Will I Be Refused IVF Treatment?

(10 Posts)
asgm12 Fri 21-Mar-14 12:57:42

Hi, I wonder if anyone can help?

I live with my husband and mother in law. My mother in law hates me and has done everything she can to split us up. She is verbally and emotionally abusive to us. She lies about us, bitches about us to everyone, causes arguments for no reason and makes nasty comments all the time. When my husband isn't there and she's in a bad mood she calls me names and basically threatens to have me chucked out. We live in a housing association house. She is the tenant we are lodgers.

She has twice involved social services telling them lots of lies that we are psychologically abusing her and that we are trying to drive her out to get the house for ourselves. They filed a 'partially substantiated' abuse report, signed off by senior member of the council/social services, despite never speaking to us to find out our side of the story. She is now involving them again saying the same thing.

Will this affect my chances of receiving IVF? We have been referred to Fertility Clinic because we are having problems conceiving. I am desperate for a child and I am terrified that her lies are going to destroy my chances of having a child. sad

Please can anyone offer any advice?

HaymitchAbarnathy Fri 21-Mar-14 13:00:07

Why are you still living there?

naty1 Fri 21-Mar-14 15:53:17

I dont know but we had to sign a form about no reason to think the child would be in danger. Ie no previous isaues with us. Maybe ask to see the paperwork you will need to sign

asgm12 Fri 21-Mar-14 16:28:16

HaymitchAbarnathy , its been complicated. We were saving for a deposit to buy a house and have been establishing our Business it has been a necessity rather than choice. We are starting moving out now we are in the position to do so but damage may already be done.

eurochick Fri 21-Mar-14 16:37:25

You do have to fill out a HFEA form which asks about things like mental health and social services involvement, so this will come up. I can't say whether it will affect eligibility.

suzylee73 Fri 21-Mar-14 17:27:39

I remember them asking about this too but I don't remember filling out a permission form for a Local Authority Check. I work for a fostering and adoption agency and if this kind of thing came up during routine checks because it doesn't involve a child you would be asked to explain but it wouldn't automatically rule you out.
I'm not sure they actually do any checks though so I wouldn't worry about it.

CointreauVersial Fri 21-Mar-14 17:38:36

Never mind the IVF, you need to move out of such a toxic environment.

asgm12 Fri 21-Mar-14 20:15:27

suzylee73 thank you that is helpful to know. I would be devastated if our chances of having a baby were gone because of this. I empathize with my MIL because she must be a very unhappy person to be the way she is.

CointreauVersial you're so right. My parents have said the same to me all along, and I knew from the start that we needed to be away from it. We have worked so long and so hard for our deposit and building our business up and it might sound mad but we had so much (for our future) to lose at the time if we made the wrong decision. Happily we are now in the process of moving, it's the knock on effects of what she has said/done that are concerning me.

Hedgehog80 Fri 21-Mar-14 20:19:00

I might be wrong but doesn't the hfea form ask only if there is current involvement from ss or if any existing dcs are subject to child protection etc?
If that is the case then neither apply to you as you said in your op the case was signed off therefore just fill in the form saying there are no issues.

suzylee73 Fri 21-Mar-14 21:28:10

I agree with Hedgehog, they don't need to know so say nothing. Good luck

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