I have never got coping emotionally sussed either, it's very much a work in progress, so I can't offer any magic bullets.
I did find talking to the fertility counsellor at the clinic very helpful during dark times, she had some wise insights and helped me see a few things in a new way.
Have you tried mindfulness meditation? It's not for everyone but I have certainly found it helps with stress and with managing to coexist with the sadness and other emotions. The idea is that you learn in time to notice your feelings without judging them, and let them pass over. I use a CD called "mindfulness of breathing:managing pain illness and stress" by Vidyamala Burch. If nothing else, it is relaxing to take time out quietly for the breathing exercises.
There is a saying that "you can't stop the birds of sorrow flying overhead, but don't let them nest in your hair". I think being sad and hurting during this shitty time is normal, and it's healthy to cry or have a handhold in RL or on here, when you need to. But if the birds are getting settled in and nesting, you've got to take steps to evict the little critters. It might sound contrived, but scheduling treats (needn't be expensive) or things that bring you pleasure, can help - I think you have to fight to keep infertility from taking over every part of life, and to keep your hold on the good bits. They are still there, or they will be again.
It's also a good trick, when you are running your body down to yourself for letting you down again, to think what you'd say to a friend in the same circumstances i.e. be kind to yourself.
I'd also mention the Zita West visualisation CD's which encourage positive thinking about your body, as well as relaxation and de-stressing, but you might want to throw them in a corner, or at me, if you're feeling that down about your body not doing its job at the moment.
I realise these things are all easier said than done and they're also tiny sticking plasters on a big painful wound. But little steps all help... Hopefully others will be along soon with more and better ideas.