3 or 4 year age gap?

[Lena3]

Hi girls,

I am new here but started reading the boards recently. I am after a bit of advice.
I have 2 year old twins from ivf and 4 frozen embrios left. After thinking about it for ages I decided that I just can't left them perish. I am planning on taking them to day 3 or 5 and then having ONE put back. If it works then great if it doesn't that's it - we are done!
But the question is when. For many reasons I want to have the treatment over summer so it would be this year or next.
I am just not sure what would be best. I know it would be easier if the twins were 3 and in preschool for 3 mornings a week when I am pregnant and then 4 and at school when the baby is here as I would have another 2 years to spend as much time as possible with them and then some one to one time with the baby.
But on the other hand wouldn't it be nice for them to spend a year with the baby before going to school and get bonded and in the future wouldn't 3 years age gap mean they have more in common? Or would it be just a nightmare for the first year for everybody?
I am not worried about coping as I know I would (I have very good support and lots of help) just worried what would be best for the twins and the baby.
Anybody has any experience of 3 or 4 years age gap? I am worried that if I leave the gap too big the baby won't have much in common with the twins (especially as being twins they are very very close and do most things together).
We also do travel quite a lot as a family so they would be spending lots of time together and it would be easier for us if they were interested in the same things.
But I also would quite like to wait another year and just enjoy the twins and then the baby.

Really don't know what to do.....

Love

Lena xx

[slushy06]

I don't have twins but I have a three year age gap. Ds pg a nightmare mostly in hospital, However I found on dd pg because ds was there when I felt ill and like wallowing I just got up because I had too and the pain went away.

I like a three year gap I don't find it hard (but then I am not risking 4 under 3) I liked the fact that ds was not at school as I felt it gave me quality time to prepare him and enjoy it being just us. Find he was old enough to understand but not old to get overly jealous.

this is just mo and ob cant comment on the other age gap. Hope it goes well whatever you decide (btw I don't think I would want to leave embryo frozen either)

[Lena3]

Hi Slushy,
Thank you so much for your reply. I am still thinking what would be the best and in fact now DH is having doubts whether to try again at all.

Love

Lena xx

[PrettyCandles]

You're over-thinking it, really. Your twins will bond with their little sib no matter whether they are at home, nursery, or school.

Whatever age gap you end up with you will inevitably have a family of 2+1, but the dynamics change constantly. Gender and personality affect the dcs' relatinships, as does the oportunity for each twin to play alone with the younger sib.