Confused by money left to me in will- my father says it has been spent. Can anyone advise me?

[guiltilysuspicious]

I feel guilty posting this, I hope I do not seem money grabbing. But I am really confused.

My grandma died recently. Before I go any further I have to say I loved her, she was a brilliant lady and I feel terribly guilty for thinking this. She was a widow with two sons, one Grandaughter (me), and a greatgrandaughter (my DD).

My grandmother told me years ago that she had left me a third of the proceeds from selling her family home in her will. i would have thought this would be at least £60,000.00 (sorry to talk figures but it gives this some perspective). After she sold this home she moved to a small sheltered accomodation bungalow.

For the last 5 years of her life she lived in a nursing home.

My father and uncle are in the process of sorting out her will, they are using a solicitor. As far as I was aware grandma was pretty wealthy. I would have expected her will to include money from the sale of the family home referred to earlier, plus quite a lot of savings, shares etc..

They have told me that I will not be getting my share from the sale of her family home because it has all been spent. I.e. this part has been spent but not all her money has been spent, so my Dad and Uncle will be receiving an inheritance.

My father borrowed from Grandma over the past few years (big expensive divorce, new house purchase, money to keep his business going). So his forward borrowings will be deducted from his share of the will.

Dad has said that he will give me a small amount of his share, about £3,000.00, as due to his forward borrowing he will not be getting much money.

I am sorry if this seems rambling but I am confused, I can't see where the money that she left me has gone. She had a good pension which I would have thought paid her nursing home fees. I know my uncle is receiving at least £350,000.00.

My family have the capacity to be selfish and I have a niggling fear that the money she left me has been swallowed up by dad's forward borrowing and my uncle is not saying anything about this in case it affects his inheritance.

I am sorry if this sounds materialistic. I just don't think it seems quite right. My DD is my absolute priority. Any inheritance that I would have received would have been used to secure her future. If my Dad and/or uncle are being unfair then they are stealing from my DD- which seems very wrong.

I don't have the guts to tackle this directly with my Dad, I could be wrong and I think he will be livid if he thinks I am questioning his honesty.

They are using a solicitor so maybe s/he is ensuring that they have been fair to me??

I know the easy answer is to ask Dad about this but I am not sure if my thoughts are reasonable? I can't face looking like I don't trust him when he has told me he is kindly giving me a bit of his share....

[Buda]

Hmm. Tricky one.

She may have told you she was leaving it to you but then changed her will.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

I think the best thing would be to talk to a solicitor of your own and get them to handle it. That way it removes you a bit from the situation while it is sorted out properly.

I'm sorry that they are putting you though this :(

[ImFab]

You can get a copy of her will for £5 so you can find out easily enough if you were left money.

[birdbandit]

do you have/can you get the details of the solicitor executing the will? That way you can speak directly, and get a correct assessment without affecting relations with your family.

[LIZS]

It is possible that the majority of funds from a house sale went towards her expenses for past few years. I suspect it depends how the will was worded as to whether it was a share of the proceeds only or if there was a specific bequest. Also it may be she left a share to each brother, rather than direct to you, to then be divided up. Presumably the solicitor is acting as executor and will have applied for Probate so you should be able to obtain a copy and seek advice from there.

[Portofino]

I would smell a bit rat personally - but I think you need specialist legal advice here. I do feel for you though.

[Acanthus]

You are a beneficiary so i would think the solicitor will explain the situation to you.

[guiltilysuspicious]

Thank you so much for your answers, and for not judging me .

To clarify:
Dad and uncle have confirmed that I was left a thord of 'the house' but they say it has been spent.

I do know which solicitor is dealing with this, but (and I know this is cowardly) I do not have the courage to contact them and ask, because I cannot see how I can do this without my family finding out and I aill be soooo ashamed if I am wrong.

I have looked into obtaining a copy of the will. The information I found on the internet said have to wait until probate has been granted (I am not sure what this means but assumed it meant after everything has been sorted). Again, i don't want my family to find out.

I think I am stuck between being a coward and risking causeing ahuge rift in my family!!

[ImFab]

How come it is your third that has been spent? If that was genuine then surely theirs has been spent too?.

I was verbally promised a large inheritance but was left a much smaller, but specified amount, in the will.

[Portofino]

I am sure you can make an appointment with the Executor in confidence. If it is all above board, then no-one need know. If someone is trying to diddle you out of your inheritance though - sod worrying about falling out with them.

[guiltilysuspicious]

Sorry third,I'll, causing and a rift I must check before I post!!

[guiltilysuspicious]

Portofino, the thing is I really don't know for sure. If I am wrong then I think it would be pretty terrible.

[ragged]

Talk to CAB.
Who are the executors? Is anyone executor who is not your dad, uncle, other beneficiaries?
Ideally an executor is someone who doesn't stand to gain, unless they are the only beneficiary.
Did someone had power of attorney over your grandmother while she was still alive?
It stinks to high heaven, tbh. But a lot depends on the exact phrasing of the will.

[MrsWobble]

I assume that your bequest is a third of any proceeds of the house remaining at the time of her death and your father and uncle in addition get half of any other assets. Assuming that her nursing home fees have been paid for from the proceeds of the house (and not her other assets) then this would result in the situation you describe. Nursing home fees are easily £30k pa and if she has been in a home for 5 years then that's £150k so if your third was worth £60k then it's easy to see why there's little left.

You would be best off finding out the exact terms of the will so should speak to the solicitor. Is there any reason why you can't ask for a copy or why your dad or uncle could object?

[Ihatecobwebs]

Granting probate doesn't mean everything is settled, it gives someone the "right" to do the sorting, get access to the bank accounts etc. I don't know how long its been, but I know (from experience) that even a simple situation takes weeks to settle, and when stocks/shares etc come into it, you're probably looking at months.

You need to find out who the Executor is. I would suggest its probably not the solicitor if there is close family.

[suzikettles]

As MrsWobble says, nursing home fees will swallow up assets pretty quickly. I doubt a pension would touch the sides.

Presumably the sale of the house would leave a large cash sum which the fees would be paid from. The rest of your grandmother's assets may have been in shares or similar, which would have been sold to pay the fees if she'd lived long enough to need it, but can now be inherited by your dad and uncle?

So it's possible that the cash from the house that you would have inherited has indeed been spent whereas other assets remain.

[Portofino]

You may still also have the right to appeal also. Your grandma obviously intended that you should have something. The fact that your dad spent his share already - presumably equal to his brother's 350k might mean that the will was a bit vague....

[Fizzylemonade]

To find out who is dealing with the will - could you not pretend that a friend needs a will drawn up and could your Dad recommend the firm that is dealing with your Grandma's estate?

Just a thought.

[guiltilysuspicious]

Thanks so much everyone. I have tried to answer the questions that have been asked:

My grandma had severe demensia, the PCT ruled that she did not have to pay for her care home. This is because she was seen as so poorly that she required hospital level care.

My uncle had power of attorney as grandma was unable to make her own decisions.

I guess dad and uncle could not object to me seeing a copy of the will. But they would realise why I am asking and if I am wrong I will have caused huge problems.

I know who the solicitor is but I don't know who the executor is. Some posts suggest it should be someone who does not stand to gain, others suggest that it would be close family. I could ask dad who the executor is 'out of interest.....'.

I am comforted by the posters who have suggested that grandmas 'expenses' coild legitimately have been paid from her house sale first. If that is the case, fine, at least i am not being cheated by my own family.

I am hoping that as things progress I can
delve a bit deeper, ask a few more questions without sounding like I am prying. I guess I could also wait until things are a little more finalised, get a copy of the will and then go and see a solicitor myself (dad said the one they are using is £250 per hour- eek).

I am ashamed to be thinking like this but wow what £60,000.00 could mean for DD one day. My dad and uncle live extravagant lifestyles, they moan they are skint but they really have no idea what skint is whatsoever!

Sorry for the rant, thank you so much for your advice everyone.

[Blessings3]

Bugger upsetting your family - they should be showing the will and the accounts not some vauge oh its been spent. Grow some and stand up for yourself

[C0FFEE]

You really need to make a claim before it is all settled because it be to late soon

Go and see a solicitor most will see you for free

Sorry this is a very quick response as I need to go out and I am late

[LIZS]

Could it be the dementia affected what she thought she was able to do ? Maybe there were other charges on the house which had to be settled from the proceeds.

[ImFab]

You need to get a copy of the will asap.

[noddyholder]

You need to see the will and speak to the solicitor and forget about rocking the boat.You need some answers.Why was your share of the equity used for NH fees and no one elses.