That Fertility issues have any bearing on parenting (positive or negative) and your perception of pregnancy?
I've been pondering this lately. Am 31 w today with DC2. Took us 15 months to concieve DS1, now 3. That is a relatively short time, but that was sex almost everyday an at a point when sex wasnt even enjoyed I dont think. Ironically got BFP a few days after first consultants appointment.
I often attributed that to some sort of resolution to the fact that it was beyond our power.
Anyway this pregnancy we were trying for 26 months but in a different, less formal I suppose, way to the last.
In the interim I was diagnosed with suspected PCO (no S for me) in that one ovary was disfigured, I struggled with weight etc but hormone profile wasnt completely right for PCOS. Having had GD in both pregnancies, I am likely to be tested for insulin resistance as Im having insulin issues at the mo.
Anyway I was going through almost my reproductive life in my head last night, miscarriages, TTC, doctors appointments etc and it reminded me of the feelings i've had towards pregnant women...
I went through jealousy resentment etc and dark feelings, but I also think it led me to be a more intersted friend, as I pushed myself to be, so as not to appear bitter. I was always open about our issues with friends and relatives.
I also thought about how it (may have) affected my parenting. DS is quite a fortunate child I think, he has nice things, he goes out to fun places, he is always well fed etc, but I wondered if I have in the past over indulged him, and the reasons for this. On one hand I went without as a child as did DP so we are compensating for that, but I wonder subconciously If I regard him as hard won?
I suppose im just rambling.. Mind dumping.. But I wonder if im the only one to think about it.
I think so. Dd took 2.5 years to conceive. Certainly in pregnancy I didn't ever want to complain even though in retrospect it was a difficult pregnancy. Also I spent the first six months quite worried she'd been given to us by mistake and waiting for something awful to happen. I think perhaps I was a little depressed and the stress of ttc and relief at eventual success finally caught up with me once she got here. Am pg again now and this one happened first month ttc which was also a shock and now I am worried I won't love this one as much because we didn't have to try so hard to get it.