Big families - what are your coping/enjoying tips?

(8 Posts)
Littlerayofsunshine Sun 29-Jul-12 09:58:47

My dp & I have 2 small children under 2. we're both mid 20's and would love a big family. We think about the money/space/right balance/work etc but what would you advise? and how have/do you get the right balance (with all these things as well as maintaining a happy relationship where you have time with eachother as well as the kiddies?)

We both have supportive families. I just think sometimes "is it selfish of us to want more?" but then again i think it would be great for them to grow together & become a close unit. smile

What impact do you feel it has on your eldest child/oldest children?

purplepansy Sun 29-Jul-12 16:09:55

Sorry, this is a really flippant answer, but you just sort of get on with it!
I am from a big family and have a big family, and I don't know what impact it has because I've not known any other way, other than you maybe learn to be a bit more independent sooner. It is hard work ensuring that the children don't get jealous of each other etc, but I would imagine that would happen with any number of children.

MUM2BLESS Sun 29-Jul-12 17:51:51

I have four kids 7-16. We have about three years between our kids. Its not always been easy, we've had our challenges. I returned to work when my first was a baby. Gave up work just before no 2 was born.

I was at home for 10 yrs not working. I was still very busy.

I started childminding in 2008 when my youngest started full time school.

You are spending more as the kids get older, especially when they go to senior school. Our third is getting ready to start senior school in sept.

We do not try to keep up with the Joneses . We give our kids what we can afford. I have personally seen the effects of what can happen when you try to buy your kids lots of materianl things that you cannot really afford. We do not have a credit card. Neither myself or my husband.

I am one of SEVEN kids. Never had some of what my peers had. Parents gave us what they could afford.

My dad I believe was one of THIRTEEN. He had less than us.

You are not selfish wanting more kids, thats your personal choice. You seem to have a supportive family. You two make the decision not anyone else.

All the best in your decision.

For us it has helped that neither of us is a workaholic, whether from vocation or financial concerns. Valuing time is really important so we both get some me-time and therefore something to talk about later that isn't just kids and household stuff. I really like my DH and enjoy spending time with him so we work very hard to juggle our time. It also makes you appreciate what money you do have and count blessings which is always good for the soul.

Sunnydelight Mon 30-Jul-12 02:07:44

For me space is the secret of happy families as kids get older. I have three with big gaps so the fact that DD can be playing barbies with her friends in the playroom while DS1 and his girlfriend and mates are watching movies in the living room and DH and I and DS2 still have other places to hang out means that nobody is getting narky. I am particularly bad in my requirements for personal space though so that might just be me!

MUM2BLESS Mon 30-Jul-12 19:47:49

Some lovely advice.

"For us it has helped that neither of us is a workaholic"
"For me space is the secret of happy families as kids get older"

Juule Tue 31-Jul-12 09:05:22

"For me space is the secret of happy families as kids get older"

I agree wholeheartedly with this statementsmile

Have a google of Mongolian yurts if you have a decent garden but not enough money for an extension!

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