Where do I start.......
I was pregnant at the beginning of the year....already have 2DC, always wanted a 3rd...had a bit of a bad time with 2ndDC...EMCS with bleed after..always been really scared of doing it all again but at the same time couldn't imgaine not having 3 DC.
I don't know what happended other than as each day went past my anxiety over having another baby and the birth just got worse and worse. When I got to 6 weeks I just lost the plot with anxiety....couldn't sleep or eat...lost half a stone in just over a week...I was a mess, crying all the time.
I could go on & on trying to explain myself but the outcome was at just over 7 weeks I had a medical termination.
Now the anxiety has gone I realise that maybe if I had seen someone at the time I might have just got through it and got the anxiety under control... I just acted in panic...I just can't understand what happened, I am normally a very sensible level headed person.
To make matters even worse the feeling of wanting another baby is still there...getting stonger every day..
How do I live with my decision, how do I move on...accept what I have done..I fully accept that by posting on here I will be judged and not nicely but maybe it is only what I deserve.
I had some counselling booked but I cancelled it as I can't see how I can sit in front of someone I don't know and admit what I have done.
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After everything still yearning for 3DC
1 reply
Natasha1 · 21/10/2010 14:57
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