son's versus daughters

[hollyfort]

i have 1 girl and 3 boys in that order and have heard lots of stuff about oh! the boys will go off and not keep in contact you blah, blah. Just wonderin from people's experiences is there any truth to that at all or does it all come down to people's experiences? I'd hate to think of my boys growing away from me simply because i'm female and they get more interested in boys stuff!!

[humanoctopus]

My dh talks to his mum more frequently and for longer periods of time than he does with me!

My older boys do seem a little bit more self contained and figure out stuff for themselves without coming to me every couple of minutes for input, unlike my dd.

But they do keep up the contact. I have had to ask them to text and all that if thery are away for anight or out for a whole day. It wouldn't dawn on them otherwise.

I still get cuddles and they tell me things about their day. I put it down to my excellent culinary skills, lol!!!

[perpetuallypregnant]

My Mum has me then 2 DS's.
We are really close, my middle brother lives miles away and although they are actually pretty close they don't speak too often. My youngest brother lives in the same village and is very close to our Mum.

My DH lost his Mum this month :( but he was always on the phone to her and we saw her regularly.

I have the opposite of you, a DS then 3 (soon to be 4) DDs. I really hope my DS doesn't disappear when he's older, I like to think he will stay in touch and we will have a close relationship but I fear he may get pushed out slightly by the demands of all his sisters.

[glassbaublescompletelybroken]

hollyfort I have 3 daughters and 1 son - all grown up now. They all live within a 40 minute drive from me, my 2 eldest daughters have children of their own.

My daughters are much more likely to ring me than my son is but I speak to him at least once a week and see him at least once most weeks. I think you have to make more effort with a son but that's just because women are more likely to make "social" phone calls than men, who mainly call for a reason.

How close you stay will probably depend on how much effort you put in to it but it is definately possible to stay in touch and be close with sons so don't despair! I think you do just have to be realistic about how much effort they will make and don't think they don't care if they don't make all the running - I know my son would be upset if I didn't contact him!

[asdx2]

I have ds's aged 23,21 and 15 and dd's aged 17 and 7. It is the 21 year old ds who I am closest to and who I spend the most time chatting to. I have always found dd 17 difficult to get close to, she is very much like me tbh and quite harsh and the two of us don't bring out the best in each other. I hope this will change as she gets older though.

[MUM2BLESS]

Hi this is an interesting thread.

I am one of seven children. I have five brothers and one sister. This is what I have observed. I call my mum as much as possible. My sister who lives near to my mumm is there almost every day helping mum by shopping etc. My brothers do not call as much. My youngest brother will really fuss over mum when he visits or she goes to his house. He is very charming and caring as a person. My other brothers wil help in different way ie one will do my mums garden, one will take her out for something to eat. We are all very different.

I have b,b,g,b. My boys are very loving towards me. My daughter is also very caring.

I think it depends on the type of child you are dealing with.

You tend to find that the sons may not phone as much but they still care. The daughter may help in a more pratical way and will perhspas phone and visit. more.

[verybusyspider]

I'm starting to think its down to what you expect from your son or daugther and what you want as a parent.
If I'd had a daugther I think I would have looked to replicate the very close relationship I have with my mum and assumed that, based on my brother, whilst sons are close (at the moment he is living with them) they don't chat or phone as much. Its almost like because my mum and I have each other to do 'girlie' days and shopping with my brother doesn't have to fulfil that role and him and my mum do different things together.

I have 3 boys and hope to stay very close to them all, not having ds's and dd's has made me think about the way that would affect our family dynamic. I got sad the other day that I wouldn't have 'girlie' days with any of my ds's but then realised that was stupid why wouldn't they want to go to London, visit a museum and have lunch out when they are older?? if I'd had a daughter maybe I wouldn't have thought about doing that so much with them...

I'm not sure that makes sense but fwiw I get the same comments about sons not being around and it makes me sad, my boys are great people I hope I still get to spent a lot of time with them in the future

[eddiemccready]

My dh is very close to his mum. But then most Irish sons are!