Agree with worldgonecrazy - realism is the most important thing. Ivf is a numbers game - every round someone will get pregnant and several others will not. It's not your fault, it's not the drs fault.
I am pregnant after 1 FET and 3 full cycles. I can tell you what I did but I can't tell you which action was the determining factor. Probably none. First, for all cycles, I told no family. Depends on your family I guess but I read a huge number of threads where family members were not good sources of support and once they are told you can't untell them. Second I joined fertility friends - sorry mumsnet but the level of knowledge and experience is higher there. Before the second round I stopped drinking any alcohol or caffeine. I also tried to exercise more. There are some papers that suggest that even a modest weight loss can help. I also upped the amount of protein in my diet as I am veggie. I also let the woo get to me and bought a relaxation cd. Didn't use it again after cycle 2. I changed from a folic acid tablet to a combined pre-pregnancy multi vit. Post cycle 2 I started taking dhea. I had already bought this (you need to import from the usa but it is relatively cheap) following advise from fertility friends however at my cycle two follow up appointment my private consultant recommended it and gave me several papers demonstrating efficacy. I then went back to the nhs for a FET and the nhs consultant also recommended this. Fourth round I was still not drinking alcohol or caffeine, was exercising and eating well, taking the vit and the dhea. I stopped exercise when I started stimming. I got 4 eggs, 3 fertilised and were deemed to be of equal quality. The embryologist recommended trying to get to blastocyst (5 day transfer) as they all looked good and I was bleeding post retrieval for a couple of days anyway. All other transfers had been 3 days. By day five one little fella had given up, one was blastocyst and one was slightly delayed in growth. The two survivors went back in where as I had only put one back before. Also, the transfer was difficult so a consultant was called who did it under ultra sound. This was the first time I had had a guided transfer. I am now a nervous 11 + 2.
So, hardly a controlled experiment! Take your pick as to which factor was key. My mantra (that some one on here told me many years ago) is that ivf should not be considered as a one off treatment but as a course. For your own sanity have at least the next step planned out in your head in the event it doesn't work. Having a plan gave me a sense of purpose and a shared vision with my partner.