How to persuade 2 year old to let me BF new baby??

[PacificDogwood]

Any words of wisdom much appreciated.

DS4 is expected in March when DS3 will be exactly 24 months old.
With approaching date of delivery I am getting more and more worried how on earth I am going to be able to BF DS4 whilst DS3 is still a total and utter mummy's boy: not only must I be in the same room as him (that I can manage), I have to literally do everything with him ie play with Duplo, watch him eat, sit on the bottom step with him. All v endearing but gah....!
BTW, he was BF to 13 months.

DS1 and 2 were only 12 months apart and DS2 was premature so for various reasons I exclusively expressed for him which, if nothing else, made life much more predictable. Also DS1 was Mr Independent and much more inclined to let me get on with it. DS1 and 2 are now almost 7 and 6, understand the whole new baby thing and were brilliant even when DS3 came along, so I have no concerns how they will cope (them being in school helps too ).

I have fed with baby in a sling before but only v occasionally and really did not like it. I am not somebody BFing comes easily to, particularly in the first few months as I have always had supply issues.
I am fully prepared to use CBeebies to its full potential and am preparing a "special toys/treats" bag which will only come out when I am BFing.

Any other ideas?? Please somebody have a magic easy-peasy solution for this . My unborn child's lifelong health depends on you all ..

[teaandcakeplease]

Bump

Thought I'd bump your message for you back into active, in the hope one of the MN will have some tips for you. I'm a amateur with only 2 kiddies I would say on this

[PacificDogwood]

Thanks for that

Might just take my query to BFing where should have probably posted in the first place ...

[NewnameSameoldme]

Do you have family nearby or someone that can take him out and make him feel important and 'big'?
Not sure but once the baby is here I think he might understand on some level that you can't be at his beck and call all the time.
Maybe talk to him about it and practise asking him to do helpful things for you like passing that muslin over there or bringing you stuff?

Do not be afraid to use the telly as a 'treat' to make feeds easier for you. You can also get him to sit next to you and hold a book for you to read to him.
Good luck!

[PacificDogwood]

I am planning on using the childminder a couple of days a week, particularly in the first few weeks.
No family nearby, no, and DH works long and at times antisocial hours, much as he is a very hands on dad, bless him!

I am aware that I have not talked to DS£ half as much about the baby in mummies tummy as I did with the older ones when he was expected. I think that is partially due to the fact that he is much younger, he speaks next to no words although his comprehension is very good, and he is so jealous even if I have one of the older ones on my lap. Not that that happens very often, of course, but if I do, he'll come and try to shove them off or hit them ! He is a shocking hitter/kicker/thrower when angry or frustrated anyway...

How much can a toddler grow up in 2 1/2 months ??

[LongStory]

Hi - I was really worried about this with a shortish gap between my first two. Turned out fine - bought Ds1 a garage with cars and he played with it for hours while I bf. It helps that he is OCD.

Must admit that he did get a bit jealous sometimes, so occasionally I gave him the other side to keep him quiet . Whenever I've been pg I've also withdrawn some of my attention from the others a few months before the birth, so that it doesn't feel like such a shift when a new one (or two!) arrives.

[PacificDogwood]

LongStory, at 2 babies!

I know it'll be fine - but just cannot see it yet.
How much can a toddler grow up in 2 months?? It's the fact that there is no reasoning with him yet, the temper tantruming when I do not jump to his attention and the need to have my physical near at all times, that worry me. And I have done it all before, but cannot remember how!?

As to offering him the other side, I cannot imagine him going for it - I suspect I will get a face from him, LOL! But, hey, you never know, I will bear it in mind...

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Hi pacific
Could you buy him his own baby? A doll (boy or girl) he can care for, wash, change nappy, rock to sleep and even breastfeed!

There is a photo somewhere of my mum leaving a hospital carrying my new brother wrapped in a shawl knitted by my nana with me toddling along behind holding my own 'baby' wrapped in a matching shawl knitted by my nana

If he gets his own baby when the new baby appears he can copy you and feel that he is taking part in 'important stuff'

[PacificDogwood]

Laura, that's a great idea!
The baby was going to bring him his own pram to push his favorite soft toy in - but maybe it should come complete with baby doll... now, how to sell this idea to DH who is already at the idea of his son pushing a buggy, neanderthal macho that he is

[LauraIngallsWilder]

Ahhh macho dh..........

Well what about a teddy bear with lots of daily needs that need to be cared for?

Dd is 5 and dotes on a teddy that is roughly newborn baby sized. Harry has clothes he wears in the daytime. At bedtime dd strips him and puts him in his pj's. Regularly during the day she will say that he has wet his nappy (she shows me the contents!) changes him and puts a new outfit on him.

For outings she often takes him along in a scarf that is the right width and length for her to wear as a sling (over one shoulder and knotted at her waist or wrap style for when teddy wants to sit up!)

She has a bunkbed - at night time she puts him to bed in his hammock, another scarf tied to the underside of the top bunk as a swinging hammock. Honoured guests to her room are allowed to gently rock him as he sleeps!

Hours of purposeful play

[baskingseals]

hi, I have 23mths between ds1 and 2, and was also really worried about the impact of a new baby - also have dd who is 7. Ds2 now nearly 5 months, and honestly hasn't been as awful as I thought.

Imho the main thing is to focus on toddler when baby is asleep, nothing ambitious - tickle fights, dens with sofa cushions, bubble blowing, try to have alot of physical contact.

Save cbeebies for breastfeeding, Only put it on then. Also get some books that you caread together while bfing. All 3 of you will end up snuggling on the sofa togther. Allow toddler to still be a baby - ds1 still has a bottle.

IGNORE housework. Hard but it really isn't important as those first few months with your baby

Save cbeebies for breastfeeding, Only put it on then. . My HV told me to use my child benefit to pay for a cleaner, and I've finally overcome my guilt issues and done it and now wish I'd done it ages ago.

Just enjoy them all, but don't agonise over it. They are fine, they will be fine.

[navyeyelasH]

Read him a book as you breastfeed? I've never breastfed s don't know how practical that is?