5 years unexplained infertility and giving up hope....

(58 Posts)
nohassalls Wed 09-Oct-13 22:01:39

Hello. I'm new here and just wonder if anyone else is or has got to the point of feeling that it's hopeless. I'm 34, DH is 38 ( and beside himself, desperate for kids). Been trying for 4.5 years, clomid-didn't work, IVF with ISCI didn't work, all went swimmingly, put back a hatching 5day blasto, the embryologist was winking at me and saying we're lucky this is best case scenario, and then nothing. BFN. hmm We have 3 frozen eggs, of which 2 cycles of FET have been cancelled as my normally settled cycle misbehaved. Should finally have our FET in a few weeks, but I just feel like it's not going to work. We have a funded IVF coming up soon, but again, it just feels pointless. I've never seen a BFP in my life, there's nothing wrong with us. Humph. Reading success stories on here doesn't even cheer me up, I'm just envious that these couples have been lucky but have no feeling that will ever be me. Has anyone all but given up? Sorry - proper moan-a-thon!

MadameJosephine Wed 09-Oct-13 22:14:37

We had over 5 years of ttc in total, tests showed nothing wrong so diagnosed as unexplained infertility. 9 cycles of clomid gave us a bfp but that was shortlived, no heartbeat at the 6 week mark meant I had an erpc and we started all over again. More clomid, then 3 cycles of IUI. We decided against IVF in the end because we didn't feel we could cope with it emotionally or financially (I have a 17 year old DS so no NHS treatment for us). We totally gave up hope that we would ever Have children together. My miracle DD was born when i was 41 and is now 11 months old and the light of our lives. I know it's hard and that you will have times that you feel that it will never happen for you but I really hope that you eventually get your little miracle too thanks

YouAreMyRain Wed 09-Oct-13 23:18:29

Giving up hope was the only thing that kept me sane. For me (12 yrs of unexplained infertility) the cycle of hope and despair was unbearable.

I finally accepted the fact that I would never get pregnant and realised that the most important thing for me was to be a mummy. I now have two gorgeous adopted DD.

The whole experience of infertility was hideous and very isolating. We had friends with fertility problems who all conceived multiple times while we were being unsuccessful. I felt like the most inadequate human being ever (from a reproductive, survival of the species point of view). The fact it was unexplained made it more frustrating e.g. "it could be "x", if your "x" levels are low we can mend them by doing "y""..... "hmmm it's not that, so maybe ...." Etc etc

It may sound crazy but giving up hope really helped me, the hope was really cruel.


nohassalls Thu 10-Oct-13 08:10:06

Thanks MadameJosephine and You are my rain. Nice to know one isn't alone with this feeling. So true unexplained is the most frustrating... You then worry you haven't had enough tests to truly get to the bottom of it. Then also I try to be philosophical and hope the if /when it does happen the long wait will make sense.....I'm pleased you both got there in the end!

ceara Thu 10-Oct-13 08:15:21

We only have 3 years unexplained infertility behind us so have not gone through as much as you, but agree it is the most difficult, isolating and confidence-shattering experience, and not having a medical explanation is an extra kick in the stomach as it makes it so hard to know when to give up hope. But that monthly cycle of disappointment does tax your stamina and emotional reserves so much.

A book I found helpful, if only because it made me feel normal though it is also good on practical coping strategies, is "when you're not expecting: an infertility survival guide". This has a good section on making the decision to move on from infertility. You might also want to look at gateway-women.com

I have never seen a positive pregnancy test either. Like you I had one round of IVF which was textbook, and a "perfect" 5 day embryo put back, which tried but failed to implant. At which point I mentally gave up. I went back for the first of our (less than perfect) frosties in May as destroying embryos was not something I could do, but if I was young enough to have donated it to another woman (I'm over 35 so couldn't), I would have done in order to give it a better chance. I didn't do a pregnancy test at home as I knew it hadn't worked. I know success stories aren't helping you right now, but the clinic blood test was a good strong positive and I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with that frostie. The clinic did advise from the start that IVF should be approached as a course of three treatments as sometimes it is just about finding the right, and genetically normal, embryo. So while protecting yourself from too much hope and thinking about your plan B may be what you need to do and a good thing, perhaps it's too early to give up completely on plan A?

Happiestinwellybobs Thu 10-Oct-13 08:22:55

I agree completely with You. We tried for 8 years and having been finally told that IVF was never going to work, I worked through a lot of anger, grief and guilt (the issue lies with me) I finally entered a stage of acceptance.

We decided to take a couple of years to concentrate on us as a couple and had a ball - doing the kinds of things we could never have afforded with DCs. Having taken time out from the seemingly relentless discussions of infertility, we came to the conclusion that not having children was not an option. We adopted DD last year.

Having been to the depths of despair over the years, I honestly and truly am thankful that we didn't have a birth child, as we wouldn't have DD if we had. As soon as she came to ours I finally put everything behind me.

Moaning is perfectly understandable smile. Good luck with whatever happens.

BeetleBeetle Thu 10-Oct-13 12:44:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anroga Thu 10-Oct-13 12:58:06

Hi nohassalls and girls

We have recently been told that we have unexplanined infertility after 3 years of TTC (I know that is no where near as long as some of you have been trying but was interested to read your posts as I thought it might just be me thinking like this...) just finished a 2nd cycle of clomid which I am waiting agonisingly to see if it has worked (I ovulate naturally every month but the specialist thought it was worth a try for a couple of months).

If that has not worked our next step is IVF which we have to fund ourselves as my fiance has two kids already.

In the last year TTC has been all I think about, get very down about, seem to talk about and am feeling very like how many of you have said you feel.

I have decided that if the clomid does not work I think we both need a break before going for IVF so would make a plan at the beginning of next year.

We would only be able to afford one go at IVF and then if that did not work we have both discussed the option of adoption. I don't think I could carry on with the dissapointment and the pressure it puts on your relationship TTC.

It been good to read your success stories with adoption on here and nohassalls is that not something you have thought about?


rabbitonthemoon Thu 10-Oct-13 21:31:25

Hi, reading this thread with interest. I'm 36 and have been ttc for three years. I was kind of unexplained with just a borderline fsh but a recent scan has taken me straight to infertile, do not pass go, do not collect £200. There were only two follicles to be seen. Now we finally have a reason, it doesn't feel better at all, even though I always thought it would. I'm taking my nhs ivf go with my own eggs anyway as I just need to and the cons said you never know, he's seen it work before. But I know in my heart it would be a bloody lucky break for this to actually work first time.

I recognise the giving up hope thing - this was a corner turner for me a year ago. I no longer expect to be pregnant, I don't chart or know the day of my cycle like I used to. It still feels shit when my period comes though. I ovulate, I have ewcm, it all feels like it is a system that works, it's so hard that it just doesn't. At all.

It's good to see people on here who have adopted and found some kind of closure on the wretched blight of infertility and who couldn't imagine it any other way - I love that. I can't wait til I am sitting with my child and all of this is behind me. I wish none of us were suffering through this, quietly and bravely and I hope that things all work themselves out quickly. It helps to know I'm not alone. Good luck op.

eurochick Fri 11-Oct-13 15:00:13

I'm in a similar situation. We are also unexplained. We've been ttc for 3 yrs. The only BFP I have seen was on the first of my 3 natural IVF cycles (I went on to miscarry).

We embarked on this saying we would try three cycles, but I am not ready to stop, so we are taking a break and trying to assess where to go from here (most likely a stimulated cycle with a scratch, but we are undecided on whether to change clinic for a fresh start).

It is really hard. Throwing myself into my work recently has helped but the only thing that is going to make me feel better. It was only during the few short weeks of pregnancy I had after my first IVF cycle that I remembered what it was like to feel like myself. I was finally happy, only for it all to come crashing down.

nohassalls Sun 13-Oct-13 20:54:26

Thanks for all the lovely posts. Funny feeling to be happy you're not alone, but also sad for everyone's different and difficult stories. It's crappy! Several of you mentioned the numbers game of waiting for the right embryo to stick and it's probably a good way to think about it. Blimmin science. It's dangerous when you start wondering about 'meant to be'... And why (me)? But I find it hard not to go down that route when every single one of my friends gets pregnant IMMEDIATELY... Just to twist the knife. What is that about? Anyway. Happiestinwellybobs, I loved your post. However you get to your destination, I bet it's amazing to look back and realise you wouldn't have it any other way. I look forward to that day...smile

stillhopefulforanother Sun 13-Oct-13 23:19:28

I thought I'd share my story. It's long but I will be brief.

After TTC for two years naturally, we embarked on IUI (2 cycles, both BFN), then IVF (4 cycles all BFN). All our tests we had up to date came back ok, so unexplained infertility.

Desperate, we changed clinics. The new clinic ran additional tests related to my immune system (nk cells), this revealed a problem. So I was recommended immunosuppressant drugs. I did three cycles with this new clinic and got pregnant each time (2 miscarriages and then a successful pregnancy which resulted in DS).

So for all you guys out there, please do one more test - for immune problems.

It worked for me and is worth ruling in or out.

Good luck.

LadyMedea Sun 13-Oct-13 23:32:17

I feel guilty posting on this page as infertility isn't something ive experienced myself. I have however just finished this book - http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00E257VH4/ref=oh_d__o02_details_o02__i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 - which I thought was a wonderful memoir about one couples experience of modern fertility technology so maybe it would be somehow comforting for you.

anroga Mon 14-Oct-13 10:36:38

Hi girls

My AF arrives yesterday after finishing my last cycle of clomid, I feel devastated as I really thought it might of worked.

We have unexplained infertility and have been TTC for 3 years so how next step now is IVF.

I really feel that TTC has taken over our lives especially this last year, its all I think/talk about, our lives revolve around the caldender and the lows I feel when my period arrives are terrible, you all know what I am talking about I am sure.

I really feel that we need a break from it all before we go down the road of IVF (also we have to fund the treatment ourselves as my fiance has two kids already).

Have any of you took time out and found it helped?

Any of your stories/advice would be appreciated.

So glad I have found this thread as the clomid one is now use to me now xxx

eurochick Mon 14-Oct-13 14:43:40

I'm taking a couple of months away from IVF now, as I mentioned above. I do feel a lot better for it.

Karbea Mon 14-Oct-13 14:55:25

Hi eurochick we've decided not to proceed with ivf anymore, we've tried twice and had planned to do it 3 times, but we can't afford to do it right now, and I'd always said I wouldn't do it after I was 40 and I'll be 40 soon, so that's us out.
I now need to work out what I going to do with the rest of my life, I gave up work as part of the journey and we've now got a dog, so don't really want to go back full time.
I feel better weve a plan (ie no plan) but a bit empty if I'm honest).

Franchini Mon 14-Oct-13 15:06:35

I Just want to say "Don't give up hope!"
It took us three goes of ICSI to have our lovely DD.
Am now preg with Twins after another ICSI.
My motto at the time was - just keep plodding on.
Have faith. Good luck x x

anroga Mon 14-Oct-13 17:03:53

Eurochick, Karbea and Franchini thank you for your messages.

Glad to hear you feel better for the break Euro and are going to reasses the situation I really feel like that is what I need to do now, have a couple of months of so off and then in the New Year make a plan.

I am so sorry to hear that the IVF has not worked for you Karbea but can understand how you don't want to carry on with it any longer. I think making a decision and then in turn having a plan really does help, it is the not knowing or thinking you haven't tried hard enough which is a nightmare thats why I have at least got to pay for one IVF treatment...if that doesn't work like you we are not in a position to pay for anymore treatments. I have a little dog and she is an absolute joy and takes my mind off of things hope yours does the same thing smile

Franchini great to hear it has worked for you and you are now expecting twins! Wow! I won't give up I can't not yet but just to have a little break will do us both good I think. Plodding on describes exactly what we all do with infertility!


HesterShaw Wed 16-Oct-13 12:00:13

Hello all, (hi Euro my love xxx), hello Karbea - I think I remember your name from the Frolickers' threads back in the early fifteenth century when I started TTC.

Just to join in, I have more or less given up hope completely. I just can't envisage a child in the house, a baby in my arms, a line on a stick, a fat pregnant tum, anything. In fact I have always been like that, even when we started TTC. In my more superstitious moments, I think that's why it has never worked for me - because I haven't believed enough. Nearly four years TTC, never even a line, two failed IUIs (the second one of which looked from the outset as "good as it can possibly look" apparently). I'm 39 next April and starting to feel very old. People say "Don't give up hope" and then tell stories of people they know who had babies unexpectedly at 41, or had a baby after six rounds of ICSI. But none of it feels like that could ever happen to me.

We have our IVF appointment on Thursday. This is funded, but my heart is sinking on hearing stories of people being told you should look at it as a cycle of three, because we won't be able to do that. I am certain this won't work either. I asked about immune difficulties last time and they looked at me as though I was speaking another language and said they didn't know anything about that. I am wondering if I have something in my body which completely rejects any kind of invader - I am never ill, have colds or flu or anything. If I feel fluey and rotten on day, by the evening or the next morning it is gone again. Can you have just an incredibly strong immune system which kicks ANYTHING out? Including fertilised eggs?

I have seen an immunologist in the last year, because I occasionally have these very strong reactions which I think are allergic, but no allergen can be found. I was referred as part of the whole fertility investigation, but only because they wanted to see if I would be allergic to any of the drugs involved in IUI (I wasn't).

I can't see us adopting either.

At times I think I would be perfectly content without children, but then I see a mother and baby smiling at each other, or a little girl holding her dad's hand and skipping and the future looks frighteningly bleak, and that the whole world knows a joy which I will never have. It's scary.

Sorry to go on and to sound so negative. I am quite a fun person usually smile

nohassalls Wed 16-Oct-13 12:41:34

Hi Hester

I felt, reading your post, like I'm reading my own mind! I totally felt right from the start that it wasn't going to go swimmingly.. as soon as we were married we tried and I kept saying 'If we're lucky enough to get pregnant'.... 'if it happens' to everyone (at this point non of my friends had kids so I had no frame of reference about how easy it would be for all of them and how hard for me), My mum pointed it out once saying it's almost like you knew it wouldn't happen. I totally don't think the cause is attributed to this 'negative' belief, rather I think it's probably a case of intuition... otherwise you're basically saying you're the cause of your own infertility. It has been raised with me many times though, that this feeling, coupled with the fact I'm personally not desperate for a child (while my husband is) and that I could in all honesty, wait another year or two, could be the the 'cause', like on some level I don't want it... a notion I'd also like to reject cause it's basically again making it my fault it's not happened when it could quite simply be scientific bad luck.

Interesting about the immune test... A lot of people on Mumsnet say that simple test changed everything for them. Would like this could be explored before I'm pumped full of drugs again. I must say I felt like the very minimum has been done by the NHS to get to the root of the cause... sadly, I also feel that each time I go in there( which is about every 3 weeks these days), they know my name, but have to remind themselves all over again what stage we're at and forget everything we discussed last time. Boooo.

It's a very scary feeling just not knowing if it will ever happen... and I feel your pain about seeing others experience something so wonderful, that I may never know.

SaltySeaBird Wed 16-Oct-13 12:55:58

I had a few issues and it was heartbreaking thinking I might never have a child. I'm the very proud mother of a little girl now (and TTC number 2!).

I have a friend who is pregnant after seven rounds of unsuccessful IVF. Her perseverance and determination is remarkable.

I hope things work for you. Don't lose hope yet.

MyNameisBuggerlugsAndIAmABESH Wed 16-Oct-13 12:56:10

Hi everyone (and Hest & Euro)

I've been TTC for 3 years (almost) and in that time i've had 2 natural pregnancies that both ended in mc, 6 months of clomid that resulted in a CP and despite there being nothing medically 'wrong' with either of us I can't seem to be able to get or stay pregnant. Like Hest we're due to start IVF in the next 2-3 months but I've pretty much already decided it won't work. When we started TTC I could see myself as a mother but now, 3 years later I really can't and it feels like one of those things that happens to other people.

I've been on another MN thread for over 2 years and i'm even now questioning whether I even belong there. I feel like the infetility boards are more suitable for me as I simply feel so bitter and grey that I find it hard to be happy for others who get pregnant, even after a fight.

I'm only 31 but i've already given infetility too much of my life, time, emotions and head space. I don't want to be still here in 12 months time feeling the same. I simply want my life back.

HesterShaw Wed 16-Oct-13 14:35:03

That's it, Bugs. I want to want my life back and move on with the rest of it, but I'm scared of doing so. Will I get to 45 and be even more bitter than I am already, and angry with myself for not trying harder and better? And old age without children is a very scary prospect - seeing what my parents are going through with my dad's dementia and imagining what it would be like for her (my mum) with none of her children or grandchildren. Because not having children means that - it means no grandchildren either (sorry to state the bleeding obvious grin).

I know it is really meant well and kindly, but at the moment I have an issue with people who say "Don't give up hope, there's always hope - we gave up and now we have a DD aged 1" and so on. Because even if you have "given up" while still having unprotected sex, there will be a part of you until the menopause which thinks "I might have a miracle this month" even though you bleakly know that it won't happen. So does "giving up" mean starting with contraception again, even though you know you don't actually need it? And there's the whole sex thing - all I associate sex with at the moment is failed baby-making. Sex is for making babies, and I can't do that. Therefore what's the point? That's what my heart is whispering to me, even though people with children would tell me what rubbish that is.

HesterShaw Wed 16-Oct-13 18:14:46

Oh dear, killed the thread grin

MyNameisBuggerlugsAndIAmABESH Wed 16-Oct-13 18:17:52

No u haven't, you've explained (well) how you feel. I feel similar.in that I've had a glimmer of hope 3 times and each time its turned out to be wasted so now I don't hope anymore. I just want to know if this will ever be worth it, and there isn't a single person who can tell me if it will or not.

nohassalls Wed 16-Oct-13 18:25:52

Don't even get me started on sex. BOOOORING. I feel ripped off as our whole married life has been consumed by ttc sex... which has its ups and downs... literally... hoping one day it will go back to not being a a chore.

HesterShaw Wed 16-Oct-13 18:38:44

Yes, it's a case of "Now then, how quickly can we get this done?"

Though we haven't been properly trying for a few months as we don't feel there's any point and we know ivf is coming up. The clinic would doubtless advice us to continue to "make love" three times a week, and to relax hmm

rabbitonthemoon Wed 16-Oct-13 21:13:14

Hello hello. Hester and bugs without meaning to sound creepy I do lurk on the besh thread so feel like I kind of know you. I live on the ten plus thread. Maybe you lurk too or maybe I can just feel like a dick for being a lurker. I never felt cool enough to be a besh!

Anyway, every post today has meant quite a lot to me as I understand entirely how all this feels. I'm three years in, everyone else got pregnant and all I got was a sucky box of ampoules of fertility drugs harvested from the wee of post menopausal ladies. And I get to go to my third wedding anniversary trip away tee total and with a big fat yellow and purple sharps bin in my luggage. Ha ha - I have to find the hilarity, it kind if keeps me going.

Seriously though I really am comforted to know that there are people out there that get it, every bit of it - even though no one should have to drag themselves through the murky soup of infertility. It all hurts, it all feels hopeless but I think they are essential ingredients to the long term ttc ride - negativity does not exclude us from the potential of success. I am SURE that most women who tried for more than 6 months didn't feel worried that it might not happen.

Have no idea where I'm going with this now. All I know is that at the three year mark I feel lonely, hopeless and scared. And quite unique in my own social circle, like a rarity in a zoo. I cried when I heard that panda had a miscarriage.

rabbitonthemoon Wed 16-Oct-13 21:16:24

I meant did feel worried. Oh dear. It is my 33rd cycle of ttc. I have hardly any eggs left. What part of my brain rustles up the thought that this could be the month? I need that brain bit in other walks of life.

HesterShaw Wed 16-Oct-13 22:24:54

Lord, I've not even been on the BESH fred in months <slightly weirded out> grin

seamermaid Thu 17-Oct-13 11:39:26

Hello all. I look through the infertility threads which I feel is where I belong (rather than one of the conception threads).
Hi Rabbit! Hi Euro.
After trying for 4 + years I feel tired and exhausted. I haven't even got to ivf yet. Reading some of your posts really resonated.
I have never seen a BFP ever in any of the tests I have done. I don't feel I have ever even come close.
I try to be positive and but it's getting hard to believe that it can happen.

MyNameisBuggerlugsAndIAmABESH Thu 17-Oct-13 14:53:22

Rabbit I'm quite touched that you stalklurk the BESH.Its not been an easy time for us lately and I feel like I don't really belong there as I'm one of the old timers and have seen almost everyone come and go and some are now on baby number 2!!! sad

I had accupuncture last night and my needles woman is lovely. I told her how I was feeling and she had a reassuring word with me and basically told me not to be defeated.

anroga Fri 18-Oct-13 15:32:48

Hi girls

Seamermaid I feel the same as you after just 3 years of TTC (unexplained infertility), IVF is our next step. I am the same as you in that I have always tried to remain positive but am starting to now find that very hard, just feel like it is never going to happen.

I am fed up of being surrounded by friends/family that either have just had a baby, are pregnant with their 2nd, 3rd etc, just got married and just like clockwork got pregnant within a year of being married! You try not to be envious and be so happy for them when really sometimes you feel like shouting THIS IS NOT FAIR!

We have decided to have a break until the New Year and then we will make a plan for IVF (we have to fund it ourselves as my fiance has two kids already). My heart is even starting to sink about that though after reading posts that you need 3 cycles, we could never afford that at £5K a time.

Sorry for wittering on its just so nice to share with people who understand smile x

seamermaid Tue 22-Oct-13 16:48:39

Anroga - sorry to hear you are going through the same. Did you managed to get some tests at least via your GP. It's a shame that the nhs won't cover ivf for those whose partner already have children. It is difficult.
I believe nhs hospitals that offer ivf privately are cheaper than private clinics. Maybe it's worth looking into? It is true that they say you should plan for 3 rounds but if you manage to get a few embies you might get some to freeze and that could be cheaper as FET is a bit cheaper I believe. Good luck!
I hear you on friends who are all pregnant. On the whole I am v happy for friends but it does get difficult to handle when you have been trying for much longer and good friends around you are getting pregnant as soon as they get married. It's not their fault and I do tell myself it's not a zero sum game but when we are dealing with frustration month after month it gets old quickly.

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 31-Oct-13 19:21:28

Thought id check back in and see how everyone is?
I'm dwelling and having a 'dark' day today.

Hi there,
so sorry you're in this position - so hard I know. My dh and I struggled with unexplained infertility for 2.5 years. Didn't get to the ivf stage as we were early thirties.

After 3 years I did fall pregnant... and I think a combination of the following helped (sorry if you've done all this already)

1. this book which talks about getting your body as healthy as possible for conception and having some essential nutrients that are vital for your fertility.

2. Contacted a charity called Foresight who provided tailored nutritional supplementation designed to aid fertility. Had hair analysed and a custom made scheme put together. Also had to avoid alcohol, caffeine, white sugar, white flour and eat organic as much as possible. Pretty hard core, but their stats are good, and also following this prog ivf success rates were 1 in 2.

3. I also had reflexology aimed at fertility.

All of these three, plus the Foresight stuff which also helped us feel that we were doing something constructive, did the trick. It took 9 months on the same programme to fall pregnant second time. Now have two special dcs.

Foresight still going

Wishing you all the best.

nohassalls Thu 31-Oct-13 19:45:37

Think I'm on the brink of some dark days myself. I'm on 10 dpt after the natural FET I mentioned at the start of this thread, and things arn't looking great. Surprise. Weirdly I feel nothing as I suppose that's how low my level if hope is. I'm not even sure I'll feel upset.... Just another level more removed from feeling I'll ever see a BFP. Boooooo. Jeeze megawinge today! Sorry you asked Buggerlugs?

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Thu 31-Oct-13 19:47:55

hassels - sorry its not going well. What makes you think it isn't?

nohassalls Fri 01-Nov-13 10:06:03

Just none of the typical symptoms, seems like AF started the other day though it has disappeared again, I imagine not for long tho. Just feeling typical PMT vibes...

nohassalls Fri 01-Nov-13 10:06:42

... And are you having a less dark day today?

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Fri 01-Nov-13 10:45:03

I was.... until someone posted a birth annoncement on fb <bitter>.

When are you due to test? I know its so so easy for me to say but try to fight the negative thoughts. That embryo needs you rooting for it. It needs you in its corner / on its side as you're all that it has. thanks

nohassalls Fri 01-Nov-13 11:13:08

Thanks and you're right. I'll make myself a decaf hmm coffee and try to cheer the heck up! FB can be the enemy... today someone literally put up a picture up of a bun in an oven. Hope the darkness goes away soon for us both/all ...

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Fri 01-Nov-13 11:54:17

Me too. I will feel more positive when I know my injecting timetable next week. I currently feel in limbo land.

nohassalls Fri 01-Nov-13 12:35:17

Yes once dates are in place it helps to focus on something. I assume I'll be doing our funded ivf in a month or so, hopefully ASAP. At least some of us might be doing it around the same time....

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Wed 06-Nov-13 19:03:36

Hey Hassals how are u feeling? Any closer to finding out your cycle schedule? Our appointment is tomorrow and we'll probably pick all the drugs up. I can help feeling like its pointless - having children happens to other people, not me.

livingzuid Sat 09-Nov-13 20:30:33

Ladies my heart goes out to you we were ttc for two and a half years with bog all. Then a mc at six weeks that broke my heart. My problem turned out to be a severely underactive thyroid. Pregnant now and shitting myself as I am high risk but there is hope I was nearly a lost cause. As well as getting my thyroid medication and my tsh stabilised under 2 I was desperate and tried out Maria Peer's book. She tends to self peddle and product promote but the concept of positive thinking I found very powerful even in my most I don't care any more moments of which there were a lot!

I refused for months to look at fb filled with literally everyone having babies! My best friend sent me a whatsapp to let me know about her second she was so worried to tell me. Please hang on in there you are all so wonderfully brave. It can and does happen smile I wish you all the very best.

nohassalls Sun 10-Nov-13 08:23:24

Hey Buggerlugs. I wrote a reply and posted it but it's never showed up. I had written to say that I'm feeling very shocked and apprehensive to write that the FET worked and after 5 YEARS we got our first ever BFP. Just can't believe it, I was the one who began this thread at the very end if my tether. Very early days of course, so naturally we're being very cautious with excitement levels, basically just entered a brand new world of nerves that many of you must know so well. How was your appointment? Did you get your meds? How are you feeling?

RandomMess Sun 10-Nov-13 08:30:51

Close friends had unexplained infertility and various IVF type treatments - finally conceived naturally after 10 years, it then took 5 years to again conceive naturally. It can happen after all those years of heartbreak and going down the adoption route.

Big hugs to you all, life is unfair x

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 10-Nov-13 08:42:43

Nohassals that's truly wonderful news - congratulations thanks

I'll give you some advice someone once gave me - try to stay in the moment, the here &'now. Don't look to tomorrow or yesterday but focus on the today. Today you are pregnant. The advice won't change whether the embie will stick or not but it will help you stay in control and stay sane. thanks

TheBuggerlugsThatActuallyPosts Sun 10-Nov-13 08:44:30

Aa for me - I start injecting on cd21 of my next cycle (xmas day!!!) Still hoping for a natural pregnancy so between now and my next period we'll give it all we can before we have to use protection!

nohassalls Sun 10-Nov-13 09:58:35

Ohhhhh hopefully a Christmas miracle smile good luck in the meantime with the natural efforts! We read an amazing story about a couple yesterday in the news who on 2nd IVF had triplets, but the twins we're completely natural as they'd left 2 eggs behind on egg collection, and the third was the embie?! So all sorts if stand things can happen when you least expect it. Thanks for your advice, I am certainly taking comfort in the fact we've finally got to this stage. I just never thought I'd see a BFP so that's a start and at least we know it's possible at last. Are you excited? How do you feel during all the injections etc?

nohassalls Sun 10-Nov-13 09:59:54

* strange, not stand...

rabbitonthemoon Sun 10-Nov-13 20:32:40

Hassalls that is amazing news smile it must all feel so surreal. Wishing you a non eventful 9 months thanks

nohassalls Sun 10-Nov-13 21:45:58

Thanks Rabbit. Very, very surreal! blush

ceara Tue 12-Nov-13 20:59:23

Hassalls that is amazing news, I'm so pleased for you. As buggerlugs says, just try and take one day at a time - easier said than done, I know :-)

helterskelter99 Tue 12-Nov-13 21:05:15

Sorry this is brief
Get your thyroid checked
And immunes tested privately as nhs don't really test yet

( 3 mc plus 4 rounds of icsi for our miracle who was worth the wait!!)

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 14-Nov-13 13:49:49

Eurochick pointed me to this thread and like others said, it's heartening in a horrible way to find others here. I've had 3 failed IVFs with very low AMH so I feel a total failure as a woman. I'm now 39 and reckon we have reached the end of the road at least as far as my own eggs are concerned. DE is our next consideration. I turn 40 in August and I want it all over by then. I can't handle any more bad news (but, I say over, we won't use contraception ever again, so make of that what you will).

I am rubbish at posting on my phone but just wanted to join in the general cathartic release! For the record, I don't think thyroid, immunes, reflexology, acu, yet more IVF or a better diet will get me pregnant. Maybe one month the stars will be aligned, but the false hope can be quite painful. And I share the thoughts of many of you about the good news stories feeling so irrelevant, as they haven't happened to you.

May my next post here be cheerier smile

StarzInMyEyes Tue 26-Nov-13 12:27:59

Hey All,
I too have been struggling with unexplained and don't know when will the d-day arrive. Have been TTC for 4yrs and never ever got a BFP. Both of us are 32 with low amh (0.62), good SA for DH but 6% normal acrosome.

Any suggestions? It is so frustrating and difficult to keep going like this.


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