The All Things Donor Conception Thread

(398 Posts)
foxinorangesocks Tue 03-Jun-14 20:03:37

Thought I'd start an ongoing thread for all mnetters that are having, thinking about having or have had treatment using donor eggs or sperm or who are considering/have been a donor. Come and talk about all stages of using or being a donor, from exploring the idea of donor conception and pursuing treatment (or not) to parenting donor conceived children or being a donor- all in a supportive and encouraging space. Whilst I say All Things - this is NOT meant to be a thread for expressing concerns over the ethics/morals of donor conception in negative/forceful/hurtful ways. Please start a thread elsewhere for this.

foxinorangesocks Tue 03-Jun-14 20:06:48

To kick off, I am fox and about to start downregging for first cycle of de after a rather disastrous three and half years in the word of TRYING. Dh is fine, I have v low afc and borderline fsh. First de with own eggs produced only two follicles on max dosage of menopur, one vanished half way through and the other ovulated itself a few hours before ec. What a bust. Chances of less than 5 per cent made is decide to crack on with de ivf. I am 37 now. Scratch end of the week...

Lauren83 Tue 03-Jun-14 22:14:09

Nice one fox

Here's my story...

Ttc 7 years altogether I'm 30, I had multiple surgeries for stage 4 endo to get me ready for ivf last year, first cycle Aug 2013 got 4 eggs with 100% fertilisation, double transfer non to freeze BFN.
Dec 2013 2nd cycle cancelled due to AMH of 2 and FSH now 23, diagnosed pof/early menopause so our nhs clinic discharged us and we had to apply to transfer funding as they didn't do donor treatment where I was (St Mary's Manchester) I'm now at Care Manchester for an unknown donor cycle and we got matched last month, had a scratch and started down reg 2 weeks ago

Be nice to get some donor buddies

Kannet Tue 03-Jun-14 22:22:58

I have been trying for 6 years. I'm. 33. The dr thinks it might be a genetic mismatch. Had a lids of tests. The results should be through in three weeks. All being well we will be getting donor eggs from Spain . It's been a big decision but at least there seems to be light at the end of a long tunnel

suzylee73 Wed 04-Jun-14 12:11:20

Hi ladies smile

We have been trying for 6 years and after several ops to repair damaged tubes and eventual removal we had a failed IVF sad The years have ticked on by and now at 41 the decision to use a donor egg was a hard one but it will give us the best chance of success.

Having treatment in Poland and we are just waiting for a donor match.

wishing us all some good luck and a BFP :D

foxinorangesocks Wed 04-Jun-14 20:12:03

Good to see people here smile but gosh what journeys we've had. Infertility is one of the hardest things I've experienced, I think because the end point is so hard to see and to be in control of. Here's to being in with good odds.

resipsa Wed 04-Jun-14 22:12:50

Have had two DE cycles - 1 fresh, 1 frozen - both resulted in BFPs and, sadly, both ended in m/c at about 6 weeks. I thought that I had the golden ticket (twice!) but didn't. Wishing you all better luck than me.

resipsa Wed 04-Jun-14 22:15:53

PS Plan was not to pour cold water on your hope but rather to urge you to think of DEs like others are told to view OEs. Aim for success in 3 cycles and don't get down if it doesn't work first time.

foxinorangesocks Wed 04-Jun-14 22:32:00

Thanks resispa. We met once on the egg buddies thread before Christmas and I'm so sorry to hear that de hasn't been the answer for you yet. Are you going to do another cycle? I am most definitely stepping into this both super cautiously and very much willing it to work. Managing hope and buffering against disappointments is so difficult. I feel if I'm not hopeful at all then the whole experience is even more wretched but allowing myself to be hopeful can make the crash of a failure so much more painful. Hard times. Plus shiploads of hormones. Who'd be fertility challenged?!

resipsa Wed 04-Jun-14 22:42:30

Hi Fox. No more for me, we're done (emotionally and financially). The 2nd m/c was the day after seeing a heartbeat. I could not do that again. We have a DD (age 3 and conceived w/o assistance). If we decide that we can cope, we'll adopt DC2.

foxinorangesocks Fri 06-Jun-14 10:52:03

Oh resispa that is so unfair and tough. I hope you are starting to feel a bit more ok. Good luck with next plans.

I just had my scratch. I took Co coda mol beforehand which made it painless, just like a long (and with my kinked cervix make that super long) uncomfy smear. Very glad it's done.

Lauren how goes it?

Lauren83 Fri 06-Jun-14 11:08:12

Who did it Fox? I'm worried about mine as it took forever to get in and I never felt anything, I had no spotting either, he said he 'thinks' he did it. They couldn't see as I couldn't fill my bladder.

The other recipient only just got her AF a couple of days ago so that's delayed us a bit, I'm next there fri 13th be so good if we were there same day

Hi everyone else!

foxinorangesocks Fri 06-Jun-14 11:22:45

I don't know, I've not seen him before. He had mousey grey hair and was nice enough. I felt it a bit, not pain but a draggy feeling. No spotting for me either. Maybe they don't go in for aggressive scratching?! I do have period type pains now. I'm sure yours will have gone in. My tilted womb made it an arse for him I think. It took about 15 minutes to get through. I am supposed to get my period on fri 13th so will be starting downregging then. What a date! It felt odd today that all the staff presumed I'd have had that procedure or embryo transfer before. Just shows how few people strike it lucky first time. Is next week a scan for you?

Pinki26 Fri 06-Jun-14 16:37:12

Hi, I just wanted to post to hopefully give you some hope. Following more than 8 years of trying for a baby, numerous tests, pcos, variable sperm count, miscarriage at 13 weeks and 4 rounds of ivf, I am now sitting here with 3week old twin girls.
Thanks to a wonderful clinic in Spain who didn't give up hope on me like the NHS did and a lovely lady who kindly (and anonymously) donated her eggs, I had 2 frozen embryos implanted and my dream is now a reality.

It cost a fair bit of money not to mention the emotional rollercoster but was well worth it.
I just want to say, don't give up however difficult it gets. Keep believing it will happen. Good luck to you all

Lauren83 Fri 06-Jun-14 17:46:53

pinki thanks so much for posting, gives us all hope! And congrats, sounds like you had a rough ride with it all

Fox I had Glenn Atkinson, tall balding head roundish face, he is medical director they said, nice chap.

They also had to use a tiny catheter after starting with a normal one and changing 3 times so I'm convinced even if they got in it wouldn't of done much, funny Fri 13th is key for us both, it's my first down reg scan to check everything's gone ok. So you are 21 days behind me aren't you if you start then, be so good if we can be bump buddies won't it x

foxinorangesocks Sat 07-Jun-14 10:53:41

He is the cons I normally have seen Lauren, he's always been very nice. Do you have a rough idea about embryo transfer timings?

foxinorangesocks Sat 07-Jun-14 10:55:05

Thank too pinki. Twin girls smile have you told people about using donor eggs?

Lauren83 Sat 07-Jun-14 11:28:40

I had Mr Patel, I think about 7th July at a guess, when will yours be roughly?

foxinorangesocks Sat 07-Jun-14 11:31:09

They said the back end of July which makes sense if I'm three weeks behind you. Are downregging symptoms getting any better? Also, are you using embryo glue? I haven't even thought to ask about that (nor understand what it is really)

Lauren83 Sat 07-Jun-14 12:12:02

I have felt a little better yes just dead tired, I considered the glue but haven't gone with it, my understanding is its an enzyme that occurs naturally but dipping it in the 'glue' creates higher levels or something, its not glue as in sticky glue

Do you think it's worth it?

foxinorangesocks Sun 08-Jun-14 22:00:09

I think I'm going to ask about it. I think it's about £100 so in the grand scheme of things... I'm cd 24 now. I can just imagine this will be the one month my period is late and I wont even be able to get excited as we didn't try this month because of the scratch!

Lauren83 Sun 08-Jun-14 23:52:02

I think it's £90 or £95 but then I though is that per embie? I'm undecided let me know you what you decide

The tiredness has lifted now at least a little, roll on July! X

foxinorangesocks Mon 09-Jun-14 19:49:57

I think I am going to ask for it Lauren, every little helps right?! Glad you're feeling less tired. I have cramps today so wondering if af is going to come a bit early. Maybe the scratch has done it blush

sideshowbob2 Mon 09-Jun-14 20:19:13

hi everyone recommended to come on here by foxinorangesocks. the story so far is, i am 36 this year, i have worked with children for over 2 years so meeting men isn't easy, just haven't found a life partner yet!!
i had all tests and tube scan last year and they found out i had a tilted womb, then amh levels were low so had DHEA medication for nearly 6 months, changed clinics because the consultant retired and they lost their only approved nurse, new clinic is great had my 1st appointment on 12th april and after a long discussion decided to start treatment using donor egg and donor sperm, then had the scratch and started down reg injections on 27th may, unfortunately the bleed i was supposed to have still hasn't arrived to we are all waiting now!! was supposed to have baseline scan last wednesday 4th june, so just waiting!!
i was going to have the glue when i get to that stage!

foxinorangesocks Mon 09-Jun-14 20:41:31

Glad you've joined us smile what has the clinic suggested about the waiting?

sideshowbob2 Mon 09-Jun-14 21:51:11

the clinic just said to stay on 0.5 injections and ring them when i come on, spoke to my best friend and she thinks i'll come on by the end of the week because i'm ratty and argumentative, been best friends for 16 years and she knows me well and has been coming to all the appointments too!! so fingers crossed!!

foxinorangesocks Thu 12-Jun-14 07:02:07

Right, period due today and no sign of the bugger. After three and a half years I WANT it to come and nothing. Grumble!

sideshowbob2 Thu 12-Jun-14 19:03:57

mine has finally arrived!! so now booked in for scan in the morning, so fingers crossed everything's all back on track now!!

foxinorangesocks Thu 12-Jun-14 22:15:55

I'm spotting! Hurray!its very nice to he happy to see spotting has arrived smile it must be the full moon sideshow.

sideshowbob2 Fri 13-Jun-14 17:41:21

ahh thats great news foxinorangesocks, i had my baseline scan this morning so had to reduce my injection to 0.25 and take the 3 times a day tablet, now everything is back on track and next scan is booked for thursday!!!

foxinorangesocks Fri 13-Jun-14 18:57:29

How are the drugs making you feel bob? First one for me tomorrow. Mixed emotions!

sideshowbob2 Fri 13-Jun-14 21:02:41

are you doing injections?? at first i was petrified of the injections never thought i would be able to inject myself and my best friend was going to come round and help me do the first one but i had a chat with myself and decided that i needed to be brave and stop acting like a wally as if wanted a child of my own i just needed to man up!!!
when my friend saw me and i told i had already done the injection she was like omg how as i was so nervous the night before, but from somewhere some courage just appeared and i've been fine ever since!! i bruise really badly anyway and after the first couple i bruise more or less every time i inject now, but not long to go now, as i got my new schedule today with all my next scan dates and estimated date of embryo transfer!!
p.s i always try and do my injection straight after i've brushed my teeth every morning that way i'm still not quite awake and it usually doesn't hurt too much, also rotate your injection sites from tops of thighs to fattest parts of your tummy, so therefore you then have 4 different places to inject!! good luck!!

ZippyBopit Sat 14-Jun-14 20:06:16

Hi Fox I was so thrilled when you started this thread as although I haven't yet totally given up on my own eggs (although I probably should) it seems after 2 dismal responses to ivf stimulation that I cant help but look forward to other options.

I'm quite conflicted over donor eggs, one minute at my lowest ebb feeling like I didn't want to be part of a world that didn't want my genetics carried over in it, to feeling like it's maybe not such a big deal that I'm making it out to be and that I should at least try in the hope that I would be blessed enough in my life to experience pregnancy, childbirth and the nurturing of a small baby even if it wasn't fully mine (Sometimes the ache is so strong that this point seems irrelevant).

My mother died when I was 16 and I had always hoped that when I had my own child that I would perhaps see her in them to some degree. With DE it would however be my lovely husbands and I would grow it and in reality at this stage when the option is not to have any child, how important is genetics?

I'm nervous about posting this as I don't want bring any negativity. I'm actually looking for some positivity in how people moved forward to DE and how they feel about it? How much does it matter? Will you all be/ have you all been open about DE to everyone? Family, friends, work colleagues? I feel a certain amount of shame in being unable to reproduce naturally but I know that's my problem and I should perhaps be a bit more grown up about it and accept that it's not a personal failure just a biological one I have no control over.

I'm glad that you and sideshow have finally started so you can get underway smile I'm excited for you both. I'm not sure if you'll remember but we met briefly on the 10+ thread and I'm so hopeful for you. I know you will make a brilliant mother and I so hope this is the cycle for you.. Your posts always hit home with me and I really appreciate you sharing what you do. It makes me feel less alone as I identify with you so much. smile

sideshow I was the same about the injections and a total wobbly mess every time the first cycle. It just seems so wrong that someone would think me capable of doing it right! The second cycle though, the first injection was in a hurry as I was trying to keep future timings correct and had to do it right before leaving for a works night out and for some reason doing it in such a hurry made it 'less of a thing' that I had worked myself up to. It was more important I made it to the 'do' on time. From then on I was ok with it. Perhaps the adrenalin of rushing made me care less? I also chose to use the tummy as opposed to the upper thigh with the previous round. This seemed in concept to freak me out more but in reality was much easier (more flesh? I'm quite thin?). Only sharing in case this is useful to others.

Finally Pinki thank you so much for sharing smile, I am close to trying for the same length of time as you and this is such a boost to know that you finally got there. I feel like the lack of belief and negativity of my NHS doc is dragging me down. There is also a 2 year waiting list for donor eggs in Scotland (at my clinic) so abroad seems like a more feasible option. It's heartening to know it works smile

Sorry for the mammoth post! x

sideshowbob2 Sat 14-Jun-14 21:58:57

ZippyBopit thanks for your post having worked with children and looked after and lived with 2 of my close friends both with children of there own i have realised that children come to be just like their primary carer whether that is there parent or not, as one of my friends worked away alot so i cared for her son while she was away, the longest time was 3 weeks, he was fine with me and he still to this day remembers everything we did while his mum worked away, he also refers to me as his auntie although we are not biologically related, my friend his mum used to say any time i went to work with out him he would be chasing me out the door as he wanted to come to even he had been fast asleep as i left!! while i was at work he would came out with things that only i say and also some of quirky ways as my friend used to say!!
also my other friend and her son have just been over and again my friends son calls me auntie too although not biologically related, he has been helping me with me garden today and was not happy that the man upstairs has still not done his garden since the last time he was over and my nephew asked me if he could go upstairs and have a word with him, i said no to start with as i didn't want any trouble but my nephew asked again he said i won't be rude to him just ask him politely to sort his garden out, so he went up there and he did politely ask my neighbour to sort his garden out, when he came back i thanked him and he turned to me and said you have done so much for me over the years, its no problem, he is 17 and the most wonderful nephew i have, even to just day he still likes to sit on the sofa and have a cuddle even though he's much taller and stronger than me!!
so in answer to my donor eggs not being biologically mine i don't think it really matters, its how you model to your child, how you bring them up, how you teach them, how you show them and how you love them that makes them yours!! as i love all my nephews and they love me and always will!!
hopefully one day we will all have our own beautiful babies we just had to go down a different path to get there!!

ZippyBopit Sat 14-Jun-14 23:08:00

Oh Sideshow you have totally make me cry. In a good way, a therapeutic way. Thank you so much for sharing that perspective.

What has made me cling to the genetic angle is that my mother gave up her first born son for adoption in the sixties in difficult circumstances. I found out about it when I was 16, right before she died so I can't discuss it with her now, but when I met him years later I was struck with how much of her was in him , physically, ideology wise, gesticulations, it was very weird having had no contact with her.

You have given me a vision that despite this genetic dis-connection that I can still see my mother through my child, through me, through my relationship with the child.
When I was talking with my sister about the importance of genetics she seemed surprised that this was my main concern (we were playing with what was important). She has 2 teenagers and she said her main desire was to 'be a mother' as our mother had been. To take the lessons she had been shown, to enact as our mother had. That was an eye-opener too.

This is all so helpful and eye-opening and thought provoking. These are just the perspectives I needed, thank you. Just the kind of input I needed in order to move forward. Thank you so much for taking the time to share smile it really means a lot.

Lauren83 Sat 14-Jun-14 23:17:58

Will catch up properly tomorrow but had my first DR scan yesterday it wasn't good, I had a thick lining when I shouldn't of so they have given me meds to induce a bleed, 3 a day for 8 days then scan again in 16 days hopefully will of shed my lining, best case scenario delayed us 3 weeks, worst could end up cancelling

They asked had been injecting properly! Also had swollen ovaries with cyst so I def haven't responded to the meds

Fox hope you're ok x

sideshowbob2 Sun 15-Jun-14 09:10:16

thats no problem ZippyBopit, i came on here to talk to people who are going through the same things as me!
my fingers are crossed for you Lauren83!

foxinorangesocks Sun 15-Jun-14 19:02:41

Oh Lauren how frustrating for you, there are so many roadblocks! I am sure that the cysts will go, is it that that is causing the lining to stay thick? I can imagine you feel totally fed up about it and the delay - I'll be catching you up! Have a moan on here if it helps.

Zipity I remember you, what a lovely post. That is exactly why I started this thread, to be more than a cycle buddy thread but an ongoing discussion space for as long as I am in the donor world (fingers crossed forever). I gave up on my eggs very quickly as my response was so very poor on very high doses of menopur, I simply don't respond to the meds. Who knows if I'll respond to downregging either. I decided that rather than flog at it for endless cycles with a 5% chance, I'd put myself on a level playing field. It is not an easy decision and I can so understand about your mum. I lost my beloved grandad very suddenly and I see him in my nephew and it is lovely. However, my other nephew looks nothing like him. Or like his dad or mum. There are quite a few things I think that helped me make the switch. Hope you don't mind me getting it down.

1) I still want to experience pregnancy and for dh to have a biological child.
2) With genes, you never know what you are going to get. Watching my nephews and just thinking about family and friends, there is no rhyme nor reason sometimes about looks and traits.
3)I love my pet to pieces. He isn't even human.
4) There are good support networks out there such as donor conception network and I will join that and become very involved if this all works. It makes me feel that there is a community my family can become part of where we are understood and advised when needed. In some ways I think I would feel that out family has a 'special' dimension. Many families do, in many different ways. And some days I can feel excited about that.

That is not to say I always feel chuffed about it. I don't. I have spent the past 6 months grieving in a very deep way. But grief evolves and you learn to be with it I think. It does still catch me out, often if I'm honest. I think spend some time on this thread, talking things through if it helps. Sometimes you have to test ideas out in your head and see how they feel. You might want to have another go at ivf with your eggs and it could well work! I think if I had finances to throw at it and could spend time in London, I could well get there with my eggs. But I just want to move on and leave this infertility chapter behind.

wave to sideshow. My first dr jab has made my period stop entirely after 2 days. Menopur did the same and that didn't end well so I am being a worry wart. It also makes me feel exactly the same as menopur, spaced out and brain fogged. That did go away after a couple of days so fingers crossed.

ZippyBopit Mon 16-Jun-14 20:37:27

Fox I love that you put your thoughts down, thank you! I really laughed at the pet comment. It's a thought I've had myself too!! smile I love my two moggies and they are such different characters too (I'm sure one takes after me and the other after my husband.... wink). I'm sorry about your grandad. I'm sure your child will love him too through the stories you tell x

I totally hear you on the grief. It's been very gradual over a long period of time, so just started with the fear and dread and panic that it might never happen for us, to almost hyperventilating when I got my low amh result, to out and out nutty, primal, scary sobbing like I've never experienced. I actually feel like I'm over the worst. I don't know if I've finished trying with my own eggs but I know I'm going to hit a wall of negativity from my fc at my review app next week. I was given a 1-5% chance of success with my own eggs before so...not really sure what my plan is at the moment.
Are you having de on the NHS? I am in Scotland and was told unless we recruit someone ourselves, the waiting list is 2 years long shock.

I totally understand your thoughts on a family with a 'special' dimension. There are some times when the thoughts of a family mixed with de (so I can experience pregnancy and my husband has a genetic child) and adopted children makes me actually feel excited. It's not how I've pictured it happening, but it's actually a pretty cool picture. I've always felt a bit bohemian, why should this aspect of my life break the mould! I should just embrace it!

Are you in the DR part of your cycle? I hope the drug effects have lessened and everything is going as it should x

Lauren I'm sorry your body isn't doing what's expected right now. Every part of this is stressful and frustrating so I really sympathise. I hope everything is going to plan now x

toodaloo Tue 17-Jun-14 15:56:26

Hi, hope it's ok to join!

It's a looooong backstory but in essence I will need to use donor sperm. How on earth do I choose a clinic? I have googled but they all seem to offer and promise similar things. Do I visit a few and go with the one I feel most comfortable with? I don't know where to start really.

Also, the counsellor (we are having couples counselling) said that I may be able to get my NHS funding transferred to a private clinic (although unlikely). Do I need to go to my GP or write to the CCG? Again, googling has left me confused!

Lots of questions sorry and thanks in advance.

sideshowbob2 Tue 17-Jun-14 17:48:14

you can get lots of advise and help from your gp, as you can get some of your blood test done through the gp and if you need up to date sti blood tests they can refer you to the right place, again the gp will be able to recommend local clinic's and also whether you can get any of your treatment done through the nhs or not!!
hope this helps!!

toodaloo Tue 17-Jun-14 20:55:38

Thanks for your reply. Sorry if I wasn't clear, we've had all the fertility investigations and it is a problem with DH. He doesn't want to take it any further which means I will need to have treatment as a single woman and go private. So it's hard to know which clinic is bed etc..

sideshowbob2 Wed 18-Jun-14 16:53:18

london womans health in harley street is good also argc in london, depends where you live, but most clinic's do open evening's so try to go to a few that are local to you and then go from there, print off each clinic's price list and go from there!
i'm under hert and essex fertility clinic but go to there local clinic until my implantation date, as the ivf centre is in the process of being built, i like it there as it's new local to me and very quick and through!!

sideshowbob2 Wed 18-Jun-14 16:54:57

p.s toodaloo, do you know anyone that has already had any fertility treatment, as a recommendation from someone who's already used a fertility clinic is also a great place to start

foxinorangesocks Thu 19-Jun-14 09:52:02

Zipity I am having treatment on the nhs with a private clinic and I'm very grateful for having this opportunity. Would you still have that kind of wait privately? There are excellent options abroad. I wish you lots of luck with your next apt, let us know how it goes.

Toodaloo, I would do lots of online research and maybe visit open days. Fertility friends has vast amounts of info on details like this. Having confidence in your clinic makes things feel a lot more positive. How are you and dh feeling about things?

Lauren I hope you are doing ok.

Downregging is making me bone tired. I feel like I'm running a race with no finish line.

sideshowbob2 Thu 19-Jun-14 20:06:49

foxinorangesocks, i totally agree with the tiredness problem, i have been on the tablets since friday and .25 injections, and now i'm totally exhausted, two bad nights sleep in a row as well, do find the medication is making you wake up more in the night for the loo or is it just me, thinking of going to bed already as i'm just exhausted!!
btw what is fertility friends?? i've not heard of it before

foxinorangesocks Thu 19-Jun-14 21:40:03

I am weeing LOADS! Ff is a website for things fertility related, especially fertility ishoos. So so much specific in depth knowledge and advice on there. It can make me a bit depressed sometimes though!

sideshowbob2 Fri 20-Jun-14 17:23:28

foxinorangesocks ok thanks i may take a look at Ff then, but no today, feeling really low and tired, yes i have noticed that i can't stop going to the loo too, hate waking up in the night to go but just don't seem to be able to hold it during the night anymore, these drugs do make me feel quite weird at times!!

Lauren83 Sat 21-Jun-14 16:09:08

Do check FF out, I'm a trainee staff member on their.

Fox you ok? And hi everyone else!

Sorry not been on much I'm 30 days DR and really struggling, stopped my notheristerone yesterday so hopefully get rid of this lining I shouldn't have and start again x

sideshowbob2 Sat 21-Jun-14 18:28:04

thanks Lauren83 i will have a look on FF, i'm ok had a bit of a panic yesterday as i will run out of needles in a few days, as it took my period so long to appear, so got some more from the clinic on thursday, when i looked at them yesterday morning the needle was longer and they only go up in .10, so was on the phone with the nurse yesterday and she is going to try and sort out some nice small needles the same as the ones i already have when i go for my scan on monday evening, think it will be my last scan before my implantation date as well!! ekk starting to get to the important part!

i've been really tired and suffering with awful hayfever and also waking up in the night for the loo but then not being able to get back to sleep, i have suffered with sleep problems before due to having bells palsy and having to use amitryptline for many years due to awful post pain in my face especially when i'm tired, not able to take it since last year as starting treatment. hope you are ok??

also going to look at a new car in the morning, i have a nissan juke and i have been offered a new shape one as part of a vip event, i don't know whether to get a new one or not??? mine will be 4 years old on 29th september and is all paid for!! on one hand i will have a new car with some h.p to pay for maybe a year a year and a half but on the other hand i could get pregnant and will have a baby to pay for so really don't know what to do?? what do you guys think??

Lauren83 Sat 21-Jun-14 20:52:33

I used to take amitriptyline too, would sleep like a baby on it!

With regards to the bladder I actual that's overactive bladder and I went on meds for it this week, I pee 30-40 times a day its a nightmare!

That's stress you don't need with the needles too, if you go on FF keep an eye out for be my user names Lilly83

I would go for the car! Might be the last chance you have to do it, I have been putting stuff on hold for 7 years, plus in 9 months you will of paid a big chunk off x

Lauren83 Sat 21-Jun-14 20:55:20

Toodaloo

I transferred over from an nhs clinic to a private as I needed donor and the nhs clinic couldn't provide it, I will tell you the process if you still want to know?

sideshowbob2 Mon 23-Jun-14 20:03:39

good news everyone!! i have a transfer date!! egg collection is on thursday for my egg donor, so earlier transfer for me is saturday, just got to wait for the phone call on thursday to find out how many eggs i have!
how is everyone else??

foxinorangesocks Mon 23-Jun-14 20:13:05

Sideshow that is fantastic news! Do you stop downregging now?

Lauren, keep going lovely. When is your next scan?

sideshowbob2 Mon 23-Jun-14 20:43:25

stop injections on wednesday morning and start pessaries on wednesday night, also got to start 8mg a day of the progynova tablets from today instead of 6mg!
i little excited now, but very very nervous!!

foxinorangesocks Mon 23-Jun-14 20:51:01

The good thing about cheering on other people is you just get to be excited for them sideshow but I totally get that it is a super nervous time. Wishing you loads of luck and that you get to christen the thread with our first bfp smile

Hi everyone

I am just starting out with donor eggs and was looking for other people in similar situations

I'm no stranger to IVF and have a 3 year old DD who was conceived on our 7th IVF cycle and have had a further 4 unsuccessful rounds since DD was born

This will hopefully be our last shot at having a sibling for DD

Lauren83 Tue 24-Jun-14 13:47:15

Hello

Great news sideshow I will keep everything crossed

fox how are you? The tablets worked I'm there wed to check if I'm DR this time

you're welcome! And congrats on your DD

camillebbmvalez12345 Tue 24-Jun-14 18:57:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

foxinorangesocks Tue 24-Jun-14 20:42:17

Mm I do love me a good spell. If only I'd contacted a spell caster before! Please go away spell lady or fear my wrath.

Lauren hope things are all moving in the right direction. I'm day 11 dr now and have ewcm. I don't think that's good news. I did have bleeding again all over the weekend. Poor body.

Welcome Dave (struggled to shorten name!) you have had an epic journey and I'm glad you had your baby but what a tough road before and since. Nestle in here for some company.

Bob how goes it?

Lauren83 Tue 24-Jun-14 20:45:57

Fox I had that, loads of it, is it a bad sign? I will know tomorrow what's going on I guess x

foxinorangesocks Tue 24-Jun-14 21:54:37

I think I just presumed everything would dry up and switch off?! But it feels like I'm gearing up to ovulate. I do feel crap so the drugs are def going in. Who knows. Huge luck tomorrow, things can change so fast x

sideshowbob2 Wed 25-Jun-14 18:59:32

hi everyone, bit nervous about these pessaries, first one tonight, i've never used tampons, so do you guys have any tips??
will be here tomorrow at somepoint as its egg collection at 9.30am, so again excited and nervous all rolled into one!!
also my birthday tomorrow and we have ofsted at my school today and tomorrow so its all go at the moment!!
hope you are all ok??

foxinorangesocks Wed 25-Jun-14 20:07:26

That is one busy old time. I think the only way is to just push it up there! They can be a bit 'leaky' so wear a liner would be my advice. It will be ok. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow and with ofsted (I know the feeling well).

sideshowbob2 Wed 25-Jun-14 21:03:23

thanks fox, i was warned that they leak/discharge so i have a liner on!! just hoping i did it right!!
do you work in education too??

foxinorangesocks Wed 25-Jun-14 21:12:40

I do indeed. Knackering! You must be exhausted. Do you get a phone call telling you about egg collection tomorrow?

sideshowbob2 Thu 26-Jun-14 07:03:38

yes i am knackered, luckily i'm not a teacher with all the paperwork and stress, i'm an LST(learning support teacher) as we call them in my school, currently i'm in year 1 working with a lovely little lad with high functioning ASD in the mornings, then i work with a year 4 lad with severe S+L difficulties and mild ASD in the afternoons and also i run some intervention groups in the afternoons too!!
and yes i get the call about egg collection this afternoon, as i only get a half hour lunch break today!! scared and nervous and excited all rolled into one!!!
been awake since 5.15am, but at least i didn't wake up at 2.30am for the toilet and then not go back to sleep as that what usually happens!!
at least i don't have too much planned tonight, just a take-away curry with my best friend that has been coming to all my clinic appointments!!
what age do work with fox??

foxinorangesocks Thu 26-Jun-14 07:36:29

I'm excited for you! Will check for update later. Out if interest what drugs are you taking now? Prog and estrogen? Did you stop the buserelin? I've worked with all sorts of ages 4-20 but mostly early years. Won't say much more for fear of outing myself smile

Lauren hope scanning goes well (I think it was today)

HowsTheSerenity Thu 26-Jun-14 07:55:37

Hi
Can I ask a quick question?
DH and I are starting IVF next month. I'm still trying to figure out all the ins and outs. If we have left over eggs/embryos that we decide not to use (after we hopefully get our family) are they able to be donated. I know eggs can be but what about an embryo?

sideshowbob2 Thu 26-Jun-14 16:58:15

hi everyone i had 6 eggs and 4 were mature enough to be used, so now got to wait until tomorrow to see what happens to them!!
fox i took my last buserelin yesterday morning and my first pessarie yesterday night and increased the progynova tablets from 3 x 2mg a day to 4 x 2mg a day, not sure which are prog or estrogen to be honest i'm new to this game!! sorry just know i have to take the pessaries and tablets til pregnancy test day, if pregnant i have to continue taking both until 12 weeks.
hope you are all well!!

ControlGeek Fri 27-Jun-14 13:26:55

Hello, may I join you please? I don't really feel like I belong in any of the 'normal' ttc groups any more. All the friends I have made there have either had their dcs (some are 1-2 years old now) or have made the decision to stop ttc.

My potted history - DP and I have been ttc for 13 years, his sperm are knackered and I've got a rake of issues that may or may not affect my eggs - the consultant couldn't make his mind up. I've had two failed IVFs with OE/OS but we've decided now that we have exhausted our NHS funding we want to put our money into the thing that will give us the very best shot of success, so we are going to Spain for Embryo Donation. We had our initial consultation with the Spanish clinic via Skype this morning, and hope to do ET on my next cycle, which is due to start end of July.

sideshowbob2 Fri 27-Jun-14 16:52:57

hi everyone all 4 survived the night and growing nicely, so we will see what happens in the morning, barely had any sleep the last few days, due to excitement, nerves and stupid Ofsted, but all good now as i spoke to my boss today and she was really positive too!! fingers crossed!!
how are you all and welcome control geek, why are you going all the way to spain for treatment??
i'm using donor sperm and donor eggs in a local essex clinic

ControlGeek Fri 27-Jun-14 17:22:22

Well done on your 4 sideshow! My local clinic kept going on about five year waits for donor eggs, two year waits for donor sperm and at least 5 year waits for donor embies. Spain can do everything immediately for about half the cost. Because we're going for embies we also don't need to worry about donor timing, donor meds or how many eggs will get retrieved/fertilised/make it through each night. We're jumping straight to the end point with a guarantee of two good quality embies being transferred. Hope that makes sense.

sideshowbob2 Fri 27-Jun-14 18:20:42

thanks!! wow is that more expensive to skip all those stages??
as my ivf cycle started on may 27th and i'm nearly at transplant stage now and the team that care for me at my local clinic have been brilliant all the way through, the main lady is actually on call all weekend and i just spoke to her!! is your spanish clinic an english speaking one??

ControlGeek Fri 27-Jun-14 18:59:35

Oh blimey, so you've had a whole month of torment then. Was it difficult to synch your body up with your donor's?

Thankfully everyone in my care team at the Spanish clinic all speak English, and the clinic itself is officially partnered with my UK clinic where my scans will take place. The original price quoted for the procedure was 3000 euros but they have various options including paying more, but then getting a refund in the event of a failed cycle. I'm just waiting to hear more about those. I think it's kept low because the embies were created as part of another person's cycle, so I have no med costs etc to cover, no scans for the donor, the embies are already sitting there on ice waiting for me.

sideshowbob2 Fri 27-Jun-14 19:40:36

no it wasn't too difficult, there was a hairy moment in the middle when i didn't get my with drawl bleed for ages after i came off the pill but it all worked out in the end, off to bed now as i'm exhausted, talk later!!

Camsie30 Fri 27-Jun-14 19:49:39

Hello, have just seen this thread and thought I'd join in if thats ok? I'm 36 and single, have always wanted to be a mother, but haven't been lucky enough to meet the right guy. So I decided that I couldn't wait any longer, and started to investigate treatment. Had all of the tests, to find that my AMH was only 4 - time was not on my side.

Choosing a sperm donor was weird. And kind of fun. I had quite difficult limitations - I really wanted a Jewish donor, and am CMV positive. The pool was small, but I was so lucky to find a perfect fit at Fairfax in the US.

First round of assisted IUI didn't work, which I wasn't at all surprised by. I'm happy to say that round 2 was successful and today I am 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant! I'm so so happy and excited. Luckily I have a very close relationship with my parents, who are so supportive and excited too. Really looking forward to my 12 week scan next week so that I can tell my friends and other family.

I'm really lucky to have made a new friend who has done exactly the same as me and has a beautiful 6 month old daughter. She's been an amazing support and our friendship is growing.

For anyone in my position, all I can say is go for it. My life is already changed, and I can't wait for the moment I become a Mummy.

Camsie xx

sideshowbob2 Sat 28-Jun-14 06:39:02

Camsie30, 36 must be a magic number as i turned 36 on thursday and this was also the day of my egg donor collection, as my AMH was less than 0. something and went up to 2 with the help of some DHEA but my FSH has been going up over the last year, which in turn affected my whole ovarian reserve and my consultant recommended not using my eggs because of this, as when i have my follicle count that is also low, he said my best chance was with donor eggs, my womb is perfect but tilted which isn't a problem, i too haven't found the right man yet, so i am using donor sperm too, i will be having implantation either tomorrow or tuesday depending what has happened to my 4 little ones over night, i'm so excited but so nervous too!! i have a very supportive best friend that has been to every appointment with me, she has been very patient and very caring but we have known each over for 16 years and are very close, a sister i have never had, i only have brother's, none of my family know apart from one brother that i am close too, won't be telling my parents until 12 weeks as on discussion with my brother we don't know how they will react, i will be the first to give them a grandchild (fingers crossed), how did you talk to your parents about it?? if you don't mind me asking??

sideshowbob2 Sat 28-Jun-14 09:03:03

update!!
all 4 are still there and doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing!!

Camsie30 Sat 28-Jun-14 09:10:35

Hi Sideshow, of course I don't mind, ask away! I'm an only child and am very close to my parents. The fact is that I need them now more than ever to help look after the baby, I have a very demanding job.
I sat down with them and explained how I was feeling and that I was thinking if having the tests done to see what my situation was. At first they were pretty against the idea, and just thought I should take dating more seriously.
Once I had my results I took about 6 months to really think it over.
This is the biggest decision I have ever made and I weighed it up for ages. I'm a very spontaneous person so had to check myself!
Once I had decided I sat them down again and we had a long, emotional and very honest conversation. They had obviously been talking about it together and just said that they wanted me to be happy, and whilst it wasn't what they'd dreamt for me, they didn't want me to miss out on being a mother.
Now that I'm pregnant they are so excited, my Mum will be my birth partner and my Dad can't wait to tell his friends!
I feel very blessed

sideshowbob2 Sat 28-Jun-14 09:19:42

ahh thats all great news Camsie30, i am close to my dad but my mum is very hospital phobic and i am not close to her as i'm the only girl, i have 3 brother's used to have 4 and that is some of my mum's problem, my mum is very set in her ways, eveything is very black and white with her and nothing in between!! my dad is a bit more wise to the growing of society, he is even talking about doing a computer course so he can keep up!!
i am hoping that they will be happy for me as i would like them to babysit so i can return to work otherwise i will be stuffed!!

Camsie30 Sat 28-Jun-14 09:53:22

I'm sure they will be when they see how happy you are, and how could they not love the idea of a new grandchild?! X

sideshowbob2 Sat 28-Jun-14 10:05:11

fingers crossed hey!!
off to do some more housework!!
chat soon!!

sideshowbob2 Sat 28-Jun-14 20:04:43

this waiting game is very hard!! what am i going to be like when its the 2ww!!
well i've done all the sunday jobs today with my trusty ipod playing to help me, so i've cleaned, washed and tidied anything that i could find, changed sheets and towels, done tesco shop to keep myself awake this afternoon, just hoovering to do tomorrow unless i get the call of course!!
just eating dinner and about to take a soak and then catch up on some tv!!
how is everyone??

sideshowbob2 Sun 29-Jun-14 09:02:22

today is the day, had the call and leaving now to be implanted, talk when i get back!

ControlGeek Sun 29-Jun-14 14:12:09

Good luck Sideshow! Hopefully you are now PUPO smile

sideshowbob2 Sun 29-Jun-14 16:44:33

thanks!! hope the 2ww goes quickly!! what's PUPO??

ControlGeek Sun 29-Jun-14 18:16:34

PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise - congrats smile

sideshowbob2 Sun 29-Jun-14 19:22:21

ahh thanks!!

Camsie30 Sun 29-Jun-14 21:42:44

Sideshow the 2ww is agonising! Try not to overthink what's going on in your body, be super kind to yourself and relax. I did some mindfulness/ meditation podcasts and visualisation techniques to keep calm and positive x

sideshowbob2 Mon 30-Jun-14 07:21:28

i have spoken to my brother this morning so feel alot better, had a lot more sleep which is good, pinky and perky are fine, they had a nice relaxing bath as we were awake early!!
now on way to work to let my boss know that i don't need tomorrow off and i can't lift anything heavy for at least the next 3 months, anything else i need to do??

ControlGeek Mon 30-Jun-14 07:27:50

Ahhh loving pinky and perky Sideshow! Nothing else to do now, I think that's what makes the 2ww so darn hard. For so long it's all go, go, go, do this, don't do that, then all of a sudden it's 'right, sit tight for two weeks, you've done all you can'. Bah! Glad you were able to talk to your brother, it's hard enough without having to worry about family too.

I am well and truly back on the health kick now that I am on six week countdown. I have lost 3 3/8 lb in the last four days (not as unhealthy as it sounds - I kicked the backside out of the beer and wine last week, plus had a visit from AF, so a lot of that would have been fluid retention) and got back into my 6am shred routine this morning. I've taken 'before' photos in both my bikinis, so now have a visual incentive to stick at it. Another 2 7/8lb and I'll be back at WW gold weight, but I'd like to lose an additional 5lb before Spain. 7 7/8lb in 6 weeks, I can do that!

sideshowbob2 Mon 30-Jun-14 16:20:06

i can never do diets, got colitis so there's enough food groups that i can't eat already!! i will never be a size 10 or 12 again, been a size 16 since i had my gallbladder out!!
my brother is the only family that knows, not very close to my mum, she always favours my brothers and just doesn't make the effort to be involved in my life!! very close to my dad, we talk all the time, but not about woman stuff!!
also spoke to my headmistress and line manager today, both were really good, as my line manager decides which child i work with in september, as i can't do any lifting it needs to be a low risk child!!

sideshowbob2 Tue 01-Jul-14 05:14:09

help feel so tired and so sick(not helped by one of the children throwing up yesterday) i'm very sick phobic, is it just lack of sleep and all the drugs, been waking up every 2 hours during the night since sunday night, thought it was because i was worrying about stuff, so made a list a sorted it all out yesterday, including a really difficult conversation with my line manager who i don't trust!!
how can i sleep more and stop waking up for the loo every 2 hours and the night??
all advise welcome!!

resipsa Wed 02-Jul-14 18:45:27

Hello again all. For those at Care Manchester, can I ask how long you waited for a match this year? It took me from July to October last year which felt like FOREVER!

ControlGeek Wed 02-Jul-14 19:03:19

sideshow I wish I could offer you good advice but I find the 2ww takes over in exactly the same way. I usually manage to get back to sleep either by reading, or going through multiplications tables in my head, and just telling myself that it's ok if I wake up again. Very well done on the difficult conversation. I still haven't told my line manager, two cycles on, because I don't trust him to keep it confidential and not make public comments to or about me. Your sick feeling might be related to how tired you are. I often find I get flu like symptoms when I'm really sleep deprived (aching neck and back, headache, feeling sick). When is OTD?

resipsa a friend of mine was at Care, I think at Manchester, and was matched with an ED in less than six months (sorry, I can't remember the exact time) but that was just over a year ago. She had odd cycles though which I think delayed things by an extra month.

Sent all the documentation over to Spain by email today, and made a (half) jokey comment about if I could be choosy about just one thing I'd love if the donors could be taller than me. Got a reply back saying she'd passed that onto the embryologist and she is sure they can make that happen! We're all on track for FET on my next cycle now, which is due to start end of July. Diet and exercise are going very well, I am actually feeling positive about this for once.

resipsa Wed 02-Jul-14 19:33:05

Thanks Geek. Good luck for your cycle - sounds promising and you're optimistic which is more than half the mental battle.

foxinorangesocks Wed 02-Jul-14 20:46:05

Hello, it is nice seeing the thread active. Hi control geek, I think I have seen you on the conception boards I think in the MANY years I've been there! Know exactly what you mean about lots of threads there no longer feeling relevant, settle in here for the next bit. It's so good that you are feeling positive. I am too for this cycle. I'm well aware of the odds but they are so so much better than any other cycle I've ever had ttc so I'm glad of that. I also feel like the clock has stopped a bit and if this doesn't work, I'm no longer scared shitless about declining egg quality, that ship has passed!

Bob, how are you bearing up? Night waking is an arse. Ivf druggage does that to me but mostly I think it is underlying anxiety/awareness that something quite major is occurring. It's great that your embryos are on board, may the wait not be too agonising.

Resp I was matched in a month. I never expected it to be that fast. But as a couple it was remarked that we are very average!! Eye colour was an exception as mine isn't that common so I said I didn't give a stuff. As it happened they found a match with my colour eyes. I think we've been lucky to be that fast. The donor is also much shorter than me but again, I really kept parameters wide open, not sure if that makes a difference but I'm imagining it might? Are you thinking you might try again?

Lauren haven't seen you here but hope all is going well. I have my cd21 scan on Friday. I don't think I'm downregged as I'm convinced I've ovulated but who knows. Bleh to buserelin.

resipsa Wed 02-Jul-14 22:41:25

Hi Fox.

Yes, now thinking that we might try again...

At the start of last week, the local authority confirmed that we have to wait 6 months after last IVF to begin adoption process. Fair enough. By Tuesday, I'd got my head around 4 months or so free of the worry about a second child. There was a Plan.

Then on Tuesday evening DH was diagnosed with colon cancer. He's 38. DD is 3. His chances of making her 8th birthday are 50/50 .

So, instead of thinking about adoption, I'm contemplating widow and single parent status in my 40s. Adoption is out of the question with his diagnosis, he'll need chemo so we can't try naturally as it's dangerous and anyway he might be rendered infertile.

After 2 miscarriages in 6 months and this, I am all over the place but now keener than ever to pursue all options (not least because the idea of leaving DD all alone is just too awful).

The only option is to try again with DE IVF and get DH to freeze sperm before chemo. But can we bear the potential heartache again? And would I want to bring up 2 alone?

Poor, poor DH - he's going through hell and I am still going on about babies.

resipsa Wed 02-Jul-14 22:43:01

Sorry for the self-absorption but I can't see beyond us at the moment.

Hope you are all doing OK on here.

Lauren83 Thu 03-Jul-14 00:15:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxinorangesocks Thu 03-Jul-14 06:41:36

Resispa I am so sorry to read your news and for your dh what a huge thing to try and get your head around on top of everything else. You have been through so much already, life can be an asshole. I know your head must be all over the place but would embryo donation ever be an option? This is on our list as possible option for the future. Not because of sperm issues but for speed/cost/quality of treatment abroad. But it's a tiny seed of thought at the moment.

Lauren glad to hear from you, I was itching to know where you were up to. So are you still on the evil dr? How have you been on it? When do you start other druggage?

Bob hoping you had a better sleep.

ControlGeek Thu 03-Jul-14 07:04:29

Resipsa what a rotten, shitty thing to happen. I am so sorry. I really hope for the best possible outcome all round for you. That is an awful lot for you to get your head round. Do you have a good rl support network?

fox yes, I thought I recognised your name. Like you have been around the conception boards a few years so you do get used to seeing the same ones pop up from time to time. You sound really positive about your ED, that can only be a good thing.

Sorry for quick post, just sneaking it in before I have to wake DP to get ready for work (he sleeps through me getting up at 5:45 to shred, the swine!)

sideshowbob2 Thu 03-Jul-14 07:59:18

ControlGeek what is OTD??
foxinorangesocks pinky and perky are fine, but i am covered in red rare eczema, and can't use my steroid cream as it says don't use if pregnant, another trip to the g.p this morning to get something i can use!! sleep is still a bit dodgy mostly sleep for 4-5 hours to start with but then awake between 1-4am, feeling incredibly itchy!!
pinky and perky are a whole 7 days old today!!
its been a very busy week at school again, the new intake came for lunch tuesday and wednesday, so i did a double dinner lady shift, so i may have been in the sun too long then, then i did an extra dinner lady shift to help out yesterday and the long walk to and back from swimming lessons for the year 4's, plus i had too many clothes on, so today the shorts and sandals are out!!
hope you are all ok ??
i had my consultation on the 12th of april both donor sperm and donor egg were matched within a month and treatment started on 27th of may and then implantation on 30th june!! so quite quick i think!!

ControlGeek Thu 03-Jul-14 08:31:11

Sorry sideshow, otd = official test day, when the clinic will do their test. Yay to pinky and perky, but boo to the eczema. That sounds really nasty.

I'm starting to lose faith in the timescales given by my uk clinic. They have always told me that there is a five year wait for donor eggs/embryo adoption, and that this is prety much average across the national rate. They also told me sperm donors are hard to come by and there would be quite a wait if I wanted to do own eggs, donor sperm. I'm starting to think they just don't want to hansle the donor process. They were very quick to tell me that their 'donor' clients mostly went to Spain, and to give me the clinic details.

Lauren83 Thu 03-Jul-14 08:40:28

Yeah I'm still DR, on day 41 sad

I keep DR til they tell me to stop, I think she might bleed fri/sat so i'm guessing they scan her maybe Monday then she starts stimms

When's your estimated ET? X

foxinorangesocks Thu 03-Jul-14 09:00:21

Control that doesn't sound right to me. My clinic said that donation has increased a lot for eggs since the 750 pound payment was introduced. I'm not sure about embryos. But five years?! That can't be right?

Lauren ugh to 41 days. I thought you might be on estrogen now. I don't really understand what happens next with me but plan on finding all that out tomorrow at my scan. They estimated late July for transfer so presume me and buserelin will be partying on for some time yet. Agh!

sideshowbob2 Thu 03-Jul-14 19:49:43

ControlGeek OTD is thursday 10th, not at clinic just home pregnancy test, but i'm not doing it til the 12th as my friend is on holiday and i need my hand holding plus she has been there every step of the way, like a good luck charm, so i'm waiting!! also there is the london sperm bank in london and you can have sperm couriered to your chosen clinic, sounds like you are at the wrong clinic, they sound very bias to their way or no way!! tbh
Lauren83 they scanned me on day 2 of my bleed as mine was delayed for ages too, so don't worry!!
foxinorangesocks good luck with the buserelin!!
all is good the gp said i can use very low dosage of steroid cream for 2 weeks only, i am now on a steroid management, he wants to see me if i get worse, get an infection or am i still using the steroid cream in 2 weeks!! he was really good and very understanding!!

resipsa Thu 03-Jul-14 22:54:19

Lauren - don't fret. I was on the drugs for the best part of 2 months and still got a BFP. It's tough to wait but it won't affect your chances of success.

Lauren83 Fri 04-Jul-14 09:02:45

Thanks resispa

I'm not worried about it affecting things I know some ladies stay on it for ages, I'm just knackered, got terrible indigestion too

How did you feel on your DR? X

sideshowbob2 Fri 04-Jul-14 17:09:19

Lauren83 hi when i the injections made me go off all sweet food, chocolate, sweets and biscuits, also made me wee loads in the night and feel very tired!!

resipsa Fri 04-Jul-14 19:38:10

Lauren - don't kill me but I found DRing fine - no side effects!

Lauren83 Fri 04-Jul-14 20:26:00

Thanks girls

I have overactive bladder and on meds for it so peeing is normal, I was fine with my own egg cycle last year on short protocol, I have just come off Morphine, Tramadol and Fentanly so I think it might be bring off those that's making me feel so rubbish though x

foxinorangesocks Fri 04-Jul-14 20:38:00

Hey everyone. I am meh as day21 scan showed I'm not yet downregged and that I'd clearly ovulated in the past few days - even I could see that on the scan. There was a clear luteal cyst so noresithrene or whatever it's called for 8 days to get my 5mm lining smaller and dissipate the cyst. I feel fed up. I have never in one billion scans had the scanner turn to me and say everything looks fine.

Lauren83 Fri 04-Jul-14 22:13:37

Exactly same as me, they didn't say I had ovulated though but I'm guessing I did? I had loads of EWCM too, I had cysts, thick lining too

8 days on the meds then a scan and I was sorted, I bled 2 days after stopping them

I know exactly how you feel xx

sideshowbob2 Sat 05-Jul-14 06:40:16

morning everyone, feeling quite strange lately, memory is poor, body aches, tops of thigh bones ache and stomach muscles are sore, what are these?? extreme tiredness or something else??
one more week til i can test, nervous and excited, pinky and perky were well behaved last night when i went out for a curry with my work buddies, but then i did ask them to be kind and behave on the way!!
the little boy i look after in the mornings has been stroking me alot, yes he is high functioning autistic, he occasionally strokes me, but this is nearly everyday, he is a twin, does he know or does your body let of a different smell that only sen children can sense!!

Lauren83 Sat 05-Jul-14 10:37:55

Sounds very promising sideshow! X

Marmot75 Sat 05-Jul-14 16:32:19

Hello. I'm new here.

I am nearly 39 and have a nearly 4 year old son conceived after 2 years TTC (conceived after a laparoscopy diagnosed and treated moderate endometriosis). We have been trying for a sibling since our son's 1st birthday and had 2 chemical BFPs. Self-referred for IVF last year and found out my ovarian reserve is low. Had 3 natural IVF cycles (no stimulation) but unsuccessful. Now deciding whether we want to try donor eggs. Have been thinking about it for a few months but just can't make up our mind. Mainly my mind really as husband has said it's what I feel comfortable with. He has ruled out adoption though.

I haven't read the rest of the thread but wish everyone luck.

sideshowbob2 Sun 06-Jul-14 19:27:09

thanks Lauren83!
its been the longest weekend ever!! stomach muscles very sore, very tires and generally ache all over, been bored stiff most of the weekend, loads of things i wanted to do but just didn't have the energy, tesco's was hard work this morning, so i've ordered online for next weekend, can't wait to get back to work tomorrow so i have something to focus on!!
day 10 today, really miss my best friend and my lovely nephew, i know they are only in cornwall but they have really bad service in the place they are staying, glad they are only on holiday for a week, so much to look forward to next weekend!!
how is everyone else??

Lauren83 Mon 07-Jul-14 20:03:50

How you feeling today sideshow? Don't blame you for ordering the shopping in!

My donor started stimms yesterday the clinic called today, I started my tablets for my lining today and there for a scan mon

sideshowbob2 Mon 07-Jul-14 20:20:18

hi Lauren83, i'm feeling quite rough, only slept for about 3 hours last, crying for no reason, think its just total exhaustion, so restless!! pinky and perky are fine though, they are 11 days old now, been suffering from night sweats as well as living in the loo!! picked up more pessaries today too!! don't really know what to do with myself go to bed early or late, no matter which i do i just don't sleep!!
good news for you that everything is going to plan!! are you doing injections too or just tablets??

sideshowbob2 Mon 07-Jul-14 20:21:53

Lauren83, i know this is a bit tmi, but my bits are burning bit like before your period comes and i have 3 spots on my face too!!

Lauren83 Mon 07-Jul-14 20:25:59

Ok I work as a moderater on FF like I said and the amount of ladies who are convinced their AF is due in the 2ww is crazy, pessaries might be causing spots, how many dpo are you now?

sideshowbob2 Mon 07-Jul-14 20:37:45

i usually get spots before i come on, what is dpo??
embryos are 11 days old today!!

Lauren83 Mon 07-Jul-14 21:28:10

Sorry dpo (days past ovulation/collection) what are you testing? I should be in for ET in 2 weeks! smile

sideshowbob2 Tue 08-Jul-14 06:44:30

hi dpo (egg collection) was 26th june (my birthday day)
supposed to do pregnancy test on thursday, but not brave enough to do it on my own, my best friend is on holiday til late friday/early saturday morning so waiting til then!!
ahh thats great news that you have ET in 2 weeks, do you take aspirin before ET or just after?? fingers crossed for you!!

sideshowbob2 Thu 10-Jul-14 18:02:38

OMG i can't believe that pinky and perky are now 14 days old, just 2 more get ups before i can do the test!!
how's everyone else getting on??

Lauren83 Thu 10-Jul-14 19:22:42

Your doing so good not testing, any more signs? I'm ok I have a scan mon, they will update us on donors progress

What's the score with aspirin I haven't researched it myself

sideshowbob2 Thu 10-Jul-14 19:51:11

not testing till saturday when my best friend is back from her holiday, too scared to do it alone, plus she has been with me for every appointment and i want her with me for the test!!
the feeling that i'm going to be sick has not been so bad today, stomach muscles still sore, also i slept for 6 hours straight last night which hasn't happened in a while, only other symptom is i don't have the runs anymore!!
the consultant that put pinky and perky in, said because the medication i am on can cause DVT's i needed to take the aspirin till i'm 12 weeks and not taking the medication anymore!!
this morning i was talking to them as though pinky is on my right and perky is on my right, i know they are only tiny and still embryo's, but talking to them helps!!
do you know how old they will be when they change from embryo's to tiny babies??
good luck and my fingers are crossed for monday!!

Lauren83 Sat 12-Jul-14 07:50:19

Sorry quick reply on way to work

God luck! Xx

Lauren83 Sat 12-Jul-14 07:50:28

Good!

sideshowbob2 Sat 12-Jul-14 07:52:54

thank you, probably won't be til this evening, as its a long drive for my friend from cornwall, talk later!!

foxinorangesocks Sat 12-Jul-14 10:01:10

Have been wanting to do a catch up on here to do welcomes and updates etc but have been work busy. BUT had to say huge good luck to bob and will be back later as have lots to say. Still downregging but finished the pills to induce a bleed - did it take long to come Lauren? How's things your end?

sideshowbob2 Sat 12-Jul-14 10:59:44

thanks fox, i'm going to have a nap now, as i've been up since 3am, but did have an early night and slept for 6 hours, not been feeling as sick the last 3 days, so appetite is coming back gradually!!
i took ages to bled after the downregging(injections) and then i was scanned on the 2nd day of bleeding and started the next stage of medication, hope all goes well for you!!

Lauren83 Sat 12-Jul-14 11:45:56

I bled 2 days after stopping Noteristerone fox, was really quick, donor is on day 7 of stims now, I have a scan mon to see how my lining is

ControlGeek Sat 12-Jul-14 15:45:59

Good luck sideshow!

Sorry I've no advice on the downregging, I only dr'd on one of my previous cycles and that was with three months of prostap/zoladex, meaning I shouldn't have a natural bleed until after the ivf was over. I'm another annoying one, the dr'ing didn't affect me negatively at all (except I bled almost constantly for the first two months, when I wasn't supposed to bleed at all!)

Lauren Good luck for Monday's scan!

Had a scan today that confirmed no endometrioma, so good to go with natural cycle. My UK consultant doesn't like to do that, but he seems to keep changing his mind from cycle to cycle. Last time he said he didn't want to remove my fibroid because of the risk of bleeding and hysterectomy, this time he's saying I should have had it out ages ago. It shouldn't affect my EA cycle, but might grow during pregnancy so would need to keep an eye on it if I got to that stage.

Got the prescription for the drugs I am to take when my next cycle starts, and the scan confirmed what my temp rise told me (I'm either 1 or 2 days past ov) so next cycle will be due around Friday 25th July.

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 06:44:26

hi guys, friend got here really late, then we did the test wrong, so doing another one this morning, so fingers crossed!!

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 07:06:42

I kept having a look to see! Wishing you so much luck thanks

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:00:15

well friend didn't wait to read the instructions, as she thought she knew what to do!! it was very late, she didn't get to me until after 11pm, but i also know that most people get a negative result to start with and then have to have a blood test anyway, well i think thats right, pinky and perky are 17 days old now!! had only a few symptoms, but most are due to lack of sleep i.m, had goose bumps alot, feeling cold, sore stomach muscles, very poor memory, weeing loads especially at night, hot sweats during the night and spots on my face, this burning sensation down there!!
but hey who knows, crossing my fingers for the shops to be open and to stop feeling so rough as i've only had 3 hours sleep max!! speak soon!!

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:00:54

i forgot feeling sick!!

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:05:57

Control thankyou! I suffer bad with cysts I always panic at scans that they will be back

Fox updated please??

Sideshow come on we are in suspense!!'

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:28:41

nothing happening at the present as we did the test wrong very late last night, so now waiting for the shops to open to get another one!!
should of just waited for this morning, was so tired didn;t read the instructions properly and didn;t do lots of things right, so need to try again!!

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:43:31

What did you do wrong? I have about 15 in ready me I have to confess! smile

We all keep checking for your news

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:56:43

didn;t put the cap back on, held it wrong when putting the wee on, also don't know whether it worked right as i saved wee from the morning, not sure if it was too old, just a disaster, was too tired too nervous and a little excited, now i've only had 3 hours sleep and my stomach's dicky after being really ggod for the last 3 days, just a bit pissed off my friend didn;t make the effort to get here sooner, she's always late and its a pain in the arse, at the end of the day, they are still in there, had no spotting or bleeding and the only pain i've had is stretching soreness!!
all i want to do is sleep nut now i can't!!

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 08:58:36

going to leave in about 10 minutes and sit on her doorstep!!

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 11:36:28

both showed not pregnant lines, but i'm not worried, will have to get clinic to do a blood test now either monday or tuesday, totally exhausted, having something to eat and then going back to bed, talk later

ControlGeek Sun 13-Jul-14 12:44:58

sideshow I cannot believe that you only had one test in the house! How self-controlled is that?! Like Lauren I have a whole stack ready and waiting - not quite as bad as I used to be, I had quite a stock pile of five different kinds one blush I'm hoping like mad that your tests are wrong, and that the bloods show something different. I hope you get a few more hours sleep, exhaustion is awful. At least it's the weekend, and you can do that.

Going to drop the prescription off at Boots today, will collect it next weekend and then I'm all good to go. Been busy planning the holiday part of our trip to Spain, which may have involved buying new clothes grin grin grin

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 13:17:20

i don't get it if i haven't bled or had any spotting, pinky and perky must still be there!! help me understand whats going on, co-ordinator said will do the blood test and she will do the test in the lab and then decide whether i need to take the medication or not

ControlGeek Sun 13-Jul-14 13:20:15

Are you taking any progesterone supplements sideshow? I had to take progesterone pessaries on both my cycles that would prevent bleeding. When my tests came back negative, I was told to stop taking the pessaries and my bleeding followed a few days later.

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 13:30:05

yes taking pessaries and 8mg of prognova a day, i thought both those medications were to help keep the embryo's in, so confused??

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 15:28:32

See what your beta says, the meds support your lining, some say you won't bleed until you stop meds but I got full AF whilst on them

They support the lining of your womb but obviously can't guarantee implantation

How are you feeling?

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 15:52:21

just extremely tired due to disturbed sleep from getting up in the night for the toilet, sick but not actually been sick, was off sugary or sweet food until the other day, feel cold first thing until about lunch time, with goose bumps but then i have hot sweats and flushes during the night, they still feel like they are there on my right side as i have a like heavy feeling in my stomach on that side, hard to explain what its like, suppose it feels like a heaviness, crossing my fingers and praying those tests are just another blip sent to test me!!
what do you think is going on??

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 16:24:26

What tests have you done so far? The meds can give symptoms so it could just be that however let a blood test confirm, you do sometimes get negs changing to pos about later, the beta will be accurate

sideshowbob2 Sun 13-Jul-14 16:46:06

clear blue is all i'm allowed to use, my friend in the usa says they wee tests are commonly unreliable, they mainly use blood tests over there, what is beta?? for the blood test they will be looking for higher HCG levels is that right??

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 19:48:06

Bob I am sorry that things are unclear at the moment, it must be stressful. I started spotting on the prog supplements when I did my own egg cycle so no bleeding may well be a good thing. Keeping everything crossed that it was a bit early and sending a hug.

Lauren, what meds are you on now? Do the clinic keep you updated at the moment? I'm sorry I feel like I ask you a lot of questions but I feel like I don't really know what is coming next and we seem to have consistently been two weeks apart in the process. How are you doing emotionally and have you felt better since stopping the buserelin?

Control, I think clothes spends are an important part of ivf expenditure smile. great that things are on the close horizon. Have you got flights booked?

Marmot, I wanted to say hello. After getting there after a struggle I can imagine how much you were hoping that it would happen again - and it might yet! But if you are thinking about donor and want to thrash out thoughts then we are here for you.

I have now been downregging for 30 days and have been off the noristeristone for 48 hours, no period yet. I am finding this quite an odd go at ivf. It feels very dragged out and limbo like?

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 20:27:12

Don't worry ask away!

Fox
I think you will bleed tomorrow, I have a scan tomorrow and I'm guessing my donor has too, the earliest EC would be is Thu, can you believe this started in May? I haven't enjoyed this cycle at all either. Been getting bad migraines this week I think its the HRT

Bob yes Beta is the blood test sorry, are you going to try anymore peesticks? How will you feel if its a negative? I hope you're ok

I'm on day 58 of DR sad

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 20:29:30

Oh my god Lauren - had no idea you were STILL downregging! I thought that stopped when the donor starting stimming? So you take buserelin as well as the hrt? Jesus sad

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 20:52:07

Nope, you carry it on, I feel worse since the HRT, I'm not one for struggling usually and having side effects, been on morphine, fentanyl and max dose tramadol for past 2 years when it usually wipes people out and feel on top of the world but this cycle has really done me in I don't know why

Im getting impatient now, so worried about egg numbers now tho

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 21:00:07

Hang in there Lauren. I found the noris whatever it is called made me MOODY for a couple of days and sometimes I feel so very very tired, I could just sleep on the floor wherever I am. I don't think I thought it would be as testing as this, it is the sheer length of it all and the limbo of not knowing what the hell is happening or when. Hard to unpick what is hormones or emotions that would be there anyway. I too am fretting. I fret about the donor changing their mind, about there not being enough eggs to share (though I think I am first on the list, though haven't had that confirmed) that the eggs won't fertilised or that it won't work. It feels so tightrope like. I can't help but think there has to be an easier way, people I've known having treatment abroad seem to have had a bit more of a simple timeline?

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 22:08:03

All those things I feel too, they did tell me a donor had never pulled out as this point, they don't do couple 1 and 2 like they used to (where 1 couple were named 1 and got them all if there weren't enough, and couple 2 got rematched) they just said the medical director decides on the day. I imagine if the other couples private tho I might have to get rematched, I got 4 eggs myself last year so i'm praying for more than that

We really should try to meet up?

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 22:26:33

We def should at some point given what mirrored journeys we're having. The nurse misled me a bit about that then - how on earth do they decide?! Do private patients get chosen ahead of nhs?

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 22:29:19

Do you know your donors age? I got one egg and that ovulated by itself so four feels amazing smile seriously though it would be very bad luck not to get enough. I've been chatting to people on here for a very long time and I can't remember many people getting less than 8.

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 22:32:49

I would def be up for that, I'm in Manchester everyday for work and live in Tameside

Well the paperwork says couple 1 and 2, I asked which we were, if you are couple 2 you are guaranteed to be 1 the next time. They said they don't do that anymore a medical director just decides on the day, they didn't say they favour paying patients that's just a guess, well guess I am paying just my CCG pays the bill

foxinorangesocks Sun 13-Jul-14 22:39:27

The mind boggles then about how they choose. I might have to ask about it next time. Let's keep fingers tightly crossed that neither of us will be in that boat. How do people ever get pregnant I often wonder. This is so ridiculously complicated!

Bob hope you are ok and that you get a better sleep.

Lauren83 Sun 13-Jul-14 23:03:34

I'm there at 8.30am, anything you want me to ask whilst I'm there? I need more Buserelin I must remember I'm nearly out

sideshowbob2 Mon 14-Jul-14 08:05:53

lauren, no more pee sticks, never really wanted to do it in the first place i would have quite happily plodded along until 12 weeks i think, there are 3 plans 1) good friend will give me some of her eggs, just need to find out the price for this 2) save up or get an advance on wages and try again 3) save up and go adoption route, but i'm hoping not to have to use any of the options, 4.15pm is my appointment time and i need all the good luck and prays i can get!! speak later and good luck to all of you guys too!!

Lauren83 Mon 14-Jul-14 09:11:07

I will be thinking of you, don't give up if its bad news, and thanks I'm there now

foxinorangesocks Mon 14-Jul-14 10:03:36

Good luck bob and Lauren didn't see your post in time - did all go well? No sign of a period here. Starting to worry...

Lauren83 Mon 14-Jul-14 18:37:55

Any sign? Don't panic they told me 5-7 days sometimes, I was just quick!

Well scan went well, donors ready for EC I didn't expect it so soon, she is in Thu

sideshowbob2 Mon 14-Jul-14 19:00:32

hi fox and lauren, blood test says no, but i won't be convinced unless i bled or throw up, tbh, clinic says to stop taking all medication and i should bled by wednesday if not do another pee test by thursday morning, i have an appointment to see my consultant next friday to discuss next steps, i am going to try again, but just be a bit more tactical when i try, as i have a 50/50 chance each time i try, so i've got to try at least once more, just got to sort the money side, if i save up it will take me 12-14 months, going to see if the bank will lend me the £8000 i need, going to make an appointment tomorrow, at the end of the day i have lots of options!!
hope you are all ok??

sideshowbob2 Tue 15-Jul-14 07:50:26

thank you lauren and fox for all your support during my 1st ivf cycle, i had terrible stomach ache during the night, was awake between 1.30 and 4am, had to get up and write all my thoughts down in the end, then went back to sleep for an hour and a half, the terrible stomach was constipation as i thought, side effect from the drugs, but as i always have the runs due to my colitis, i do not know what it feels like!! 3 more get ups and school is finally finished!! think i'll probably sleep all weekend!! so so tired, hope you are all well and speak soon!!

foxinorangesocks Tue 15-Jul-14 09:05:39

Bob I'm sorry to hear it wasn't a blood positive. You have struck me as a beautifully upbeat person whilst we've been talking. Positivity is not something that comes naturally to me so I've taken something from that - thank you. It is rubbish that you are having such horrible physical symptoms and I hope that goes away soon. It's such a big decision to choose to go down the donor route and it feels like that should be the hard bit - not the conceiving. But you are so right, it's a 50/50 numbers game. Have you thought about the questions you want to ask the consultant? Big hug to you, talk away here if it helps.

No af here. Thanks Lauren for saying it could take longer. I rang the clinic in a panic yesterday and they said to call tomorrow if no sign and I'll have to have another scan and blood test confused

resipsa Tue 15-Jul-14 16:47:37

Lauren - you'll be in for ET within a week then? Eek! Good luck. I've had 3 ETs at Care: all seamless.

resipsa Tue 15-Jul-14 16:48:12

Lauren - you'll be in for ET within a week then? Eek! Good luck. I've had 3 ETs at Care: all seamless.

sideshowbob2 Tue 15-Jul-14 17:29:19

fox, hi no i don't really know what questions to ask the consultant tbh!! as the co-ordinator discussed everything with me at the time of the blood test, basically nothing went wrong and i had a 50/50 chance, the reason why i'm positive is last year i went to church with my friend in the usa,(i've known her for 15 years now) every time i visit her in the usa she asks me to go with her on a sunday and i always say no, but last year i gave it a go, (i'm not a church kind of person for lots of reasons, which are long and complicated to explain) the first part was over my head until this young pastor came on and he talked about everything happening for a reason and its the way you deal with the problems that make the problems tiny or big, that things are sent to test you and sometimes you are not ready to deal with them so you need to try again or try a different path!! i am not at all religious but i had a light bulb moment there and then in the church whilst in was in agony with a colitis attack, so now my moto is everything happens for a reason and how you deal with it!!
btw i have not bled yet, but had terrible constipation during the night, so my fingers are still crossed!!
everything is sounding exciting for you two atm!!

Lauren83 Tue 15-Jul-14 19:43:54

Thanks Resispa its sat my ET, unless I get loads and it will be blast on Tue

Bob I too admire your positivity, good on you

Fox any sign? I told you orgasms! Not that I could be added if I'm honest

foxinorangesocks Tue 15-Jul-14 20:02:21

Lauren wow to Saturday!! So excited for you. Nerve wracking bit ahead and here to hold a virtual hand along the way. My period is here. Been a long time since I was so excited to see it smile an orgasm was not responsible...

Bob how are your aches and pains? What you say makes a lot of sense - wish I could instinctively feel like that!

Lauren83 Tue 15-Jul-14 20:08:11

Told you not to panic! You won't be far behind me at all, when will they scan you now? Be good if its thu I might see you! I will be with nervous tall dark haired guy with the beard and tattoos! He gets so scared bless him

sideshowbob2 Tue 15-Jul-14 20:32:39

well done lauren, excited for you for saturday or tuesday!!
fox everywhere hurts tonight a very busy and maniac sports day in the heat followed by no tea break!! followed by a few silly accidents at lunch time, sorting out stuff from back cupboards then class swap, getting witness statements for my professional development folder from teachers that are leaving , then home bath and dinner all before 7pm, nearly fell asleep shortly after that, so keeping myself busy till 8.45pm at least and then will have to go to bed!! so aches and pains are bad, got pains in my right leg from standing about for hours this morning, stomach is still giving constipated pains but had chilli for dinner so the kidney beans should sort that out!!

foxinorangesocks Tue 15-Jul-14 20:40:16

Oh bob, time for summer holidays for you, hope not much longer, get a good rest in tonight.

Lauren, ringing tomorrow about scan. Seems like quite a light period but I guess something is better than nothing. Prob not Thursday and hoping not Saturday as I'm away.. I really don't like the many many unknowns of ivf. It is so stressful on so many layers. Do the clinic call you with updates or have you contacted them? I feel so out of the loop.

sideshowbob2 Wed 16-Jul-14 06:09:46

hi fox yes I'm looking forward to the school holidays, its a bit more relaxed but i will still be working, the little girl i look after, after school i have full time during most school holidays, this year i have a different week off which is confusing as they are taking their family holiday in Glasgow to see the common wealth games, so I'm working next week then i have a week off then working straight through to bank holiday weekend where i have a long weekend, then its back to school on the 3rd of September, unfortunately summer holiday do go very fast, i don't know why!!
also fox once you've had your baseline scan, after the bled, they will tell you when the next scans are and which medication to take also, i had my baseline scan on day2 of my bled, good luck

sideshowbob2 Wed 16-Jul-14 18:22:40

hi guys it me again, asking random questions!! still no bled so clinic said unless i come on by the morning i have to do another pee test, anybody experienced this?? or know anyone else that has??
i feel quite normal i little nausea at times, bloated, tired, still weeing in the night and thats about it, no i'm about to come on symptoms either!!

foxinorangesocks Wed 16-Jul-14 21:18:53

Hi bob. It took me four days after stopping the progesterone to get a period but I did get very slight spotting during those four days. It is tormenty wondering what if? so I feel for you. I'd do another test tomorrow to see what the state of play is given that the clinic have instructed you and there is no sign. I'd so love this to turn out for you.

I have my scan on Friday. Good luck tomorrow Lauren.

Lauren83 Wed 16-Jul-14 22:13:28

I can't believe I'm there thu and sat and your there fri, we will bump into each other day I hope

Can't believe its finally here

sideshowbob2 Thu 17-Jul-14 06:13:00

thanks fox, yes it is and was torment, woke up with calf muscle cramp in my calf muscle at 4am, then found i was bleeding, so been up since then, had a bath and now taking some mefenanic acid as i get terrible period pains, thanks for all your help and i will keep watching your journeys, as i will be doing this journey again in january!!
fox good luck with your scan tomorrow and lauren good luck today and sat!!

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 06:46:16

Sorry your period came Bob, I hope you're ok.

Lauren I woke up really early this morning worrying that I had the scratch too early and that now I've had another bleed it won't be effective? Do you know anything about this? Is Saturday still your transfer date?

sideshowbob2 Thu 17-Jul-14 07:06:54

thanks fox, i'm ok just waiting for the mefenanic acid to work, its the yr 6 leavers assembly today, its going to be sad as i worked in there class when they came in at 4 years old, quite a few still come running up and give me a big hug now even though they are taller than me now!!
i had my scratch a month and 3 days before implantation, its the womb wall that is scratched so it will still be there, don't worry everything will be fine!!

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 07:19:09

I think it will be two months between mine so I feel a bit like I might have wasted my money! I think you are a trooper for carrying on at work so bravely. Hope the drugs kick in soon. I always found leavers assemblies quite emotional!

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 07:47:47

Hope you're ok bob

Fox I have had 2 bleeds too, the benefits last a few months I was told, still not ideal though but nothing we can do, I don't think ours would do it so close to egg transfer due to risk of infection and the chance of spotting, its supposed to growi you a better healthier lining so unsure why they did bobs so close?

I will message you when I have news later

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 07:48:19

Sorry bob you said a month and 3 days my mistake

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 13:28:45

Well I only have 4 eggs and they might not all be mature and not all fertilise so I'm a bit gutted

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 15:26:03

Oh Lauren I'm sorry to hear that. So the donor made 8 eggs? Was it an altruistic donor? And have the clinic been supportive? But! You only need one good embryo for this to turn out and I will be keeping everything crossed for you that those eggs do their thing. I know you must feel fed up right now though and I send you a huge hug.

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 17:27:34

Yeah she made 8, the cut off for cancelling one lady is 7, I would of preferred that, and been rematched for a higher number, I'm not being ungrateful sorry if it seems I am but I got 4 eggs myself last aug, and all mature with 100% fertilisation, and chances of them being all mature and all fertilising is rare, will see what tomorrow brings

sideshowbob2 Thu 17-Jul-14 19:09:28

my fingers are crossed for you lauren!
yes fox the leavers assembly was sad, the toughest traveller boy was right in the middle and totally broke down at the end making me cry, all 3 of us support ladies sitting at the back of the hall lost it at the last song!!
one of my favourite year 6 boys came up to me at lunch time and said i saw you trying not to cry because you don't want me to leave!! and he's right he was one of the reasons i wanted to go and watch the assembly!!

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 20:59:51

I've been thinking of you both today. I wish this journey was easier! When do you next get news Lauren?

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:19:50

I will get a call tomorrow before 12 with how many we have to transfer, if any x

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 22:02:21

Sometimes when your head is full of worry and worst case scenarios it's good to have someone cheering you on so I will be positive on your behalf. I'm willing those eggs to behave nicely and have a good feeling that they will. You've had a tough journey to get here and it's time that luck went your way. Will be thinking of you.

Lauren83 Thu 17-Jul-14 22:18:56

Thankyou you're so kind, had some tears today but we have to stay positive, praying I at least get something to transfer

foxinorangesocks Thu 17-Jul-14 22:24:11

It would be really unusual not to so yes, keep positive. I'm sorry there were tears, it is so tough plus all of the hormones don't help. It really is a roller coaster. But you will get there thanks

sideshowbob2 Fri 18-Jul-14 06:49:02

good luck for today lauren my fingers are crossed that all 4 are growing nicely for you!

ControlGeek Fri 18-Jul-14 07:41:24

Sorry for extended absence (again), work is taking over my life and I'm not sleeping properly at the moment, so too shattered to spend time on the laptop.

bob I'm so sorry you had your bleed after all. I really got my hopes up when I just read through that you still hadn't had any sign. Just wow on getting through the leavers assembly. That is kudos, lady.

Lauren a friend of mine received 4 eggs from her donor, and now has b/g twins as a result. It really is quality, not quantity, that matters. I know how hard it is when you start playing the numbers game in your head but honestly, it really does only take one. Good luck today!

fox I have no advice about the scratch I'm afraid, but I'm sure I read that it was effective for 3-4 months so you're well within that time.

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 07:59:06

Control

That gives me hope thankyou, I should know in the best few hours what we have, have you tried Melatonin? It's good for fertility too apparently, I got it for that and found I slept loads better

Fox/Bob thanks so much. So nervous! If I get enough for a double transfer and non to freeze I will be happy

foxinorangesocks Fri 18-Jul-14 13:55:21

We are both down regulated - bring it on!

I've been thinking of you lauren x

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 16:15:35

Great news! Sorry I forgot to say good luck! You aren't far behind me now x

foxinorangesocks Fri 18-Jul-14 17:15:54

How did it go today?

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 17:40:54

G

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 17:41:10

2 fertilised, they go back tomorrow

foxinorangesocks Fri 18-Jul-14 18:20:17

This is good! I'm so glad you got two x

TheBuggerlugs Fri 18-Jul-14 18:41:34

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me popping by. I wanted to see how Lauren was getting on <stalker>. Good luck for ET tomorrow. Its a really exciting moment, treat yourself to a nice lunch afterwards. Hope the 2ww isn't too hellish.

<waves to Geek and Resp too >

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 18:56:30

Hello!

I'm ok, I'm in at 9am but having sedation so going to theatre

Test day is Aug 4th (day before my birthday) which is 18 dpo but I'm sure I will test early smile

TheBuggerlugs Fri 18-Jul-14 19:08:59

Oooh so you get some groovy drugs, excellent grin My only advice is don't test anywhere before 12dpo. Even though you will feel like you are going loopy. The best tests by far for me were the superdrug ones. I used Tesco and soent hours crying
analysing the results, then did a superdrug one and finally at 13dpo a CBD.

Good luck, you deserve a win thanks

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 19:18:49

I tested early last from 9 dpo and regretted it, I bled before otd so in a way glad I already knew.

I might say 12 dpo then, or 11 smile

I'm just going to plan it around when me and DP are off work so I can fall apart if its another bfn

And thankyou!

TheBuggerlugs Fri 18-Jul-14 20:18:53

You're welcome. If it's ok I'll lurk a bit to provide toe holds and wet fish slaps when needed. The menkul (BESH technical term) is a killer at times.

Lauren83 Fri 18-Jul-14 20:22:52

Please do I need it!

I'm actually rather ambitiously going to wait til 19dpo and test in the eve I have decided, I didn't take any time off with the last cycle but I am this time, I do want 2 days together after testing to fall apart if it fails

I'm off until 14 dpo so could test 12 dpo, I'm back in then until 19 dpo and I have 2 days off after that so its 12 or 19

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 07:58:56

hey lauren how comes you are getting sedation?? i asked about sedation and it wasn't recommended, also i forgot have you had the scratch?? and are you using glue??
also well done to get 2 transferred today, do you know there cell size??

Lauren83 Sat 19-Jul-14 08:07:52

I didn't want sedation but they wouldn't do it without so they are paying for it, I had glue and scratch, both are going back

At st Mary's my transfer took 40 min they couldn't get the catheter and had to change it 3 times and manually fill my bladder

When I had my scratch they couldn't get they said I have a really severe 'u bend' they couldn't even be sure they performed it properly, I could manage with the pain but they want to be able to manhandle me more I think

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 09:17:22

oh ok lauren, all clinic's are different mine said i could have it just didn't recommend it, yes the scratch was the reason i asked about sedation because when i had it done, i totally whited out afterwards and the pain during having the scratch was unbearable, when i had my transfer they tipped me head down as its easier plus i have a tilted womb too, not as painful as the scratch and was quick too!!
fingers crossed for today!!

Lauren83 Sat 19-Jul-14 12:10:15

Well its done, on of the embryos had stopped developing and the other was average so my chance aren't that high now

Do push for sedation if you think its best

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 12:37:29

well done!!
can you be sedated for the scratch?? thats the most painful part of my cycle!!

foxinorangesocks Sat 19-Jul-14 14:32:49

Lauren you are pupo! Sorry one of the embryos stopped growing. I've been on the ten plusser thread on conception for years now and embryo quality has not correlated with outcome at all - there are lots of lovely babies on our Facebook page that were 'average' embryos so it can and does happen. They have also tended to be girls! Rest up today, you've done everything you can now. Well done you.

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 15:15:51

hi guys random question, how long and how heavy or light did you bled for after failed ivf??

foxinorangesocks Sat 19-Jul-14 15:33:54

Bob my period was gross after ivf, heavy but watery and hugely painful, I needed codeine and that is unusual for me. Mine are normally fairly light and nothing paracetamol can't sort out usually. It lasted about a week. Is yours being unusual?

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 16:07:32

yes fox, usual period is 2 days heavy and taking mefanatic acid for those days, 1 day medium flow, last 2 days light and spotting!!
all i had was heavy, with one small clot and mefanatic acid every 4 hours from 4am that morning til the evening, medium to light flow and 2 lots of mefanatic acid nad now all i have is nothing til about an hour ago and that was only a spot or two, no cramps or pain and no painkillers either, i expected it to last 5-7 days at least!!

sideshowbob2 Sat 19-Jul-14 18:16:15

hi co-ordinator says to do another pee test tomorrow

Lauren83 Sun 20-Jul-14 15:42:39

Did you test bob?

I slept most of yesterday

Thanks for the reassurance fox although as you can imagine not feeling too positive

sideshowbob2 Sun 20-Jul-14 16:19:01

yes took 3 different shops to get one then something went wrong don't know what but the control box has nothing in it, so maybe to much or not enough wee, tried to get another one and again all sold out only digital ones left, so going to get another one the next time i'm out!!
so i'm still none the wiser!!
hope your ok after transfer lauren, i slept once i got back from the clinic too!!

sideshowbob2 Mon 21-Jul-14 10:16:57

morning everyone, how are you all doing, i'm waiting for boiler to be serviced and a plumber to fix the taps and plug, so bored and really need to get to the shop to get another, that way i'll know if i can be lifting and moving furniture about or not!!

Lauren83 Mon 21-Jul-14 10:42:09

Morning, I'm off work all this week, my stepdaughters up later til wed pm which will be tough, find it so hard seeing him with her, I know I shouldn't, Bob I can't believe your luck with tests!

sideshowbob2 Mon 21-Jul-14 11:41:30

your telling me, now the boiler man has been and i'm still waiting for the plumber and can't wait to get to the shop!!
when my nephew were younger he used to stay with me for a week during the holidays and i used to hate him going home, even though he was messy and i had more work to do extra washing and cooking, it was nice to have someone to look after and to talk to!! once he was still asleep past 8.30am i was bored so turned some music on to wake him up it was so cute, he came dancing out of the bedroom!! my other nephew stayed with me near xmas one year and it had snowed he still remembers us going out to get grit and playing ice ball with a broom handle and massive lumps of ice!!
how old is your step daughter?? is there anything that you both like to do together??

sideshowbob2 Mon 21-Jul-14 15:52:06

finally got hold of another test and its a no, but i have my consultation appointment on saturday to look forward to and also to start saving like mad, as by xmas i should only have to borrow £5000 so i have enough for the next treatment!!

Lauren83 Mon 21-Jul-14 16:44:04

Its a tricky one as she wasn't allowed to see me until 6 weeks ago, her mum wouldn't let her, I do go and visit her in her own town on the quiet a couple of times over the the past couple of years but my DP got paranoid about the ex seeing me and I was made to duck down in the car and hide in the back bedroom when she did handover, it was handled really badly so its been a tricky situation, he sees her in a different city so for 2 days every week he goes there, he missed loads of key dates during both ivfs, he left me Xmas day a week after our cancelled cycle and he left me on otd for the first cycle, my 30th last year, he wanted to bring her to EC ladst year as he didn't want to miss seeing her and wanted them to go the park whilst I went in on my own

The ex has now finally giving in so she is here now, you can imagine battling infertility and this situ too has been hard

I made her a nice bedroom up, got her everything she needs, took her places on my own, but I'm not gonna lie its been tough

So sorry about your test, sounds like you are being very positive and looking to the future, I'm already planning my next go smile

sideshowbob2 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:46:56

hopefully i would to have the scratch done right at the end of december or early january to then aim for transfer at the end of january or beginning of february, then this gives me plenty of time to save up, also the xmas holidays are nice and long, i always have 2 weeks off both jobs and sometimes 3 weeks off the after school job, plus i would then go back to school for a week or so in the september and then be on mat leave fingers crossed!! there's also no gardening to think about, its nice and dark so i should sleep properly, there's lots of reasons really!!
i've just got to be careful not to slip into a depression and eat for england as thats also so easy to do!!
when are you thinking of having another go if this ones not successful? also if you don't mind me asking do you get your treatment on the nhs or are paying private??

Lauren83 Mon 21-Jul-14 18:58:29

Sounds like you have a plan!

We are nhs luckily, I'm so so grateful our area fund 3, we have 1 cycle left, by the time we are rematched etc I think it will be Feb/March before we go again, we both work in retail management so Xmas isn't a good time to cycle, my work are really supportive but his is a fairly new job so I think waiting is wise

sideshowbob2 Mon 21-Jul-14 19:09:55

your so lucky, i have thought about challenging the health department to see if they would pay for my cycle and of course i would pay for the sperm and egg donors, but don't know if its worth it and if i would get anywhere, thats why i ask, wish it was easier to find a man of my dreams, but i've done all the online dating business and nothing came of it apart from some from strange men that mainly still lived with mummy and could do nothing for themselves, so saving it is!!

Lauren83 Mon 21-Jul-14 20:34:06

My area find singles, same sex and donor you know Bob, we got funded for 3 goes but then had no choice but to make the change to donor but our nhs clinic didn't do it, so we had to apply to the CCG to transfer to a private clinic for donor treatment

Have you seen a copy of the assisted conception criteria for your area?

foxinorangesocks Mon 21-Jul-14 22:17:20

Evening both. Lauren hope you are finding the waiting tolerable. It must bring up all sorts of emotions being with your step daughter, it sounds as if you have had some very complicated times. It is time for your luck to change. Keep thinking about the unknowns of embryo quality. Who knows what we looked like as a bunch of cells? I only get two goes nhs and live so close to you - what pct are you?

Bob boo to test stress and a final no. But it's good to have a plan all laid out.

Day 39 of downregging. hmm

Lauren83 Tue 22-Jul-14 00:47:40

Hi Fox

I'm in Mossley under Oldham, I was in Ashton previous and they are Tamesdide&Glossop both of those areas I was in f
fund 3

How you feeling? Hang on in there not long now

Lauren83 Tue 22-Jul-14 00:48:19

God terrible typos sorry in bed can't sleep and got no contact lenses in

sideshowbob2 Tue 22-Jul-14 05:36:21

no lauren how do i get a copy of assisted conception criteria for your area?
as in the beginning i managed to get a referral to an nhs consultant but as soon as i saw him and said i had no partner he said the essex pct won't be able to help you as they don't have hfea i think but not sure and referred me to the local private clinic which he also worked in!!
thanks all information about how to do more cycles are welcome!!

Lauren83 Tue 22-Jul-14 07:43:27

Find out your CCG online and call them, ask them to email it to you, mine did in 5 mins, read it twice! And see if you can find anything, my GP didn't know the full rules of my CCG, she told me to come back in a year even though I had proven endo, my gynae surgeon told me its 6 months if you have known issues and it said that in the criteria so I went back after printing it?

I don't understand what was said about the HFEA? My understanding is all clinics both NHS and Private report to the HFEA, they are the governing/licencing body for all fertility treatment

sideshowbob2 Tue 22-Jul-14 09:44:40

something to do with nhs don't have a license to use donor sperm or donor eggs, for single people only allowed for couples the gp did print me something and it was highlighted says nhs treatment for couple only!!
i may have wires crossed with the HFEA as there's so many acronyms flying about i never know which is which!!
sorry being really thick now, what am i looking for on the CCG site?

Lauren83 Tue 22-Jul-14 09:57:14

The CCG should have a phone number, just call and ask for who deals with assisted conception funding, I had to go through a couple of people on the phones until I found the right person who then emailed me

If you want to pm me your email address I will forward you the one they sent me to give you an idea

I'm sure it said singles, same sex, donor and it even funds if the woman has a child as long as its to a different partner

Not sure if can combined 2 like donor and singles but same sex must use donor actually?

sideshowbob2 Wed 23-Jul-14 07:25:56

lauren thanks for all your help yesterday!
what you up to today to keep busy during the 2ww, think i was far too busy during my 2ww as it was the end of term madness!!
just saw my brother, he's very stressed as he's moving soon, he came to pick up his medication, he told a couple of ways to boost my credit rating before i have to apply for the loan for the next cycle, he was also talking about getting my back garden fake turfed again, as he thinks he could a sample piece big enough and then take it back up if i need to move!!

Lauren83 Wed 23-Jul-14 09:10:19

No probs I hope it helped, I have a head full of knowledge on some things smile

Consider coming to Fertility friends though it will help you loads I think

My credit ratings terrible, infact I'm lying its not its 986 out of a possible 1000, never defaulted and missed a payment but experian tell me I'm getting refused due to being at my max limit on things, I'm paying a fortune in interest and want to do a balance transfer on a card just to freeze the interest but got declined

sideshowbob2 Wed 23-Jul-14 11:16:10

thanks ff is on the long list of thing to do in my week off!!

yes my credit rating has been terrible at times, paid most off now but one, but that's because it was a loan with ppi, that was never worth having, i pay by standing order to a debit collector its been with them for over 10 years and i'm thinking of stopping it, i only pay £14 a month and probably still owe about £3,500, but with interest as they never froze the loan when i lost my job and all the ppi they owe me i think we are even by now!!
i paid off the small hp on my car last june as i had already paid for half of the car up front at the time, so no other debts, well apart from the £9320 of savings that i just spent on ivf!!
thats how i manage to save so much in the first place and of course having 2 jobs also helps!!

sideshowbob2 Thu 24-Jul-14 18:30:03

hi everyone, random question, but how long does it take for all the ivf medication to be out of your body, as i'm still suffering with constipation which never happens to me as i have colitis, thanks and i hope you are all well!!

Lauren83 Thu 24-Jul-14 23:39:14

Unfortunately that's one I can't help you with but I haven't often heard of that being an issue?

How you feeling did you call those numbers I gave you? Let me know if you join Fertility friends and I will give you the guided tour smile

I'm 5dp 2dt or 7dpo today

I have had very very mild AF cramps, that mild I think I'm maybe imagining it?

I have also been sneezing a lot and google tells me that could be a sign however..... You could literally google BFP and anything and some crazy people on forums will say its a sign so I'm still clueless

I'm back to work Mon so I'm thinking of doing an early test at weekend knowing full well I will regret it and know if its a BFN it could just be too early

Lauren83 Thu 24-Jul-14 23:39:34

fox update please???

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 07:05:13

thanks lauren, i got a bit way laid the other day, taking net and curtains down and cleaning windows!! then i was chatting to my next door neighbour i haven't seen her for ages!!
i always think about phone calls when i first wake up but they are all still closed, will try to remember when it gets to 9am!!
my laptop is playing up, won't back up to the externel hard drive, got my friend coming to fix it on sunday!!
on tuesday i bumped into an ex neighbour, she had said that she had taken the whole 2ww time off work and did nothing, do you think its a good idee, for me for next time, or just not practical?? also do you take aspirin before implantation or just after??
i'm looking for to my appointment with the consultant tomorrow and i'll see my co-ordinator too, hopefully she can help me get plans in place for the next try!!

ControlGeek Fri 25-Jul-14 07:53:35

I am so bad at this keeping up malarkey! Can't wait for my project at work to be finished this weekend so I can get back to normal and have time to come back here again.

sideshow I'm sorry about the BFN. With my first cycle I had slight OHSS and it took about a week or so after AF arrived before the constipation started to shift.

lauren I can't believe I missed your transfer! I will read back properly after the weekend, but I hope it all went smoothly for you.

I hope fox and everyone else is doing ok <waves>

AFM, AF landed this morning, bang on schedule - nobody's more amazed than me! I've paid my money to the Spanish clinic and will be phoning my UK consultant to arrange my day 10-12 scan this morning.

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 10:09:57

thanks control, don't know what BFN or OHSS is but my colitis just means i'm loose all the time, so its a real shock to be constipated as i haven't been for at least the last 11 years since i had my gall bladder out, its a few different stomach pain for me and i'm not used to it at all!! i only bled for 3 days, heavy, medium to light flow and then spotting on the last day, nothing like my usual 5-7 day bleed, so maybe the next one will be longer!!
exciting that you are nearly on your way to your clinic, keep us all posted and good luck!!

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 10:44:43

control thankyou! It was last sat but only got 1 poor quality embie so not feeling hopefull, so exciting for you, you and fox next!!

sideshow I never did the aspirin, lady cycle I went back to work but this one took it off as I had taken no hols but its really dragged, kinda wish I was in work, going to go back mon

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 11:06:48

lauren that's what i was thinking, if i took time off i would be bored stiff and over think everything, which i have a tendency to do anyway!!
i just wondered about the aspirin thing as the consultant that put them in said i had to take the baby aspirin daily while on the ivf medication because they can cause dvt's, also there are mixed messages about others taking it before implantation and other that only took it after, just wrote my list for tomorrow, excited that i least have one more chance!!

foxinorangesocks Fri 25-Jul-14 12:01:34

Hi everyone. Quick post. Lauren agh to waiting! Cramps could be good couldn't they but know what you mean about google not being very helpful. I am always too scared to test and waddle on in a pretend state of possibly pregnant. I start bleeding before I ever get in with a real chance anyway. I so so hope that embryo is burrowing in there!

Bob sorry to hear the drugs are still floating about. I stayed super bloated for a few weeks post ivf and my first two periods were different but then all back to normal. There is a list on the fertility friends site by a poster called agate of all the things you could ask about your cycle, might be worth a look?

Control it's nice when it's a period you want isn't it smile this is happening!
Keep us posted.

I'm now on my 4th day of estrogen and aspirin. I've had some very bad headaches over the last week. I now have a fair bit if ewcm which I'm hoping is normal, whatever that is. My scan is next weds. No idea about transfer though.

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 12:42:31

fox i'm glad to bloating is normal side effects of the drugs floating about too, either that or being constipated is making me feel really fat!!
so fox you were advised to take aspirin before implantation?? is that as well as after implantation?? so how long before implantation do you take it??
what's ewcm i'm really useless at all these acronyms!!
ok i'm going on fertility friends now, seeing as i'm having trouble trying to drill my first ever hole in the wall with my new drill!! so now taking a break!!
good luck for wednesday, how many scans have you had so far?

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 12:44:20

Fox I had such bad headaches when I started them too, they pass so hang on in their

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 12:55:24

ok fox and lauren i'm on fertility friends now, user name of sideshowbob, can you see me and where do i need to look for the info guys??

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 13:03:47

Go on....

Forum

New to fertility friends/introduce yourself, start a new post called something like 'Newbie single ladie 1st failed cycle' or something similar, already pulled some links together for you, there's one with info on what to ask at a failed cycle consultation and a thread full of single ladies having treatment too

I will wait for you in there

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 13:21:13

lauren, waited for the reviewed and approved email, it hasn't come through yet!
thanks when i finally get the email i will definitely look at those!!

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 13:24:55

I will look out for your post and give you the links x

foxinorangesocks Fri 25-Jul-14 15:35:13

Bob I read fertility friends for information but don't post on there. Lauren was just reading another thread by Esther (who I'm sure I recognise as erilou but didn't read whole thread) and read about your transfer escapades, I can't imagine all that happening!

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 17:08:07

fox i'm quite rubbish at these forum's etc, can you can me the exact directions to find the information i need to ask my consultant in the morning, please

foxinorangesocks Fri 25-Jul-14 17:38:46

Take a look here bob.

A lot of it is for own egg cycles but there may be some useful bits in that you hadn't thought of.

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 18:29:12

thanks fox i've printed it, so i can highlight the important parts

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 18:44:25

Bob I have asked them to see to your request to join

sideshowbob2 Fri 25-Jul-14 18:45:25

thanks lauren

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 18:46:05

And fox yeah my transfer was funny! I woke up in the room nearest the waiting room you know the one facing the nurses station? That was my hospital room and was in Nr Patels office for first few hours

I know that thread was weird, there's no way it wasn't her, I spent ages months ago helping her don't know why I bothered

Lauren83 Fri 25-Jul-14 21:51:15

Bob they approved you they said it might be in your junk folder?

sideshowbob2 Sat 26-Jul-14 07:34:34

thanks lauren

sideshowbob2 Sat 26-Jul-14 12:36:15

hi everyone just got back from the clinic, all as the co-ordinator had already discussed after the blood test, so now have a couple of options
1) continue with this plan, save and get a £5,000 loan, to start treatment at the end of the year/beginning of 2015, which will cost around £9320 again or
2) challenge the nhs and ccg and see if i can get some or all treatment paid for or
3) go abroad, possibly spain as treatment is cheaper there,
what do you think ladies, would like your opinions please

ControlGeek Sat 26-Jul-14 13:20:18

sideshow I've pm'd you with my experience so far of my Spanish clinic. I'm a little biased as I've had such rotten experiences with UK clinics, both through the NHS and privately. I think my Spanish consultant is the bees knees even though he does look like Ross from Friends

fwiw I do think it is worth challenging your ccg, you have nothing to lose and the worst that can happen is that they say no.

foxinorangesocks Sat 26-Jul-14 13:32:46

Control I'd be really interested to hear about your experiences too if that is ok? Bob did they give any insight as to possible reasons it didn't work this time?

Lauren83 Sat 26-Jul-14 13:49:55

Bob you must do 2 regardless I told you!

Then I would do 3 rather than 1, I'm not clued up on treatment abroad but there's some great offers from the clinics offering 2 donor cycles for something like 3/4k and there's some that will guarantee you 4 blasts and things like that, younger donors too

sideshowbob2 Sat 26-Jul-14 13:55:17

thank you control for getting back to me so quickly!!
fox, no reasons i had a 50:50 chance and there was nothing that went wrong or major that would change for next time, i had 1st grade eggs too, so it was just luck of the draw i think, i think next time will be alot easier as now i know what to expect and how to prepare myself mentally to deal with all the odd things that occur during treatment!!
i will be speaking to everyone and anyone i can about treatment on the nhs, as i feel that its just not fair that i can't get something on the nhs especially as i've always contributed to the income of the uk, sometimes wish i was gay and then i wouldn't have this problem!! sorry guys having a its not fair moment!!

ControlGeek Sat 26-Jul-14 14:02:30

fox I've pm'd you too - not because the info is hush-hush-top-secret, just that I'm not sure whether it's too much detail for a public forum!

sideshowbob2 Mon 28-Jul-14 16:45:41

hi everyone, I've been very busy on the phone today, I've spoken to the ccg and they are emailing me the ivf criteria and an individual funding request appeal form, also got a appointment with the GP to discuss an exceptional funding request or to see if they will just back the individual funding request, also got advise from the hfea and they told me how to find my local NHS clinics or private clinics that take NHS patients, then got some brilliant advise from the local fertilisation and health advise UK, i also have the number for NICE too!
so how is everyone else and thanks all of you for your help with the phone numbers for all the people i needed to talk to!!

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 17:48:12

Great news Bob

I hope all my inbox waffling was useful! Sounds like you had a very productive day smile

MileEndRoad Mon 28-Jul-14 17:53:05

sometimes wish i was gay and then i wouldn't have this problem!!

How would that help, Bob?

sideshowbob2 Mon 28-Jul-14 18:04:49

yes lauren it was all your inbox information that helped alot!!
now to see what the gp can do on thursday, as my FSH was 18 the last time i was tested, but i can't remember if that was before or after i started taking thyroxine, as nhs guidelines say it has to be 15, so we will see!!
yes exactly mileendroad, if i was gay everything would be alot easier!!

MileEndRoad Mon 28-Jul-14 18:12:41

if i was gay everything would be alot easier!! Well, if you say so - but I can't quite see how being gay would change anything about your situation. Good luck with the next stage, though.

sideshowbob2 Mon 28-Jul-14 18:40:17

mileendroad as the NHS criteria clearly states if you are in a couple straight or gay you can receive 3 cycles of ivf treatment, that's why!!

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 19:23:50

MileEndRoad

Yes to clarify that's correct as in my area a same sex couple gets funded 3 cycles yet Bob being single might have to pay in hers, so it would be much easier for her in the instance we are discussing as it could save her 20k

Where are you up to with your fertility treatment then?

MileEndRoad Mon 28-Jul-14 21:46:28

Indeed, but that's a problem to do with Bob being single, not Bob being heterosexual. Lesbians can be single too.

Lauren83 Mon 28-Jul-14 22:33:54

Indeed they can you are correct and I imagine they would often in that situ be frustrated at the lack of funding set by the CCGS in line with NICE guidelines for their areas and often maybe wonder

'If I was in a relationship things would be much easier'
'If I was hetero and in a relationship things would be much easier'

....When pondering how best to make a family they want so much, as both those comments would be true when applied to access to funding, as we both know that's what Bob meant...

sideshowbob2 Tue 29-Jul-14 10:18:20

exactly that lauren, it is not fair to discriminate against any single person when it comes to, fulfilling a lifetime dream of having a family of my own, as even if i fostered or adopted there are guidelines, as at the present i wouldn't meet adoption or fostering guidelines as i live in a 1 bedroom flat that i rent from the council so i would have a fair amount of hoops to jump through just to get that sorted before even applying, so i face difficulty which ever route i was to take!!

Lauren83 Tue 29-Jul-14 13:34:57

Looks like a BFN here ladies, was expecting it to be honest with the terrible donor result

sideshowbob2 Tue 29-Jul-14 13:39:15

oh no lauren hope your ok, well as ok as you can be, whats your next move??

Lauren83 Tue 29-Jul-14 13:44:24

Well I want to see my surgeon about having a 3rd op as everything's a but mangled in there, and possibly save up for some immunes testing I think

sideshowbob2 Tue 29-Jul-14 13:51:51

good luck with all of those, i have a friend that is coming over tomorrow for lunch and gossip, she had some kind of immune problems where by her body attacked any babies in the womb causing very early births and she lost lots of babies because of it and stopped trying in the end, couldn't adopt because of problems to do with her husband, i'll ask her what she had done

Lauren83 Tue 29-Jul-14 15:50:35

Thankyou!

Immunes issues are often linked to chemical pregnancy and losses which I haven't had but there's also links to endo so need to look into it I think

resipsa Tue 29-Jul-14 16:36:47

Lauren - sorry to read your news. I think we all (and I include myself) think donor treatment is as close to a dead cert as you can get but it's no different from OE treatment really.

I wish that I could say something to help but suspect that I can't.

Don't give up, though. Humans were meant to reproduce so you'll get there.

thanksthanksthanks

Lauren83 Tue 29-Jul-14 16:57:21

Thanks so much

I really did think it was the answer but feel with getting just 1 poor embie from a lady older than me never gave me a decent shot, they said it was a slow embie too and the other 3 never made it so I knew it was pushing it expecting this to stick around

foxinorangesocks Tue 29-Jul-14 16:57:37

Oh Lauren I'm sorry to hear that sad. When is your official testing date? Might it be a bit soon?

ControlGeek Tue 29-Jul-14 17:54:13

I'm so sorry Lauren it feels like you had a really unfair cycle from the get-go. I hope you get some answers on the immunes front. It would be so much easier to get through all of this if we could know when it would actually work for us. This constant feeling that it's never going to happen is so draining.

foxinorangesocks Tue 29-Jul-14 19:26:07

Control I said the exact same thing today to my mum. The not knowing if I'll ever have a baby is so difficult. Thinking of you Lauren thanks

Lauren83 Tue 29-Jul-14 21:16:10

Thanks everyone, I always presumed I would get their eventually, its dawning on me that it might not actually ever happen and I'm scared for the future, I'm kicking myself for getting in debt years ago as what I wouldn't do to be able to happily pay for some private treatment now but I'm lumbered with big debts x

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 05:55:23

ahh lauren don't think like that, just think of me in my situation, if i hadn't put myself on the pill at 22 when i was with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, i could of had a child then, but i had no where to live, smoked and drank alot of vodka most weekends til i blacked out and the rest!! i racked up alot of debt and still have one with debt collectors now!! i've built up my career and worked in the same 2 jobs for the last 12 and 11 years and had my flat for 10 years coming up in august, although a career working with children doesn't pay that well, its what i've always wanted to do, sometimes its hard, but most days i know i've made a small difference to at least one child's life and the little girl i've had after school and in the school holidays for the past 12 years is more like me than her own parents as she spends an awful lot of time with me, in her mannerisms or the sayings that i say, even down to spending time at my place every school holiday as she likes it here, its not so clinical here, i showed her how to fold clothes instead of screw them up the other day!!
i know if i hadn't started looking after her 12 years ago, she would still be wearing a bib, wearing a nappy and have limited 1 or 2 word answers, as when she has been with her parents for a long period of time she points and grunts as she gets away with it when she's with them!! i know she's not mine and i get paid to care for her, but she has come a very long way since i first got her at 4 years old and i pride myself in thinking that i have helped her to become the young 17 year old girl that she is now and i know there is still so much i can do for her!!
there is always the worry that you can't fulfil your dreams and hopes in life, but sometimes there are bumps in life and its how you deal with them to get to the goal that helps, at the moment i have been hit with a bump but i'm trying several different ways to overcome this bump, as giving up and letting the bump win, is not going to happen, positive thinking and that you can achieve your dream but you may just need to approach it in a different way, think outside the box(comes from working with autistic children)
i really hope the bump you are experiencing right now, is just a small blip that can be ironed out and yes do seek more medical intervention, shout loud to get every piece of help you can get, there's someone out there that can help you achieve your dream!!

foxinorangesocks Wed 30-Jul-14 10:18:32

Lauren big hug. Ride out these hormoney bits and then things will become more clear. You've had shitty luck this time so a new donor and immune things perhaps, if needed could be a whole new story. It's frustrating that the quality was a big comprising factor this time. You have had such a long journey but you are young and I feel sure you'll get there.

My lining is 8.5 and I'm good to go. Just need the many many next stages to fall in place.

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 11:03:03

Bob that's so nice to hear how much you have helped that girl, it must be such an amazing feeling, I also had some rocky wild years like you! smile

Fox we are relying on you doing it for the both of us now and cheering you on, our luck has to change soon so come on!!!

My GP has put me back on bladder meds and is facing my referral to my surgeon through today so will focus in that, going to get back into the gym too

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 11:20:25

great news fox, do you have a transfer date??
lauren, the bank said no, very snotty young bird with braces, didn't like her attitude, so i have a list of more phone calls to make, i've also got the gp first thing to see about this funding request thingy, so fingers crossed for that!!

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 12:09:00

Sorry to hear that

Did they give a reason?

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 15:46:02

lauren, snotty braces young bird reckoned it was because i still owe money to debt collectors, not bothered really as i have other options, the apr was 7.9%, i did one last night through experian, the apr was alot higher, but i may just ask my brother or my parents, as my parents just lent my brother 40k for his new flat as he couldn't get a mortgage as he's self employed, my brother is supposed to pay my parents back by February, by trying to get a mortgage once he's been at the flat a few months, so someone will have the 5k to lend me by Xmas, or i could just wait til i've saved or just take a loan with the higher apr, i would have paid it off in a year anyway!! so many decisions and choices!!
will see what happens tomorrow at the gp and then i'll decide my next move!!

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 18:01:05

Only just found this thread... I always feel bad coming into an infertility thread as far as I know I'm fertile I just lack sperm (single lesbian).

I'm on my second cycle of DIUI which I'm paying for privately.

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 18:13:31

hi juneybean, i was originally going to have DIUI, but ovarian reserve is too low, so had to have DE ISCI instead, which was unsuccessful so in the throws of which option to take next!!

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 18:15:31

Ohh I'm sorry sad Did you fund it yourself? It sticks in the throat a bit when you pay out and it doesn't work! If my second go doesn't work I'm going to have wished I spent the money on IVF instead!

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 18:55:34

yes i did, so have a few options now 1) get a loan to fund next ISCI
2) save up for next ISCI
3) ask gp for a funding request for IVF on nhs, which i'm doing tomorrow
so fingers crossed number works!!
yes i does hurt but as friend said i could have spent that money on drinking and going out every weekend easierly over the past 10 years, but i haven't i saved it up!!

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 19:06:49

It'd be interesting to see if you could get funding! It might set a precedent for other singles smile Fingers crossed for whatever you choose.

I've got another scan tomorrow to see how my follicle(s) are coming along (there was only one yesterday at 12mm) my clinic is closed on weekends so I'm praying that we can aim for Monday instead...

foxinorangesocks Wed 30-Jul-14 19:26:17

Hello juneybean, I recognise your username, are you on goodreads? (Ignore if not!). The infertility title is a bummer even when you're infertile! I prefer fertility challenged smile but I started this thread so all stuff donor could be discussed and here seemed the best fit. I think because it is a particular way of building a family and I wanted to touch base with a mini community thinking over the same issues about what it all means, how and if you share it with your child and so forth. I can't wait to get to the stage now where I am a donor parent, embrace it and do my very best by it. Do they match the sperm donor to your likenesses or do you get to select parameters?

Bob sorry that you didn't get your loan. Really hoping your gp can help you unpack if you are entitled to funding. Is diui really not an option? Was it the fsh that was high?

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 19:28:07

Hi Juney

Welcome!!

My area do fund single ladies and same sex couples but I don't know if they fund single lesbians

Are you using known donor? Its funny I posted on pride angel when I was desperately looking for an egg donor and put a pic of me and dp on, I got inundated with lesbian couples asking me for his sperm!

Sideshow that's rubbish about the loan, I'm sure you will get there though

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 19:33:27

Thank you for the welcome!

foxinorangesocks I am on goodreads but username is jefnerf on there... (it's possible I've mentioned my MN username on goodreads as I opened the Book Vipers group if you're in that)

I got to pick my own donor based on my blood test results (I'm ridiculously rare being CMV and rhesus negative!) but I had a shortlist of 5 donors and a friend helped me to whittle him down to one. So he looks a lot like me and my family and has already had a proven pregnancy.

Lauren which area are you in if you don't mind me asking? I am seriously considering IVF for my third cycle (I only bought 3 vials of sperm!)

My donor is from xytex in america (so my child can access his details when they are 18)

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 19:41:04

Juney so am I! I'm o neg and Cmv neg!

Im under Oldham CCG, Oldham and Tameside & Glossop my old CCG are both very generous

I just had my 3rd failed ivf yesterday, first time using a donor, we used Care Manchester, where are you?

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 19:44:48

Ahh I'm at QEH in Gateshead, Tyne & Wear. To be honest I never asked my GP (had a paranoid feeling she'd try to talk me out of it) so have no idea if they offer funding to singles.

So sorry for your BFN sad

Do you have a timeline written anywhere about a typical IVF cycle? It's not feasible for me to take time off work so would probably have to wait until next August when I usually have a load of time off work.

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 19:59:05

Thankyou! I told Bob to do this....

Find out who your CCG is (clinical commissioning group) call them and ask who deals with assisted conception and/or effective use of resourcing, ask them to send the assisted conception criteria for your area by email to you, this will tell you exactly what they fund, if its not good try your families ccgs and considering moving GPs if you find a close one that does, most GPs aren't even clued up themselves, like I said mine fund same sex and singles but you have to 'prove' infertility so they aren't just funding you for sexual orientation, they ask that you have 6 self funded cycles of iui for eg that have failed before you can access it

I will give you a time line for ivf give me 5..,.,

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:05:36

Ok there's 2 types of ivf a long and a short protocol, as a rule a short is used in ladies who have lower egg reserve, below is an example of short but clinics will differ slightly

You jump straight into a stimulation phase

Day 1 of cycle start bleeding
Day 2 attend clinic for bloods and scan then start injections that night
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 9
Day 10 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 11
Day 12 attend clinic for bloods and scan
Day 13 trigger shot at night
Day 14 nothing
Day 15 egg collection
Day 16
Day 17
Day 18 egg transfer

Then test 2 weeks later

You will inject on all the days, some ladies carry on injections for a few days longer depending how they respond, you would also start pessaries to support your lining at transfer too

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:08:23

Long protocol has an extra period of 'down regging' before where they switch everything off and put your ovaries 'to sleep' before restarting, this is sometimes by using the pill, or a nasal spray/injections every day, you might down reg for 2-6 weeks usually where you will usually have 1 scan at maybe day 21 to check its worked, I actually down regged for 65 days it went on forever

The steps above would proceed after the down regging period

juneybean Wed 30-Jul-14 20:10:13

Oohh thanks for this, I really appreciate it. Why do they do the downregging?

Lauren83 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:42:57

Firstly to take control of your cycle medically, I had to down reg for the donor cycle as there were 3 of us in it (1 donor/2 recipients) so we all down regged to 'sync'

I guess maybe your body responds better after a forced switch off i'm not sure to be honest, the ladies on short are usually on it as switching it off can be quite risky as its often harder to restart again after

I'm sure there's a better medical explanation!

sideshowbob2 Wed 30-Jul-14 20:43:02

most of my scan appointments were at 7am leaving plenty of time to get to work

juneybean Thu 31-Jul-14 12:33:17

Ahh I wish my clinic was open so early, it's within an nhs hospital so they open at 8.30am.

Had another scan today and follicle is 16mm, have taken my pregnyl this morning with IUI taking place tomorrow! Eek!

sideshowbob2 Thu 31-Jul-14 12:34:08

hi everyone, how are you all??
today is a great day, the GP said i can put in a exceptional funding request, she asked me lots of questions and is going to speak to another GP(she's new to the surgery)to check how to do it all, i took all the paperwork i could think she would need and asked to have my FSH and LSH blood levels checked again, so fingers crossed!!

juneybean Thu 31-Jul-14 12:46:55

Oh that sounds positive!

juneybean Fri 01-Aug-14 15:52:47

Had iui this morning, now just taking it easy smile

sideshowbob2 Fri 01-Aug-14 16:48:50

hope all went ok juneybean?
do you have to take ant medication afterwards, or just hope the sperm find you eggs??

juneybean Fri 01-Aug-14 18:19:21

Yes all went well, cervix was being a buggar to find but got there in the end!

Feeling a bit delicate now and got some bad news immediately afterwards so that's weighing on my mind!

I'm not taking any further medication, just hoping the sperm find the egg!

ControlGeek Mon 04-Aug-14 13:43:48

Congrats juney! Glad it all went well for you. At my last transfer I'd held on too long with too much in my bladder and was in some serious pain. My cervix decided nothing was passing through it (seriously, everything had clenched!) so it took a bit of effort too. Sorry you've had bad news, nothing too serious I hope.

Clinic did my final scan today, everything looks great - triple echo clearly visible, fibroid behaving itself and keeping well out of the way, lining is 10.1mm. I've emailed the Spanish clinic with the scan report and pictures so should hear back by the end of today about transfer. Flights and hotels are all booked, this is a go!

juneybean Mon 04-Aug-14 22:51:07

No thankfully nothing serious, just lost a load of work for August so a little bit broke! Also making the 2ww go really slowly...!

Glad your scan went well!

foxinorangesocks Thu 07-Aug-14 08:49:06

Well my update is that on Monday, after seven weeks on buserelin, my cycle was cancelled due to poor response from the donor. It's been a very sad few days my end and I haven't yet formulated a new plan. I was given a high estrogen protocol (I have no idea why) which has made me really ill so just riding it out now til the drugs leave me. The clinic have been very supportive but there are things about the way this cycle has unfolded that I'm not very happy about, not least the lack of induction that there was a problem, even when I directly asked. The phone call on Monday was just devastating.

Anyway, control and juney the baton is passed to you! Do keep us posted and wishing you the very best.

juneybean Thu 07-Aug-14 09:44:27

Oh fox I'm so sorry sad

foxinorangesocks Thu 07-Aug-14 09:46:49

Thanks juney, feeling really sorry for myself today. This was our last decent window to try with work leave etc for quite a while. Will keep checking in and cheering folks on though.

sideshowbob2 Thu 07-Aug-14 10:33:39

sorry to hear that fox, hope you manage to formulate a new plan, my plans are all on hold and i'm bored already of waiting to hear if i will get any nhs funding, there's still another 3 weeks to wait as well!! but hey ho, just got to keep busy and try not to think about it!!
fingers crossed for everyone cycling and also those that are formulating new plans!!

ControlGeek Thu 07-Aug-14 17:24:21

God fox I am so sorry, that is just too cruel. I am sure the donor will be feeling pretty bad, but it won't even be a patch on how you must be feeling right now. If you want to vent or let off steam, we're here. Give it time, you'll start thinking about alternative plans when the time is right for you, no point forcing it when you're not ready. flowers

Lauren83 Thu 07-Aug-14 21:14:02

Fox just seen this, god I'm so sorry, my friend had a donor cycle there too and got terrible eggs, what happened? What have they said? Will they rematch you?

I really want to know what the guidelines are for accepting donors there xx

foxinorangesocks Thu 07-Aug-14 21:20:53

Hi Lauren. I have to say that my faith in care and their donor process has been very knocked. If I didn't have my NHS go, I wouldn't be going back. Has anyone reading this had success with donor at Care? Or a good amount of eggs via egg share? I've taken this really hard, I'm sure the emotional and hormonal combo aren't helping. Also their long use of buserelin and my stupidly high estrogen protocol with no evidence it was needed makes me very doubtful of them. I guess I'm just sad and angry, I feel really shat on. How are you lauren?

Thanks control and bob. Time for the luck on here to change!

Sleepswithbutterflies Thu 07-Aug-14 21:26:40

Hi all,

I've had two failed Ivf / icsi cycles. Originally our problem was extreme mfi - morphology particularly low. They said that even selecting the best sperm wasn't great - they had "weird head features".
We've had good fertilisation with both rounds but the embryos have been slow. None have made it to blast and the most cells we have had are 7 by early on day 3. Most have only been 4 cells by day 3. They have very low fragmentation, they are just slow.
We haven't had our follow up yet, they can't fit us in until late September which is bloody marvellous when you want to know what went wrong. They said previously it could be a sperm, egg or both issue.

Consequently we are now considering either iui with a sperm donor, Ivf with an egg donor or possibly going abroad for donor embryo because we don't know if my eggs are useless as well as dh's sperm not being great.

Bizarrely we have one naturally conceived child, conceived 5 years ago the very first cycle.

Have now been trying for dc2 for nearly two years. Strangely I felt after having dc1 that we would never have another baby and so far I've sadly been proved right.

I just came on the thread for company and also to ask if I will have to down reg for donor eggs? Due to suffering horrific migraines when I took the pill I've only done short protocol. The migraines were so awful they caused stroke type symptoms - consequently I'm not keen to take anything that's likely to cause those.

Sleepswithbutterflies Thu 07-Aug-14 21:35:54

Just to add last time we did 50:50 Ivf/icsi because motility had improved even though morphology was 2%.
The Ivf eggs fertilised but were slower than the icsi ones. The icsi ones reached 6 or 7 cells by day 3. The Ivf ones were only at 4 cells.

Do you think this means it is the sperm and not the egg? I'm 31 by the way. Ideally see would rather do donor iui as it is cheaper and less traumatic and we could afford a few goes at it.

Lauren83 Thu 07-Aug-14 22:19:59

Hi Sleeps

Its Lauren from your other thread we tested around same time, I down regged for 2 months for DE, they say fertilisation is an egg issue and what happens after fertilisation points more to the sperm

Are they letting you cycle again Fox? You must be so so gutted, my friend is donor there and got 23 eggs for her lady, have they offered you a consultation appointment?

Sleepswithbutterflies Thu 07-Aug-14 22:26:24

I'm starting to think "sod it, lets just replace them both and go for donor embryos."
I'm put off by having to travel to Spain.

Surely it shouldn't be this complicated!

How long will you wait before trying again?

Lauren83 Thu 07-Aug-14 22:38:08

I would try again next month if we could, but u want to have another lap first check everything's ok, and maybe look at immunes testing just to make sure I have checked everything before the last cycle

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 07:56:39

Just a very quick one - literally about to head out the door to work. Sleeps I'm doing donor embryos in Spain, in fact I'm flying out on Sunday for transfer on Tuesday. It's worked out cheaper (including the hotel and flights) than if I'd done it in this country. Also, the average donor age is much younger and they have a much larger 'stock' to select from so characteristic matching is pretty high.

I'll do a proper post tonight, once I'm back home and finished my to-do list!

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 18:27:35

fox my friend who has had twins from her donor eggs had hers done at Care Manchester, she found them to be excellent but was very disappointed that only four eggs were retrieved. Thankfully they were good quality, all fertilised and she now has her dts, but emotionally it was very hard.

sleeps your situation sounds very similar to mine - terrible male factor, but potential unknown female factors too. I've chosen to go down the donor emby route because I've got two failed cycles under my belt and the consultant can't decide where the issue may lie. Donor emby almost feels like cheating which I'm 100% willing to do right now because we are skipping straight ahead to a guaranteed pair of good quality day 5 embryos. I too get awful migraines but found that I had no side effects from the drugs at all for either the long or the short protocol. In fact, the worst side effects I have had have been off my current cycle's progynova which is a form of HRT. I used to have bad migraines and sickness when I took the pill as a teenager so this kind of makes sense.

We're pretty much done now - just some final packing to do, and last minute cleaning ready for the cat feeders to come round while we're away. It's all hitting home a bit now. Up til today I could ignore the IVF side of things and just concentrate on the holiday but today I was having to do contingency planning at work in case this cycle is a bust as I'll be going straight onto sick leave instead of going back to work if that is the case. I didn't realise how much I was invested, emotionally, in this cycle working. I thought I was convinced it would fail and that I was ok with that. I guess I was wrong.

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 18:34:32

control I so hope this works out for you. Which clinic are you using and is it basically a FET? What side affects have you had?
I'm a type 1 diabetic so am aiming for as little medication as possible - if that is possible with these things! How many times have you had to go to Spain and how long has the process taken? Did they match physical characteristics? What odds have they given you?
I hope you don't mind me asking all this - I'm just feeling totally out of my depth. We would like to get a shot in before christmas if we can. I've emailed a few Spanish clinics, just waiting to hear back.

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 18:35:04

Side effects even!!

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 18:44:16

Thank you sleeps smile I'm using Instituto Bernabeu. They've been ever so good. I haven't had to go out to Spain yet, they do the initial consultation by skype. They put me on a treatment plan that required a uk scan at a clinic of my choice around day 10-12 of my cycle then based on those results (the clinic did me a report and scan photo printouts to email across) they gave me a date for the transfer.

This time my side effects have been migraines and extreme tiredness, but it's completely possible that I would have had that anyway, as it's not been every day.

Technically we only need to be in Spain until after the transfer, but we've decided to make a really good holiday out of it and are staying over for 12 nights. The process was ever so quick, I contacted them the cycle before last, had the skype appointment at the start of my last cycle and am having the transfer this cycle.

Essentially it is just FET, but if the embryos they have selected don't survive the thaw they are able to just choose more from their freezer as we aren't genetically tied to any of them.

They match as closely as possible on physical characteristics, and you can give (I think) up to three things you want them to give high priority to. I asked for the donors to be taller than me, because I hate being short blush

If I were to have one emby transferred they reckon the odds of success are 30%, and with two being transferred the odds are 50%. The donors are so young - average age of 23 for both male and female, so they really are at their peak for fertility.

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 18:52:25

That's where I'm considering! I don't want to be away long because dh can't take the time from work and I don't want to be away from ds for long...

Do you suffer migraines anyway or is it definitely the drugs that have caused them? If I had migraines like the pill caused I'd have to stop because I lost speech and feeling in one side of my body, was violently sick and have never ever been so unwell.
How much has it cost if you don't mind me asking? Can you specify a level of education or only physical characteristics?

Thanks so much for your help!

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 19:02:11

I do get migraines quite a lot, especially when the weather is changeable, which it certainly has been this last week! If you cycle at a slightly less busy time of the year, you will be able to book your flights last minute and spend as little time out there as possible - two or three days should do it (out, transfer and back).

I didn't ask about education, we were just so desperate for it to happen as soon as possible that we wanted to keep the field as wide open as we could. In total, this cycle has cost us £3,000 for the drugs, IB's fee and the UK clinic's fee, plus £2,000 that we spent on the holiday (but we could easily have brought this down to about £800 if we weren't staying for so long). If we have to go again, it will be in January when we can next afford it, and we'll be looking at getting everything done out in Spain, including the scans, because I am so disappointed with my UK clinic. At January rates for flights and accommodation, we'll be looking at around £3,500-£4,000 to cover us being out there for potentially 3 weeks.

Glad I can help smile

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 19:03:02

I'm wondering if I might get away with an unmediated cycle because my periods are exactly 28 days and because the womb lining always looks good.
I wonder if they'd go for that? I need to speak to them I think, although I believe it will cost me £140.
Do I have to get my current clinic do release the medical records to them?

juneybean Fri 08-Aug-14 19:04:52

Even with unmedicated they scan you regularly to see how big the follicles grow.

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 19:08:34

It's definitely worth asking, especially if you have a history of being regular with a good lining. My ovulation is a bit irregular (day 14 - day 20 ish) so thought it safe to do as I was told grin

Yes, the initial consultation is 140 euros (about £113) but after that you can do everything by email, at least that's what I've done, and there's been no additional charge. Good point about your medical records - you'll need to put in a request with your uk clinic for a copy of your notes. You can either follow their own process for around £40, or you can put in a data protection act 'subject data access request' for £10. The turnaround time is usually the same for both, around 40 days.

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 19:15:08

I don't mind the scans. I do mind the migraines.

Do I need my notes before I do the consultation?

Thank you so much for this x

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 19:24:13

IB were happy to do the consultation with the paperwork to follow - mine was received a couple of weeks after the first consultation. Oh - they also need the results of a number of blood tests taken within the last 12 months for you and your DP/DH, again not necessary for the consultation but must be received before the transfer as it's a legal requirement in Spain. If you're over 40 (sorry, I can't remember if you have said your age) you'll also either need to have the results of a mammogram taken within the last 12 months, or have signed a mammogram waiver. I was able to get all of the bloods done on the NHS, so no cost at all (same for DP) and as I'm 37 didn't need the mammogram. I can let you know what tests they are, if you need to get the ball rolling on these.

You are very welcome, I'm really pleased to be able to pass on what I know and help xxx

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 19:37:20

I'm 31 so should be able to escape the mammogram.

What other tests will we need?

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 20:00:06

Embryo Adoption: Required testing
Both members of the couple must have had the following tests done within the last year:
· HIV Antibody
· HBV (Hepatitis B surface Ag, HBs Ag)
· HCV (Hepatitis C Antibody)
· RPR/TPHA/LUES (Syphilis)
The female partner must have had the following tests done within the last year:
· Smear test
· Mammogram (for patients 40 years of age and above)
Further information required:
· Blood type of both members of the couple
· Digital picture of both members of the couple
· Photocopy of passport of both members of the couple
Before starting any IVF treatment, Spanish law requires that:
· Both members of the couple sign the specific Consent form relating to the treatment you have
decided to carry out.

I forgot about the smear - this also has to have been carried out in the last year (Spanish legal requirement)

Sleepswithbutterflies Fri 08-Aug-14 20:10:31

I will have to book a smear then because I think it's been about 18 months.

We had all those blood tests last September but I think we will be just out of date by the time we managed a cycle.

Right I will get the ball rolling! I will contact my clinic on Monday re the records and the blood tests and will email Spain again if I've heard nothing.
I wonder if we would get a cycle in during October or if that's optimistic.

I really wish it was more freely available over here. Travelling abroad makes it so much more traumatic!

ControlGeek Fri 08-Aug-14 20:25:02

October sounds pretty doable to me, especially with guaranteed 28 day cycles.

I think there are a lot of reasons why donors are not as forthcoming over here, I really do think (from a personal perspective) that the lower age in Spain is a massive plus, and the financial payment and anonymity both really help matters - especially from a donor sperm point of view. I mean, who wants to risk being altruistic enough to JIAJ to help someone in desperate need, only to be hit with a CSA claim in a couple of years?

I've actually never been abroad. I've flown three times in my life, one of which was while I was under two years old, one was a pleasure flight to see the Halle Bop comet and once to go to Ireland for a long weekend. I am a massive worrier and can turn even the most fun event into a major traumatic experience for all concerned but somehow, going over to Spain has made this feel like it is within our grasp for once. We have even decided on a Spanish middle name, should we have a girl (if it is a positive outcome at all of course). Sorry, I'm rambling now!

juneybean Sun 10-Aug-14 21:46:23

9dpo/iui today feeling a bit sicky and crampy and if my last diui is to go by my period will arrive on Tuesday so feeling a bit down thinking I'm out.

sideshowbob2 Mon 11-Aug-14 06:56:43

sorry to hear that juneybean, i'm a little concerned that mine hasn't arrived yet after unsuccessful ivf last month, as i only bled for 2 days and spotted for one afterwards, and i usually bled for 5-7 days, my next period was due friday and nothing is happening so far, so very confused sad

ControlGeek Tue 12-Aug-14 15:18:17

Stick with it juney, far too early to know one way or the other yet.

Sideshow ivf really can play havoc with your cycles for a couple of months, my first one following ivf was always short and light, and my next one late as my body adjusted to normal hormone levels.

Afm, I am now PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) and enjoying an afternoon with my feet up. Tomorrow, the holiday starts in earnest smile

foxinorangesocks Tue 12-Aug-14 15:30:37

Nice one control! How did it all go? Juney I'm hoping for the best outcome for you, it could be implantation cramping?
Sideshow it takes a month or two to settle down. I'm having a mega period ugh. I'll be cycling again in January hopefully. Time for getting my body back to usual and work without ivf stresses.

sideshowbob2 Tue 12-Aug-14 16:09:18

wow control thats great!!
yes i'm now a day later than i should be, but been craving junk for days, so i know its on its way!!
fox i hope to try again by January privately if i haven't got anywhere with the nhs funding by then , as i should have saved up enough and got a loan in place by then too!!

ControlGeek Tue 12-Aug-14 18:35:59

Thanks fox and sideshow! The clinic were utterly amazing, far superior to anything I have experienced in the uk. They made me feel like I was their only patient, and that the outcome mattered personally to them. I had a private room to get ready in - full gown etc, dp had to gown up too because they said it was important for him to be present. In the transfer theatre, we watched the embryologist prep the embies on a big screen, and the dr made sure I could see the scan monitor and identify what I was looking at. They treated me like a person rather than a piece of meat the whole time. Then I was given a scan photo following transfer and wheeled back to the room where I had to lie down for half an hour. Then the dr came back in, we had a chat and he gave me a folder containing microscope photos of the embies.

Otd is sat 23 in the uk (day 3 embies - my mistake assuming they were day 5, seems they do day 3 freezing as standard).

If this cycle doesn't work, we will come back here in january for another round - looks like january is a popular time for retrying!

Sleepswithbutterflies Wed 13-Aug-14 12:40:06

Wishing you best of luck control and a very happy holiday x x
Sunshine and relaxation must be good for embryos :-)