Mumsnet Talk

I am wondering if there is a wonderful person out there who would consider donating eggs to myself and my partner? He and I are desperate to become parents but I’m unable to use my own eggs – we have recently had two rounds of IVF with donor eggs. We got pregnant the first time, but I miscarried at 6 weeks and on our second try with frozen embryos we got a negative. We are London based and already with a lovely clinic but face a long wait now we have to rejoin the donor waiting list again. If there is anyone out there who would consider being our donor please PM me so I can put you in touch with the clinic with our unique code number to reference you back to us. Thank you so much in advance. x

More info: what's involved? Is it dangerous? Is it painful? How much time commitment?

I would but I am based in Devon. Good Luck with everything x

I have considered donating my eggs, as they are no longer any use to me, my family is complete.
However my worry is that i would be connected to that child.
Is that the case?

Pocket I would consider it but am currently 17 weeks pg, how soon would you need/want to harvest.

Might be useful for people to know whether you have a preference to race etc of the egg donor.

Ive just had a look at the egg donation website. Ive just turned 37 so think i would be too old

Pocket, I hope you don't mind my asking, but why don't you travel abroad for treatment? Genuinely interested as I've looked in to it myself (no waiting lists, anonymity for life) and it seems much easier than pursuing treatment in the UK. I'm wondering what I've missed/why others think/feel differently. I'm interested in another view point.

Hello

Thanks for all your responses you are all so kind and its massively appreciated

I’ve never had egg collection myself (my eggs are no good hence I need a donor) but eggs are collected under local anaesthetic. I believe its potentially uncomfortable rather than painful. Prior to collection you'll be given meds to stimulate the follicles to develop the eggs. I don’t think its dangerous as such but you will be carefully monitored. In terms of time, I think there would be probably a few appointments at the clinic – one for initial consultation, certainly a scan to see how thing are developing and then another for the actual collection. You’ll need to have some blood test (HIV, blood type, chlamydia, hep b etc - I’ve had similar ones done) so we can be full checked out and matched etc. Here are a couple of links with relevant info which I hope is helpful…

hsfc.org.uk/fertility/egg-donation/

hsfc.org.uk/egg-donors/

In terms of geography, I really don’t mind where you’re from – if you can get to London then we could make it work.

Legally, donors have no responsibility at all for the child – and the donation can be completely anonymous, ie donor and recipient would not meet. When the donor conceived child reaches 18, they can contact the donor – but again there is no legal responsibility/liability at all. Here is the official link to the HFEA site. www.hfea.gov.uk/1962.html

I’m white, 5’3”, small build, brown hair, fair skinned with blue eyes (but with mine/DP’s heritage, we’d be happy with olive skin and brown eyes too).

We are also looking into overseas donation but I’m struggling to get my head around it. Besides, my treatment to date has been with a really nice clinic in London where I’ve been treated well and would like to continue my treatment there…

In case you want more info my clinic is these guys hsfc.org.uk/ and my unique reference number is 177 – I’d be grateful if anyone interested quoted this numbers as otherwise I may lose you to another recipient!!

Thanks again...

x

I'd have done it, but my AMH is low, and on the highest stim meds I only produced two eggs for my friends last year.

For anyone interested in doing it, it really only takes a small amount of your time. Of course you need to make time for scans (internal) and be prepared for blood tests etc. but once treatment starts you are done and dusted in 2-3 weeks.

Hearing that your recipient is pregnant is the best feeling in the world.

Thanks Melindaa i really appreciate your message and kind words. FX i'll find someone as lovely as you.

Do you know if depression classes as mental health problems? Would love to donate to you but have had depression.

Crass I know but do you get paid ?

<<<<<skint emoticon>>>>>

Pocket I shall message you and let you know when baby has arrived, hopefully you will have found a donor by then. (by the sounds of it we are of very similar colouring and build)

Good luck if I don't contact you before jan and u have yet to find anyone please message me to remind me, I am very forgetful!)

Hi Sparkly I'm really not sure, sorry, will see if i can find out...

Korma £750 check out the official link from HFEA www.hfea.gov.uk/egg-donation-and-egg-sharing.html

Thank you Stacey will do. Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. xxx

I did egg donation 2 years ago for my sister. It is very hard and although not particularly painful, it is stressful and the hormones play havoc with your emotions.

It was longer than 2-3 weeks for me because my eggs didn't grow too quick, so it was more like a month.

Personally I wouldn't do it for anyone other than a family member, but I do think it is an amazing thing to do for someone.
We had to have a lot of counselling - as a couple, as a group and individually to make sure everyone was on the same page, and this covered things like what we would tell the child, our child, how we would feel if the child wasn't being brought up the way we thought they should, etc

In terms of being pregnant, you also need to think about breastfeeding. My DS was 10 months when they wanted to start testing me for suitability which meant I had to give up. I probably would've liked to have done a year but we had reasons that meant we had to start the treatment when we did.

Obviously it is different for everyone, but this is my experience.
My sister now has a beautiful little girl who looks nothing like me and I don't feel anything other than the usual "auntie" feelings towards her. I am also pregnant and didn't have any difficulty conceiving, so not sure how relevant the whole "complete your own family first" rule is.

Hope this helps anyone considering, and good luck with your search Pocket1

I'm 5ft, white, dark haired, petite build and brown eyes. I had a baby 6 weeks so guess I have to wait a bit to get my cycle back. But I'm seriously considering it. X

Kat how lovely you are considering this.

Good luck with your search op!

Hi pocket I can't seem to pm you, could you send me a message then I will reply to it thanks

I spoke to my dp and he said that he would support me if I want to do this. I'm not having periods ATM as baby is only 6 weeks old and I'm waiting for my cycle to come back. I have thought about doing this for many years now and I can't imagine being without my 5 kids so to donate my eggs which will be wasted otherwise would mean a lot to me.
Can you find out when I would be able to donate after having a baby please?

I would love to be an egg donor but have PCOS and had to have fertility treatment myself.

Wishing you luck.

Having been through the heartache of infertility I would love to have been in a position to donate eggs, but unfortunately I was too old when I started my treatment. I don't think there is anything more precious that you can do for a fellow woman.

I really hope that you get the baby you long for.

(sorry a bit of a useless response but just wanted to offer some support)

Lovely lovely ladies. My assisted conception journey has been a very emotional one. And I have had such huge support from the girls on the relevant threads here on mn. And I have to say you've all done it again - its just staggering and overwhelming how many kind women there are out there.

Thank you for all your posts.

Sparkly I will find out and post an update for you.

I'm still looking for a donor match do please get in touch if you could help.

X

Pocket just to add would offer to help myself but I'm 37 so my eggs probably a bit duff.

How lovely ladies on here are to want to help

Pocket1, would the eggs go directly to you, or would they go to someone else and then you go to the top of the list?

I can't help sadly but am just sneaking in to say good luck to Pocket. So hopeful that the magic of mumsnet will find you the donor you need.

FWIW I didn't find egg collection painful at all for my IVF, you get good drugs beforehand.

Melindaaa me if we are a match

But if we don't match, and you match someone else on my clinics list the I guess you have other options. If that worked out then they would match me with the next suitable donor.

But at the moment I'm hoping to find a donor for myself!

Badger thanks honey. X

Good luck with your search. I am too old at 39. A friend of mine went to Spain for donation recently.

Thansk BulletProofMum i am looking at overseas also but would prefer to stay with my London clinic if i can.... Love your name btw!

I would donate my eggs, but I will be 47 in August so probably too old.

I considered it when I was pregnant with DS2.

But he has ASD, so I am assuming that that makes me a no-no?

I'd truly love to, but DH and I are currently TTC so it's the wrong time (and we are a long way from London). I wish you all the best in your search, OP.

Argh, I hope that didn't sound insensitive. Sorry...

Hiya,

Donoring is something Ive already considered but never got around to. Im in Staffordshire though, so would there be able help with the travel costs down to London. If there was Id definately be in otherwise Im a bit far away.

Thanks

BellaVita thank you - HFEA limit is 35. But thanks anyway.

Vaga i'm afraid i dont know what ASD is - let me know and i'll look in to it...

MakeHay not incensitive at all. And good luck with your own TTC.

Magic i've pmd you back...

Hi pocket did u receive my pm?

Pocket would we be a match? I would want to donate to you if I'm suitable. Btw I do have 2 children with cerebral palsy but this was due to their premature delivery and isn't genetic. But 3 of my children are completely healthy.

I was thinking about this too - but at 39 am too old. Although I have a feeling I still have good eggs (if that makes sense). I presume the age limit is non-negotiable?
In any event - wishing you lots of luck and hope that Kat can help you. How lovely if MN "made" a baby

Mama yes i did and i did reply. But it seems that my mobile is being rubbish - again . i will pm you again now.

Sparkly Bless you, with 5 children already and one only 6 weeks old you are amazing to be considering egg donation. I'll check with my clinic about how soon after having a baby you can donate - i will pm you as soon as i hear back from them.

xx

Turnip thanks so much for responding. HFEA regs are 35.... but i do really appreciate your offer

Pocket, can you PM me, it won't let me pm you

I would consider this, will follow your links and look into it, I have 2 children and 32 I'm similar build to you although I have always liked to say I'm 5'4 - will have a read

D0G trying to message you but i can't. Will keep trying!

Hi I got your pm this time and have replied x

Motherwifeteachee I am def 5'4 ish (in heels )! Have a read and pm me if you have any questions. Or contact clinic directly if you prefer.

Thanks again to all you wonderful kind ladies for responding. My week started very but now it's much more

Anyone who wants to know fully what is involved can read treedelivery's thread from a couple of years ago- she donated eggs to a friend.
Amazing thread, full of detail about the whole journey.

I don't think people should be trawling MN for donors though.

Hi pocket - many uk clinics combine treatment with sister clinics abroad. This means you only travel for fertilisation and transfer. Scans and medication are done in the uk. Clincs abroad tend not to have waiting lists as women are more prepared to donate when anonymity is for life not just until 18.

Apologies for those waiting for info from me - I am waiting for the info myself. I haven't forgotten you and will update/pm ASAP.

I would definitely donate my eggs. I would also love to be a surrogate.

Suckstobeme Thanks for your message - much appreciated. I've sent you a PM. x

pocket I had my appt today,they were all lovely! I go back in two wks for my hormone testing. Thank you for putting me in contact with them!

good luck pocket and any others going through this journey xx

i dontated my eggs a month or so ago, if anyone wants to know about the procedure then please do pm and i am happy to chat about the experience. its def soemthing i would think of doing again, for me the only problesm was that its nto done in norfolk where i live so i had to travel to london for all my apppointments, but they pay my travel so that wasnt a problems, organising it around my dp's shifts and finding suitable childcare arrangements for 5 kids was!

good luck all, its an aamzing thing to do and i feel honoured to have been able to help the person i gave my eggs to and hope it worked for them

btw sparkly with regards to donating after havinga baby, i think once your cycles are back and normal its fine but i dont think you can donate whilst bfeeding, at least that was the criteria at the hospital i donated with.

Thanks 5madthings. Its been a busy couple of weeks since my post and i've been lucky enough to have had a few wonderful ladies come forward to offer their help. And i'm just in the process of being matched with someone - its early days but its looking good so far....

Wow, lucky you having 5 kids

x

I would happily but am over 35 which I believe is the cut off for egg donation. Tis something I would have loved to do but unfortunately my fourth came just as I was classed as too old. Shame as I have four fab kids, regular cycles and I'm in good physical health.

I would love to donate eggs to help some one else have a baby - but my DD as an unknown genetic condition so can't untill they locate exactly what gene it is. I really really hope it all works for you and you find some one x

i am very lucky pocket yes and i wanted to pass some of that luck along iyswim? it really is just down to luck. whoever got my eggs got 11, so hopefully that means they will end up with some frozen embryos etc for another go

glad it looks like you may have found a match, good luck and best wishes for your ttc journey, hope it all works out for you xx

Im in the North East not sure if location is a big factor but I want to donate my eggs to someone in need.

Good luck with your potential matches, PM me if they arent suitable (I am also 5'2, brunette, blue eyes).

Hi Gnocchi thanks so much for responding. I have been matched to one of the amazing ladies who came forward - hoping to cycle next month!!! God willling I'll finally get my BFP. Thank you so much for our really kind offer - egg donation is a truly wonderful thing to do. I know there is a shortage of donors - and would suggest trying to find a clinic nearer home as you'll need to make half a dozen or so trips.... Best of luck if you do go for it. And thank you again for your really kind offer x

Hi,
Hope you don't mind me butting in but I just wanted to reinforce how altruistic egg donation is such an amazing thing to do for someone.
My husband and I have just found out that I am pregnant with the help of an egg donor after many years if trying and 3-4yrs of IVF.
We have no idea who the wonderful woman is who donated her eggs to us and another couple but after many difficult years and countless dashed hopes she has changed our lives immeasurably and we cannot thank her enough.
If anyone is under the age of 35 (the recommended maximum age) and preferably have completed their own family, please consider offering another couple the chance for their dreams to come true. x

I'm too old but just wanted to wish you good luck

Thank you Dotty and YouMay. I found a lovely donor who is a match. And transfer is next month!!!

Good luck pocket hope all goes well and fingers crossed for bfp!

The lady who got my eggs is pregnant with twins! Amazing!!

Keeping everything crossed for you xxx

Aww this is so lovely, I would love to donate my eggs but I have some genetic problems so I was a host surrogate instead. I have everything crossed that you have a full term healthy pregnancy this time.

Thank you OddBoots and 5Madthings I'm still overwhelmed by the kindness of complete strangers. I'll let you know how I get in. Keep everything crossed

5Madthings wonderful news about your recipient. Lucky lucky her!

I've been speaking to Pocket by PM and have been out of the loop for a few months. I'm new to posting too.

Imy hubby and I have had 3 failed ICSI cycles now and have just learnt through surgical sperm recovery that my hubby's sperm is overheating (genetically pre programmed) so not going to ever change. We do however have some hope that the recovered sperm will do the trick and we cycle again at the end of Novermber in the same clinic as pockets. So far we have had great support and expertise through our consultations so so much more personalised than Nottingham Care! We might have to make some brave decisions again if this next round fails and consider a sperm doner.

Therefore my question is, is it just as wash to find some supportive men on here who would consider being a sperm doner - or is it more likely to only find eggs doners because our other halves don't get so involved with the emotional support of such groups?

Can any one tell me more about sperm doner routes and heir experiences? Has anyone found a sperm doner in the way that Pocket has found an egg doner?

Boy this journey dosent get any easier does it!!

Sorry for the typos - that will teach me to use an iPhone - hope you can make sense of my questions!

Bless you pocket, if me old eggs ( nearly 42) weren't past their best I'd be straight onto it! Hope you get the match you need- I'll have a little pray for you xxxxxx

I'm far too old, but I wish you the best of luck!

Just read the later posts- that's great will def be saying some prayers for you now xxxx lots of love and luck to you both xxxxxx

Hello and thank you for your lovely kind wishes.... watch this space.... transfer is next week... my wonderful angel of a donor has done an amazing job (i do actually think she is an angel!). I will post and let you all know how i get on when i test at the end of this month.

Hey Luckystar I'm so glad you like Dr V and are having treatment soon with her. You just know you're in safe hands and she will do whatever she can. I really hope that your next round is successful - we are almost cycle buddies! I dont know much about sperm donation i'm afraid... although lots of wonderful ladies came forward on MN in response to my egg donor plea, my match was with someone through ff so have a look over there too. Be warned, there is a guy who's a regular poster as a sperm donor, but will only do it by natural insemination....

In the meantime, pop in to the AC thread to let me know how you're getting on (and if you want company of other ladies in the same boat - i've found it completely and utterly invaluable).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1494353-Assisted-Conception-and-the-bits-in-between-Volume-10

Dont stop believing

xxx

Hello, I said I'd pop back and let you know how we were getting on. Well we got a BFP today - amazing and brilliant. And all thanks to my angel of a donor.

Thank you for all your kind wishes, prayers and positive vibes.

xxx

Fantastic news pocket, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

I wish I could sweetheart but I'm too old- mid forties although everything is very healthy.
I wish you all the luck in the World with your search

XXxxXX

Congratulations Pocket!
I'm currently 36 weeks pregnant after ICSI with egg share (I donated half my eggs). I wanted to give something back as well as receive treatment for my husband and I. I'm waiting until I have my baby and then pin to contact the clinic to see if my recipient was successful.

It's nice to see a successful story from a recipient

OOps! I didn't get take[n to the last page of the thread .

So happy for you. Good news always needed.....

Wow, congratulations!

That's brilliant news I have just read your thread and am so pleased to see a happy ending.
Hope you enjoy your pregnancy and meeting your lo at last!
Well done

Just read your thread! What great news!
I'd love to donate but DH isn't keen
Good luck with your pregnancy

Yay pocket so pleased to hear your news

Oh congratulations! I am so chuffed for you!

Congratulations Pocket, I am so pleased for you. I hope your angel gets the news too.

This thread gives me hope as I am about to start on the egg donor journey myself.

Thank you for all your lovely messages. Yes my angel of a donor knows and she is over the moon.

Trick very best of luck to you with your donor cycle - I hope you get your BFP very soon. If ever you have any questions, just pm me and do what I can to help.

xxx

Saw your thread in July but have only lurked until now. . .

Congratulations on your BFP. Your donor is indeed an angel. If it wasn't for my angel (my sister) then my beautiful 16 month old DD wouldn't be snurkling away in her cot right now.

Wishing you well for your pregnancy!

Ah, this is lovely! Many congratulations.

Pocket1 - what brill news and what a lovely thread, it makes you realise how many wonderful people there are. I have PCOS and hormonal issues and I had problems having my own DCs, but I would offer to help anyone if I didn't. I really hope all goes well for you. x

Don't know how I missed this post pocket!! Been spending too much time on PM!! See you tomorrow - with you tiny tiny bump :-) how exciting xxx

Luckystarfour I used donor sperm, don't know if you still want information on this? I had no problem getting a donor thought my clinic, was actually given a choice of 2. Let me know if you want to know anything else, I realise you posted your questions a while back :-)

Hi beginningofthejourney
Sorry I've only just seen your post. I would love to hear more about your experience - yes please.
As we speak we have two embryos on board - following a sequential transfer on day 3 and day 5 using my dhs sperm, so we are really hoping for that Christmas miracle because after this I think the only option would be a sperm donor, as we have ticked all the boxes on this round. Please do share - either on here or PM if preferred - thank you - really appreciate you finding my question from some time back xxx

I think I mean dp ( I never get these abbreviations!! Haha) but anyway by hubby's sperm :-)

Congratulations pocket! I went through a huge journey to get my little boy so I know how incredible you must feel right now - your egg donor is a wonderful person xx I haven't really considered egg donation before, but I am now looking into doing it myself.

beginning did you find out how sperm donations occur or have you had some wonderful news too?

Thank you! Im 16 weeks today

congratulations! What a lovely thread, and how wonderful to see that there are so many generous women out there.

Hi, I'm looking at taking part in the egg sharing scheme, where I could freeze half my eggs for myself, and donate half. It's reassuring that you have a good clinic, but the link you gave was for the general HFEA website. I'm not so keen on anonymously donating. While I don't want anything to do with the child, I want to know it's going to a good family, and would like to know more about the family involved etc.

If you're still looking for someone, do get in touch,

Danielle

Ooops I didn't see the last page of the thread, looks like you found your happy ending! So please for you! Congratulations!

What a wonderful thread, congratulations pocket.

Beginningofthejourney - if you're still around on this thread, I would love to hear more about your speed donor journey :-)

that is frickin amazin from no donor to pregnancy, been reading all these msgs, and am so moved by it... congratulations pocket x

Thanks Honey. It is amazing and I am just so thankful to all the kind and generous ladies out there and especially to my lovely donor (who I'm able to keep in touch with albeit anonymously) - she is so happy.

I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and I definitely have a bump. Roll on July when I get to meet my very own little one

Aww congratulations

I've thought about this in the past, I don't want any more children, and I'd like to help someone. Can't though as there is a genetic disease in the family and I'm a carrier. Good luck to all those trying

I have just found this thread! WOW congratulations to you!

Was your donor from mumsnet? - obviously if you would prefer not to say that is fine!

Thank you for all the lovely wishes and messages. Although lots of lovely ladies came forward on mn, i found my angel donor through fertility friends...we were the best match from all the potential ladies who offered their help

Good luck to anyone out there considering using donor eggs. Magic things really can happen

I was interested but found out I was considered too old at 35. I think a problem is that many women have not finished (or even started) their families until their mid-thirties and you don't really think about donating before you have kids.

Just a little update from me. I am now 24 weeks pregnant. Miracles really can happen - thanks to the kindness of my lovely donor

Hi Pocket.... PM'ed you but just read the end of your post!

Congratulations!

Thank you birdandbee.

Just read your whole thread, such a lovely story!
We're starting out on surrogacy thinking about either egg donor with host or traditional, and it is so lovely to hear of everyone out there who is thinking of donating. Gives others light at the end of the tunnel, and is really nice to hear why people do it, rather than just in 3 years time having an anonymous egg donation at a clinic

What an amazing thread! Pocket, I wish you all the love and luck in the World. Good luck with the rest of your PG and the birth. Please do keep us updated

With all the negative press surrounding MN this week, there are some pretty amazing people on here willing to do a pretty amazing thing.

Amazing stuff. Congratulations pocket!

Does anyone know if the under 35 rule would apply to family? My sister is 35 in August and has offered her eggs if I were to need them. She's currently pregnant until June though (is there an infertile woman in the world whose sister DOESN'T get pregnant at the drop of a hat?) and to add to the complication, lives 300 miles away. If it was anyone, I would like it to be her.

Hester that's lovely about your sister.
www.hfea.gov.uk/egg-donation-and-egg-sharing.html says egg donor can't be 36 or over, and they can't do it if they are breast feeding. Think read somewhere that they are more flexible with known donors, although maybe contact some clinics?

Hi Hester, I've just started the process to be my bf's egg donor (take my first injection on Friday) I'm 35... I think with known donors it's at the doctor's discretion... I can't see it being a problem with your sis. I also live 300 miles away from my bf, we're going down the private route which gives us a lot more flexibility with appointments... Good luck!

Thanks ladies. It's all theoretical at the moment as I'm having a go first with my own ancient wizened powdered dried up eggs. A couple of bouts of IUI followed by IVF and then we'll start thinking about sister's eggs if unsuccessful.

Best of luck Hester!

I just messaged you Pocket offering my services - good to see its no longer needed! So happy for you and little bump, good luck! Xx

Thank you for all your lovely messages, kind wishes and more offers to donate - your kindness is overwhelming. I'm now 28+3. Looking forward to the arrival of my little one in July.

Hester stay positive and allow yourself to believe that this will happen for you. Check out the assisted conception thread - it was a lifeline for me and you'll be amongst women in a similar boat where there's so much help and support. Good luck and I pray you get your longed for bfp soon.

And thanks to everyone for reading my thread. It's nice to see it pop up now and again - a reminder that dreams can come true and of the real kindness in people.

x

I´m posting quite late to this post. I´m currently in Spain and egg donation in Spain is anonymous, so this means the child will never know who is the donor. There is law proetction against this. The baby grows up to be your child completely. THERE IS ALSO LESS WAITING TIME IN SPAIN, i have not undergone the process my self, but i work with the process out here. If you want anymore information, maybe I can help. I´ve come to know lot of people undergoing the process out here and also, in Seville, where i´m re based, we work with a special pregnancy guarantee programme involving egg donation.

Maybe I can help.

congratualations, i´ve actually just seen the end of this post. best of luck.

Congratulations Pocket... x

Thanks MissLurkalot. I'm 32 weeks today

Congratulations Pocket - I've donated eggs in the past and will be again once I've finished breast feeding. Enjoy your lovely new baby :-) x