My god.... why does every person i meet feel the need to say 'You've got your hands full'?!

[PinkTulips]

i only have three for flips sake!

and one is a newborn!

so far today have had these comments;
'you've got your hands full'
'quite a handful'
'you're being kept busy'
'wow you've got lots of little people' (that guy might have been stoned )

i had ds2 in a sling and he was fast asleep and dd and ds1 were being good as gold, it's not like they were tearing around causing chaos. so why on earth does everyone feel the need to comment?

[Ledodgy]

Oh I get this too they're just trying to make conversation/be nice and tbh I have got my hands full.

[IwishIwasmorechocolatey]

Just smile and say, "yes, but I wouldn't want it any other way!"

It's nice when people try to make conversation but can be a bit samey sometimes!

[MrsMerryHenry]

Um...because they lack imagination?

When I saw this in Active Convos I assumed that you had more than 6, in which case a more imaginative response might be: 'You must have a fanjo like a bucket!'.

Three is nothing. Let them eat cake. Oh, and have some yourself, while you're at it!

[PinkTulips]

oh i know it's well intentioned but it seems to be the only phrase i hear all day and all 3 of them are generally quite good when we're out... i'd understand it more if they were being nightmares!

cake sounds good

[PuppyMonkey]

This is an old fashioned thing you occasionally come across these days called "being friendly." Try not to worry about it too much.

[Ivykaty44]

Would you rather they said

What a crap job you are doing there
goodness you had to many dc
crikey you need to have a few more children and pay my pension young lady



They are trying to say - goodness what a lot you how hard you must work through the day with three little ones, they are apreciating how much you do and trying to make you feel that people notice the work you do

[MakeHayNotWar]

I had the same on a train recently with my two preschoolers. A very kind, well intentioned lady drove me crazy from helping me take their coats off (they can do it themselves) to constantly asking if I wanted her to go to the buffet car for me (the DC need to be walked up and down the train from time to time so, no).

All the while he kept saying ' my aren't you brave travelling alone with them like this'. It was a 3 hour journey for f's sake. I was fine.

[juuule]

They are trying to be nice and commenting on how they understand how difficult it can sometimes be with young children.

And I don't think anyone would deny that there are times with children (regardless of how many) when you do have your "hands full". Multiply that by how ever many you have with you at the time and you should be able to understand why people might make that comment. A bit boring sometimes, maybe, but understandable and not bad getting some recognition for the difficult times even if they are all behaving at the particular moment the comment is made.

[PinkTulips]

would positive comments not further the friendliness cause further though?

commenting on the fact that dd opens doors for me to get through, or that they fetch things in shops for me, or that they're all smiling and cheerful would have gone down better!

it always feels like they're implying i'm not quite coping when they say things like that....

possibly still hormonal and reading too much into it though

[procrastinatingparent]

I breezily respond in kind with the clichéd, 'Keeps me out of mischief!' and move on quickly.

[ManicMother7777]

Oh dear I think I have said that kind of thing! Usually because I'm full of admiration. Honestly. And I feel stressed with only 2!

[mumof3tobe]

I got those comments when I just had DD and DS was not even 2. That's only 2 kids, people now aday's assume we should be having 1 or 2 at the most and we can't cope with more.
I do try breezily respond as well but it does get a bit monotonous. Since we have moved to Canada I don't get the same remarks cos I don't know many people.

[mumof3tobe]

forgot to add that i'm pregers with #3 and going home for Christmas so i'll see what response I get with a DS 5, DD 3 and a 4 month old.

[piximon]

I'm always getting these comments. I have 5 and they are also usually well behaved. Technically I had my hands full when I had two and I wish people would say something else but I guess it's just the first thing that comes to mind. It's sometimes not said in a particularly friendly way so I associate it negatively. I'm all for making conversation with people though. Recently I could have kissed an old dear who told me my dcs were a credit to me and we have another old lady who always says lovely things. They make my day.

I upset someone once by answering back "better full than empty". It was literally the tenth time I'd heard it that morning and I was having an especially bad day. But afterwards I wondered if maybe the lady couldn't have dcs and it played on my mind for ages. So I usually keep quiet now.

I have to say I was appalled once when a women was counting the dcs and said "5, that's a bit excessive".

[littlelamb]

I get this and I only have 2! And pixi, your dd's were a credit to you the other day My dd has the red next dress yours was wearing, and she begged me to iron it (has been crumpled in a drawer since Christmas) for her as soon as we got home so she could put it on

[GodzillasSpringFever]

Hmm. i have three too, but thinking about it, i do rather admire people who cope with three or more who are closer in age (large age gap between my kids)...i know i would be tearing my hair out no matter how angelic they were

Mind you, i wouldn't be daft enough to say so after all the 'ooo look double trouble' comments!

[mrsblanc]

It's a nice thing to say

[PinkTulips]

lostinfrance. you're right, io do often have baby sick on my back

[estar]

With my first three very close together, I used to get this about ten times a day. I didn't mind it - I always took it as 'Wow, that looks like an amazing thing to do but you're still out, so you must be coping well' People usually accompanied it by a look of awe so I took it as a compliment.

Now I do sometimes get irritated - they are older and generally well behaved in public, so when people say it, accompanied by a look of horror, I don't like it as much. It just makes me assume that person must have a generally weak disposition.

Always nice when people say it with a smile though.

And Pixi, LMAO at 'we have another old lady who always says lovely things'. Have a mental image of you having a stressful day and going to the cupboard where you keep her, and opening the door just to hear her say something encouraging to you

[izzybiz]

Someone said that to me when I was pregnant with my 3rd, "wow your'e going to have your hands full!"

Not really, my eldest is 16! The next one is 4!! Not quite like having 3 under 5 or something is it!!!

[sorkycakey]

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[sorkycakey]

shit...sorry bout that that's a 2yo for you.
I was about to reply and got distracted.
I only realised he'd posted when he announced "there all done".

i clearly do have my hands full

[numptysmummy]

I usually say the other 3 are with at home. I guess people who have 1 or 2 because they couln't handle more must find it hard to understand.