Assisted conception after recurrent miscarriage part 7

[brownstag]

Here's the new thread, ladies.

[swlondonnanny]

Thank you Brown

[suemays]

Well done brown

[Arianrhod]

Thanks brown, think I posted in the old thread right afterr you created this one. Doh!

[VillageMum]

Thanks for the new thread brown! And ari thanks so much for your message, will reply this afternoon when I've a moment to myself... x

[swlondonnanny]

Ha, superdrug has buy one get one free offer on FRER - so of course I bought all they had - 4 boxes of 2 - so I got 8 tests for £20 little things which keep me happy...

[Pebbles73]

Thanks Brown and thanks Ari for pointing me in the right direction.

Well I wrote a nice big post yesterday and then lost it, was at lunch and didn't have time to do another one!

Duggs can't believe you haven't got long to go, only seems five mins ago I met you and Sue for a drink last December!

Ari I agree with you about symptoms, last time I had distinctive cramps four days or so after transfer and it turned out to mean nothing. I haven't really had any symptons other than bloating and burping which will be the progesterone making itself known!

Official test date was today and believe it or not we decided to wait until the weekend to test as couldn't cope with a negative result and then dashing off to work! Totally dreading it......

Hope you are both coping ok Brown & village, sending you both big hugs.

[brownstag]

I admire your patience, Pebbles! But I can understand it when so much is riding on it. The very best of luck for tomorrow. xx

[duggs1976]

Thinking of you pebbles x however I do want to add.. Although so much is riding on this from your journey perspective if it is not positive tomorrow that isn't the end of things and won't mean that all is in vain.
Rember I had an ivf, a FET and another IVf and none worked (one early failure and 2 negatives). It doesn't mean that is that. I can think of fewer people who deserve a positive and successful pregnancy. But if it isn't.. Be kind and look at Ari. That is all I can add for now. Massive hug x

[Pebbles73]

Thanks ladies, Duggs you made me feel really tearful, damn drugs .

My oh said this morning if it's not positive he doesn't feel ready t give up on Ivf yet, as for me I am not so sure as I think my uterus is the problem and all the msny issues I have. Will have to see next year I guess!

[swlondonnanny]

Pebbles best of the luck tomorrow, really hope you will get a really strong BFP
Brown how are you now you are not on cyclogest/steroids?
Village how do you feel? Do you carry on with your SO this cycle?
Duggs wow, after all the years of dissappointment you will get to meet your baby boy soon
Ari not long to go for you either
Belly how did your follow up scan go? Hope all is fine now
Well I had my second intralipids today and ended up not having it. The first one started to leak into the tissue around it (nurse didnt notice it, only when I said that it didnt feel right she checked!!!!). Than she collapsed 3 more veins and they rebooked me for next friday. I really hope this will not mess up all the treatment as I am meant to have 3 of them 2 weeks apart....
I am quite upset actually as was putting so much hope into this treatment and only 2 weeks into it it goes wrong already.....

[brownstag]

How disappointing, nanny. Why did that happen? Nurse error? Or small veins? I have very small rubbish veins myself and when I used to give blood it was always difficult pumping it out in time before the 15 minutes at which point the bolod starts coagulating. My veins are very scarred now.
As to no steroids for me, I am still on them, down to 15mg now. Feel slightly less shaky I think. I was thinking that if I ever get pregnant again, I would rather just have intralipids. I'm not sure what Mr S would think of that. I just can't stand the steroids! But no doubt I would succumb at BFP ...

[VillageMum]

Pebbles keeping everything crossed for you for testing. Completely know that feeling of dread. Just go for it, may it be the news you want!!

Duggs hope these last few weeks go uneventfully and that you're feeling great!

Ari wishing you the same!

nanny I believe the effect of intralipids lasts for four weeks, so you should be ok... Hope and trust all will be fine on Friday. I'll go back to SO next cycle; because I'll be having a hysteroscopy in the second half of my current cycle (it's the only time I can make the trip) we can't ttc this time. It's nice to have a brief break from it all!

brown hope you get some tlc and rest this weekend.

Waves to mel, belly and anyone I've missed.

[Arianrhod]

pebbles how are you doing??

[brownstag]

Any news, Pebbles? I've been thinking about you a lot.

Mumsnet was down yesterday morning; I never realised what a MN dependency I had until I couldn't access it.
I seem to have a 5mg pred tablet lodged in my throat this morning. I'm trying to think of bulky items of food to eat that might dislodge it. Bread doesn't seem to have worked ...
I've started bleeding properly now thankfully. Pain free so far, though I did wake up in the night drenched in sweat. I was worried it was an infection but my temperature is normal. Maybe hormonal? Has anyone else had that? Knowing my luck I'll pass straight from my last ever pregnancy into menopause.
Hope you're okay, nanny. It so often feels like one step forward, two steps back in this game when we try so hard to control every outcome. Sometimes we've got to step back mentally and just roll with it. A more experienced nurse next time I'm sure will sort it out, and, as Village says, you're still covered by the last one.
Enjoy your reproductive break, Village. It's almost like the run-up to Christmas when you have a big aim in mind, like going to Serum. I will be very interested to know what they find and what Penny advises. I suspect that eventually the evidence for the efficacy of the hysteroscopy/antibiotic combination will overwhelm me and I'll have to decide to do the same. Hopefully while I'm still fertile.

[swlondonnanny]

Thank you Brown and Village.
Village hope this hysteroscopy will bring you your answers. Has Penny suggested infection test as well? Or maybe you've had that one already...
Brown sorry you started to bleed but guess in your situation it's good news. Will you still go for your scan on tue? Re your night sweats - I always look at it as last bit of pregnancy hormone leaving ...
Yep - 1 step forward, 2 steps back. I know intralipids last for well over 4 weeks but I was supposed to have 3 lots 2 weeks apart. Dr Ndukwe is using this treatment instead of Humira/LIT/IVIG to calm my immune system down and that 2 weeks gap is important. When the manager of the clinic came to talk to me she was clearly worried that we'd have to cancel IVF cycle (she though I was having IVF) and clearly relaxed when I told her that we are only trying naturally and in worst case scenario I will 'only' miscarry again...
I went there really relaxed trusting the nurse to do her bit properly. Which I never do... Now I regret it...
I know this is a very small issue which doesn't affect my health/life etc and I suppose I can just restart from next week doing 3 of them 2 weeks apart. So all is fine, really... But if the same nurse is there next time and she doesn't manage it on first attempt I will leave and go to INS.

[VillageMum]

brown good news that things have started for you... Hope the pain stays away for as long as possible. I had terrible night sweats this time around too, just when I started to bleed, waking up with soaked pjs. It must be some sort of hormonal crash triggering this - I did wonder if it was pred withdrawal, but I hadn't been on it that long and felt fine otherwise, so went with the hormone theory. And the sweats have since stopped with the bleeding. Re Serum: Can't wait to go. Wish I'd booked this a year ago. But hindsight is a wonderful thing...

nanny I'm so sorry you're having this added stress. To answer your question - yes, I'm having the infections test, sample went off last week - I'm trying everything! I really hope Friday goes smoothly for you and that the nurse gets it right this time!

Pebbles thinking of you.

[Pebbles73]

As you have probably guessed unfortunately another negative for is. Not doing too badly as was expecting it this time after the last go just don't know what to do now. I don't understand why it's not working after having my septum removed when it has always worked wvety round previously from the fresh transfer or frozen transfer, just doesn't make sense! Will have a chat with Penny and see what she thinks.

Nanny sorry you had such a nightmare with the intralipids, nurse sounds like a bit of a mare!!

Brown I know this would sound strange to a normal person but good you have started bleeding naturally. Mine have always been natural, it can be a bit long and drawn out but at least less chance of scarring.

[swlondonnanny]

So sorry Pebbles

[brownstag]

I'm so sorry to hear that, Pebbles. I suppose it's just like every cycle, natural or artificial - it won't work every time, frustrating and disappointing though that is. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still just happens not to work that time, yet on another it will. It doesn't mean it won't work next time. It's possible you don't need to do anything more, just give it more time. But that's always the cruel thing about BFN - you just don't know. Hopefully Penny can give you some answers.
Thanks, Pebbles. This is the first miscarriage I've had this late naturally and it's very heavy. I've just been walking round the farmers' market talking to people, while aware of passing massive clots and other unmentionable objects. But still thankfully almost painless. And I'm glad to hear that it's normal to have hot sweats, thanks, Village and nanny.

[Pebbles73]

To run salt in the wound my sister has just told me my neice who is 21 is 21wks pregnant!! My sister said there was never a good time to tell me and she was upset and cried while I was fine as used to it!!!

It's not pleasant Brown passing it all and it is weird doing normal stuff while you can feeling it all happening.

[VillageMum]

Pebbles very sorry to hear it hasn't worked out this time. There just seems to be no rhyme or reason to getting pregnant! Would very much like to know what Penny says. Loads of hugs xx

Brown keeping busy (and active) is probably the best thing you could be doing... so glad you're having little pain and that it all seems to be happening quickly.

[suemays]

pebbles so sorry for the bfn and news of your niece. My nephew who is also 21 and his girlfriend had their one month old baby at my parents house for Christmas dinner last year while we were there. It was very hard and made me feel so old! You never know what is around the corner though - look at duggs, all of the attempted tries with ivf etc which didn't work and now she is almost due. I guess we will never know why some ivf rounds don't work but I still think you have a good chance.

brown I really don't think you will go straight into menopause after this. From what I have been told its a gradual decline and then lots of eggs are pushed out at the end which is why you hear of women in their late 40s having unplanned babies! The fact you are still conceiving is good but you just need to find the elusive egg.

[Mel3062]

Hi ladies I lost the thread! I'll catch up eventually.
Pebbles so sorry to read your news big hugs x
Im on 2 ww after so this month I got 1 follicle at 21 and one at 10 and mr s has upped gonal f to 150 next month, I'm lucky he agreed to do it really as not seen him since may last year. Prof q has offered me free retest so may so that next month whilst saving for serum in feb.
Waves to all x

[duggs1976]

Hey pebbles sorry you have to endure another disappointment. Your journey has been so long. I would strongly advise you stick to your original plan of a young, proven donor egg as you and I were originally intending. If that then doesn't work then I would say you can confidently walk away and over to the adoption route with the knowledge you cannot successfully carry a baby as far as you know. I'm saying this knowing your 12/13? Ur history TTC and numerous failed ivf attempts. You have given too much of your life over to this struggle. It doesn't mean in future you may not get naturally pregnant but
It does mean you can focus on becoming parents. Penny will no doubt recommend another shot with your own eggs but im not sure you can handle another round on top of everything. Just my totally honest opinion and one route I would and was about to take for myself. Hope I don't sound too cold, but hugs and wine just not going to cut it really - if in fact it ever does. Be strong and see this as a fact finding mission. You have it a go with hysto etc and yes maybe if and but - however there is a line. A proven donor of your colouring will give a strong selection of embryos - go for it once. X

[brownstag]

They are very wise words indeed, duggs. But I suppose it really does depend on how much hope you have left and how much more you can take. Personally speaking, I find any decision to use donor eggs is always delayed and postponed by success stories like yours and Sue's. You said it yourself; you were just going to go down this route yourself, and now you're naturally pregnant. Your whole life path can turn around in a single cycle. Plus there's no rush in the sense that one can be menopausal and still successfully use donor eggs. But a 12 or 13-year journey without a child is a very different thing of course. And everyone has a different point at which they'll say enough's enough - I just want that baby now.