Seriously broody - help! Does it end?

[tabbyH]

I have two beautiful girls (4 and 2 this year) and have never wanted a third. However, I am now so broody it is almost all I think of. Things aren't great with DH and he doesn't want another, ever! He wasn't great with them as babies but now they are more interesting he is coping better. A third would finish us off and ruin my going back to work and saving money plans. It is totally illogical for me to have another but I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't think it has helped that I have recently had the IUS removed and suddenly have hormones again. Will it get better? Will it go away? Because at the minute its making me quite unhappy at the thought of never having another child. And its the child I'd want - I hated being pregnant!

[Skygirls]

That's a tough one, Tabby.
If you and DH aren't great at the moment, having DC3 might be the nail in the coffin, as you have stated. You'd need to really consider the impact on your entire family, especially your girls, if things don't work out, and having a third if there's a chance you'd not have DH around would be extremely difficult. Would you be able to be a single parent to 3? I know that I would have found it very hard to cope with on my own.

After my two DC, my DH and I discussed DC3 for a year before going for it. Like you, I knew I wanted another. I was very broody. However, I had to consider what DH wanted too, as this was going to be half of him. Plus weighing up what it would mean for DC 1&2 to have another sibling, and how it would all work out at home.

I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful DH who wanted to have DC3, but that was after discussing it for a whole year!
If he had said that he did not want any more DC's, I would have had to accept that and put my own feelings behind me, for the sake of the family. Otherwise it would have been just about me.

Let me say that now as a mum of 3, it is not easy, especially as DH is at work all day and I have to do the school run, washing, ironing, EBF baby, getting dinner ready, bathing kids, bedtime, food shopping, nursing sick kids without help! It's tiring and I have no time for myself. All this WITH a supportive DH.

I don't know if the feelings will go away, but they will diminish with time, as you get on with everyday life and with your girls. I think it's a decision thing. I knew I wanted another, but was prepared to make the decision not to. And I would have stuck to it if that was the decision. Then I would have invested the energy in my 2 DC's, my life and relationship.

I think you should try to work things out first before thinking of having DC3.. If it gets unbearable, maybe talk to your GP or a Councillor.

I hope it all works out for you- chin up.

[tabbyH]

Thank you. I'll just have to hope, for now, that I get less broody with time