When to have a DC3 (potentially)

(4 Posts)
snowydrops Tue 09-Feb-16 16:07:34

DD1 is just 4, DD2 is almost 1. DH and I are both turning 34 this year so still relatively young (ahem!).

We have always said we might like 3 DCs, both of us love parenting but are obviously tired and worn out by it frequently. Both our DDs have been relatively easy babies and children (so far) but I'm aware this is likely to change in some ways as they grow and need more. We are still frequently up once a night and I must admit that is one of the major things I don't like (DH is better with that!).

Anyway we both love our kids and DH comes from 3 and so I think would be keen to add to the family at some point if I were keen. I am one of 2 but have never really been close to my DS and always felt I would have liked to have another sibling.

The big question is when? I had always thought I would like a 3rd when I was approaching 40 (if i was still able to, probably more like 38) because I like the idea of having a little one when my older ones grow and eventually leave home...I guess I am planning ahead. I also thought it might be easier when my DDs are both at school? DH on the other hand is more of the 'now or never' because he thinks we will have gotten out of the baby years and just be getting back on track financially etc (less childcare fees once they're in school).

I have made a list of pros and cons but would love to hear other's experiences especially on how adding a 3rd DC changed the family dynamics, what was good/bad etc things I might not have considered.

Pros

Another lovely baby :-)
DDs have an extra sibling when they grow up
We are young enough to do it (i feel too young to say no more I think?!)
We can afford it currently
DH might take Paternity leave this time (which he would love)
Maybe we would get a boy, I don't really mind whether I have a son or not but I suppose I might always wonder what one would have been like!

Minus

Will i be too old if i leave it a few years? I worry about the associated risks
Recovery from DD2 was awful, almost a year to get over ELCS, DD1 not much better (VB) but quicker
Money - just getting back on track and would mean another year off work (I am self employed)
Lack of sleep / general chaos / might need a bigger house
Pregnancy second time was hard, a lot of sickness until 4 months and then exhaustion.

Any tips? Experiences that might help me decide?

london32 Fri 12-Feb-16 19:24:04

I'd have no 3 closer like when no 2 is 2.5/3.

I have 3 and it's so so much easier them all being close in age. Same kids clubs, same interests. Same to progs etc all can go to other kids birthday parties.

People I know with a big gap effectively have 2 families in a way as the older ones are completely separate from the younger ones.

I'd get it over with by the time
You're 35. The thought of 3 small ones is gruelling but the time soon goes. And it goes really quickly with baby no3. Just focus on routine and all will be ok. grin

JustWantToBeDorisAgain Fri 12-Feb-16 19:44:56

Agree with previous poster I have 23 months between each of mine ( 3 dd's) although it was hard it really has paid off similar friends activities interests, and they play together really well.

Livefortoday1 Fri 12-Feb-16 20:13:23

Hello. I say go for it and don't wait! Not wishing to be negative but I shall share my experience in the hope that it helps. I have a DD and a DS ( three and nearly two). We had wanted three children and never suspected we would have any issues as we have two healthy children and happened easily.
Firstly, I had a miscarriage at six weeks. I was then lucky to get pregnant again a couple of months later but tragically lost my daughter when I was 21 weeks pregnant. You never know what could happen. You will be absolutely fine I'm sure but that is my experience. I'm fairly young too (35).
For the little ones, I would also say it is better for them to have a sibling closer in age as the third may end up growing up more like an only child if there is too big a gap.
Good luck!

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