Having a fifth baby?

[PrincessIrene]

We have had a lapse in contraception this month, part stupidity and part choice if we're honest. We already have 4 children aged 2-9 and both work, DH full time and I part time. We can afford another baby, though we had said we wouldn't have one. Now that the possibility is here (I haven't tested yet but I'm a planner so I like to have an idea of whether it's workable or not) I don't know if we could/should go ahead.

Pros -
Can fit one in
Can afford
Can take mat leave/pay
Don't find 4 too difficult (yet)
Love squishy babies
Maternity leave (yay)!

Cons -
Just leaving the baby age and like the idea of a 'next chapter,' after babies!
DH not keen
Would be judged by every fucker imaginable.
Could impact on career long term.

So.. Is a fifth mental or not?

[Astrophe]

Your list of pros is longer and seems more enthusiastic than your cons...just saying :)

I'm expecting my 5th. The judgeyness has not been as bad as I anticipated, and anyway, you really mustn't let people's opinions be a factor in making a decision like this.

We will have a 5 year age gap between DC4 and DC5, and I have made feelings about going back to the baby stage. But a friend with a newborn was asking me a lot of questions the week- about what the DC were like as newborns, how many hours they slept, how often they fed etc etc and I had to answer so many with: "I honestly can't remember". It goes sooooo quickly!

Personally, I know that whatever else I may regret on my deathbed, it won't be my kids (even though they drive me mental much of the time!). So I say do it, absolutely :)

[Astrophe]

Made feelings = mixed feelings, sorry.

[sidonie1]

We decided to go for baby 4, as 2 & 3 were twins we originally were going to stick with 2, but never has the opportunity. Part of it was that feeling of 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. What's the difference between 3 or 4? But we are having twins again so will end up with 5 (under 4 for a few weeks!!).

Am absolutely terrified despite being ok with 4. I already have had lots of judgement - trying not to care but day in day out it does grind you down. Totally agree that shouldn't be a factor in your decision though.

I'm working contracts and freelance so no maternity - that's definitely an attractive part of your situation.

I'm not sure what my point is apart from 4 seemed like a good idea at the time (hormones?) and now I'm pregnant with 4 and 5 I'm really not feeling happy about the idea of 5 (probably hormones too).

It feels like a big step change - not sure exactly why but I think it feels like it tips the balance between 'normal', whatever that is, and 'massive family'!!

[sidonie1]

Sorry, just realised I wrote an essay!