Three under four?!

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

hi, I know this is an old topic but just got my bfp and all going well, will have 3 under 4! the problem is I suffered PND when at home with toddler and baby. I know strategies to keep myself sane now (some me time mainly! Also trying to be tidier and more organised!) but I'm now having concerns that I'm stupid to want another after the PND. Any similar experiences?

[MatureUniStudent]

Several questions here. I had three under four, it was hard work but organisation is the key. I found it full on but really enjoyed it. And it is so worth it now, such fun and always a DC to chat to. Second question, PND. I had that with my second and fourth. But not the other two, so it may well be that it dosen't follow that you will develop PND this with this one. And you are alert to it - I was with no. 4 so got help quickly.

I love having a big family, I wouldn't change the noise and fighting and loving for anything. We are all v close and enjoy time with each other. I think I am extremely blessed and the tiredness in the first few years was SO worth it.

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Thank you matureunistudent! Maybe like you say, the PND won't happen this time as I have a rough idea what caused it before so can try and avoid it as best I can. Were you on medication for PND? I'm still taking my ads as I don't think I should stop and have googled it. Have a doc appointment though to ask for sure. Thanks again

[Kt8791]

I could be u op. Expecting dc3 in may and will have 3 under 4 ( for a couple of months anyway!) also had pnd with dc2. Very planned pregnancy but the closer I get to use date the more apprehensive I am getting. The logistics of getting out the house ( the only thing that keeps me sane!)

[duchesse]

I had 3 in 4 years and 2 weeks (would have been 4 years on the nose if DD2 had been born when she was due). It was really hard work until DD2 started sleeping properly, has been absolutely fab ever since. They are now 19, 17 and 15 and are very close. I think it's quite important to try as much as possible not to treat them like an army- ie to acknowledge their individualities (as much as humanly possible). Good luck! Fun times ahead. Remember to carve out time for you!!

[AmberSocks]

i have 4 under 5 and had 3 under 2 at one point.

like you said you know what to look out for with pnd so you will be fine,make sure you have support where you can get it.

do/will your older ones go to nursery or school?tbh i found it harder when all that started,getting a 2 yr old,3 yrold,4yr old and newborn out the house by 8.20 every morning is tough,but i enjoy the couple of hours -relative-peace soits swings and roundabouts really.

[loverofwine]

I had three under 2yrs and chronic PND. Looking back not sure how we got through but we did.

My advice:
Take up every offer of help, no matter how small. Tell people you will repay one day when you can but don't try to do so straight away
Pay for help if you can afford it
Don't worry about how your house looks. Focus on getting through each day with three fed, clean kids.
TV is not evil. It buys you time and space to think
If childcare is available. Take it up. Even an hour or two with one less is worth it.
If the PND is really bad. See your GP. If they only describe anti depressants go back. Camp on the Surgery doorstep if necessary. There is help available out there (Health Visitors, Homestart, Psychiatrists, Support people etc) but you have to really need it and unfortunately sometimes you have to shout a bit to get.

Remember the first stage is so short. You will soon stop being tired and sad and then you can start really enjoying things.

Good luck

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Thank you all for the support; dp and I are using this hol to try and decluttering our house for once and for all as it's definitely making my mood worse and life more difficult!

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Ps luckily my almost three year old will be getting her free 15 hours so she'll be out at nursery. I am going to try and get it over two whole days if I can, then maybe pay for my younger one to go for a day or so too. We all need to get into a stricter routine and generally more organised too, which we are working hard on!

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Oh and finally... Doc advised me to stop taking the antidepressants! I hope I get on ok

[BlackholesAndRevelations]

Thanks again x

[Convert]

I had a 4 yr old, a 2 yr old and a newborn so not quite what you are facing but I had PND with my 2nd and was fine with DC3. I actually found it much easier with 3 than 2 and DD just settled in with us so well. She was a very easy baby like DS1, DS2 was a fucking nightmare. I actually felt it was all really easy because I'd had such a rough time with 2nd one, it was very relaxed in comparision. I wasn't all stressed and worried, everything came very naturally. Best of luck to you and congrats on your BFP!

[Myliferocks]

Eight years ago my children were newborn, 13 months, 2 years 5 months, 4 years and 1 month and 8 years and 7 months.
Back then was easy compared to now and all the hormones flowing in our house!