Donor egg or embryo IVF abroad?

[Snowdog37]

It's looking likely these are my options, and I'd love to hear from anyone who has been through either of these and can recommend a clinic in Europe? Thanks! 💐

[Snowdog37]

Anyone? It's pretty isolating getting this news.

[cingolimama]

I did it in the U.S., not Europe, so unless you might consider America, then I can't help with specific clinics. But are there any other issues you need help/support with?

[Snowdog37]

Thanks for replying 😊 That's funny, I'm actually in the States and looking to come back to Europe as treatment here is so expensive!
I'm pretty much ok with the concept of donor eggs, as I know realistically I've got no chance with my own scant and decrepit eggs. How did you find the emotional side of things once you were pregnant? I'm worried that I'll feel detached from the baby in some way? And how did you deal with questions from family about why you chose this path? I've already got the whole "it's not really going to be your child" spiel and it's upsetting as I don't agree but I don't want to fall out with close family.

[cingolimama]

Well, the emotional stuff was a bit of a rollercoaster, tbh. Like you, I worried that I'd feel detached from the baby, that I wouldn't love it like my own. The minute I found out I was pregnant, though, all that went out the window. I felt a sense of real connection and love. The day I had my first scan and could her DD's heartbeat - I wept with joy (and am in fact tearing up right now!). So I can reassure you on that front.

My husband's family was fortunately very supportive, in fact my SIL had gone down the same path years earlier, so was a real cheerleader and a rock through it all. They never, for one second, ever made me feel the baby wasn't mine. My own family had a sense of shame about it all, though it was never said outright, iykwim.

This idea that "it's never going to be your child" is just rubbish. And cruel. Would they say that if you were adopting? Whose child would it be? YOU are going to carry the pregnancy. YOU are going to be giving birth to the baby. And YOU will be raising the child.

[cingolimama]

I don't suppose you're in one of the states with "mandated coverage"?

[Snowdog37]

I am. But even with the potential of up to $8-10k of coverage for the actual IVF, I'd still need to pay almost $15k for donor egg fees, agency fees, lawyers fees etc. it's crazy. If I had a known donor it'd be $6-7k but I'm pretty new here, and don't know anyone who I could ask.

[HopperBusTicket]

Hello. We have a child conceived using donor eggs and an older child conceived naturally. We had treatment in the UK - I wanted the child to have the option of tracing the donor if they want to later.

I am lucky that our families have been very supportive. He is absolutely 'my child'. My mum sometimes makes the odd insensitive comment but I think it's just not knowing the correct language to use sometimes. I know she loves him.

Good luck to you. You might find the Fertility Friends forum useful as there are lots of people there going through donor fertility treatment.

[WootyWoo]

Hi, I have done oe IVF at both Serum in Greece and Gennet in Prague. I've also looked into de at both too and am currently in the middle of my first de cycle.

I didn't have a great experience at Gennet at all. I felt like I was on a factory conveyer belt, there was very little compassion shown which made us both feel very awkward at points and also replies to emails were a little slow which was frustrating.

I chose to do my de cycle at Serum because despite them being more expensive they're a good fit for me. They're really quick to reply to emails so you're never left hanging. All the staff are really lovely, from reception staff to the doctors to the embryologists. They are kind and considerate and welcoming and that means a great deal when you have travelled a long way and invested so much.
The clinic has a nice homely feel to it.

In reference to working through the emotional side I recently came across this blog which I love and therefore must share :-)

chickandeggs.com/

Must dash but best of luck with your next steps x

[2014newme]

Waiting lists can be long in the UK so check out that aspect. Some clinics have shorter wait lists. Ours was two years but I had success with icsi with own eggs by then.

[cingolimama]

When I did it through an agency it was $5000. Look, maybe prices have really climbed and I'm sure that you've done your research, but could I gently suggest that you absolutely confirm those figures? They seem high.

Would a European clinic/agency be, in the long run, that much cheaper?

[HopperBusTicket]

Ref waiting lists in the UK - that's not always the case. We used an egg donor agency and didn't wait at all. I think waiting lists can be long for clinics that do egg sharing but I didn't like that idea anyway.

[justpeachy74]

Hi,

I'm interested in reading your thread but have to write a little bit and run right now.

We used Instituto Marques in Barcelona and they were great generally. We decided to give it one chance as it was our only hope for a second child (our first was completely natural). We had one viable donor egg in the end so literally once chance and it worked! DD2 is now 2 and feels very much like our own.

[Snowdog37]

I'd love to know your agency info! my clinic uses MyEggBank and the costs are astronomical at over $10k just for the eggs. Add to this the $12k cycle cost, of which my insurance might cover up to 75%, and it's easily $15-20k out of pocket. I cannot find any cheaper egg banks. Some are even more expensive. It's very disheartening. So a cycle in Prague at Reprofit looks to be around $5-6k plus $2-3k flight and accommodation. That's half the cost of a cycle here! I'd love to not have to travel halfway around the world to do this, but here there's no guarantee one cycle would work, and they only guarantee two embryos out of 6 eggs, so we would be spending literally all our savings in one go, whereas traveling would mean we hopefully have the finances and option to use frozen embryos to use as you get all the eggs the donor produces.

[TwoWeeksInCyprus]

Hi SnowDog,
We went to Reprofit in Brno, and would definitely recommend it. Once we'd accepted we needed donor eggs (due to my age - mid 40s), we didn't really look back. We were very lucky, and DS was conceived on our first attempt. We told some people, but not our families until 12 weeks, so never really got much in the way of 'opinion' from them, as by then it was too late for them to say anything.
We met one lady from the US there. I think she had used an agency called My IVF Alternative which can arrange travel, accommodation etc, and also earlier appointments than you might get with Reprofit directly.
Someone up thread mentioned the fertility friends board - here's a link to the Czech Republic section in case you haven't come across it.

www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=347.0

[cingolimama]

Dream Donations.

[Snowdog37]

Thanks cingo I have registered and am taking a look. The fees for each donor seem to start at $8000 and it doesn't state what other fees the agency charges.

[Kannet]

Highly recommend instituto marquees in Barcelona. We had all but given up, having tried several treatments. I now have a 14 month old.

[DEMum101]

Another thumbs up for Institut Marques in Barcelona. I have a child already from a DE cycle there and am currently pregnant again, also with IM.

[MrsScrubbingbrush]

Another vote for Insitute Marques in Barcelona. Now proud mum to 10 year old twins.

[HopperBusTicket]

If you are interested in donor embryos as an alternative to donor eggs then you might find couples who donate embryos they don't need if that's something you'd consider?

[Snowdog37]

I've seen a lot of clinics offer that and it's an option for sure. Dh has very poor morphology and although in an ideal world we both want to be genetic parents, if it came down to it we would consider embryos as we know they'll be healthy and viable and less of a crapshoot. The only thing I want to absolutely do is be pregnant and give birth to our child or children. If donor embryos or eggs are what makes this possible, we are at peace with that.

[Kannet]

We used donated embryos. It was super easy treatment with amazing results

[Snowdog37]

What is the cost? The same as donated eggs?

[Blondeshavemorefun]

'Waves' seems Barcelona gets good results and as I said to you the other day serum

If you are worried about what friends or family say then don't tell them it's donor. None of their business

Abroad is annoymous - uk the child has the right to search for donor

The ladies I told you about have never felt detached as wasn't bio theirs - she grew loved and nourished her baby

Agree it's no diff to adoption. Nurture v nature

So glad you are going this route xx

[Snowdog37]

Waves back thanks for all your advice too, I've got lots to think about and figure out. Dh says at the end of the day, it's my choice the route we take, he will love any child we make no matter how it was created.