Tell me about having 4 DC's

(44 Posts)
SausageSmuggler Sat 22-Sep-12 09:41:24

DH and I have decided that ultimately we would like 4 DC's, at the mom

designergirl Sat 20-Oct-12 19:46:51

We've got four dds, aged 9,6,4 and 16 months. We love it. It can be hard work and there are piles of washing everywhere but I wouldn't change it for the world.

sheepsgomeeping Fri 19-Oct-12 10:34:30

I am also a lone parent to 4 dc. ds is 13 and has adhd/poss asd and the 3 girls are 10, 5 and 2.

The three girls share a room atm and ds has his own room and when dd1 is older I plan in either giving up my room and I will go in the seperate dining room or she can have the dining room I havent decided yet.

Its bloody hard work and expensive, uniform, more money on shopping, etc but I love having four. My elder dc do help me with the younger girls. dd1 will get dd3 ready for me in the mornings once she has sorted herself out and ds will watch them for me if I'm busy in the house cooking dinner etc. All are expected to help with some kind of chore although ds is a nightmare at this.

I never planned to be a lone parent to 4dc but I am and we muddle through most days

Just adding myself into this thread!
We have 3 dds who are 5.1,4.1,2.3 and a 10.5 month ds.
So we had four under five till last month.

It is hectic and tiring and I do find myself saying 'yes in a minute' a lot to them but I wouldn't swap it

I have 4. I find the expense and energy needed has grown as they have. They do not have all the "stuff" that some of their friends do but they do not miss out on time spent with them and opportunities to do activities. DH and I both work and I will probably need to work FT in the future to provide a reasonable place for us as a family finacially. But I have NO regrets.

SausageSmuggler Mon 08-Oct-12 12:46:02

Thank you for all your replies - DH and I both love the idea of lots of hustle and bustle. Money aside, I know there are going to be stressful months days but I have them with 2 DC's and had them when it was just DS. I think though the plan is to wait a while - we've got a wedding abroad in 2014 so might pencil TTC number 3 in for then grin.

3monkeys3 Sat 06-Oct-12 18:19:52

The thing is that every so often I freak out slightly and back off a bit about it myself, so I can't really persuade him until I'm totally there. I want another but am not sure if it is sensible for us (small house, repeat sections, crap pregnancies) and worry about spreading ourselves too thinly too. But I do really want another! It's so hard to decide this time, when it was so easy to decide the previous 3 times - hardly any thought given to it at all!

BuntCadger Sat 06-Oct-12 11:37:04

I have a 12y ds, 4yr ds, almost 1yr dd a d considering baby number 4

Main thing against us is my age (37).

Thinkingof4 Sat 06-Oct-12 11:31:21

3monkeys and mooglet
My dh wasn't keen on no4 for a while when ds3 was a bit younger and less settled. He's 16 months now and a really happy wee soul which has helped change dh mind. I didn't really push it at the time, we agreed we would look at things again a few months later, and luckily for me he has changed his mind. He does struggle with baby - phase, which we both accept and deal with between us. He's a brilliant dad once they are a bit bigger (older than a year usually).

Maybe agreeing to wait a bit and revisit in a few months would work for you too?

Mooglet Fri 05-Oct-12 22:24:49

We'll have to share DH persuasion strategies then, 3monkeys3! Although getting DS2 to sleep a bit better, and DS1 and DD to stop waking us up in the morning with their squabbling would be a good start here. Maybe a fourth would be madness.......

Thinkingof4 Fri 05-Oct-12 21:52:32

Congratulations vickles doesn't seem like lon since you decided to go for it! Fx with the scan tomorrow.
Now that we have finally made the decision I am sooo excited at the thought of being pregnant and completing our family grin

3monkeys3 Fri 05-Oct-12 20:39:21

Mooglet! Your gang is pretty much exactly the same as mine - DS (4.1), DD (2.11) and DS (1.1) - I also lurk loads on here and have a resistant dh!

Mooglet Fri 05-Oct-12 20:11:20

I feel like some kind of four-children-stalker, as I lurk on these threads and so recognise lots of names...... I would so like a fourth, but DH is still not sure, and so I am trying very hard not to push, or moan, or resent him.
We have DS (4.5), DD (3) and DS (1.2), so I wouldn't want to get pregnant just yet, but would like to keep the gaps small. And I'm 39 too, so don't want to leave it too long.
I just love all these descriptions of houses full of children. We already have the chaos and the piles of washing!

Vickles Fri 05-Oct-12 16:43:38

Thinkingof4.. Yay! So pleased you're going for it! I'm 8 weeks pregnant with no4! We 'went for it' this summer, after months of forever changing our minds!
We have a private scan tomorrow, as I'm pooping myself at the prospect of twins! No good reason other than silly irrational hormones!
The whole point of going for no4, was to round things up nicely. 5 = aahhh!
Of course, whatever the outcome, we'll go with it.. but still, I just need to know!
Eeeeek!
So, our no4 is due in May 2013. So, next May we'll have dd (8.5), dd (4.9) and ds (2.3).
We need to know my older dd's massive bedroom into two and pop a little hallway in. So, the plan is, all kids will have their own room.
And, then we're thinking of a Honda FRV, the 6 seater car.
And, OH is going to speak to work about starting later so he can take the girls to school every morning, then making it up in the evening working from home (which, in all fairness, he does most nights anyway, whilst I'm on Mumsnet!)
We have no help from anyone, just school for the girls and nursery for my boy a day a week. So, well soldier on, come what may! xx

slipperandpjsmum Fri 05-Oct-12 15:01:30

I have 4 and although its hard work its wonderful. We always have lots of kids in the house, round for tea and sleepovers. My dh and I both work ft. He has his own business and I work flexi time.

I love having a large family and I am so proud of them all. I do things with each one on their own so we have our own time together and I think about spending time with them and planning it which smaller families may not do.

It is expensive especially as they get older, they are relatively cheap when they are little! My ds is 16 and can eat a large meal, have dessert and 10 mins later be raiding the cupboards with cries of I am starving!!

I love having a large family and would do it all over again in a heart beat if I had the chance.

NAR4 Fri 05-Oct-12 14:37:51

I'm sure you have already thought of all the practicalities of cost, fitting them in the house and car etc. It's none stop, but great. The children always have someone to play with and enjoy each others company (most of the time). I have to agree that the biggest burden is the washing, which is constant. I do as little ironing as possible and avoid the tumble dryer when I can, due to cost. As soon as the children were old enough, putting their own washing away became their job. They have a box each, where I put their clean clothes and all the stuff they have left lying around. This is their job to do when they get home from school. One survival tip is to let their room be however they want it, even if that's a dump. Constantly tidying the children's rooms as well as the rest of the housework means I just run out of hours in the day.

ohforfoxsake Fri 05-Oct-12 00:26:14

It gets more expensive and trickier as they get older. Oh yes, holidays - we're having to pay as 4 adults and 2 children when we stay in a hotel angry and have to have two rooms (wont be doing it again). I'm in a window where all 4 have after-school/weekend activities and none are old enough to take themselves off (between 10 & 5). There is a lot of bickering, a lot of 'stuff', a lot of organisation, homework, laundry, cooking etc. The food bill isn't too bad with meal planning (about £120 and they all have packed lunch). Getting people, even grand parents, to look after them is hard as its a daunting task. DH works away a lot. 4 children mean a lot of other kids around all the time. Piles and piles if shoes everywhere. We have a cleaner which saves my sanity weekly. I find the dog harder work than the children. (I'm sure the dog was a substitute for number 5).

But they are very happy, content children and that is what matters.

WinkyWinkola Fri 05-Oct-12 00:11:14

I want 5. Dc4 is 5 weeks old but will wait until he's 2.5.

charlottehere Thu 04-Oct-12 19:45:25

Ohhhh watching with interest as number 4 due in 9 weeks. smile

Thinkingof4 Thu 04-Oct-12 19:37:26

Yes limeleafI recognised your name too. Good luck with your pregnancy, I hope it all goes very smoothly. I found my 3rd pregnancy my easiest in many ways, mostly because I was too busy to think about it!!
We are planning an extension too- at some point when we have some money again!

LimeLeafLizard Thu 04-Oct-12 18:33:05

<takes deep breath after panic at thought of paying 4 lots of uni fees>

Hello Thinkingof4, I think we've been on the same threads before - glad you've decided to TTC! Good luck.

Thinkingof4 Thu 04-Oct-12 17:24:21

This is a really interesting thread! Having been thinking about TTC no4 for months we are finally going for it. This will definitely be the last though, and our wee gang will be complete (fx that it does happen, if not I'll just be grateful for the 3 I have ds's age 5,3 and 1.

TheCatInTheHairnet Thu 04-Oct-12 16:46:39

It's great. Expensive, but great. You need to remember that it isn't just the cost of the bigger house and car, but the constant cost, which gets bigger the older they get. Mine are 8-15 and some days I feel I am hemorrhaging money!

If you stay in a hotel, most hotels require you to take 2 rooms. If they're going to go to Uni, that's 4 sets of University educations you've got to be ready to stump up for (and in our case, there will be a year or two, when 3 of them will be there at the same time). Etc etc.

I don't have much time for the whole "they don't get all your attention" gumph. I was one of 4 and that never bothered me. It doesn't take much for a parent to show their child how much they care on a daily basis. And, when you can't do it, they have each other. As long as they're getting on that day, at least. wink

It's not for everybody, I am happy to admit, but I don't regret it for a moment.

3monkeys3 Thu 04-Oct-12 16:32:06

I really want another one! Have 3dc at the moment, all of them under 5, and I just love it even though it is quite hard work. I feel like one more would complete our gang, but I am also terrified of the prospect! This thread has made interesting reading!

MrsBranestawm Tue 02-Oct-12 18:19:03

It's exhausting at the beginning (when they are tiny) and expensive later on (when they are full-sized, but financially dependant, students). I'm at the latter stage now.

It is fantastic for them, the DCs I mean, because they grow up with such a team of siblings to hang out with, and to lean on (and to fight with occasionally). They learn about teamwork and sharing.

Great for the DCs, bit exhausting and expensive for the parents.

Would I have done it differently? Course not!! I am so proud of my four.

LimeLeafLizard Tue 02-Oct-12 11:15:40

Some great points on this thread! I am pg with No 4 and looking forward to it.

I'm a SAHM and we're lucky that DH has a fairly good income so can manage - but yes money is definitely a consideration. We have a 7 seater already but holidays are very expensive and we can't go away every year like we used to pre-kids. We have 3 bedrooms so our children will have to share until we can afford our planned extension!

I agree with Fate that having a routine and discipline helps a great deal... I am starting to prepare the DC now ready for the new baby - e.g. potting training DS3, making DS2 dress himself / put own shoes on, etc, giving DS1 jobs like opening the curtains, clearing the table. Everyone has to help out.

I think having bigger gaps is easier if you have 4 - my gaps will be 3.9 between the first two, then 2.1 and 2.7 years.
I have a friend whose gaps were 15 mths, 18mths and 15 mths again - so for a few weeks she had 4 under 4. That was tough... she hardly surfaced for about 3 years!

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