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Infertility

OH and alcohol

30 replies

Bibs2014 · 17/08/2016 20:56

Has anyone else's OH been told to cut out / cut back on alcohol before IVF?

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spinduffy · 17/08/2016 21:25

My clinic told us both to basically cut out alcohol whilst going through IVF. Looking at the research, it probably is even more important for the male than female.

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RunRabbitRunRabbit · 17/08/2016 21:28

Don't most people cut down when ttc anyway? Is it a problem for him?

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LHReturns · 17/08/2016 21:31

I was wondering about this too.

How far ahead of a cycle should the male cut out / cut down on booze? I need to be a little realistic with what I ask him to do - if I say no booze for a month before likely EC he would snigger. But two weeks is a possibility.

May I also ask what set of supplements or other 'rules' your DHs are signed up for? Limiting caffeine? Lots of protein? Lots of zinc?

If you were going to ask your DH to do just 5 things, what would they be?

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Bibs2014 · 17/08/2016 22:27

Runrabbit - no, not a major problem. I ask because we are going to go for IVF again. Last time we did it was 3 years ago and now have my DS. I've forgotten everything everything we did back then Blush. It was such a stressful time, I think my mind has just blocked it all out! So I need 'refreshing' of the rules.

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Bibs2014 · 17/08/2016 22:29

Lhreturns - last time my DH was advised to stop drinking 3 months beforehand.

I think we took the Pregnacare / Wellman supplements.

Hoping others will be along soon to add more as I even threw away my Zita West book Blush.

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LHReturns · 17/08/2016 22:47

Thanks Bibs, I rather thought that would be the case. 3 months seems to be the magic lead time for all IVF prep!

My husband has had three children (one with me), so he just isn't going to go alcohol free for three months because I asked him to. He doesn't drink a lot but he does drink (probably 14 units a week currently). If there is any sperm quality issues with our first fresh round then I will get our consultant to encourage him along.

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Kr1stina · 17/08/2016 22:54

He won't stop drinking for 3 months to help you conceive his baby ? What a selfish arse

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Bibs2014 · 17/08/2016 22:54

It takes 3 months for new sperm to be produced from what I remember...

Have our first appt with consultant in 6 weeks so trying to get healthy from now, although OH has had a really stressful day at work so is having some beer which is what made me ask the question initially.

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LHReturns · 18/08/2016 02:11

Kr1stina he isn't a selfish arse in any way at all. He is the most giving and generous man in the world who would do anything for me. He would give up drinking for three months if he knew I was truly convinced that it would make the difference in our particular, well tested case. So far I am not convinced it would make the blindest bit of difference (in our particular case). If that position were to change, and he knew this, then he would do anything to help me have my second child.

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spinduffy · 18/08/2016 07:44

I think 3 months is unnecessary, as long as he does not over do it and sticks with recommended national guidelines. I think alcohol free for stimms is more than enough and Alcohol limited before that! I hope he enjoyed his beer and he doesn't sound selfish at all.

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 08:36

LH - I did a bit of reading up last night and it seems that even 4 drinks a week can have a detrimental effect.

It's not just about falling pregnant it relates to health of sperm and likelihood of miscarriage .

I def need to do more research so don't just take my word for it Smile.

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LHReturns · 18/08/2016 08:56

Hi Bibs, there is no debate about it - what you have read is true. I'm not challenging the science at all.

I'm questioning whether at this stage (our first real try) keeping DH under 14 units a week is one of the most beneficial changes we can make. Every couple faces the challenge of IVF a little differently and I believe we all make our own unique decisions around what changes to make to maximise our own unique chance. And at the same time I want to keep a happy healthy marriage.

My DH and I are making lots of changes based in advice from our Lister consultant and our own research, and cutting his already moderate drinking down further isn't a change I feel is necessary at this particular moment. He knows this, and I resent people deciding my DH is a 'selfish arse' based on one sentence on a forum like Infertility where we all meant to be mutually supportive and kind to each other.

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Kr1stina · 18/08/2016 10:11

My husband has had three children (one with me), so he just isn't going to go alcohol free for three months because I asked him to

I expect that you will be going alcohol free for more that 3 months , while TTC and while pregnant ? But he won't. Even though it will cost him nothing, may improve his health and your chances of TTC.

And of course it woudl be supportive of you . So he's going to sit with his drink while you have a cup of tea ? Lovely .

I hope it works out for you.

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 10:21

Hi LH - no judgement here, only support Smile

Could you share the changes your consultant has advised, could help me Grin

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LHReturns · 18/08/2016 10:43

I have not gone alcohol free for 3 months before starting IVF.

Absolutely Bibs - will share a separate list of changes we have made - but expect there won't be anything there you haven't seen before!

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 11:02

I was more dedicated last time as I didn't have my son. Now we are going in with the attitude that of it works, it works; if it doesn't then we will focus on life with what we have already.

Please share your list! Smile

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 11:03

Also I don't think I went alcohol free last time. Smile

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sparechange · 18/08/2016 11:04

We saw Dr Jonathan Ramsay, widely regarded as the leading urologist and sperm expert in Europe if not the world, and his opinion was that as long as you are staying within the recommended drinking guidance, it won't be having a detrimental effect on sperm.

When we mentioned this to our fertility clinic, they said something vague about 'eating, drinking and thinking like you are pregnant in the lead up to treatment', but didn't offer any evidence base for it.

Obviously it is great for you both to get as healthy as possible, but I wouldn't let a few drinks a week become a flashpoint for arguments in what is an already fraught time

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BabooshkaKate · 18/08/2016 11:06

Sperm takes 70 days to produce so that's why they say 3 months - so that he has had time to produce good quality sperm.

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 12:20

Thanks Kate and Spare for the info.

You are right, it's such a fraught time and no guarantees it will work. The stress is unbelievable. Not being able to drink - or eat what you want, if that's the case - just feels like another thing this journey can take from you. Really hard!

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LHReturns · 18/08/2016 13:23

Bibs, when are you hoping to start? If all goes as planned I would be starting stims soon after the Bank Holiday weekend...

I need some buddies!

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Bibs2014 · 18/08/2016 22:19

First appt is 6 October. How about you, what stage are you at?

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LHReturns · 18/08/2016 22:35

Ok I should be starting a little bit sooner. As I am 40 and low AMH I will be on a short antagonist protocol. Meaning I do no down-regging, and just start on Day 2 of my period with a VERY high dose (450iu) of Gonal F. This probably doesn't produce as many eggs as a long protocol, but at least it is faster.

My next period is due over Bank Holiday weekend. So hope things happening soon.

So all fingers crossed if I am lucky enough to have any nice embryos we should be transferring by mid- September.

If no success then we hope to try again before Christmas....

I am excited and very nervous.

Do you hope to start ASAP after your first appointment?

Let's stay in contact!

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Bibs2014 · 20/08/2016 13:43

Good luck!

We are going to see what the consultant says when we go and see him. Hoping to get 6 healthy weeks in before we go and see what he says. Excited but nervous!

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Redjeans32 · 25/08/2016 23:42

Hi All,

We've been on the waiting list since Feb for ICSI and found out last week that we're at the top of the list now and our appointment is 5 weeks away on the 27th September.

It's like pulling teeth trying to convince my husband to not drink, he's done 3 weeks now off the booze and he is like a bear with a sore arse.

At times he's been an extremely heavy drinker (like father like son) he works very hard in his job and sees it as a release and wind down. He's also a bit down at the moment and has turned to drinking as a depressive. He's down on his appearance (he's very insecure about his thinning hair) he's paranoid about going to the gym incase he sees anyone and they pass comment about it, so with the drinking and over eating he's put on a lot of weight. I thought the ICSI coming close would be a big enough kick up the Arse for him to get out of this depressive lull, he's improved a bit but still won't go back to the gym . For his thirtieth he lost 3 stone but that was almost 3 years ago. He's also had 2 hair transplants and is now thinking about a third, I want him just to realise when he's in shape and feeling physically good he cares less about his hair, it happened before but he's completely out of that mindset now and is just being obtuse about it. I want him to be in a much healthier shape for himself and and our future but unfortunately I just see him going like his Dad whose on every tablet known to man for all his ailments.

Sorry for the long rant and moan guys, I just don't know where to turn to anymore and won't get help or listen to me. I'm trying my best to get healthy and I've got an injured hip and can't exercise as well anymore but apparently according to him "I'm lucky because I'm naturally slim."

Thanks for listening

Xxxx

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