that conclusion?

[sneezecakesmum]

Thank you... one way or another BIL is going to try to make it known that he has tried for a reasonable separation, has offered CM via a private agreement (refused) and is now looking into going to the CSA himself, as well as her allegedly emptying his private bank account (we hope the police will eventually get round to charging her, she's boasted to her family she took it) evidence from DVLA she tried to regegister his 4x4 in her name, witholding his other property (police reports).

His solicitor has told him what his rights and entitlements are. ExP is demanding he take 10K for a house with 100-110K equity, to pay CM at £350 pcm and to continue to contribute to the mortgage until DD is 25!! Its so bloody ridiculous and laughable.

To a lay person like me (who offered to 'help') aarghh... He should tell his solicitor what he wants following discussion, and the solicitor say 'that is/isn't achievable - and work out a plan. ExP should do the same with her solicitor - and he should put these ridiculous ideas out of her head. Everyone should then be in agreement as they are not married and it should be straightforward, signed and sealed!

Does this sound more like collaberative law or will it go the traditional route (court). Both have limited funds and needs to not waste time on mediation if it is doomed from the start. I guess the 'bitching' about her is irrelevant if she is told by her solicitor what her rights are rather than her telling him

[Resolution]

There is little to negotiate over. He can't have his half share removed from him - the worst that can happen is she gets to use it for a while. If she has crazy notions of him gifting it to her, collab or mediation would be a waste IMHO.

[sneezecakesmum]

I think you are right, she says she will fight 'tooth and nail' to keep the property. That does not sound to me like someone open to mediation, and has already said she will waste as much of his cash as possible on legal wrangling hoping he will give in. Will ask BIL to check again with solicitor which is going to be best route when dealing with someone so unreasonable.

Thanks again, we were very dubious about mediation anyway, Resolution site implies people who are reasonable!

[gillybean2]

Court usually suggests mediation as a way forward. If you've already been there and can show it didn't work then it can save time from that point of view (ie court sending you off to mediation, doesn't work, have to come back to court).

Do try and get something from the mediator to say that mediation won't work if that is the case. And if she refuses to go he should still book it, invite her to attend and go even if she doesn't show. Will all add to his defense. She may well go just so she can yell at him a while.

Does he have in writing anything of these unreasonable demands and threats from her?

Tell him to go to the CSA and then that side of it is dealt with. Has he checked using their calculator whet he should be paying? He should start putting that amount aside now so he can pay it once they calculate it.
www2.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

[sneezecakesmum]

He has a two page email with the demands listed above, purporting to be the advice given to her by her solicitor !!! (free legal/financial advisor via union, but not represening unless paid!).
BIL sent it off to this solicitor to inform him of the guff she was spouting on his apparent advice -would have loved to be a fly on that wall! But we did note her demands for the house for 10K stopped!

Had a bag of clothes covered in bleach but threw those. Has reports from police regarding witholding his property. DVLA will confirm she tried to falsify V5 document. Police still 'investigating' emptied bank account, no idea what the delay is there as the bank gave him his money back within days (usually months to reimburse).

He has got appropriate forms from CSA and has looked at the calculator and put the money to one side until they get in touch with her.

Lord, it's so long and drawn out, but to be expected I suppose.