So my children have been with their father since 11am this morning. At least i got to see them open their presents which was lovely. Times like this though when i really wish that me and my husband could be sitting here now enjoying Christmas with our baby. Been trying for 18 months, no success and i'll be 39 in March so i'm not getting any younger. Hubby is just 26 and has no kids of his own so it would be so lovely to have a child together. I'm starting to think it will never happen and i'm fed up with people asking, "So, when are you two going to have a baby" ?. Also, obviously, many of my hubby's friends are young couples who are now thinking about starting families or already have small children and babies. I know i was fortunate enough to have that, 3 times over. I wasn't happy though as i was with the wrong man. Now i have found the love of my life and desperately want a child and it's just not happening. I was once so fertile, up until a few years ago, then it disappeared. I want to be that young woman once more with peak fertility and the promise of a baby on the horizon. Everything just looks bleak now that i'm getting older. This time last year i imagined that i might be sitting with my baby now. I hope so much that i get a BFP for 2014 and i'm nursing my new baby on Christmas day. As i will be close to turning 40 this time next year, a baby would be my best 40th present ever. Am i just being unrealistic in thinking i will get to have a child again at my age. Oh how i wonder ?......
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Kids are with their dad and i wish i had a new baby this Christmas!
27 replies
erilou38 · 25/12/2013 19:31
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