Until what age should they share rooms?

[whatatip]

We have a three bedroom house and four dds, all currently under 6.
We love our house, we love our street and are happy in the area. There aren't affordable 4 beds in the area, but with alterations could make is so we had two bathrooms/showers and another toilet. We could also fit a studio in at the end of the garden, which I think may be alright for oldest dd when/if she goes to uni..?

But up until then my dp and I have been discussing whether it is ok to have them all sharing until they are 18. I shared with my sister until I was 14, but he is an only child and I don't think he has any concept of sharing.

I think we need to make the decision sooner rather than later so we can research secondary schools for dd1, but because we don't actually want to leave here there is quite a lot of inertia and 'oh lets see when the time comes' attitude. Noone is driving anything forward.

What do you think? Those of you with teenagers, would it be awful to get them to share until 18, or if that is just a fact of life might they be ok with it?

[amerryscot]

Huh?

They just share. Having their own room is a luxury.

[alarkaspree]

I know a family of 4 girls who all shared rooms until they left home. They didn't love it all the time, but it was okay I think. There will be times when they complain about it but you have to make compromises and if you love your area it might be a sacrifice worth making.

However I do think you could leave it a few years to make the decision. If your oldest dd is 5 you have a while before she's going to secondary school - schools can change a lot in 5 years.

[whatatip]

amerryscot - yes, that is dp's opinion.

[ItsJustMyOpinion]

My brothers are twins and shared a room until they left home, they had to as I had the other room. It was all fine untill they started bringing girls home.

I have 3 nieces, the two oldest share, and I can imagine will be sharing for the foreseable as my brother and his wife can not afford to move.

[TrillianAstra]

They share rooms until you can afford to have more rooms.

If you can afford to move to get a bigger house it would be nice for them to have their own rooms, but you have to balance it against the pros/cons of the hypothetical other house and other area and other school. It's not as if you are making different sexes share, or making a teenager share with a toddler.

[darleneconnor]

I know people who've shared into their 20s.

Could you put 3 in 1 room and give the eldest some privacy in her teenage years.

Oh, and interest them in unis out with commuting distance.

[whatatip]

Yes, definitely no saving on university costs by having them at home!

[Kendodd]

They just share. Having their own room is a luxury. Agree

Plus if you moved to a four bed house two would have to share and two with own bedroom? At least if they all have to share it's fair.

[CherryTheRedNosedMonster]

my 2 girls share perfectly well. they are 5 and 4, and i think would not like their own rooms as they are very close.

[DandyDan]

Two of mine share and will have to until one leaves for uni. They don't like it but bear it mostly with good grace, but their dearest wish is to have a room of their own. That said, one is away for the next few days on a school trip and the other is saying it will feel strange and they're not sure if they'll like being on their own after all this time.

None of their friends share so they do feel hard done to, in that respect. What can become difficult is if/when the older one wants to bring friends back to chat and stay up late-ish but the other child wants/needs to go to sleep. Or if they have a boyfriend (and you allow them to be in the room together for a bit of private time). Or on sleepovers - one has to vacate the room and sleep elsewhere on a put-you-up so the other can enjoy the sleepover (and fit their friends in).

I think it's perfectly possible, but it does require management - of mess (shared rooms get twice as messy twice as quickly), organisation (fitting in all their possessions so they don't feel really squeezed), having effective "zones" which are theirs and which feel personal and unique to them, and teaching them sensitivity to each other's needs, and how to manage conflict when they're essentially trapped in a small space (using earphones for music, not using each other's things without asking etc).

[mamadiva]

I shared a room with my brother from the age of 8 (when he was born) until I moved out at 16, people thought it was odd me sharing witha boy apparently but heyho... with 4 DD's definately not an issue!

It did annoy me sometimes like when I wanted to bring my friend in but could'nt because his friends were in and would annoy the hell out of us because of they were so young but again with a small age gap it should'nt really be an issue.

What do you use the 3rd room for? Could you maybe turn that into a play room or a bedroom for 2 DD's if it came to it/

I would say until they start fighting like a pack of wild dogs tehy should be fine in 1 room though :o

[ellenjames]

my two boys will always share, we rent and prob will do always, and would never be able to afford to rent a 4 bed house.

[welshandproud]

We are in a similar position with 2DDs and 2DSs in a 3 bed house.At the moment eldest DD(12) has her own small room, DD2(3) and DS1(2) share a large room and DS2(15months) is still in a cot in our room.I feel that 8years is too big an age gap for DDs to share but that means soon 2DSs and DD will need to share together. At what age does it become inappropriate for DSs and DD to share?

[DandyDan]

When your daughter is about ten, I'd say. Body-consciousness around then and being in the last year of primary school - I think if at all possible, you'd try to make sure the girl had her own room at that point. But by then your older girl may have left for university, so most of the year, there will be a room available.