We have had a lapse in contraception this month, part stupidity and part choice if we're honest. We already have 4 children aged 2-9 and both work, DH full time and I part time. We can afford another baby, though we had said we wouldn't have one. Now that the possibility is here (I haven't tested yet but I'm a planner so I like to have an idea of whether it's workable or not) I don't know if we could/should go ahead.
Pros - Can fit one in Can afford Can take mat leave/pay Don't find 4 too difficult (yet) Love squishy babies Maternity leave (yay)!
Cons - Just leaving the baby age and like the idea of a 'next chapter,' after babies! DH not keen Would be judged by every fucker imaginable. Could impact on career long term.
Your list of pros is longer and seems more enthusiastic than your cons...just saying
I'm expecting my 5th. The judgeyness has not been as bad as I anticipated, and anyway, you really mustn't let people's opinions be a factor in making a decision like this.
We will have a 5 year age gap between DC4 and DC5, and I have made feelings about going back to the baby stage. But a friend with a newborn was asking me a lot of questions the week- about what the DC were like as newborns, how many hours they slept, how often they fed etc etc and I had to answer so many with: "I honestly can't remember". It goes sooooo quickly!
Personally, I know that whatever else I may regret on my deathbed, it won't be my kids (even though they drive me mental much of the time!). So I say do it, absolutely
We decided to go for baby 4, as 2 & 3 were twins we originally were going to stick with 2, but never has the opportunity. Part of it was that feeling of 'in for a penny, in for a pound'. What's the difference between 3 or 4? But we are having twins again so will end up with 5 (under 4 for a few weeks!!).
Am absolutely terrified despite being ok with 4. I already have had lots of judgement - trying not to care but day in day out it does grind you down. Totally agree that shouldn't be a factor in your decision though.
I'm working contracts and freelance so no maternity - that's definitely an attractive part of your situation.
I'm not sure what my point is apart from 4 seemed like a good idea at the time (hormones?) and now I'm pregnant with 4 and 5 I'm really not feeling happy about the idea of 5 (probably hormones too).
It feels like a big step change - not sure exactly why but I think it feels like it tips the balance between 'normal', whatever that is, and 'massive family'!!