Bracing myself for pregnancy announcements...

(11 Posts)
Chattycat78 Mon 10-Aug-15 14:26:39

Hi all,

We have a ds which I'm very very grateful for. However it was a tough journey involving ivf and a mc along the way too so I have no idea whether he will be an only one but im guessing attempting another is not going to be a walk in the park(if it is even possible...).

In the meantime, I know of other couples who are trying for thier second, and some friends of ours are hosting an out of the blue party in a few weeks time. I've now decided that they must be going to announce that they are expecting again, and I'm dreading it! To be honest, every time something like this happens I'm convinced theres going to be an announcement and brace myself. I suspect this is partly because I'm thinking about this so much, but I hate how I feel. It doesn't seem right to be dreading other people's happy news. I'm also worried that there will be a lot more of this to come as other friends have their second, so I had better get used to it!
Anyone else feel like this way? And anyone got tips on coping/not being such an awful person?��

Chattycat78 Mon 10-Aug-15 14:27:38

I should also add that I felt like this before my ds was born - I was hoping I wouldn't feel the same afterwards, but unfortunately those feelings are coming back.

Highlove Mon 10-Aug-15 15:50:57

I understand exactly. My ivf DD is almost 18 months and in a month or two we're going to start ivf again - we've not bothered with any contraception since she was born but needless to say, not a whiff of a pregnancy.

Like you, I didn't think I'd feel the same way after I had but over the 6 months or so it's got increasingly worse and in right back there. I posted on a thread here about this only yesterday. One if my closest friends is currently very pg and although I'm pleased for her, she got up the duff straight away and can't talk about anything but pregnancy/baby. I want to support her and get excited for her but I'm just struggling. I look everywhere but at her bump. And if she asks me one more time about the perfect age gap I might throttle her.

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this - it's shit. I feel guilty too as I know we're already lucky to have DD after years and many failed treatments.

Sorry I do t have any advice. I'm trying to get back to exercise which at least helps me feel generally more upbeat.

Chattycat78 Mon 10-Aug-15 16:05:13

Thanks for replying- it's awful isn't it? What was the reason for doing ivf if u don't mind me asking? We're not bothering with contraception either (although I've been b feeding and no sign of periods yet anyway- my ds is 6 months old) and I keep hoping that maybe a miracle will occur but I'm not hopeful. I have low ovarian reserve and of course I feel really lucky to have got my son, it still really stings every time I hear how Easy it was for someone else or when I hear pg announcements. I'm dreading when all of my Nct friends start making announcements again- they are all planning the perfect age gap too and even going back to work full time so they can then go part time after their second. I really wish I was that clueless and lucky! .

mrsmugoo Wed 12-Aug-15 13:21:49

Sympathy here! Been trying for #2 for a few months with no luck - been to the doctors as I have a very short luteal phase and day 21 progesterone is vv low so am now progressing to a private fertility clinic to get treatment (the NHS don't want to know!)
My DS was a happy accident so I never had to go through any of these emotions first time around (yes, I know how blessed I am!!) but the 2nd pregnancy announcements are rolling in and each one is like a kick in the ribs.

You truly have my sympathy and I hope everyone who's posted in this thread gets their longed for 2nd child thanksenvy

MrsHenryCrawford Wed 12-Aug-15 13:36:30

Chattycat-i have a low ovarian reserve and I got pregnant naturally with dc2 when dc1 was 13 months old. Dc1 was the result of fertility treatment, so it was a big surprise. Haven't used contraception for six years. Prior to conceiving dc2 I found the pregnancy announcements really hard. I would have gotten a few comments on 'giving' dc1 a brother or sister which was upsetting as I really thought I wouldn't conceive again.

Chattycat78 Wed 12-Aug-15 15:46:25

Thanks guys! Mrs Henry- you've given me hope! I really hope that happens to me too! Brilliant that it happened to you! I wonder if your story is unusual though�� I hope not....

Chattycat78 Wed 12-Aug-15 15:47:49

And yeah its amazing how people think you can wave your magic wand and "give" your child a sibling - just like that! If only!

BeautifulBatman Wed 12-Aug-15 15:49:45

A party? To announce a pregnancy? confused

Chattycat78 Wed 12-Aug-15 18:26:21

Don't u reckon people do stuff like that? I know several people who do.....

Amummyatlast Wed 12-Aug-15 19:17:48

I'm having the same, as a couple of my NCT friends have announced second pregnancies, when I've been trying since DD was 3 months old (hoping that pregnancy might have fixed whatever is wrong). Actually, though, it's not been too bad and I'm managing ok talking to the most recent friend whose pregnant. A cousin of DH's is due soon with her second though, and that upsets me more than my friends being pregnant. Family seems more personal.

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