Did anyone keep going to get the opposite sex?

(35 Posts)
needsomesunshine Sun 17-Jun-12 10:22:41

How many did you get to before you got one of the other? I have 4 ds' , 5th on the way. People said the 5th would be a girl, now they're saying the 6th! I love my boys, I find them so loving but just wondered if people kept going. Some people say some people can only carry a certain gender. What do you think?

AdventuresWithVoles Sun 17-Jun-12 10:43:56

I think you will get charbroiled, lol.
I know several families IRL who I am sure kept going until they got the other.

needsomesunshine Sun 17-Jun-12 10:56:36

I know I hesitated when I posted but I get asked all the time!

I know a girl called Decima, she has 9 older brothers.

AdventuresWithVoles Sun 17-Jun-12 11:03:35

My grandmother did it, open-knowledge in the family. She wanted to give her husband a son. Got 3 drop-dead gorgeous DDs to boot, so worth the effort. wink

BoysWillGrow Sun 17-Jun-12 11:15:49

Not ashamed at all to say yes I did (kinda), we both wanted children but I come from a massive family of 6 who all had boys. I was the last girl born since the 80's and yeah I wanted a girl, after I had 2 boys (very, very much wanted btw) we are now expecting a girl and are delighted, As are the whole family, as we really are outnumbered. That's not to say we kept going or started out to have a girl, we just now feel for us 3 is enough and we have both sexes now and feel complete. Does no way at all go toward evening out our family which is roughly 15 men, 6 boys to 5 women and now my 1girl though. Just some families are for whatever reason prone to a certain sex. I think anyway.

Thinkingof4 Mon 18-Jun-12 16:00:00

I'm considering whether to go for no 4 and people always say ' are you trying for a girl?' etc
It's bizarre as you can only really try for another baby right? I always wonder though when I hear of mums who have 3 boys/ girls then no4 is a girl/ boy if they did do something different? It would be interesting to see if anything can actually tip the odds or whether it's just all innate, in that some people will be a mum to boys only/ girls only

sweetkitty Mon 18-Jun-12 16:37:02

No we didn't fully expected DD4 but got a DS. But oh the comments apparently we can stop now we have our boy. Have one aunt who phones and ask how DS is, then and the girls?

I am happy he's a boy as he's so to the DDs but would have been happy with another DD too

sweetkitty Mon 18-Jun-12 16:38:40

I am always tempted to say when people ask "were you trying for a boy" to say oh yes we were doing Shettles you know sex at time of ovulation, doggy style only, me coming before DP, is that what you meant?grin

Buntingbunny Mon 18-Jun-12 16:48:00

I wonder if my aunt and uncle did as their 4th is the only boy on that side of the family.

I know my DF didn't, her 4th was an absolute accident having never conceived naturally before.

TessTosterone Wed 20-Jun-12 19:30:42

I have 4 boys and will not be having any more. My mum knows someone who had 4 boys followed by triplet boys! I gave also heard of someone with 13 boys. Wonder what the record is!!!

Sunnydelight Fri 22-Jun-12 09:58:22

I remember a lecturer once in a genetics lecture explaining why the more of one sex you have the smaller the chances are of having one of the other sex but I can't remember the science behind it! Some years ago at school a mum of four girls and a mum of four boys were both pregnant with their fifth at the same time - it was girl no. 5 and boy no. 5, probably not helped by all the people who thought it was funny to say "why don't you swap".

chipmonkey Wed 04-Jul-12 00:20:32

We did although of course we knew it was 50:50 and I think, Sunny, statistically it is 50:50 and I did plenty of research!
We had dd after four boys and then she died aged 7 weeks.sad And I know a lot of people felt very sorry for us that "the girl" had died but it's not actually like that when it happens. Losing a child will always be awful and it wouldn't have been any better had we lost one of the boys.

needsomesunshine Fri 06-Jul-12 10:10:39

Sorry to hear that chipmonkey. You're right. People make so many comments. Just need to ignore more!smile

imip Fri 06-Jul-12 22:35:49

No, with 4dds I always get asked. It annoys me as often people say things like, you didn't get your boy, is your husband upset etc. I get very cross as my daughters can hear what they are saying and it concerns me that they may feel like they are not wanted. we had had no preference regarding gender. I am sorry to hear about your daughter, chip monkey. We lost dd1 and have actually had five dds. When I feel people give me too much 'sympathy' for having dds, I often tell them about our first daughter, a living child is the only child we wanted.the next question then is, 'when are you going to have another'.....

chipmonkey Sat 07-Jul-12 01:22:15

Oh, that really bugs me, imip when people say the most stupid things right in front of the boys! I actually stopped going to one barber because the woman in there kept going on about how she was trying for a girl and was I trying for a girl blah, blah, blah. Luckily the barber himself always managed to say that in his opinion boys were the best! But the number of times I wanted to say, they have a Y chromosome, it doesn't mean they're deaf!

And I'm so very sorry about your dd1. It is awful when you have that missing child who should be there in your family. I always say I am a Mum of five, although sometimes when I have explained the story I wonder if I should.

slipperandpjsmum Sat 07-Jul-12 08:52:15

When people ask me how many dcs I have I say three boys and a girl, they often reply kept trying for a girl did you? Actually my dd is one of my middle children, so no.

My friend had 6 boys and the last couple of pregnancies were about getting a girl, which she did on her 7th child.

Need are you going to keep trying for a dd?

jellybeans Sat 07-Jul-12 22:26:03

One of my family members kept trying for a DD and had 5 DSs. I had 3 DDs first but sadly DD3 was stillborn. I then had DTs (boys) then lost another stillborn DD and then had DS. I didn't care about the gender as long as they survived but it is nice to experience both. I have friends who were desperate for girls and got them 3rd time and 4th time. I know 2 families desperate for boys too, each had a boy as no 4. I think hoping for the other is fine but as long as you accept it may well bethe same again and that is OK.

Janus Fri 13-Jul-12 19:52:54

We had 3 girls and then number 4 was a boy and a total shock as we didn't find out before he was born!! I have a larger gap between dd2 and dd3 and I didn't want dd3 to be on her own so we decided to round the numbers up!! I really didn't mind which we had but a little part of me wanted a boy for my husband although he never once said he wanted one! We were tempted for a little while to try for number 5 but we are now stopping. We did nothing different to get our boy btw!

mrsmopsmissingmojo Fri 20-Jul-12 16:14:25

I have 4 ds and 1 dd and lost a few in between. The ones i lost based on complete irrationality I thought were all girls. My pgs with all the boys felt ever so poorly. Dd I breezed through pg and felt really well. She's a feisty madam and stubborn. I always have wondered what the others would have been, as they happened on between each ds?! But who knows!!! I love all of them equally but in hindsight ds are much easier emotionally, but muddier! grin

mumoftwoboysS Sun 02-Sep-12 23:25:50

I have 2 DS's which I love so much, though for some reason before I had kids I always imagined having a girl (even dreamt my first was going to be a girl) maybe because I'm quite girly and thought I'd relate to a girl more. I now want a DC3 (though have to convince DH first!), initially I thought it was because I wanted to try for a DD but tbh I don't actually think I mind either way now. The child's personality is what makes them wonderful and I really wouldn't mind if I had another DS, I just want another child! I know if I do become pregnant again the comments (mostly from well-meaning relatives) will be 'so are you trying for a girl'.

beingginger Sat 15-Sep-12 22:12:53

my stepdads sister had 13 girls before she got her son! I can NOT imagine having 14 children, can you imagine the noise?!
eldest dd is 36 and ds is 9. She's an irish catholic if that makes any difference though.

5madthings Sat 15-Sep-12 22:18:13

i have 4 boys and then no 5 was a girl but no we didnt keep going until we got a girl, we always planned to have 4 and no 5 was a bit of a bonus baby, i fully expected her to be a boy and had a boys name picked out etc. my boys are delighted with their little sister and it is lovely to have a girl but a boy would have been just as lovely!

i am tyring to ignore my broodiness at the moment, dd is 21mths, we cant afford any more, but if we win the lottery i would have another!

i try and ignore all the stupid comments.

((chipmonkey)) xx

naturalbaby Mon 17-Sep-12 14:04:56

I'm trying to ignore my broodiness too, I've got 3 boys and am surrounded by a few mums with 3 boys. If I had another it would be about having an even number.
There was a program on channel 4 a few years ago called "8 boys and trying for a girl" or similar. The mother's tears when she found out she was having another boys really sticks in my mind, and I felt really sorry for the boys of the mum who was over the moon with when she had a daughter.

surfingluby Thu 20-Sep-12 13:32:19

This subject always gets me going as i feel so strongly about it but it might be because its easy for me to say as i have 2 DD and a DS but My DPs sister has three boys and all she's ever wanted is a girl, she rejected her second as soon as he came out and she realised it was a boy yet she still went on to try for a girl. She shows no affection towards them and makes it obvious she wants a girl. She was emotional through her pregnancies making it clear she wanted a girl. All her boys are extremely naughty. Don't get me wrong, she's a good mum, her boys are always clean and well looked after but fothem looking on there's no affection! She is now talking of trying for number 4 which I have no idea why because how awful will it be for them if they have another boy! It's so sad :-(
Yet I have a friend who has 4 boys which she will openly admitt she only has due to her trying for a girl and it wouldn't surprise me if she tried again but she absolutely loves all of them! They are a credit to her, well behaved, well manned and well loved :-)
There is a mum at my DCs school who I only know to say hello to so I don't know the facts but she has 3 very naughty boys and had a girl about 8 months ago, she said she was desperate for a girl and you can tell......everything revolves around her, she buys her everything pink, beautiful pram, always pretty dressed yet her boys are a mess! I can't help feeling sorry for her boys so I really think you have to be careful about what you want!
I think if you are completely happy with the gender you have then by all means keep trying for the opposite but it your not happy with the gender you have then don't risk having any more as I really believe my DP sisters boys feel unloved and that's why they are all so naughty :-(
Such a hard subject :-( good luck what ever you decide to do :-)

surfingluby Thu 20-Sep-12 13:36:33

naturalbaby I remember that program, I watched it with my DP, his sister and her husband.....at the time she was pregnant and she had 2 DS. Watching it was when it all came to light why she was the way she was with her boys and that pregnancy as she was desperate for a girl. Like you I felt awful for the boys, it stuck in my mind too.......awful to watch, even more awful in reality :-(

Haribojoe Thu 20-Sep-12 13:37:20

I always wanted to have 4 DC and after having 3 DS I spent the whole of my fourth pregnancy expecting to welcome DS number 4 into the fold.

Imagine my surprise when I gave birth to DD! Nearly 6 months later it still hasn't sunk in.

Didn't do anything different when TTC and no real difference in my pregnancy.

deleted203 Sat 29-Sep-12 05:00:27

I didn't need to. I was so organised my kids go DD,DS,DD,DS,DD - yeah, I know....nothing to do with me grin

LimeLeafLizard Sat 29-Sep-12 14:34:56

Fascinating thread. I have 3 lovely boys and am pg with DC4 which we have just been told (at the scan) is a girl. We're still a bit in shock tbh, because we somehow expected another boy. I'm delighted though.

DH and I have always hoped to have 4DC, so we weren't 'keeping going until we had a girl'... we'd have stopped after this pregnancy either way.

Reading this thread reminds me yet again how lucky we are to have healthy DC... so many people have experienced loss or can never have a child at all.

Oh, and no, we didn't do anything different this time!

SweetKitty - your Shettles response made me grin - I might try that if I get particularly grumpy by the end of this pg!

needsomesunshine Mon 01-Oct-12 04:04:43

Thanks for your responses.v.interesting reading. I think life would have been harder if my last born had been a girl but it is strange sometimes being the only girl in the house. I gave to keep an eye in the ds' & some of the Comments they make as I have realised they know absolutely nothing about girls. I am seriously considering adopting a couple of girls when they are older. My body, mind & bank budget couldn't take anymore at the mo though smile

Cadmum Mon 01-Oct-12 04:21:41

My aunt had a near breakdown when her fourth son was born. She refused to name or feed him. They did not go on to try for another baby but she doted on me (only girl in my generation). I always felt sorry for my cousins as it was obvious that they were less 'wanted'.

We had the opposite reaction when expecting db3 because we already had one of each and my family thought we were insane for wanting more with both genders represented. (Wait until they hear about db#5 since we already have 2 of each.)

FrankieMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 01-Oct-12 04:36:09

I actually only have two children, one girl and one boy....... but my children's father had 2 sons from a previous relationship. From some of his friends and many of his family, I was 'hassled' and expected to 'give' then DH a daughter hmm as our PFB had been 'another' boy.
My ExMiL was really a pain in the neck persistent in her opinions through out my pregnancy with DD. It had been mistakenly revealed to me that I was having a girl earlyish in the pregnancy, and I took childish delight in not putting her mind at ease that she was going to get the grand daughter she though I 'owed' her son.

I know this doesn't answer your question as I was not the mother of all three existing sons, but flippin heck.. I took some nagging for being responsible for not only the apparent 'failing' of my own body's ability to produce a daughter, but another womans also grin
I knew it was all my fault........... ( I am also responsible for the chinese foreign policy, crime figures in outer London and the fact that Wagon wheels are half the size that they were in the good old days)

Although my DSS's aren't mine, there is such a vast richness to the personalities of each of them and my own son, that if DD had been another boy, he would have brought his own delight into our lives.

It's a funny old world..........

needsomesunshine Mon 01-Oct-12 05:03:18

Frankie that is so true about wagon wheelsgrin
Every time my mil sees me she says ' you need a girl.' My dh thought our friend had a girl after 4 boys and he was gutted.i was shocked at his reaction tbh but made me realise how desperate he was. I do not want to put my body through having anymore.

waferhappy Sat 08-Dec-12 20:14:34

I had a son then two girls then I knew I wanted four and he was a boy perfect of course I'd of been happy with what ever sex though

notallytuts Tue 11-Dec-12 16:58:04

i have a friend who is currently pregnant with her fourth boy, and openly admits she will keep going until she gets a girl

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