If you have a larger family do you go and stay at other people's houses?

[Pantone312]

Back from a week away, last three days at my sisters. All 4DC with me.

I felt uncomfortable the whole time. She was lovely and welcoming but they only have 1DC and aren't planning anymore.

I felt like I was on high alert the whole time monitoring behaviour, mess, noise, worried about how much the DC were eating/drinking (I offered money for shopping obviously).

We went out for one day in town and tourist stuff and sis was constantly calling the kids back, worried when we were crossing roads etc, didn't want them all in shops at the same time. Stuff that I don't think about anymore!

I don't think we'd go away to stay at someone's house again it's just got to the point where there are too many of us

[Lightbulbon]

I think it is a bit of a culture clash when a 1 DC family sees a 4dc one up close!

I'm surprised they had space- that's usually the barrier!

[Artandco]

I can see your point. We only have 2. I think my house would be a nightmare with 6 children in it!

I suppose it depends on size of the house as in does it have 2 spare bedrooms so one can be used for playing in during the day for example, and the other one for yourself and little ones to rest and nap out of the way a while

I would find 5 extra people around all day a lot. Ok for 1 day, but after a couple too much.

[Pantone312]

They have 5 bedrooms so plenty of sleeping space! Her fella looked shell shocked by the end of the first day

[Artandco]

Also, are they quiet Children Or noisy? That's makes a big difference. 4 children who can read quietly and draw at guests houses are very different from 4 running around, shouting and play fighting

[CoolAs10Fonzies]

I wouldn't dare inflict my 4dc on anyone

Tbh, the dc would be just the same but I would be more stressed as I would be worried about the hosts and how they were coping.

I don't really enjoy having visitors anyway as it stresses me out, I just assume people are like me in that respect.

So, no I woudn't go stay at anyones house - I'd prefer to stay in a bnb locally or a caravan or something. That way the people we are visiting have some space also.

[tomatodizzymum]

We have 4 too. I have stayed at close friends (but we're not in the UK) so they often like us to see them a day and a night and a day to maximise time. One friend I stayed with has 3 dcs so it's like cheese and cheese (her DH was away and mine didin't come) and plus her DC's are all young so my two older ones actually provide a childcare break for her. The other has 1 but her house is chaotic, she's just like that so I didn't feel my kids were too much (she invited us back so.....) I don't think I would ever do more that one night. I have stayed with a childless auntie for five days with all four DC's and my mother, father, and my in laws obviously we do stay with/have stayed with and it's been fine. I find people get tired when they visit us more than we go to them because our house is FULL ON with 4 kids, two dogs, two cats and all the farm animals. But the last people that stayed sent a text an hour after they left saying they were missing the chaos and the children already.
I am going to visit another friend who lives in the same country as me and only taking two DC's with me as she too has only one DC and when we went to their house (when we were both living in the UK) we always rounded up a left before the twilight hour so she thinks my kids are angels and I don't want to burst her bubble

[Pantone312]

Well one of them is only 17 weeks so only 3DC really!

No they don't play fight, scream and shout it's just normal kid noise and all the stuff that comes with them.

I was so much more stressed than I would be normally which I think the DC pick up on. Her DP came in from work and started hoovering straight away! And the stress over stair gates, every ten minutes them asking if the gates are closed, my DC have used stairs for years fine!

[Pantone312]

Her DC LOVED it! He was in his element playing with them for hours

[tomatodizzymum]

This threads made me think, you could be on to a business plan here. Have a large family come and stay for a few days, or stay with a large family for a few days - contraception plan for undecided couples.

[Pantone312]

Well it certainly solidified their decision to only have 1

[littlegemsem]

We have 6 (including 2 each from previous marriage) age range 2-23yrs and the youngest are twins so we don't get invited anywhere, not even for lunch!!

[Buttwing]

Littlegem we have four and are exactly the same, no one ever invites us anywhere!!
I tend to just have people to my house we are fortunate to have lots of space and a couple more kids thrown in don't make much difference and actually make things easier sometimes as the kids see them as fresh meat!!

[Mommyusedtobecool]

No :(
I've got too many to even go for dinner at someone else's house (7).
So then sometimes my entire family will have dinner at mine.
That's my parents, brother and two sisters, my brother his wife and 3 kids and Sister with her husband and 2 kids.
In short it's a nightmare.
But I'm grateful that my sister inlaw and sisters and mum will always help wash up before they leave.

[cathpip]

My sisters tend to stay with me they have 2/3 dc each and we can accommodate them all and their dogs. Yes the house is a tip, I have 3 dc of a similar age but it doesn't take long while ones cooking tea for the other to sweep the house and lob all the toys in the playroom and shut the door :). And the day before they leave the house gets a top to bottom tidy and bed linen change from my sisters and me, we all pitch in together, if your bathing your dc you bath all the dc, shame my inlaws can't do the same, they expect to be waited on.........

[Peppasmate]

I have never stayed at anyone eelse's house or had anyone to stay!

6 dc here. I would never do stuff like going to shops with the dc...pure torture!

We don't get invited anywhere...

[fabuLou]

Only at pil, they have 4 bedrooms and we have 4dcs. Its fine apart from pil

[5madthings]

5 here and fingers crossed one on the way if it's a sticky one. And yes we get incited places and are going to my sister's later this week, she only has one and they are planning on sticking at that. But they cope well when I descend with my hoard, bigger ones sometimes sleep in a tent in her garden. They can play in the garden and there is a park out of her back gate to chuck them out into.

Little ones in Bath together, simple dinners, chilli or spag bog or pizza thar are easy to double up. It seems Ok, I think her dh was maybe a bit overwhelmed the first time but the cousins love seeing each other and there is always alcohol once kids in bed... Well not for me this time.
Then after visiting her we are off to dhs aunt, and that's fine, they enjoy seeing the kids.

It always helps to have a garden or somewhere outdoors you can take kids to.

Re friends, some of ours hae 3 or 4 kids, some only 2 but we still get invites for dinner, for bbqs etc. I always take food/alcohol along and we are happy to have short notice extras at our house as it really doesn't make much difference to us.