Parental responsibility

[primrose22]

My ex and I are both in agreement that it would be a good idea for my dp to have parental responsibility once he moves in with me and my 2 dc. I researched it online and all seemed straightforward BUT I have now been informed that I would need to be married to my dp. Is this correct? Does anyone know of any alternatives to pr? Thanks : )

[prh47bridge]

No that is complete and utter rubbish. If he is the father and is named on the birth certificate he may already have PR depending on where and when the children were born. If he doesn't you can give him PR by entering into a PR Agreement.

[irises]

The ex and the dp are different ppl, yes?

You don't need to be married to your dp but to be honest I wouldn't be in a hurry to grant him PR until you have lived togethr for a couple of years and you can see how your children and he get on together. If all is well then you can do a PR agreement, rather than have to go to court to get an order.

[Gigantaur]

you don't need to be married.

I wouldn't go down a route of formalising anything just yet.

He doesn't need PR in order to do anything in the day to day running of things.
It is a big deal and not something to be entered into lightly.

[primrose22]

Its not something any of us are entering into lightly. My ex, although a good father, lives a good 4 hours away. He sees our dc on a regular basis but has absolutely nothing to do with their day to day lives and sadly doesn't contribute financially in any way (due to ongoing health problems) My dc are v.close to my dp and once he lives with us full time, he will be providing for them financially as well as being a fantastic hands on 'father figure' to them.
I worry a great deal about what would happen, if anything were to happen to me. I guess my thinking is, that if my dp has pr he could remain in their lives and would be legally responsible for them. My ex, although a nice chap, is totally unable to support and bring up dc alone. He would readily admit this!
Thanks for listening : )

[Gigantaur]

oh im sorry but if he isn't living with you and acting as a full time father already i t hink this is way too soon to be looking at PR.

IF you are worried about what will happen if anything were to happen to you then write a will and name him as legal guardian.

But really, in the day to day life he won't need PR.

Don't rush into anything. just live your life happily and know that for everything in daily business he will be able to act as step father to your children with no worry.

[primrose22]

I wasn't sure if naming him as legal guardian in my will was enough, so thank you gigantaur.
We have been together for 2 years, he is with us almost constantly ( when not working! ) and is very close and involved with all aspects of my dc's lives, school, birthdays as well as all the usual highs and lows!
I don't personally think its too soon, the only reason he doesn't live with us, is because both of us have been keen to move v.slowly and to let the dc's lead the way. I would have moved him in 2 weeks after getting together!

[Gigantaur]

you have done verythng very sensibly so far.

I just think that PR seems like "just a formality" but it really isn't.

he wont need it for signing school forms or attending Dr appointments or taking the dc's away or anything.

Yes if you have him named in your will, unless your XH decides he wants to take full time care of the Dc's then they will be your partners responsibility.

don't make anything any more legal/formal than is necessary IMHO

[cestlavielife]

you would need a court (joint residence) order for him to get PR if you not married see below

so long as your ex is in agreement it should not be a problem tho.

"Stepparents, i.e. the spouse or the civil partner of the father or the mother, can get parental responsibility by a similar parental responsibility agreement or by court order. This only works for spouses and same-sex civil partners and not for cohabitants. All parents who already have parental responsibility must sign the agreement. Therefore if the father already has parental responsibility and he refuses to sign, the mother?s spouse or civil partner would need to apply to the court for a parental responsibility order. The father?s spouse or civil partner can of course also get parental responsibility in the same way.

If you and your partner are not married or civil partners and do not plan to do so, the only way for both to get parental responsibility is if the court makes a joint residence order. "

www.alternativefamilylaw.co.uk/en/children/parental-responsibility.htm#3