Another one about 3 under 4..extra help needed?

(9 Posts)
Beatrixpotty Sat 26-Jan-13 20:14:29

DS3 due in 6weeks.DS1 3.5,starts school in Sept,DS2 nearly 2.Wondering if I need more help at home/childcare.Will have DS1 in preschool 2.5 days per week but nothing over summer holidays.DS2 will stay at nursery 2 days per week.Will have all 3 at home 2 days per week,then only 1 of them & the baby on the other days.Worried how I'll manage especially on the days when have all 3 as DS1 is so energetic and DS2 ,although calmer ,isn't quite old enough not to run off in parks etc.I've managed fine so far when just had a wilfull toddler & a bf newborn but will it be too much with a small baby & 2&3 yr old boys,particularly in the summer when they really need to be outside?I'm looking into getting a mother's help 1 day per week.How did others manage with small age gaps like this and I am being silly worrying?Me & DH are both 1 of 3 but the personalities of our siblings were much calmer than either of our 2 boys.I don't want to make my other 2 feel pushed out by increasing the amount of time they spend in childcare but on the other hand I'm worried it will be too much on my own.Any survival tips/advice?

amazingmumof6 Sat 26-Jan-13 21:02:50

stop worrying and stressing yourself out, please!
get the childcare you think you'll need, it's worth it. it's what it is, your kids will cope and you can always reduce/increase the help!

I find the first 6 months the toughest, by September it will be a lot easier anyway!

please don't even think about the summer yet, you don't know how your children wiil grow and change by then, just focus on immediate help and/or arrangements after birth

do you have Homestart in your are? great charity that offer free help in your home - childcare only, not housework

my DS1 was 3.5 and DS2 was 17 months old when DS3 was born, and it was hard, but ok.
I had some help from PIL, and DS1 was in nursery 5 morning.

you'll survive it too and good luck!

Beatrixpotty Sun 27-Jan-13 13:25:35

amazingmum you are right ,I will be fine and so will the kids.Think just had a difficult day yesterday almost feeling like I couldn't manage the 2 I have never mind any more.The last weeks of pregnancy are tiring!But also interested to know how much others have had,as we have no family help at all and DH works some nights & weekends

NAR4 Sun 27-Jan-13 14:44:00

My first two were both under four when I had my third and my second was very active (later diagnosed with ADHD). I didn't have any help at all and the oldest didn't go to nursery because you had to pay for it in those days and we couldn't afford it.

I used to get as much ready the night before as possible ie packed lunches ready in the fridge, clothes layed out ready for the morning, a box of activities ready to use. I tried to plan a list of activities to keep the older boys busy and occupied, giving them less time and energy to 'play up'. It was hard work and tiring, but also very enjoyable and rewarding.

Making camps both indoors and outdoors was always a favourite activity. They would often eat their packed lunch sitting in their camp. I used to walk them all to the park after lunch (30 minute walk) which gave the baby a nice sleep in the pram or babysling and wore the older two out. By the time we walked home from the park it was tea time, bath and bed.

My boys have grown up very close to each other and it does get easier as they get older. I'm glad we had the age gap we did and have (deliberately) repeated the same age gap for Dc four and five.

Get whatever help you feel you need. All families are different. Just remember to enjoy your children.

Fresh01 Wed 30-Jan-13 21:40:08

I had 3 under 4 then 4 under 6. We don't have any regular family help. I have never had extra help with childcare but I wouldn't be without my cleaner. Knowing she has the bathrooms and floors cleaned properly was great.

I also did the clothes laid out the night before and park trip in the afternoon so the baby got a sleep in the pram.

Make a menu plan for a few days to avoid gazing into the fridge at 4.30pm when the kids are going mad trying to work out what to cook. I do a lot of big pot meals like spag Bol that are cooked and eaten one night but can be reheated for dinner again the next night.

weasle Wed 30-Jan-13 21:47:32

I have similar gap and 3 boys. It's great smile

I had a mothers help 2or 3 evenings a week 4-7pm I think and that was great. My DH home 8ish so bedtime on my own hard. The older one was at nursery 5 mornins and one day second went to childminder. Also second the cleaner idea.

tostaky Sun 31-Mar-13 22:01:30

very similar to weasle.
I have 3 DSs (4.5, 3 and 10m) - very active.
DP is working long hours. Cleaner once a week.
I have help 3 evenings a week and 1 morning a week - MINIMUM
Often 4 eves and 1 or 2 mornings.
DS1 is a november babe so not at school...only pre-school

get help, theres no prize for being a hero here.

Beatrixpotty Mon 01-Apr-13 12:48:15

Thanks everyone.Had the baby now ,he's 3weeks.It's all good so far,but could do with more sleep.Decided to go for nanny /mothers help 1 day per week.Also cleaner.Along with nursery & pre-school will have 1 day with all 3,then other days 1or 2 (except during school holidays)which I think will be fine.Friends have been great too offering to take older boys out for me & DH helping out with bath time.

Bunbaker Mon 01-Apr-13 13:01:44

Can you get a student? One of my friends had three under threes and had a student nursery nurse/childcare worker on work placement with her.

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