Do you think I could get away with not telling anyone I was pg?

[sorkycake]

I'm thinking here about PIL, the comments will not be worth it, rolling of eyes, tutting, glutton for punishment comments (never accompanied by a Congratulations btw)

My family know we are ttc no.4 and MN obv. Some people at work know, but we haven't said anything to PIL.

Do you know what, I'm going to wait until they notice I'm pg

[minipinkscottish]

Hi sorkycake!! You wont be able to keep it a secret for long - not with number 4. And why should you anyway - big families are great xxx
xx mum of 5 and pg due in July - some people are cruel and make remarks but why should you care if you and your dh and dc's are happy that's all that matters.

Congratulations - enjoy!!

[pedilia]

congratulations- I am pg with number 4 and for a variety of reasons (some of which you have listed) I kept quiet.

I told people when I was 5 months although I could have kept quiet for longer!

[sorkycake]

Ooh no I'm not pg yet, I'm trying now. I'll come back in a couple of weeks

Congrats to you two anyhoo!! Lucky things

[AlwaysTheMummy]

wow Sorkycake you had me thinking you were pg then

I may have the same kinda thing with dc3, we aren't using any contraception at the minute so could be pregnant and my 2nd child is only 13 weeks old, I know I will get a lot of negative comments but I don't really care.

Sending lots of pregnancy vibes xx

[PaulaYatesBiggestFan]

i love people wondering and actually seeing them wondering! good entertainment value!

[137wallis]

well i kept my last two quiet for the same reason, mil does not approve of our large family, and my sil was also trying to get pregnant, so me dh and I wanted to enjoy the pregnacy in secret for as long as possible, I didn't show until late luckily, (lots of mums at school hadnt even noticed I was preg so asked whoose baby I had when my 5th was born! )
but we told them at 20weeks with both so the other children had time to adjust, and both times sil was also preg!and had hers first, but they are still the favorites in our family do what ever feels right for your family,

[Nemoandthefishes]

sorky funny enough dh and I were having this conversation before and I think next time I get pg I will keep it quiet until at least 12wk scan as family reactions to no.3 were bad enough never mind no.4

[Cadmum]

I didn't even tell my own parents about #3 because they were so negative about the miscarriage between 2 and 3 that I couldn't bear the thought. They actually said r=that it was a blessing because dd1 was such a handful that I wouldn't have coped with a baby!

We live far enough away from our families that DH and I joked around about just mailing a birth announcement or having the baby cry down the phone line once db4 was born.

I do have a rather complicated Ob history so I could always use that as an excuse for not telling people before it becomes obvious...

[ChristinePlushPants]

We've never kept it a secret, mind you dd4 wasn't entirely planned (then again the only one we totally planned was dd1, the rest just kind of "happened" luckily for us). Every child is a blessing, whether your first child or your fourth, whether planned or unplanned, and it's a shame if the prospective grandparents can't just get excited about the prospect of another grandchild. If my kids have lots of kids, I'll be over the moon!

[pedilia]

Part of my reasons for not saying anything earlier was I just wasn't ready to cope with the inevitable comments about having a 4th child
Also because SIL and a friend both discovered they were pg at the same time and I didn't want to steal anyones thunder, they both had miscarriages which made it even harder for me to announce mine.

I also hate the way people change once you say you are pg, oh you shouldn't be doing that or this, or take it easy! I know it is meant well but I am not a blardy invalid!

Rant over

[sorkycake]

pedilia I know where you're coming from

Cadmum that's one of the most disgraceful things I think anyone could say to a woman, BUT YOUR MOTHER!

[Cadmum]

My mum is a real peach! She has gotten much better lately though...

[wherethewildthingsare]

Loads of people (some that I hardly know) have said 'that's enough now isn't it' when I had number 4 and theres a peverse part of me that wants to have number 5 just to see their faces! It's so rude when they're not sure whether to congratulate you or commiserate and then people start asking if the baby was planned! Sooo nosey!

[rowe]

i have 3 of my own and a step daughter but my friends and pil have said if we have any more theyll disown us i really want another aswell. so have tried a few times to miss the pil but to no evail

[tillergirl]

Oh I can so relate to this...

Pretty sure that I'm expecting #4, as of yesterday.

My mum's reaction when I told her I was expecting #3 was 'oh no !' (although she loves them all to bits now)

I'm wondering how long I can hold off...

[Lola234]

its not something you could hide. sooner or later you will have to say it

[MindingMum]

I managed to not tell most people until 25 weeks with DC5.

My mum didn't want me to have more than one as she thought it was 'unnecessary' and PIL thought big families are a bit common

It's a lovely feeling keeping a secret that long especially when you break the news to family who are less than supportive. I loved saying "Im 25 weeks now, we had told our friends that we knew would be pleased for us earlier"

The look on their sour faces

[alysonpeaches]

My mum started all this when I was pg with my second. I didnt speak to her for months after she said "How did that happen?" rather than congratulations.