losing hope already.....

(6 Posts)
enocar Mon 10-Aug-15 17:36:38

I haven't even started IVF and I already feel like it's going to be a complete failure sad I got my hopes up with the clomid, that it was all I needed to get the bfp I so want, but even that failed me. Hubby is still smoking, not as much as he used too but has a smoke with his mates, drinks most nights, feels like I might as well give up because he's already letting me down sad He doesn't care if we have kids or not, I feel like I'm going through this on my own sad Friends of his are going for IVF too, private where we are nhs and they are already starting, so no doubt I'm to brace myself for another pregnancy announcement sad Obviously I don't wish them a negative but I'm not sure how much more faking happiness I can do sad I asked him if he would help me with the injections, and his reply was well it will have to be done either 7am or 10pm, now I know he leaves for work 7.30 but finishes by 5am and so basically saying he's not going to be around to help sad I can just imagine getting the bfn and him saying oh well that's life or something unsympathetic sad Sigh! Wish I could feel more positive, just not right now......

PerspicaciaTick Mon 10-Aug-15 17:48:08

Your DH sounds like he is being rather arse-like, I hope he pulls his socks up for you.

Has his fertility been tested yet? I think most men get a bit competitive when the doctor does builders-teeth-sucking and tells them the quality of their swimmers could be better.

As for injections, I always did my own as it was very easy. I much prefer being in control when it comes to stuff like this and DH isn't great with needles and blood and stuff.

However, I would think twice about embarking on IVF with someone who really isn't interested - so maybe it is time to sit down for a proper chat now, before you embark on the hormone/stress roller coaster of IVF.

I do wish you every luck as you work through all this flowers.

enocar Mon 10-Aug-15 18:07:47

Yhea he's fine (according to the last lot of tests) had new ones done today as his were 3 years old! All the issues are with me. I just wish I felt like I could rely on him being here for me, I just don't see it happening at the moment sad I'm 35 this is my last chance at being a mum, I've been trying for more years than I want to think about naturally so the chances of it happening without ivf are slim! sad I'm so worried that I won't have any eggs or they won't fertilize and both my ivf chances will be wasted sad Got my hopes up again when the nurse said about freezing some fertilized eggs (if I was lucky enough to get that far) and so they wouldn't count towards the 2nd chance, but no way is that going to happen because I can't afford it on my own sad Just sometimes wish i didn't want kids then I wouldn't have all this sorrow inside me sad

didwedotherightthing Tue 11-Aug-15 17:53:15

Are you sure you want children with him? From what you're describing, he's not interested and that may not change if you have a baby. IVF is a tough process - I've done it. Doing it with a disinterested partner isn't ideal. What's the reason for your infertility? Your partner doesn't seem to be doing much to improve his fertility with all the drinking etc.

enocar Wed 19-Aug-15 11:40:25

We are unexplained, I had thought I had PCOS but I asked yesterday when the nurse was explaining the ivf drugs, and she looked at my ultrasound scans and said they were fine. I know it's going to be hard, he's willing to take me to the hospital for my scans and tests but just not so good at the support part, but then perhaps that's a good thing, as he does tend to make everything about himself, so I don't know if he would be any good at it lol.

allchatnicknamesgone Tue 25-Aug-15 16:04:22

Hi.
I sort of echo the other poster about is he the right life partner to have kids with? I know right now, you have a one track mind and all you desperately want is a baby in your arms, but do you want to do that alone also?

You talk about your husband in a pretty negative way and this whole process can be very stressful. I think it's a big sit down time for you both? I know counselling is free when you start the ivf cycle, so maybe you could take advantage of that now? You know your husband best and maybe he's just panicked about the whole thing. Support means different things to different people, so hopefully a good chat through it all will make him pull his socks up. You shouldn't be this anxious and negative starting ivf, it's a positive step.
Good luck x

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