If you're a SAHM..

(16 Posts)
Aoibhe Sun 21-Aug-16 10:07:54

How much, if any, outside help do you have?

If your OH works FT, how do you manage things like one child having a doctors appointment, etc?

AliBingo Sun 21-Aug-16 10:31:34

I've only got three kids but no outside help, DH works long hours so I have to take all three to doctor and hospital appointments, which can be tedious when they're running late.

OneArt Sun 21-Aug-16 10:33:34

When I was a SAHM with 3 DC under four I had no outside help. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have any though if you can afford it!

Zippidydoodah Sun 21-Aug-16 19:34:57

Try and take them when the others are at school/preschool....obviously doesn't work when it's the oldest who needs an appointment, or if it's an emergency one. I just make sure I have plenty of snacks, a toy each and some colouring for them to do in the waiting room.

Zippidydoodah Sun 21-Aug-16 19:35:55

Oh and the little one is always in tow! smile

Aoibhe Mon 22-Aug-16 09:36:19

We are considering a DC4 and currently, if very stuck I ask my mum or mil, which is not often at all, maybe once each every few months. I know in my heart that neither of them like being asked since we had #3, which is understandable, so I wouldn't even dream of asking at all if there was to be a 4th.
Jumping way ahead of myself, but what do you do if you have an antenatal appointment yourself?

I'm thinking that I could advertise for an occasional childminder?

AliBingo Mon 22-Aug-16 10:22:31

I'm in same boat actually, thinking of a 4th. Left the oldest two with Mil for the first time a month ago, I had an out of hours emergency hospital appointment and she slept over and listened out for the oldest two, we had to take the 10 month old with us though.

So I haven't really got anyone I could leave the three with. If we do go for number 4 I'll just take the three of them with me to all the appointments apart from the scans when I'll have to ask DH to take time off.

When DC3 was born she had been breech so needed a hip ultrasound at a few weeks old, I just took the older two with me. It's a pain especially with tantrummy toddlers but it can be done if you have to.

imip Mon 22-Aug-16 17:32:27

I have 4, currently aged between 4-9. We have no outside support and until recently Dh worked ft and I stayed at home. One of our dd has ASD, another hypermobility and I have a bloody plethora of appointments, coordinating them between school and nursery pickups has always been challenging.

We have OT X 2 for ASD and JHS, clinical psych, physio. then the usual run of apps, but my dd with ASD also need to go to the dentist every 3 months. I would take my youngest dd with me. Tbh, it did get too much, and I really got waiting room depression! I got sick of bloody waiting for appointments.

In the last couple of months, Dh has resigned from work, we are taking the summer off and then trying to start a business together to give us the flexibility to handle these appointments. Hopefully it all works out! Dd really struggles with most elements of her life at the moment, and oUr hypermobile dd has a few physical limitations (and physio exercises that we need to do). I realise this is a little more than the usual run of appointments, but when I didn't have Dh around, school would let me take all dcs off school to get to an appointment or let them sit in the office if I was running late. They were pretty good at helping me out when the unexpected happened!

Btw, I've always taken dcs to antenatal appointments!

anonnnnnn3366 Mon 22-Aug-16 17:40:58

I am a single mum of 4 (13,11,9 and 2) I have been a single mum for 8 years (since the 3 oldest were 5,3,1)

I have no outside help, I do everything by my self including any diy, repairs, taking kids to clubs, appointments etc

And u get no financial help from there dads either

Tippytoes13 Sat 27-Aug-16 22:06:57

I have three children and we have no outside help, sometimes my dad helps at a push, but being older it's harder for him. Doctors appointment I try to schedule whilst one is at school and just take the two, I have taken all three before though.

PeppasNanna Tue 30-Aug-16 01:04:18

I have 6 dc. No outside help or help from family.

I avoid doing anything that isn't absolutely necessary...
My smear is 9 months over due but theres not much i can do!

Buttwing Tue 30-Aug-16 16:27:32

I have 4 (11,5,2 and1) My mum is fab and will have them if I have a docs app or will take three of them if one has an appointment. If she's not been able to have them we all go or sometimes if I can schedule appointments around lunchtime dp can nip home as he works really close by.

Itsgreatwith8 Wed 31-Aug-16 13:10:45

I have 8 kids aged 14 to 2. Live overseas so no family but try to get dh to work at home, drop a few with neighbours or at a pinch take them all along! So much easier now older one might watch middle ones if need to pop out to buy milk etc with only younger ones in tow. Rewind a few years and it was carnage when we ran out of milk - taking 6 or 7 kids to the supemarket is noones idea of fun! But we survived smile

onemouseplace Wed 31-Aug-16 13:17:50

3 DC here, no outside help or family here either. I just try and schedule stuff for when I have as few children as possible (much easier now eldest two are both at school). And take all of them if I can't manage any other way - today I have haircuts for the eldest two this afternoon, but they are now one after the other rather than at the same time so that is going to be fun!

One tip is to ask for help and offer help if you can! I got into a real mindset of thinking that as I chose to have 3 children, I should be able to manage without any help so I never asked and people stopped offering. Other friends have now got into reciprocal arrangements and I've rather fallen by the wayside due to my own pride, which is rather ridiculous really.

onecurrantbun1 Thu 01-Sep-16 12:15:14

My husband has flexitime so we are very lucky that he can take DD1 to her swimming lesson at 4pm on a Tuesday, saves me trying to keep to younger two quiet poolside. Our doctors are very helpful too and let me have my smear test at 8am one mornjng so he could have the kids and go in half an hour late.

My mum is a couple of miles away but I tend not to ask if I can help it - was a wonderful help when DD3 was in hospital with a virus as a newborn though.

I have a close group of friends and have often had their kids for a few hours plus I had one D.C. overnight for my friend who got married . They haven't ever had to reciprocate yet so hopefully I'm banking a few favours!

When Dd3 was first born we had a cleaner for a couple of hours a week. We also have a lawn mower man and a window cleaner. Our kids are 4.5, 2.5 and 6m.

isittheholidaysyet Mon 21-Nov-16 23:53:25

I have little outside help, except school mums, but DH sets his own work timetable so can be free with enough notice.

However, it's usually a case of bringing everyone along!

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