Anyone else in the same situation as us

[myusernameisusername]

Been TTC for 1 year 6 months we were referred to the hospital in November and found out that im am totally fit and healthy convinced i was barren and poor DH has nothing at all not 1 little swimmer apparently he stopped development at the age of 12 so his testis are only 6mm instead of 20mm he is devastated it feels like we have hit a brick wall and this is it we'll never have children there is tell of a treatment he can have in America to replace his missing y chromosome and re start puberty but that's going to cost thousands and we don't have that much money. he won't even entertain the idea of adoption or sperm donor's even though i tell him dna doesn't matter it's easy for me to say because the baby will be biologically be mine. anyone else in the same situation ?

[SolasEile]

He's missing his Y chromosome?? I think someone's spinning a yarn here, either the doctors you saw or the people talking about this fertility treatment in the U.S. Or you yourself of course...

[HP07]

Not personally the same situation as me but I know of someone whose husband had an extra X chromasome so he was XXY. Is this what has happened with your husband or something different. In their case they went for a sperm donor and now have a lovely little girl through AI. No one would know to look at her that she isn't his daughter and I've heard people (who don't know of their situation) saying oh doesn't she look like her dad (although she mostly looks the spitting image of her mum). They are a lovely little family. Hopefully they won't mind me writing this but maybe it will be of some help to you, even if it's just to know that you aren't alone. X

[purplemeggie]

Not in the same position, but currently doing IVF with donor eggs so the missing link will be with me not with DH. Men do seem to have more of an issue with this than women - possibly because the woman still gets to 'host' the pregnancy and contribute to the developing foetus.

One thing I'd say is that since doing DE IVF myself and talking about it with friends, I've found out about a few people whom I knew had IVF babies but have since found out they were the product of donor eggs or sperm. Do you think this is a first gut-instinct reaction and that he might change his mind when it sinks in that he is also denying you the possibility of having your own child?

We are having treatment overs where all donor information is confidential. No one ever need know if you don't tell them, even the child themselves, although we would tell our child if we are successful.

Another possibility is embryo adoption - that way you could share the pregnancy but the child would not be genetically linked to either of you. Might he fell better about that? It does seem a bit extreme if you could use your own eggs, but it might be a workable compromise. It's cheaper than donor eggs too - not sure about donor sperm. Have a look at Arleta IVF for some example scenarios.

I hope you can resolve this - it must be very hard. Good luck

[purplemeggie]

overseas

[myusernameisusername]

Yes its possible to be missing your Y chromosome. his stopped functioning at 12 so is effectively gone.

[QOD]

My dd is a straight surrogate baby so ot mine biologically, makes no difference and she knows and cares not a jot

[Lauren83]

I'm newly pregnant with donor eggs after 4 ivfs and 7 years, I can honestly say this baby feels 100% mine, donors hard to get your head round but after the initial shock he may feel different. Good luck

[purplemeggie]

congratulations Lauren always good to hear positive outcomes . About to go for my 2nd DE transfer...

[Lauren83]

Thankyou! This was my second DE transfer too. Still in shock! Huge good luck to you

[babyiwantabump]

solas bit hurtful to try to say the OP is making it up . A quick google brings up this

ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/y-chromosome-infertility