Support

(276 Posts)
lavent Thu 13-Aug-15 11:49:16

Looking for advice / support on having 4 young DC.

I'm in a difficult situation, alone, no family/friends as recently moved to escape DV.

Money is tight as I'm not currently working but I would like to start thinking about part-time work at Easter if I can find a suitable childcare solution. Easier said than done though!

ziggyziggy Thu 13-Aug-15 12:02:18

hello lavent, that sounds really tough. Are you able to start building up a new support network where you are or is it just too difficult to get out an about being on your own?

part time work sounds very ambitious, I would say be careful about burnout if you are seriously considering it with 4 young DCs. That said it could be a nice escape for a few hours if you could find something worth doing.

Z :-)

lavent Thu 13-Aug-15 12:21:30

It is hard getting out but I've just bought a car so that will help - newsflash though I think it needs new brake pads - going to take it to a garage to confirm tomo though will have to wait a couple of weeks to fix due to funds. Always was a gamble buying a cheap car though.

Re work yes it is ambitious I just don't think I can cope financially once the lower benefits cap kicks in - I'll be about £80/week worse off which is a huge amount over the month. If I can find a part time job not only will the cap not apply, I'll be earning as well.

I've started using Colief today to see if it helps DS4 - watch this space.

CheckpointCharlie Thu 13-Aug-15 12:23:45

Hello lavent have you ever done Avon? I did it for a while when my dad was little and made a few quid every month, it won't bring you great riches but it did help for a bit! (Hug)

crazytyke Thu 13-Aug-15 12:25:59

Just checking in.

I used colief for dd and it worked wonders, fingers crossed

lavent Thu 13-Aug-15 12:27:23

Once UC kicks in the 16 hours rule becomes a minimum figure you have to earn to be exempt from the cap (from memory £400/month ish) so Avon wouldn't work really - or any of those direct-selling things as wouldn't earn enough. Although I do think it's good to get rid of the 16 hour rule.

ziggyziggy Thu 13-Aug-15 12:28:54

self employed work might work for you, it is flexible and can be done evenings / while DCs sleeping etc (that's what I do), have you considered that? (I do this).

If you do consider self employment I would say you would def need some childcare though, as you need wind down time too, so wouldn't suggest relying solely on working in eves etc as you might be so tired.

lavent Thu 13-Aug-15 13:06:11

Yes I have thought about SE - just not too sure what I could do. Also I would benefit from the social aspect of employment as it would be a way to meet people.

mummypig3 Thu 13-Aug-15 13:40:13

Hope the car is ok. Last thing you need when skint x

Dioskouri Thu 13-Aug-15 13:45:52

Checking in too. Hope the colief is a breakthrough!

mummypig3 Fri 14-Aug-15 08:31:22

Morning lavent. How's baby getting on with the coleif?

lavent Fri 14-Aug-15 09:48:35

Well I'm not sure if it takes some time to kick in? But last night I could not get him to settle in the basket for any great length of time sad I've put a folded towel under the mattress so it's a bit raised at the top but he's still not comfortable.
Or he just likes being held hmm

mummypig3 Fri 14-Aug-15 13:51:18

Ah so he's fine when your holding him? I had a cling on! Ended up letting him sleep in my bed and he's still there now grin

lavent Fri 14-Aug-15 16:31:30

Well not totally fine he still strains and lifts his legs up towards his tummy - like you'd think he was constipated but he's not confused
But he will sleep for short spells when I hold him....

ziggyziggy Fri 14-Aug-15 16:55:13

that sounds difficult, not been following fully, what did the GP or HV say about it?

have you tried pushing backwards and forwards in buggy till he drops off? dark room, lullabies etc often worked for my DS

How are you finding mealtimes and cooking, can't imagine how that must be for you, I guess you have to make triple when you have help around and time to do it?

Wisteria1979 Fri 14-Aug-15 17:04:07

Do you have any meals that you all eat? It must be hard to try and work out food that's cheap,nutritions and gets eaten. I do a lot of batch cooking which means either the freezer is full quickly or we eat the same three days on the trot. Do you have an ok freezer?

lavent Fri 14-Aug-15 17:32:42

I meal plan and often cook double and freeze (have decent sized freezer though as I only shop once a week one drawer is bread and one is veg).

Here is this weeks plan:
Chilli, rice, salad
Roast Chicken, new potatoes, cabbage, peas, carrots
Veg Curry & rice
Pesto pasta, Sweetcorn, garlic bread
Beans on toast
Chilli, jacket potatoes, broccoli
Veg Curry & naan

Cooking is hard / stressful but I try to start early and have 2 nights a week of my freezer meals.
My budget is £40 then I have the healthy start tokens too which are another £9 ish.

mummypig3 Fri 14-Aug-15 18:00:53

Fingers crossed the coleif starts to help! Did you get your car looked at? Those look like good meals. Do all the dc eat it? Mine are terribly fussy

Wisteria1979 Fri 14-Aug-15 18:16:41

My quick go to meal at the moment is jacket with tuna and cheese. Chuck some sweet corn in for the kids and mustard/gherkin for the adults. Mix with creme fraiche instead of mayo to make a bit healthier.
I also do mini pizza muffins - cheap quick and easy and I normally grate a carrot or courgette in it but otherwise cheese and ham batons and oregano. Serve with veggie soup. Butternut squash/sweet potato soup mix is quite cheap and easy to just cook up with some veg or chicken stock. Or green lentils, onion and chopped tomato soup if your children will eat it. Mine will eat the first but not second soup.

Wisteria1979 Fri 14-Aug-15 18:24:53

Meant to ask, how is feeding working out for DS4?

lavent Fri 14-Aug-15 18:44:50

I couldn't find the garage and baby was screaming in the back so I decided not to bother and leave it for now and not use the car if I can help it. I don't have the money to fix it anyway I just wanted to know how bad it was IYKWIM!

The DC mainly eat the meals yes but I have to make stuff mild tasteless soup sounds lovely though I'm not sure DS1 would eat it the rest of us would!
I can't stand tuna though and have passed this on to the DC as I never buy the stuff!
Pizza muffins sound good though I'll give that a try!

Re feeding - I've just stopped expressing now I'm on anti-depressants. Currently boobs are about to explode and having to change breast pads all the time but I was only expressing twice a day do hopefully will sort itself out soon. Sad but I think formula is the way to go for this baby now so I've made my peace with that.

fabuLou Fri 14-Aug-15 18:50:34

How old are your dcs op?

mummypig3 Fri 14-Aug-15 18:51:07

When will the nanny be coming next? Perhaps leave the dc with her when you take the car. Best to get it looked at

Wisteria1979 Fri 14-Aug-15 18:59:52

lickthebowlgood.blogspot.co.uk/2010/07/annoying-habits.html
This is the one I cook. Substitute Parmesan/mozzarella for any cheese going and the pepperoni for ham or courgettes or whatever. And I don't do dipping sauce as I have them with soup.
Sorry to hear about the car, that's rubbish. Hope you get it seen to soon and that it's not too expensive for you.
Try not to fret too much about the formula. I know it's expensive and faffy but it's not forever and right now it's what works for your family. You need the antid's and with his colicky/reflux stuff might be good for him if he gets something sludgier prescribed?

lavent Fri 14-Aug-15 19:05:36

DC are newborn, 2, 4 and 6

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