Sperm exchanged for eggs

(5 Posts)
Luckystarfour Tue 22-Jan-13 20:39:19

Hi

This forum appears to offer a wealth of ideas in helping couples to reach their dream and therefore I want to enquire about the possibility of helping a couple with eggs in exchange for sperm. (It's seems crude saying it but I will go on to explain)

My husband and I have had 4 failed cycles of Ivf and desperately would like to start our family. I am 34 And my hubby 35.

We have had every test known to man and our difficulty is the morphology or the sperm. I have had good yields of eggs (19 highest - 12 lowest) and all nice and mature each time.

We are considering the next steps of a sperm donor and in all honesty we had hoped that this would mean no more Ivf! However our clinic indicates that if using frozen sperm we'd have a better result with Ivf than IUI!

Therefore this leads us to thinking about fresh samples and the DIY route. Clearly we wouldn't want to do this with anyone - untested! So our thought was what better way to help a couple than to provide my eggs for your sperm. Our feeling is, is that a couple who have already been going through IVF would be so in tune with the emotional journey that the idea of helping someone in The same position and being helped by a couple that understood our journey might make the whole process of donor sperm emotionally easier.

These are just initial enquiries - and thoughts aloud to consider reactions - but if you might consider such an option please do private message me.

If anyone has any experiences o cycles with sperm donors using the donor list we would be really interested to hear your experiences and to tell us if this is a crazy idea or worth considering.

We are a really genuine loving couple looking to move our lives on and start our family.

Look forward to hearing your thoughs, all thoughts welcome! :-)

MuddyWellyNelly Thu 24-Jan-13 17:43:45

I have had one cycle of IVF so far. My DH's sperm are fine but I have low AMH for my age. I did get two good quality embies so think I was just unlucky this cycle, but haven't ruled out Donor eggs being needed. However I don't think I'd go for what you suggest for 2 reasons:

Firstly, if both couples had resulting children, they would biologically be full siblings. For reasons I can't comprehend, this bothers me.

Secondly, I wouldn't be ok with my DH donating his sperm. Infertility is frankly horrendous, and knowing I haven't been able to give him his own child eats me up. I am therefore not comfortable with the possibility that someone else could be carrying his biological child, when I can't manage it. (Of course the outcome could be both couples end up pregnant, but if it was only the other couple, that would be heartbreaking for me).

Hope that makes sense, and of course it's just my view. In any case, I'm not even sure this would be allowed for ethical reasons.

Good luck with your own journey - it's a horrible situation to be in.

Luckystarfour Thu 24-Jan-13 22:23:20

Hi Muddy
Both vey good points and I'm glad I lbe posted to gain feedback. There does seem to be an awful lot of support out there for couples needing egg donors and plenty of lovely ladies share their experience on these sites - so you will be amongst good support and wisdom.

It is difficult when not many women share their stories about sperm donors - I would really love to be in touch with more women and men who have had to make the difficult decision - especially when the biological door isn't fully closed!

Good luck in your journey too :-)

DomesticCEO Thu 24-Jan-13 22:26:43

LuckyStar, we've been through the agony of IF too and found Fertility Friends very helpful.

fertility friends

I wish you all the best x

Luckystarfour Fri 25-Jan-13 16:15:47

Thanks domesticCEO I have been scouting through fertilty friends but so far nothing so specific about making the final decision - ill keep browsing though.

:-)

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