What would you consider a large Family? and pros and cons to having one.

[mannicmummyhavinaiccy]

I am a few weeks away from DD3, and have already been asked if i'm having any more! My Mum say 3 is a large family (i'm 1 of 2, and always longed for more siblings like my aunts families of 5 or 6) and DP has 2 older teenagers, so for him, he has a large family already, but I feel my family is still little and incompleate! I'd have 10 if I could! (dont cope well with being PG though :()but birth dont worry me at all. I have dreams of a load of kids playing in fields and rooms full of bunk beds, like in dorms or like something out of nanny mcfee! lol, and I already have a list of names planed out .Am I over romantising it? What are your experiences of having or being part of one?

[Insanitybecomesme]

I have 6dc they are 10,9,4,3 and 1yr old twins. Normally I love it but as I type this I have the 3 youngest children at home with a sickness and diarrohea bug which has gone on since last wednesday, one of my twins has been so poorly that if she isn't better tomorrow then she will be admitted to hospital, if she gets worst today then she will go today. Trying to sort out emergency childcare for 5 childrenof which 2 are unwell is a nightmare. The washing machine and tumble dryer has not been off since sunday apart for a few hrs. Normal washing is about 4 loads a day six at weekends when bedding is changed today there has been 8 loads and at least one more to go!

That said the house is never quiet,which I love and my older children love being part of a big family[GRIN]

[Insanitybecomesme]

to tired to get the right

[marge2]

One con I can think of is that it always seems impossible to get a play date with kids from the larger families at school. They are always too busy at various clubs.

Think of the birthday parties too. You have to arrange loads and also send presents off to even loads more too. Must cost a fortune.

We have one large family at our school and the poor Mum is frantic about the nits as she has kids in so many classes that there always seems to be one with nits who brings it home - passes it round and sends it back to another class.

Minor issues though I guess - I only have 2 kids - what do I know!!

[Rilith]

Cons - its gets very expensive to go anywhere, or eat out. No longer can you use the family ticket... you have to get that and then work out which ones get in free, if its under 12 thats kids rates, or adult rates...

Pros - as long as you like being kept busy its fab, there is always something to do, someone to cuddle, someone to play with.. yes there is always mess to pick up and washing to do. But I love it.

I am 35 now and on baby no6, sometimes I wish I could have started younger (I was 23 when I had my 1st)

[mannicmummyhavinaiccy]

Poor you Insanity hope all bugs have gone and your all better (and your not rocking in a corner, pulling your hair out!which I would be!) I had my first at 21 ( shes now near 11) and think I shouldnt have left such a gap between dd1 & ds. I think of all the cons and 3 seams more practical, but when you have an evening of then giggling and playing together, it seams a shame to put on a limit on how many. Now just to convince DP......

[Insanitybecomesme]

Thanks manicmummy the bug is subsiding and hospital was averted.
I had my first at 25 and the twins at 35 so 6 in ten years.
My DH went from not wanting any, then two,three,four,and five-he never got a say about six being it twins but 6wks after their birth he had the snip in case we got broody again and ended up with triplets

[slipperandpjsmum]

Not sure I get the children from larger families are always at clubs marge ???? As a con is its difficult to afford clubs.

Pros: Birthday parties - its always someones birthday to arrange, invitations to create. Opportunity to celebrate a much loved child's birthday.

Being really busy all the time with friends round, always someone to chat to, play with.

When we all sit down to eat lots to chat about (lots of chatter all the time).

Knowing my children will have a big support network when they grow up and hoping they all go on to have loads of grandchildren for me to spoil.

Getting to go through all the stages over and over eg breast feeding, bed sharing, first steps, first day at school, nativity, high school, first gf, bf ..... I could go on.


If I must have a con I suppose its the cost, as they get older they cost more but there are so many far more important positives!!!

ps. Nits affect all children, not just big families!!

[Danthe4th]

I would say 5 children is a large family, I have 4 and never managed the 5th.
I have dd's age 15 and 14 and ds's age 8 and 5.
Only a few cons for me, the cost being the major one especially with teenagers who do ballet, the car having to be huge, and the running about picking up from different schools and after school activities finishing at different times.
Feeling like a taxi service when in reality its a different child only wanting 2 lifts a week it just feels like dozens. The noise level and getting the older ones to bed now, they just want to hang around chatting for hours, I never get a moments peace.
Oh dear i'm managing to find a few!!

Pros, we have 2 babysitters!! they both earn good money babysitting for friends so I don't have to buy the extras now.
The laughter can be infectious as can the bickering.
I love the looks you get when we all go to the dentist for checkups,lol

[containher]

My husband( not married but may as well be) thinks 3 is a large family-( we had an argument about this ages ago as I was trying to convince him having a few more would be no bother but i was saying it as he walked in from work and our living room had 8 kids under the age of 7 in it, afterschool madness- !) most people with two or less think 3 is large. Personally I don't think 3 is large-most of my friends have 3. I would say 4 is bordeline- 5 is large.

Cons of large family are not being able to dump them all off in one place when you need to go to the doctors- feel bad about asking grandparents /friends to look after when you need to go to parents evenings, afterschool club things that are too late for the little ones etc. plus all and finincial strains.

pros...crazyness and chaos and love and laughter and ready made friends ( and enemies).

[GaribaldiGirl]

insanity - gosh you wash a lot! i do one load a day for my 5. either i am a filthy slob (possible/probable) or you have high standards!

[DerangedSibyl]

A friend of my sister's who was the oldest of 10 cried when her mother announced her 10th pregnancy.

I remember her wailing into my sister's shoulder that there already wasn't enough room, that there already wasn't enough to go around, and that she had barely spoken to her mother in 5 years apart from to tell her something about one of the younger children.

being from a large family must be great if you are one of the younger offspring - but it's harsh on the older ones.

One person says independence, another person might say emotional neglect.

[LillianGish]

I would say four kids is a large family - once you get to the stage where you can't all fit into an ordinary family car. Interestingly in France (where my kids were born), three is classed as famille nombreuse so you get tax breaks, free travel, free entry to lots of places and various other concessions.

[DerangedSibyl]

Catholicism is the primary religion in france, which might explain that

[MUM2BLESS]

My dad was one of 13. I am one of 7.

Today four or more is perhaps considered large. When you think about it the financial demand on families is more now.

As a child my parents gave us what they could afford. It is not always the case today.

I have four in full time school.

Pros

They have each other to play with. I only have one daughter and sometimes she feels left out.

Learning to delegate the work load. (must be what they are able to do)

We care for them, they care for us in their own way

As we get older we will not be alone, they will come back to visit with their children

It is a wonderful experince watching them grow from the baby stage to 6 9 12 and 15. So rewarding




With the way things are now I do not think a lot of people will have lots of children. Some may but some will not.

Even though I have four children I also childmind 5. So usually there are children around me.





Cons

You seem to pay more for family rooms

Taxing of seven seater car

When eating out (age 12 counted as an adult sometimes

[MUM2BLESS]

Also its important that you have people who are there to help ie your parents.

When my dad was a child he grew up with his parents family around him, being one of 13.

My parents however, did not have has many family around them (7 children)

My siituation is that I had less family very near location wise to me (4 children)

You need to have family/friends to help or a good reliable childminder.

I do not regret having four. How ever many you choose to have you need to ensure that you can give them quality time and manage financially.

I would have gone for no 5 as I really enjoyed pregnancy, not so much the births. BUT its got to be more than you enjoying being pregnant.

Hope that helps.

[Insanitybecomesme]

GaribaldiGirl I only wash so much because I have too believe me, one of my sons is dyspraxic most food and drink seems to miss his mouth, one has excema and her creams get on everything and everywhere, cot bedding etc is washed every couple of days for her.
Another son is awaiting asd diagnosis and at 3yrs4months is still in nappies trouble being he is too big for size6 so wets alot, night time wetting means more bedding! the rest of us are just messy
I sound likean advert not to have a large family really, for almost 11yrs I have constantly had nappies to change, have 3 in nappies at the moment! six children DS1 severe dyslexia, DS2 Dyspraxia, learning difficulties, immature social issues, DD1 possible ADD at present no obvious signs but possible due to birth trauma, DS3 likely ASD is developmentally delayed. DS4 only 13 months so who knows and DD2 severe excema and possible raynards although waiting for pead about that.
still find the pros outweigh the cons honest