Would you be my egg donor?

(123 Posts)
Pocket1 Mon 09-Jul-12 21:22:34

I am wondering if there is a wonderful person out there who would consider donating eggs to myself and my partner? He and I are desperate to become parents but I’m unable to use my own eggs – we have recently had two rounds of IVF with donor eggs. We got pregnant the first time, but I miscarried at 6 weeks and on our second try with frozen embryos we got a negative. We are London based and already with a lovely clinic but face a long wait now we have to rejoin the donor waiting list again. If there is anyone out there who would consider being our donor please PM me so I can put you in touch with the clinic with our unique code number to reference you back to us. Thank you so much in advance. x

Greensleeves Mon 09-Jul-12 21:25:19

More info: what's involved? Is it dangerous? Is it painful? How much time commitment?

Claire2009 Mon 09-Jul-12 21:26:53

I would but I am based in Devon. Good Luck with everything x

mosschops30 Mon 09-Jul-12 21:27:38

I have considered donating my eggs, as they are no longer any use to me, my family is complete.
However my worry is that i would be connected to that child.
Is that the case?

Pocket I would consider it but am currently 17 weeks pg, how soon would you need/want to harvest.

Might be useful for people to know whether you have a preference to race etc of the egg donor.

mosschops30 Mon 09-Jul-12 21:35:42

Ive just had a look at the egg donation website. Ive just turned 37 so think i would be too old

lozster Mon 09-Jul-12 21:55:36

Pocket, I hope you don't mind my asking, but why don't you travel abroad for treatment? Genuinely interested as I've looked in to it myself (no waiting lists, anonymity for life) and it seems much easier than pursuing treatment in the UK. I'm wondering what I've missed/why others think/feel differently. I'm interested in another view point.

Pocket1 Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:24

Hello

Thanks for all your responses you are all so kind and its massively appreciated smile

I’ve never had egg collection myself (my eggs are no good hence I need a donor) but eggs are collected under local anaesthetic. I believe its potentially uncomfortable rather than painful. Prior to collection you'll be given meds to stimulate the follicles to develop the eggs. I don’t think its dangerous as such but you will be carefully monitored. In terms of time, I think there would be probably a few appointments at the clinic – one for initial consultation, certainly a scan to see how thing are developing and then another for the actual collection. You’ll need to have some blood test (HIV, blood type, chlamydia, hep b etc - I’ve had similar ones done) so we can be full checked out and matched etc. Here are a couple of links with relevant info which I hope is helpful…

hsfc.org.uk/fertility/egg-donation/

hsfc.org.uk/egg-donors/

In terms of geography, I really don’t mind where you’re from – if you can get to London then we could make it work.

Legally, donors have no responsibility at all for the child – and the donation can be completely anonymous, ie donor and recipient would not meet. When the donor conceived child reaches 18, they can contact the donor – but again there is no legal responsibility/liability at all. Here is the official link to the HFEA site. www.hfea.gov.uk/1962.html

I’m white, 5’3”, small build, brown hair, fair skinned with blue eyes (but with mine/DP’s heritage, we’d be happy with olive skin and brown eyes too).

We are also looking into overseas donation but I’m struggling to get my head around it. Besides, my treatment to date has been with a really nice clinic in London where I’ve been treated well and would like to continue my treatment there…

In case you want more info my clinic is these guys hsfc.org.uk/ and my unique reference number is 177 – I’d be grateful if anyone interested quoted this numbers as otherwise I may lose you to another recipient!!

Thanks again...

x

Melindaaa Tue 10-Jul-12 20:54:59

I'd have done it, but my AMH is low, and on the highest stim meds I only produced two eggs for my friends last year.

For anyone interested in doing it, it really only takes a small amount of your time. Of course you need to make time for scans (internal) and be prepared for blood tests etc. but once treatment starts you are done and dusted in 2-3 weeks.

Hearing that your recipient is pregnant is the best feeling in the world.

Pocket1 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:24:04

Thanks Melindaa i really appreciate your message and kind words. FX i'll find someone as lovely as you. grin

Do you know if depression classes as mental health problems? Would love to donate to you but have had depression.

Crass I know but do you get paid ?

<<<<<skint emoticon>>>>>

Pocket I shall message you and let you know when baby has arrived, hopefully you will have found a donor by then. (by the sounds of it we are of very similar colouring and build)

Good luck if I don't contact you before jan and u have yet to find anyone please message me to remind me, I am very forgetful!)

Pocket1 Tue 10-Jul-12 21:45:48

Hi Sparkly I'm really not sure, sorry, will see if i can find out...

Korma £750 check out the official link from HFEA www.hfea.gov.uk/egg-donation-and-egg-sharing.html

Pocket1 Wed 11-Jul-12 06:26:07

Thank you Stacey will do. Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. xxx

Sharksandfishes Wed 11-Jul-12 07:02:16

I did egg donation 2 years ago for my sister. It is very hard and although not particularly painful, it is stressful and the hormones play havoc with your emotions.

It was longer than 2-3 weeks for me because my eggs didn't grow too quick, so it was more like a month.

Personally I wouldn't do it for anyone other than a family member, but I do think it is an amazing thing to do for someone.
We had to have a lot of counselling - as a couple, as a group and individually to make sure everyone was on the same page, and this covered things like what we would tell the child, our child, how we would feel if the child wasn't being brought up the way we thought they should, etc

In terms of being pregnant, you also need to think about breastfeeding. My DS was 10 months when they wanted to start testing me for suitability which meant I had to give up. I probably would've liked to have done a year but we had reasons that meant we had to start the treatment when we did.

Obviously it is different for everyone, but this is my experience. smile
My sister now has a beautiful little girl who looks nothing like me and I don't feel anything other than the usual "auntie" feelings towards her. I am also pregnant and didn't have any difficulty conceiving, so not sure how relevant the whole "complete your own family first" rule is.

Hope this helps anyone considering, and good luck with your search Pocket1

I'm 5ft, white, dark haired, petite build and brown eyes. I had a baby 6 weeks so guess I have to wait a bit to get my cycle back. But I'm seriously considering it. X

maples Wed 11-Jul-12 07:57:43

Kat how lovely you are considering this.

Good luck with your search op!

Mama1980 Wed 11-Jul-12 08:05:23

Hi pocket I can't seem to pm you, could you send me a message then I will reply to it thanks smile

I spoke to my dp and he said that he would support me if I want to do this. I'm not having periods ATM as baby is only 6 weeks old and I'm waiting for my cycle to come back. I have thought about doing this for many years now and I can't imagine being without my 5 kids so to donate my eggs which will be wasted otherwise would mean a lot to me.
Can you find out when I would be able to donate after having a baby please?

I would love to be an egg donor but have PCOS and had to have fertility treatment myself.

Wishing you luck.

Having been through the heartache of infertility I would love to have been in a position to donate eggs, but unfortunately I was too old when I started my treatment. I don't think there is anything more precious that you can do for a fellow woman.

I really hope that you get the baby you long for.

(sorry a bit of a useless response but just wanted to offer some support)

Pocket1 Wed 11-Jul-12 14:59:45

Lovely lovely ladies. My assisted conception journey has been a very emotional one. And I have had such huge support from the girls on the relevant threads here on mn. And I have to say you've all done it again - its just staggering and overwhelming how many kind women there are out there.

Thank you for all your posts.

Sparkly I will find out and post an update for you.

I'm still looking for a donor match do please get in touch if you could help.

X

maples Wed 11-Jul-12 17:08:29

Pocket just to add would offer to help myself but I'm 37 so my eggs probably a bit duff.

How lovely ladies on here are to want to help smile

Melindaaa Wed 11-Jul-12 17:12:47

Pocket1, would the eggs go directly to you, or would they go to someone else and then you go to the top of the list?

Add your message here

To post you need a valid nickname and password. Log in if you are a returning member, or join for free.

If you have forgotten your nickname or your password, you can get a reminder.