anyone good at dry/witty responses re lots of kids?

(40 Posts)
whyismymindblank Sun 26-Aug-12 08:22:55

Just found out I'm pg with dc4 - very pleased, if a little nervous! One of the things I'm nervous about is what people will say... I already get the mick taken about having 3! I could do with having some responses to hand rather than thinking of them an hour later like I normally would (obviously this is all pretty minor compared with all the things I probably should be worrying about!)

PurplePidjin Sun 26-Aug-12 08:55:23

"I know, I'm just so good at raising a family!"

"The more we have, the better chance one of them will turn out a millionaire and we can retire to a yacht in the Caribbean"

"What do you mean? We've hardly got started yet!"

Disclaimer: I'm pg with my first so don't know if these work wink

whyismymindblank Sun 26-Aug-12 09:16:12

grin particularly like no.2!

PurplePidjin Sun 26-Aug-12 09:26:55

Now you need to practice endlessly in front of a mirror so you can launch it at the next rude twat person to comment grin

Pochemuchka Sun 26-Aug-12 09:34:24

I'm only pregnant with DC3 so not a 'larger' family but the comments for me have already started, especially as I already have a boy and a girl. A couple of people have said things like 'don't you know when to stop?' hmm 'you already have one of each, you don't need any more' and other such charming things.
Depending on who has said it I vary my response.
I quite like embarrassing the offender with 'yes, I just love making babies and let's face it the results are great!'
I think people think they're being funny and original.

Madlizzy Sun 26-Aug-12 09:37:56

"Well, we don't have a telly, so we need to do something in the evenings"

Melindaaa Sun 26-Aug-12 09:41:25

I have five and get lots of comments, almost always positive. Most comments are about the twins fighting in the shopping trolley or the constant chitter chatter that follows me arund. I usually just smile at people at say 'ha ha, just be thankful you aren't our neighbours!'.

I have 5 and when I was preg the last time I had numerous people say "don't you have a telly?" My reply "yes, it's on my bedroom wall"
That shut them up!

Congratulations! Try and ignore them. I know it's hard though!

Just found out I'm having number 6. TOTAL shocker. Gawd knows what I'll hear this time hmm

Shellywelly1973 Sun 26-Aug-12 16:33:59

Say nothing back&smile...

I have 5dc...

whyismymindblank Mon 27-Aug-12 09:45:56

Pochemuchka yes, they're the kind of comments I had when pg last time (dc 1 & 2 are a boy & girl, so obv why should I want any more?!). Been asked if I need contraceptive advice etc.

Melindaaa you're right, lots of people have lovely reactions - it's just the few, thankfully smile

NotShort congratulations!

wasabipeanut Mon 27-Aug-12 09:53:15

Comments we had when announcing third pregnancy.

"Haven't you guys heard of contraception?"

"Was it a lovely little accident?"

My MIL said recently we were bring greedy having 3! I didn't even think 3 was a big family. I was genuinely a bit put out by the number of people, including a couple of midwives on routine appointments, who assumed it was an unplanned pregnancy.

I like Pidjins millionaire comment and will be testing I next time someone says something snarky!

ledkr Mon 27-Aug-12 10:02:56

When I was pg with no five at 43 I had a lot of are you mad etc. One day I snapped and said "why because im pregnant with my new husbands baby at 43 after chemo yes fucking mental!"

twirliedobbit Wed 05-Sep-12 12:01:03

LOVE THESE
whyismymindblank I am in the same position as you and just know that my boss is going to say something - he always jokes about all the women not being allowed any more..(really is joking though) even though he has 4 himself, just need something to say back to his (admittedly witty) comment.
I like the millionaire one...

whyismymindblank Wed 05-Sep-12 21:55:20

At least your boss has 4 and is joking twirlie, this week mine told me about someone his wife works with who's got 4 and how he thinks that's unreasonable (having 4lots of mat leave...). Can't say I'm looking forward to telling him this time. He was ok about the first 3 though... Why is it that we're not allowed more than 2, 3 tops?

pickofthepops Wed 05-Sep-12 21:57:29

Cough and say well actually it's numbers 4,5 and 6. Three for the price of one.

peeriePistoriuslicker Wed 05-Sep-12 21:57:32

My friend has 3 girls under 4, and gets the "Haven't you got a telly" line. She said "Yes but I prefer shagging" last time someone trotted it out.

Nagoo Wed 05-Sep-12 22:17:03

'prefer shagging' grin <files for later use>

whyismymindblank Wed 05-Sep-12 22:17:05

yes! That's sooo what I'm going to say when I get the telly comment smile
pick that'd be good for a laugh, but I'd be worried there might end up being some truth in it!

mancmisses Fri 07-Sep-12 19:58:54

I have 9 andpregnant with 10 and 11. I just tell people I want an all girl footy team (I only have 1DS). or say it'sbetter than hiring a cleaner lol

surfingluby Thu 20-Sep-12 14:12:07

CONGRATULATIONS smile
I'm expecting number 4 and the comments flow but i absolutely love Melindaaa response: Just be thankful you aren't are neighbours!, I will use this all the time now smile love it!!!

NAR4 Thu 04-Oct-12 11:19:52

When we moved into our 3 bed semi, with 4 children and preg with no 5, our neighbour commented that he felt one of the bigger houses up the road would be more suitable than living next to him. My sister-in-law told him it was fine because the other children (who I don't really have) don't mind living in the tents in the garden when they are home from boarding school. After her comment I think he was just gratefull I didn't really have any more.

Love the comment about preferring shagging to telly. I will def use that one.

TakingTheStairs Mon 15-Oct-12 12:15:32

You could feign shock and say "oh shit, I didn't realise it was the law to only have two children"

or the old MN classic "did you mean that to sound so rude"

Haha I came on to give the millionaire line only to find it already in use!
My other response to 'why do you have so many children??' is 'just to irritate you'...

I have 4 who were under 5 until a month ago

Going around Asda the other day an old lady stopped to say how well behaved they were only to part with the classic '3 girls then a boy? At least you did the right thing at the end then..' wtf?!

Kaida Sat 20-Oct-12 19:12:23

In response to the tv question, I'd be tempted to tell them if they don't find sex more fun than watching tv they're doing something wrong...

Littleraysofsunshine Sat 20-Oct-12 20:25:24

I have two girls under two and I get the "oh make sure you get contraception now. You don't want to be pregnant again yet do you??? Like its a bad thing?! My girls are my world! And dp's! The people saying don't even have kids!angry

I'm also pg with #4. I have 3 boys so far, so don't get me started on the 'are you keeping going until you have a girl' comments (my answer to that is no, I'm not coleecting a set')

I often feel that people assume you are feckless with lots of children, whereas I have plenty of feck thank you very much. I just remind them I'm breeding tax payers, and they'll be glad of it when they try to claim a pension.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Sun 21-Oct-12 01:58:09

We have six (five boys and a girl)

We get a lot of comments, DH loves using the tv one 'wow don't you have a tv
.' 'yes but I prefer fucking my wife' they never argue with that one grin

Congrats on number 4!

I always tell people if they ask that my first few children were so incredibly amazing why wouldn't I want more? They don't usually argue with that either

I would never say this normally but if someone with 1/2/3 children was being really nasty about me having a big family I'd use the ' well I can totally understand why you couldn't cope with/ wouldn't want more' complete with a sneery look,but as I say that one is reserved for people who are being genuinely vicious

I think a lot of the time people don't think anything of it and are just making conversation, but yes it can get tedious

I just say, "yes, aren't I lucky?" And dare them to suggest otherwise. Because I'm very lucky.

MatureUniStudent Mon 24-Dec-12 22:40:32

I just used to pretend they wern't mine. That I was the childminder. Stopped the "Telly/Catholic/you must like sex/be a glutton for punishment/selfishly destroying the environment" comments. My favourite was the "selfish taking so much child benefit when I have no children/one child and have to pay for your children" when I would reply "well my four will make up for your not having chidlren/only having one when it comes to them working and paying for your pension in your old age".

It was rare and always so lovely to have people congratulate me on having a big family and saying how lovely it was to see them all together.

BlackholesAndRevelations Wed 26-Dec-12 08:10:29

Oh gosh I'm only newly pg with no 3 and am totally not looking forward to the comments about why would we want another (got a boy and a girl already).

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Sun 30-Dec-12 09:48:02

''Are you pregnant again?''

Response: yep I've no idea what's causing it.

Reaa Wed 02-Jan-13 00:05:05

We have 7 and I get the "don't you have a tv" comment a lot so I now reply "yes but we also have sky tv and its all repeats"

And my fav-I should at least be guaranteed one grandchild smile

Reaa Wed 02-Jan-13 00:06:51

I also get...oh you are so lucky I wish I could have that many, would love to have a large family like you.

lockets Wed 02-Jan-13 17:15:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Labro Fri 11-Jan-13 00:36:04

I'm youngest of 6 - growing up we had

are you catholic
are you more than one family
blimey your parents must have been at it like rabbits
didn't they have a telly

and the all time best one? My geography teacher asking me when I was 16 if there were any more of us (he'd taught all 6) then when I said no, I was the last, he looked at me and asked me if I was sure!!!

My mums favourite response was the football team one and that she fancied being looked after in her old age.

Sleepysand Mon 14-Jan-13 07:14:55

I have 4. I used to look people in the eyes and tell them we had lots of sex.

Re the ones who bang on about child benefits, and how I don't pay for their dog so why do they pay for my kids, I usually point out that one day my kids will pay for their healthcare and to let me know what their dog will be doing then.

NynaevesSister Mon 11-Feb-13 20:08:16

Is really interesting to come in here from single child forum to find more or less the same sorts of threads. Why do people feel this is their business? After I had my son I knew in my heart my family was complete. I expect it is the same if you have five or ten, surely? It was a surprise to me as growing up I was always sure I wanted a small family - just 4! Coming from 6 that seemed small to me.

Aethelfleda Tue 12-Feb-13 16:28:24

I've got three and the huge majority of people seem to think that the sole reason for having three was "to get a boy"...I know that is a whole other thread, but it is almost always followed by "ooh, but you're done now, aren't you!!" which is incredibly presumptive. People DO presume though, it's just human nature and gossip.

I'm amazed that so many people exclaim at me for having three. It's a drop in the ocean compared to six or seven, but any more than the person has themself is clearly a big deal. "wow, you've got your hands full"... I usually reply that it's fine cos I'm sending DD1 down the pit, DD2 up the chimney, and teaching DS (aged 1) to make the beds, so they bring in a good income....

CherryPie3 Thu 21-Feb-13 07:56:23

We have 3 children (2 boys, 1 girl)a nd live in a village where it's normal to stop at 1 or 2 at the most.

I have to say the only comments I have ever got are;

"you're so lucky, we would have loved to have more"

"what well behaved children you have"

"Will you be trying for another girl to balance it out?"

I can't complain with that really? xx

determinedma Tue 12-Mar-13 21:06:50

My sis has five. What is funny is that she has on brunette, one red head, one bottle blond,one mousey and one chestnut. She get s LOADS of comments.....

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