Toddler and newborn twins .... Is there a thread on this? (WARNING; Upsetting content. Added by MNHQ)

(36 Posts)
llamallama Mon 09-Dec-13 22:25:21

I saw a post on Facebook about it and now just can't get the thoughts out of my head

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/tragedy-merseyside-toddler-accidentally-drowns-6380956

The mum must have been so out of it not to hear what was going on!

Is there a thread on this already? I did a search but nothing came up.

I feel so awful for that poor 3 year old

Dilidali Mon 09-Dec-13 22:28:20

Christ almighty!!!!

HermioneWeasley Mon 09-Dec-13 22:30:59

Dear god, how much suffering and unhappiness in one family

kelper Mon 09-Dec-13 22:34:10

Heartbreaking sad((

youarewinning Mon 09-Dec-13 22:39:25

Heartbreaking. So much sadness and suffering in one family - both before and after the incident.

JulieMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 09-Dec-13 22:40:55

sad Our hearts go out to the poor family.

We've had a request to make a slight amendment to your title, llama.

Hassled Mon 09-Dec-13 22:42:30

God how awful. Poor all of them. The poor toddler - what will his life be like, knowing this happened?

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 09-Dec-13 22:42:45

What an awful awful tragedy.

Poor family. Especially that toddler.

Just sad

FriendofDorothy Mon 09-Dec-13 22:44:50

How awful. That poor toddler, he was just trying to make the babies clean. Heart-breaking. Awful.

HerlockSholmes Mon 09-Dec-13 22:45:08

how awful sad

i hope the toddler doesn't blame himself as he grows older, the poor wee soul.

i don't know what to make of the mother.

lisad123everybodydancenow Mon 09-Dec-13 22:45:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh god! So sad. sad

LegoCaltrops Mon 09-Dec-13 22:47:55

How unutterably sad. Hope the mother gets & accepts help. And those poor children.

llamallama Mon 09-Dec-13 22:49:15

Yes I agree with the thread warning...sorry I wasn't sure what to write. I thought making it descriptive & in the news section would help and people might avoid if they didn't want to know more. Sorry, should have added a warning myself really.

It's truly horrific.

Poor poor babies, all 3 of them.

EssentialCoffee Mon 09-Dec-13 22:50:55

I found this story really shocking and upsetting. I heard it on the news and the mother did say that she blamed herself and that her toddler must never blame himself sad Very very sad.

Annunziata Mon 09-Dec-13 22:51:27

Please take that title away!

hoppingmad Mon 09-Dec-13 22:57:45

Absolutely heart breaking. Newborn twins, a toddler, escaping dv and alcohol dependency and all she got was advice. Obviously I don't know the facts but that's a heck of a lot to deal with and no clear sign of practical support.
I remember very clearly the sheer exhaustion of newborn twins and I had a lot of help and no toddler or emotional issues to worry about.

It's just so sad that the family has been utterly destroyed hmm

Those poor babies and toddler. This story is heart breaking.

Don't really know what kind of support is available in that situation but there must have been some way to get help. This could have been prevented if someone had stepped in.

DuchessFanny Mon 09-Dec-13 23:13:25

The saddest thing I've read for a long time .. Tragic for everyone concerned. I'll be thinking of that toddler a lot, I know :'(

RedLondonBus Mon 09-Dec-13 23:17:00

She had already been advised

I don't know what help or 'stepping in' could have prevented this?

peppapigmustdie Mon 09-Dec-13 23:21:31

That is the saddest thing I have ever read I think. The fact that the toddler was trying to do a good thing breaks my heart. I hope he/she doesn't grow up blaming themselves, or gets a new family/identity and they never find out or remember.

From the article it sounded like the advise she received was not to drink around children. I think considering the situation then it's unlikely the advice would be taken.

By help, I mean things social services, surestart centres, family, friends etc.

StandingInLine Mon 09-Dec-13 23:27:16

Truly heartbreaking sad

MamaPingu Mon 09-Dec-13 23:29:10

The toddlers intentions were sweet and beautiful. The consequences are horrendous sad

The mother was clearly not coping and wasn't coping after domestic violence. I can't help but feel if they knew she was regularly drinking in the care of these children more could have been done

onedev Mon 09-Dec-13 23:33:01

Absolutely tragic. Poor poor children & that poor toddler. That really is the worst thing I've read in a very long time.

RedLondonBus Mon 09-Dec-13 23:41:34

Social services and sure start are little use day to day are they? They can't be there all the time. And as for family/friends.... She was in a hostel. So doubt she had that kind of support. And even if she did have them locally, they can't be there either

An alcoholic will always find a way

HermioneWeasley Tue 10-Dec-13 08:25:29

I can't see what could have been done to protect the kids other than take them into care, and then there would be an outraged thread on here saying that SS are too quick to do that. And I guess that if all the kids of alcoholics were taken into care, the system would collapse.

I was just giving examples, as I wrote previously, I don't know exactly what help is available. I just feel that more could have been done.

MamuPingu wrote what I meant to say better than me.

RedLondonBus Tue 10-Dec-13 13:59:54

I doubt more could have been done always easy to say that afterwards

Juliet123456 Tue 10-Dec-13 19:27:54

Yes, I read about it. How very sad.

We can certainly do a lot more research into the causes of alcoholism. There is a genetic component.

Secondly more families could make sure drink is not part of every day life. There is no need for most people to drink alcohol every day. Plenty of different cultures in the UK don't drink at all and manage happy lives.

Thirdly we can try to make sure fathers are very very involved in family life even after a split.

However accidents happen in all sorts of families whether there is alcohol or not. I bet few of us could be sure that something like that could never happen - that a toddler could not have got its hands on the baby and hurt it. We went into the older two's bedroom when one was 1 in her cot and the other in a bed next door (she was 3) and the older one was hitting the 1 year old over the head with a big plastic toy. We heard the screams. The little one couldn't speak by that age so just pointed at her head and rubbed it. No harm done thankfully. I also shut my 1 year old son's finger in the door and the end came off although it was later stuck back on in hospital - no lasting harm done. I had no idea it was in the door at the time.

You read cases like this and think there but for the grace of God go we.

cestlavielife Tue 10-Dec-13 22:10:41

She had fled domestic violence.
You can't have violent parents fathers involved when they violent .

That is wholly unrealistic.

You have to try to get those violent parents into treatment first.

And treatment programmes for violent parents have very low success rates sadly.

hoppingmad Tue 10-Dec-13 22:21:20

I think it is human nature to be so horrified by something that you can't help thinking how it could have been prevented.
Specialised support centres where parents could get treatment for their dependency and also receive help with caring for the newborns maybe? Of course that runs the risk of being a bit 'nanny state' and funding would be a nightmare and it might not even work so can't see how it would be feasible but that doesn't stop every part of me screaming to turn back the clock and stop it. It's just too sad not to think 'if only....'

phantomnamechanger Wed 11-Dec-13 20:20:51

oh how utterly utterly awful sad I hope the toddler receives appropriate care to enable them to move on

JemR234 Wed 11-Dec-13 20:26:21

That is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. Just such a horrific situation all round. I hope that the 3 year old is able to recover from this and that his life is not completely destroyed.

RedLondonBus Wed 11-Dec-13 20:55:27

Well I'm hoping that he's now with a new family and able to live a good life without his main carer being drunk. Poor child

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