Husband's unfaithfulness and infertility

(9 Posts)
zena300 Wed 27-Jul-16 10:09:44

I was TTC for 4 years. And absolutely nothing has changed. After medical examination doctors said that my analyses were fine and the problem lay in my partner. Together with my husband we have tried almost everything… from herbal treatment, different pills and vitamins to yoga. We were told that smth had to help us and we just had to do it regularly and believe in it. You see, when you can’t get pregnant for 4 years putting a lot of efforts into this, devoting the whole life to it, you’re ready to believe in everything what can hypothetically help. Our couple wasn’t an exception. At the same time a lot of my friends and colleagues became parents. Indeed I was emotionally over because of my feelings then. I was so jealous of my friends’ happiness. Every time I realized that it was like “What’re you doing right now? They’re your best friends, everyone of them is ready to lend a helping hand while you think that deserve a baby more than any of them.” And now I’m not even sure what exactly person I am. When you try so hard and don’t succeed, it is very complicated. You start looking for some hidden problems inside you. After some time my husband came home and said that he was going to leave me because he met other woman which got pregnant… A blow under the belt… My life was ruined. Of course we got divorced. I know women that forgave the unfaithfulness of their husbands but for me personally it is impossible. So, now I’m single and appealingly infertile. Nobody knows why. But I want a baby sooooooooo much. Since childhood I loved children like nobody else. My doctor advised me to use modern reproductive methods like ICSI/IVF. But I don’t even know whether it is possible for single women… I don’t know for sure what to do.

menchos Fri 29-Jul-16 09:28:01

Oh, that's so terrible. I'm so sorry that you had to live through such a situation. I'm also seeking information and help concerning ICSI and IVF. So, it's unlikely that I help you in this issue. But I want to express condolences to you. Try to forget your ex. He isn't worth worrying about. That wasn't your soulmate, for sure. But we are so similar. Your story is almost like mine. My ex left me. I'm single and 41 yo. It's quite frightening if to be honest. I mean my age. Maybe I'm already late?

TerribleTwentyTwos Fri 29-Jul-16 09:40:00

I can't offer any advice but I couldn't read and run. I am so sorry that your ex was an arse! You are better off without and I hope you meet the right guy for you soon. Maybe having no baby in that time was a sign that you two weren't meant to be. Some people just aren't as compatible. flowers for you.

TerribleTwentyTwos Fri 29-Jul-16 09:40:35

I can't offer any advice but I couldn't read and run. I am so sorry that your ex was an arse! You are better off without and I hope you meet the right guy for you soon. Maybe having no baby in that time was a sign that you two weren't meant to be. Some people just aren't as compatible. flowers for you.

closeyoureyes23 Mon 01-Aug-16 14:20:13

Hello, my hubby and I were also trying to conceive for 3 years. Then we were diagnosed with immune infertility. Every time my periods occurred the atmosphere at home was dark and depressive. And we were full of tears. Every time we went out and met kids outside I was ready to take one of them home. Frankly speaking, I started to worry about my mental condition. Doctors assured us that the only possible way out for us is icsi or ivf too. All in all I had 3 unsuccessful icsi and 1failed ivf. After this it was difficult to find efforts to continue and keep hope, but we succeeded. Already the next ivf attempt was successful. That was a miracle. We were in seventh heaven. Believe in your success and fight till the end, miracles happen and my baby is proof of that. Good luck to you and remember that infertility is not a verdict, but just another obstacle on the way towards unlimited happiness.

zena300 Tue 02-Aug-16 14:21:33

5 attempts? that's a lot. I'm happy that you managed to bridge over these difficulties. Have you already delivered?
My doctor recommended me ivf. And as far as I know clinics do provide such services for single. Am i right? One more thing... Where did you do your icsi and ivf? Were all the procedures carried out within one and the same clinic? If it's not a big deal for you please consult me a bit. Thanks a lot

closeyoureyes23 Wed 03-Aug-16 09:22:24

5 attempts are not really so many. I know women whom it took near 10 to get pregnant. I'm from Finland and firstly I was trying to conceive in there at home. 3 failed shots happened there and after this we were full of disappointment and decided to change the clinic and country.
Yes, as far as I know they do not refuse to provide ivf for single. As for me I haven't delivered yet (30 w now). The big day is almost in a moment. I'm fully absorbed in anticipation.

zena300 Thu 04-Aug-16 13:43:49

Yes i heard something about 10+ shots too. It sounds horrifying. I was always amazed by courage and determination of these women.
My congrats. You are to be the best mother for your child. Are you already aware of whom to expect? When I get pregnant, I would prefer to stay unaware as far as lying-in time f.e. My husband hasn't heard about that yet, however. It would be a bit surprising for him.
If it's ok to ask, where was the second journey? Also in Europe?

closeyoureyes23 Tue 09-Aug-16 14:44:47

Yes, it's a boy. After all these challenging moments in my life I'm going to give birth to my little son. You ought to see my hubby's face when he discovered that. We were discussing the issue seriously and quite a long time but agreed on the fact that we couldn't wait anymore. It may still happen that you'll change your mind. Don't cross the bridge till you come to it wink.

The second yourney was also in Europe so we didn't have a lot of problems with visas and so on. The only thing we felt sorry for was that we hadn't arrived there at first. We could save a lot of money as well as time by doing so.

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